by Jordyn White
“Because she’s different, Mom.”
“Oh, no,” she says, her eyes sharp on me. “Don’t you do that. Don’t you try telling me how special she is.”
“But, she is.”
“Are you in love with this girl?”
“It’s too soon for that.”
“Jesus, okay.” She’s closing her eyes and shaking her head. “Okay, okay. I just—” She raises her hands helplessly. “I can’t.”
I’m reminded of her breakdown over the letter from the lawyer and hope she’s not heading there again. “Mom, it’s all right.”
She scrambles to gather her half-eaten sandwich, crumpling it inside its paper wrapping. Picking up her nearly full carton of fries, she tosses both into the bag.
“Mom—”
“This is insane.” She stands and grabs the bag, clutching it at her side. “Why are you doing this?”
I stand, reaching out to her. “I can’t help it.”
“God,” she says spinning away from me and heading toward the garbage can. “Fuck.” She tosses the bag in.
“Mom, I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
She spins, her eyes fire. “She’s the niece of the man who killed my husband.” She marches back to me. “Your father!”
“She’s not the one who did it!”
She pinches her eyes shut and dives her hands into her hair.
“It was an accident, Mom. A horrible, horrible accident, but no one meant to hurt anybody.”
She drops her hands, glaring at me.
“I’m not trying to hurt you either.”
She exhales hard, grabs her purse from the table, and hitches it over her shoulder. She levels me a cold look. “Well, you have.”
She marches out of the garage and I let her go.
It kills me that I just caused my mother so much grief. And about this. I can’t honestly blame her, can I? Accident or not, I can’t really blame her. I can hope she just needs to cool down and get used to the idea. But is that unrealistic, given the situation?
If I had ended it Thanksgiving Day like I intended to, then this wouldn’t have happened. I knew it could come to this, and yet I kept pursuing her anyway. I flew all the way to California knowing what it would do to my mother. If I’d just stayed away from Corrine to start with, my mother wouldn’t be hurting right now and I never would’ve known what I was missing.
I’m standing at a crossroads. Do I really, really want to pursue a relationship I know is bringing my family’s tragedy back with such force?
If I’m going to turn back, now’s the time. It’s only going to get more difficult, the longer this goes on.
Standing here staring at the open door my mom just exited, I wish I had the answer to just one question. How bad is this? Does she only need to cool off and get used to the idea, or am I ultimately going to have to choose between my family and Corrine?
Which leads me to the next question. What would I do, if it really came to that?
Chapter 18
Corrine
I’m on my way to Swan Pointe to see my cousins. It’s only been a week since New Year’s, so I normally wouldn’t drive back down so soon. I’d probably wait until our monthly cousins dinner at the end of the month. But Connor sent me a vague text about me needing to be at his place for dinner tonight, I don’t know why. But ultimately I was willing. My girlfriends and I were talking about maybe going to the movies tonight, which would have been fun, but it’s always fun to see my cousins too.
When I walk through the front door of Connor and Whitney’s house, they’re sitting in the living room with Lizzy and Brett. Lizzy had told me Little Max is with his mother this weekend, so I know not to look for him. I saw Rayce’s car out front, but he’s not the room.
Upon my arrival, Connor grins. “There she is!”
“Have you been waiting on me?”
“Not exactly,” Connor says, “but we have news.” He and Whitney grin at one another, which honestly they do half the time anyway, the dopey little lovebirds. I smile and roll my eyes, plopping on the chair. Isn’t it funny how driving can make you tired, but once you get out of the car you just want to sit and rest anyway?
“You tell her,” Whitney says.
Connor looks at me, his face all lit up. “We’re getting married the weekend before Valentine’s Day.”
I look at Lizzy, who’s snuggled up on the couch next to Brett. They clearly already know this little bit of news. She just shrugs as if to say, You know Connor, but she’s smiling.
I look back to Connor and Whitney. “Of this year?”
“Yes,” Whitney says, “but we have it all worked out. He has this friend in Cabo San Lucas who’s going to let us use his house. It’s gorgeous. And massive.”
“Yeah, we could have a ton of people there if we wanted to,” he says, “but we want to keep it small.”
“We actually came up with this idea on New Year’s Eve, but didn’t want to say anything to anybody until we knew it would work. We went down yesterday to check it out,” Whitney says.
“How long of a flight is that?” I ask.
“Just a couple hours,” Connor says, as if it’s nothing to fly down to Cabo San Lucas in an afternoon. Of course, for him, it really isn’t.
“It’s sooo pretty there!” Whitney says.
“We’re going to fly people down in my plane, and maybe charter another one if we need to. People who want to can stay a few nights there. He’s got plenty of room, and doesn’t mind.”
“But for our honeymoon, Connor and I are going on his boat down the coast.”
“I’ve been dying to show her the Mexican Rivera.”
“Well, wow!” I grin and get up to give them hugs. “That’s fantastic! Congratulations, you guys.”
“I finally get a sister!” Lizzy says as I’m hugging Whitney. “You know, officially.”
I grin. Lizzy has been calling Whitney her sister almost since Connor brought her home. After I give Connor an enthusiastic hug and settle back down in the chair, they continue to tell me about their plans.
