Can’t believe I did that, she thought as some of the lust cleared from her mind and she was able to think again. That was so inappropriate! So wrong!
But it hadn’t felt wrong. It had felt incredible. Being held in Lone’s strong arms and letting him fuck her with the thick shaft had been one of the most erotic experiences of her life.
It shouldn’t have been though, she thought guiltily. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I control myself? Is it just this damn needing that’s got me so tied up in knots or is it something else? Something more?
“How do you feel?” Lone’s deep voice drew her back to herself and she looked up to see him bending over her with a worried look in his eyes.
“I’m fine,” she said reflexively, looking away from him. “Better now. Thanks.”
“Don’t do that.” Lone said softly.
“Do what? What are you talking about?” Lizabeth tied to sit up but the damn phallus was still inside her. She reached down to pull it out, feeling a surge of shame as she did so. God, the way she had acted…
“Don’t act like you’re ashamed of what just happened.”
“It was…a regrettable necessity.” She sat up at last and put some distance between them. She could hear her voice becoming businesslike and impersonal again but she couldn’t seem to help it. “We, er, had to do it. But that doesn’t mean we have to dwell on it.”
“Yes we do. Lizabeth we need to talk about this,” he argued softly. “About the rolls we have to play here and the things we have to do. Especially since you continue to have needing attacks.”
“I’m sorry about that,” she said, looking away. “Sorry you have to uh, help me so much.”
“I’m not. Look at me.” His big hand cupped her chin and turned her face up to his. “I love helping you, Lizabeth,” he said softly. “I just wish you enjoyed being helped.”
“It seemed like I enjoyed myself quite a bit just now, didn’t it?” she said, hearing the clipped, brittle tone of her own voice and not being able to help it. “You had me writhing all over the bed while you sucked my breasts and pumped me with that…that thing.” She nodded down at the black phallus which lay discarded on the far side of the bed.
“I gave you what you needed,” Lone said, frowning. “Why is that such a problem for you?”
“For God’s sake, you’re my assistant, Lone,” she burst out. “It’s not appropriate for us to do…those things together.”
“Maybe not,” he said steadily. “But there’s not much we can do about it. Not while you keep having needing attacks and we’re expected to act as Mistress and Novice while we’re at the Tower.”
“What are you saying?” Lizabeth demanded. “That I should just…just deal with it? Just chalk it all up to necessity and not feel guilty at all?”
“Why should you feel guilty?” Lone’s voice was low and coaxing. “For getting what your body needs? For doing what you have to do in order for us to stay here so you can learn the Yonnite law? None of this is your fault, Lizabeth—why feel bad about it?”
“I…” Lizabeth bit her lip. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just worried that this will…will come back to haunt us once we get back to the Mother Ship.”
“What if I promised it wouldn’t?” he asked. “What if I swore to you that our relationship would go back to being completely professional as soon as we get home? Is that what you want?”
To be honest, it wasn’t exactly what Lizabeth wanted. But what she wanted—truly wanted in her heart of hearts—was completely impossible and she knew it from hard personal experience.
“I…guess so,” she said at last.
“Then it will,” Lone said. “While we’re here at the Tower I’ll call you Mistress and help you control your needing. But the minute we get back to the Mother Ship, you can go back to the med center and get another shot of the Xi-46 antidote—maybe it will work better the second time. And I’ll go back to being your perfectly professional assistant.”
“And…and what we do here won’t…won’t affect our work together?” Lizabeth knew what he was offering was impossible—cart blanche to do anything she wanted and act on all the forbidden thoughts and fantasies she’d ever had of him with no consequences. But the idea was just so…tempting. And his face was completely serious as he answered.
“Absolutely no effect whatsoever,” he promised. “We’ll do what we have to do here to get by and to help you with your needing attacks. Once we get home, it’s back to business as usual—I swear.”
“Well…” Lizabeth had to admit that the deal did make her feel a little better. Although there was a tiny bit of her that wished he would confess his undying love and beg to have a long-lasting relationship instead of just offering her an easy out.
What, like Arturo did? scoffed a little voice in her head. Right…I don’t think so, Lizabeth. This is definitely the best offer you’re going to get. Better accept it.
“All right,” she said at last, looking up at Lone. “I guess…I guess there’s nothing else we can do. And thank you for not minding.”
“How could I mind finally being able to touch you and taste you, Mistress?” he growled softly. “I wasn’t lying when I said I fantasized about you all the time.”
Lizabeth bit her lip. “Maybe…maybe you shouldn’t tell me things like that, Lone. It might make working together when we get home again difficult.”
“I just want you to know how desirable I find you.” Reaching for her hand, he pulled her to the side of the bed again. “Just want you to know I love helping you…Mistress.”
Lizabeth’s heart was pounding as she looked into his pale gray eyes.
“Lone…” she whispered.
“I think you still have some nectar in your breasts, Mistress,” he murmured, giving her a sexy little smile that seemed to melt things inside her. “May I suck your nipples again to be certain I’ve gotten the last of it?”
“I…I suppose so.” The words were hardly out of her mouth before his hot lips had closed around her aching right peak and he was sucking long and hard, sending showers of sparks straight to her pussy.
Lizabeth threw back her head and moaned as she threaded her fingers through his thick, dark hair.
Shouldn’t do this…it’s dangerous…it will only lead to trouble…
But what else could she do when they were stuck here playing the roles of Mistress and Novice and the damned needing wouldn’t leave her alone?
It’s only for a little while, she promised herself. As soon as we get back to the Mother Ship, we’ll get back to normal.
Not that she really believed that. But she had to tell herself something. And then she lost herself in the pleasure of Lone’s mouth on her breasts and stopped thinking at all.
It’s only for a little while, Lone told himself. You’d better make the most of it—store up as many memories as you can because as soon as we get back to the Mother Ship, she’ll never let you touch her again.
The thought made him sad but what could he do about it? He’d had to propose this compromise to Lizabeth or she would have gone on feeling guilty and miserable every time he had to help her and that was the last thing he wanted.
What he’d really wanted to do was declare his love—to tell her that he’d wanted her as more than a boss for years—ever since he’d first met her, in fact. But he sensed Lizabeth wouldn’t be open to that at all.
So this was all they had—all they could ever have—and Lone intended to make the most of it. After they left the Tower of the Higher Mind, he would have to go back to being just her assistant. But for now, at least, he could be her Novice and the male who helped her through her needing attacks.
Gods, Lizabeth, he thought as he palmed her full breasts and sucked the other tight nipple into his mouth. Love you so much. I just wish I could tell you…
Thirteen
A steady rapping on the wooden door of their bedchamber woke Lizabeth up with a start.
To her surprise, she found she wasn�
�t in bed alone.
Where am I? What’s going on?
Looking up and to her left, she saw that she was sleeping entwined with Lone, her arms and legs entangled with his and her cheek resting on his broad, muscular chest. Oh God, what had they done last night?
Slowly, the memories came back to her. The way he’d pretended to fuck her at dinner…and the way he’d brought her back to their bedroom and fucked her for real with the shiny black phallus afterwards. The deal they had made, that he would act as her Novice and help her with her needings while they were at the Tower but that things would go back to business as usual as soon as they returned to the Mother Ship.
And then he started sucking my nipples again…making sure he’d gotten all the nectar out of my breasts, Lizabeth thought, feeling a rush of shame and desire go through her at once. And he ended up using the shaft on me again…slowly this time…
She couldn’t forget the way Lone had cradled her in his arm and looked into her eyes while he thrust the thick toy gently and slowly between her legs, filling her pussy to the limit and watching her face while she came…Couldn’t forget the way he had whispered how beautiful she was and kissed her long and deep, swallowing her cries of pleasure eagerly while asking nothing for himself in return.