“We already found the caterer,” Connor says, “and they’ll handle the cake. My friend throws lots of parties, so he hooked us up with someone who’s going to do a little bit of decorating.”
“But the place is so beautiful,” Whitney says, “it really doesn’t need much.”
“His house is right on the ocean,” he continues. “Really top-notch.”
“Sounds like you have it all figured out,” I say.
“I still need to arrange to ship my boat down there so it’ll be waiting for us once the reception is over.”
“How long will you to be gone?”
“A week at least,” he says. “Maybe two, depending on what’s going on at the resort. We’re still working out the details.”
“It’ll be fine,” Lizzy says. “Especially now that we have Mitchell helping us.” He’s the executive assistant they hired not too long ago.
“So, clear your calendar,” Whitney says. “Everyone gets to bring a guest. Well, Lizzy gets to bring two, since they have Little Max.”
“I don’t know about that,” Brett says, giving a sexy smile to Lizzy. “We may leave little buddy with his mom for this one.”
I raise my brows at Connor. “Any guest?”
He smiles. “I already cleared it with Rayce.”
“You did? Really?”
He nods. “Yep. He says he’s fine with it.”
I clasp my hands to my chest, and Lizzy and Whitney laugh at me. Oh man, Mason and I in Cabo San Lucas! Assuming he can come. But we already talked about getting together that weekend anyway, since it’s so close to Valentine’s Day. Of course, since he hasn’t talked to his mom yet, we hadn’t decided if I would be going there or he’d be coming here.
But Cabo San Lucas!
I’d go anywhere for his wedding of course, but leave it to Connor to get married someplace awesome.
We talk a little bit more about flowers and invit
ations, but I keep glancing around, looking for Rayce. He could have said he didn’t want Mason at a family event, and I would have gone along with that. I want to thank him for his support.
Finally Connor says, “He’s in the game room.”
“Of course. How did I not know that?”
I get up and head into the game room. The one here at Connor’s house is set up a little differently than the one Rayce has. Instead of the man cave at Rayce’s house, this is in a room on the main floor with big, bright windows looking out into the backyard.
He’s sitting on the couch facing the television, which has Crash Bandicoot going. I come up behind him, lean over the back of the couch, and give him an enthusiastic hug.
He startles a bit, then pauses the game and puts his hand on my arms. “What’s all this?”
“I just talked to Connor. Thank you.”
“Ah. I take it he’s coming, then?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked him yet. But thank you.” I’m still squeezing him.
He laughs a little. “Don’t thank me. Thank Connor. He’s the one flying everyone down.”
“Still.”
He pats my arm. “I didn’t realize it’d mean that much to you.”
“It does.” I straighten.
“Well, good. I’m glad you’re happy. Hey, Connor’s taking forever. Grab a controller and play with me.”
“Super Mario Brothers?” I come around to sit next to him, even though what I really want to do is call Mason and tell him. But I don’t want to turn Rayce down either. Besides, Mason’s working on his car right now. He said he’ll call me when he takes a break.
I can’t wait to talk to him.
By the time Connor and Whitney are starting on dinner, it starts to feel weird that I haven’t heard from Mason. Maybe he’s really into the car he’s working on. I know time can get away from him. Still, though. I’m anxious to talk to him, so instead of waiting, I send him a text.
Me: How’s it going? I have exciting news!
By the time we’re finishing dinner and I still haven’t heard from him, I start to worry. It’s that vague kind of worry, where you envision car crashes and ambulances, all while the more rational side of you knows everything is probably fine.
As soon as I get home, I call.
He answers right away. “Hi. Sorry for not replying before.”
“What’s wrong?” His tone of voice is making car crashes and ambulances seem a more likely scenario than I thought.
“I talked to Mom.”
I bite my lip, not liking the sound of this. “I take it things didn’t go well.”
“No, but...” His word trails off, and there’s a long silence.
My heart is beating nervously in my chest. “But what?”
“I’m hoping she just needs some time.”
God, I feel terrible. “How bad was it?”
There’s another long pause. It’s not like him to do this. He’s making me nervous. “Pretty bad,” he finally says.
“Mason, I’m so sorry.” My throat is getting tight and my heart is pounding unpleasantly.
“She needs time.” He doesn’t sound good. He doesn’t sound right. “I’m just going to give her some time.”
He sounds so awful. I’m starting to feel selfish. Maybe he really shouldn’t be going through all this for me. Especially considering my situation.
“Do you... want to stop?” I ask, my heart sinking in fear of his answer.
“I want to give her some time.”
“Okay,” I say, uncertain.
“Hey,” he says gently. “You don’t need to feel bad. This is between me and my mother.”
But it takes two to be in a relationship. Maybe I should end it myself, and put him out of his misery. But I guess I really am selfish, because I can’t bring myself to say anything like that. “I hate that you’re hurting. I hate that she’s hurting.”
“This isn’t your fault, Corrine.”
Isn’t it?
“Let’s just give her some time, okay? Hey, tell me your exciting news.”