God, how embarrassing! And yet…it had technically been within the limits of their agreement, Lizabeth reminded herself. Though she hadn’t exactly been having a needing attack, her pussy had felt painfully empty when he finished sucking the last drops of nectar out of her breasts. Lone had only been helping her, as she had agreed he could.
I should stop feeling guilty, she told herself. Lone offered me an arrangement and I took it. It’s not like he’s wanting a long-term relationship or anything. This is all about necessity and convenience. We just—
The knocking on the door sounded again, reminding her of what had wakened her in the first place.
“I’ll get it.” Lone rolled over and sat up, his muscular, naked form filling her with a warm rush of lust. He was built like a Greek God—a fact she had tried to ignore when he was only her assistant. But now that she’d actually gotten to feel those washboard abs pressed against her body and feel the strength of his biceps and broad shoulders as he carried her and cradled her against him she found she saw him in a whole new light. A possessive feeling rushed over her.
He’s mine, whispered a little voice in her head. Not just my assistant—mine. My Novice—my property. Mine.
It was a ridiculous thought and she tried to push it away—you couldn’t own another person.
Not even if they want to be owned? asked a little voice inside her head. Memories of him bending over her, whispering how beautiful she was, hungry to make her come and give her pleasure filled her head. Were all Kindred like this? So eager to please a woman sexually? So devoted to fulfilling her every wish and need? If so, no wonder the divorce rate among them was zero percent.
She knew women who got frustrated with their Kindred husbands at time—her friend Kat, who she had met recently at a women’s group aboard the Mother Ship—often butted heads with her Dark Twin husband, Deep. As she had explained to Lizabeth—“They’re freaking incredible lovers and they’re amazingly attuned to the females they love but they’re still male which means they can get on a girls’ nerves something fierce sometimes.” Then she had sighed and smiled. “But you know, we always make up. Deep isn’t one of those guys who can’t apologize when he’s in the wrong and he and Lock both love me and the boys to distraction. They’re wonderful husbands and fathers.”
It was a story Lizabeth had heard over and over again during her time aboard the Mother Ship—that Kindred seemed to instinctively know what a woman wanted and they, in turn, wanted to give it to her. But she had never believed that would apply to her own life. She was too old to start something with someone new, she told herself. And besides, most of the Kindred that were her age were already happily mated and settled down and it wasn’t like she was going to start dating one of the younger warriors, right?
Wrong, whispered that voice in her head again. Or what are you doing with Lone right now?
We’re not dating—this is an arrangement of convenience, she told herself uneasily. It ends the minute we get back to the Mother Ship.
As she was thinking all this Lone was pulling on a pair of long, silky black trousers with his back to her—which gave her yet another chance to admire his hard, muscular ass—and going to the door of the bedchamber.
When he opened it, she was surprised to see Anya standing there with a floating metal serving cart.
“If it please you, sir,” she said to Lone. “I’m here with your breakfast, sent by Mistress Anarrah and her Novice, Sir Joren.”
“Just give us a moment and you can bring it in. My lady is not yet up,” Lone said to her. He shut the door gently and turned to Lizabeth. “Do you want First Meal in bed, Mistress?” he asked, smiling a little. “Or would you like to get dressed and have a seat?”
He indicated a small table with two chairs which sat by the large window by the side of the bed. Seen in the morning light, the view outside the thick glass was breathtaking—a sheer drop from the Sacred Mountain down to a misty crevasse below.
“I need to get up and get dressed” Lizabeth said. She sat up, making sure to keep the silky blue sheet up over her breasts. “But…” She bit her lip. “But I think the dress I was wearing last night is kind of ruined.”
“It’s in tatters from where I had to rip it off you to get to your breasts and pussy,” Lone acknowledged matter-of-factly. “But Joren gave me other clothes for you. I think there was a dressing gown in the pile of garments he gave me yesterday. Here it is.” He found it and held it out, like a butler holding a coat for her to put on.
“Um, would you just hand it to me?” Lizabeth asked. “I’m, uh, kind of naked here.”
“I know—I slept with you naked in my arms,” he murmured, not moving an inch. He nodded at the sheet clutched to her breasts. “You don’t have to be ashamed to show yourself to me, Lizabeth. I’ve seen all of you and you’re fucking beautiful.”
Lizabeth didn’t know what to say to this.
“You…you never used to curse,” she said at last.
“I never used to have to fight to keep you safe and never got to you hold you in my arms and make you come either, Mistress,” he pointed out. “Things are different here…and I find I’m different as well.”
“You certainly are,” Lizabeth agreed, remembering her bewildered thoughts, wondering where her old assistant had gone and who this new Lone was.
“Does it displease you?” Lone asked. “I’m afraid I can’t help it. The…Dark Twin part of me seems to be coming out. I didn’t even know it was there until we came here. I always assumed I would have been the Light Twin of my pairing if my brother had lived. But now…I’m not so sure.”
“I wondered about that,” Lizabeth admitted. “Um, could you toss me that robe now, Lone? Poor Anya probably has other people she’s supposed to bring breakfast to.”
“Come and let me put it on you,” he insisted, his gray eyes half-lidded. “I need to check your breasts and make certain you’re not needing right now, anyway.”
“I’ll tell you when—if—I have another needing attack,” she promised reluctantly. “Now toss me the robe.”
“Come and let me put it on you. Let me see you, Lizabeth.” His voice dropped to a soft growl. “I won’t be able to ask such things after we get back to the Mother Ship—I’ll never get to see your beauty again. Let me drink my fill of it now.”
The soft pleading in his voice and the hunger in his piercing gray eyes seemed to break something inside her. And the fact that he had already seen her and thought her body was beautiful bolstered her courage.
“All right,” she said at last, slipping out of bed. “If that’s really what you want.”
“You’re what I want,” Lone murmured.
His eyes scanned lazily over her nude body, making
Lizabeth blush but she raised her chin and tried to overcome the urge to cover herself with her hands. When she reached Lone, she deliberately put her back to him and slid her arms into the silky sleeves of the deep red dressing gown he held open for her.
“There now, that wasn’t so bad. Was it?” Lone murmured in her ear as he reached around her to close the gown and tie the crimson sash in a loose knot at her waist. “Thank you for letting me see you, Mistress.”
“If you really were my Novice, I’d have you punished for being so demanding,” Lizabeth said, rather breathlessly. “I’m pretty sure what you’ve been doing is called ‘topping from the bottom’ and I shouldn’t allow it.”
“Topping from the bottom, hmm?” Lone hummed thoughtfully in her ear. “I like that. Where did you learn such a term?”
“A case I had before I worked for the Kindred High Council. I represented a dominatrix who was being sued by one of her clients. I had to, er, learn quite a lot about her world in order to prepare for the case.”
“And did you win?” Lone asked, finally turning her to face him.
“Hell yes, I won.” Lizabeth arched an eyebrow at him. “I don’t play to lose—you should know that by now, Lone.”
“I most certainly do. It’s one of the things I admire about you, Mistress.” He smiled. “Would you like to have a seat at the table and I’ll let Anya in with the First Meal things?” He indicated the small, ornately carved table beside the window again.
“Thank you—I will.” Lizabeth sat and Lone opened the door again, inviting the Friezen woman inside this time.
“Thank you, kind sir,” she said, nodding at him as she pushed the floating cart over to Lizabeth. “If you please, madam, be careful—these dishes are hot,” she said as she started unloading the contents of the cart.
“There’s nothing alive or grown in dung, is there?” Lizabeth asked apprehensively as two large shiny, gold, domed dishes were placed on the table—one for her and one for Lone, apparently.
Instructing the Novice Page 15