I huff out a humorless laugh. “I don’t think now’s a good time for exciting news.” Besides, everything feels so up in the air. Are we still getting together in a couple weeks? I’m afraid to ask. Suddenly Connor’s wedding feels so far away. Will Mason still be in my life by then?
“Look,” he says. “I knew going into this things were going to get complicated.”
“I just... I want her to be okay.”
“Yeah. Me too.” He pauses for a moment, then says, a bit lighter, “She probably will be. Okay? Listen, it’ll help me feel better if you tell me your news. You have me curious.”
I chew on my lip a moment, wishing I could see his face. It’s so hard to know what’s really going on over the phone. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” And he does sound it. “We can’t dwell on this right now. Let’s think about something happier.”
“Well, if you’re sure.”
“Come on. Spill it already.” His voice sounds better and better all the time.
“Okay.” I take a deep breath, trying to reset my emotions, then dive in. “Connor and Whitney are getting married the weekend before Valentine’s Day.”
“Like, next month?”
I smile, feeling better as the tone of his voice continues to improve. Maybe it’ll be okay. Maybe he’s right that his mom just needs time. Rayce was able to come around. Though, it’s so much worse for Mason’s mom.
“Yeah, I know,” I say in answer. “That was my reaction too. It’s only six weeks from now. But honestly, for someone like Connor, that’s a lot of lead time. I was a little surprised Whitney’s on board with it, though. She’s told me she likes that Connor’s brought out her impulsive side, but, I mean. It’s a wedding. That’s a big deal.”
“Yeah.”
“But they seem to have it figured out. Rayce says he’s just glad they’re doing it before the on-season starts. He wasn’t happy when he found out about Lizzy’s wedding date. Right in the middle of summer.”
“Is that going to put them in a bind?”
“Eh. They have good managers. It’s not like they can’t take a vacation. Especially thanks to Connor. He brought on this new executive assistant who works for all three of them, but who’s actually there so Connor can go on his little jaunts more.”
“He really is restless, isn’t he?”
I laugh. “Oh no, this is Connor settled down. You should’ve seen him before he met Whitney.”
He laughs too, and it makes my heart light. Maybe it’ll all be okay.
“But here’s the cool part. They’re getting married in Cabo San Lucas, and they have a short guest list. Mainly immediate family. A couple of friends. I’m invited, of course, and I get to bring a guest.”
And here’s another one of those pauses. Okay, I don’t know where we are now. I really don’t. I start to ramble out of nerves.
“I’d love to bring you. And Cabo San Lucas. Talk about ocean, you’d love it there.”
He laughs, and I feel a little better. I hate how I’m hanging on every little thing, but the whole situation has me on edge.
“Well... Look, the last thing I want to do is create drama at another family event.”
“You wouldn’t. I talked to Rayce and he’s fine with you coming.” I had already told Mason about my first conversation with Rayce. “He really does seem to be doing better with it. So that wouldn’t be a problem.”
“Well, that’s good.” He still sounds doubtful. “What if Rayce thinks he’s okay with it, but he really isn’t? I don’t want to do anything to ruin Connor’s wedding.”
I open my mouth to protest, starting to panic that Mason might really be pulling away, but he continues.
“Maybe when I come in a few weeks, we can get together with your family once?”
I exhale silently, relieved that he still plans on coming. I know I’m being selfish. I know. But I need to see him again.
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“That’ll give us a chance to get past our first meeting. If it goes well, I’ll go to Cabo San Lucas with you.”
I grin and say quickly, “Deal.”
She probably just needs time, I tell myself, hoping it’s true.
Chapter 19
Corrine
Over the next week, things are almost normal between us. We talk and text like usual, but Mason hasn’t brought up his mother, and I haven’t asked him. I’m trying to let him take the lead. But the other thing that hasn’t happened yet? He hasn’t booked a flight to come here.
Today, I find out why.
“How are things going with the renovations?” I ask. I’m lying on the grass under the huge Ash in front of Old Main, waiting for my next class to start. My last class of the week. My legs are bent and crossed at the knees, one foot bobbing in the air as we talk. There’s no breeze right now, so the leaves on the branches above me are still.
“I just talked to him today. They’re starting on the painting Monday. It should be done by the end of the week.”
“Oh good. You’ll be able to inspect it when you come, then.”
“Well,” his voice doesn’t sound good. My foot stops its bobbing. “I wanted to talk to you about that.”
“Okay.” My skin is crawling. A few leaves flutter lightly, then stop.
“I think it’s too soon for me to go back out there.”
What’s that mean?
“I talked with my mom earlier and... I’m still hoping she just needs time, but I think if she knows I’m going out there, it will just make things worse right now.”
Is that the real reason? Is he breaking up with me? Because if he is, he should just do it.
“Okay.” I hate that I’m too afraid to come right out and ask him if that’s what this is because I don’t want him to say yes.
“But I’ll make it up to you. I’ll go to the wedding with you. No matter what.”
I thought he wanted to visit with my cousins again first, but I don’t say anything about that. I’m not throwing that wrench in the works too. “I don’t... want you to feel obligated,” I say, which is true, even though I really want him to come. Even though I’m so not ready for this to be over yet.