by Li Rui
Tianzhu took a basket out of the cart and took some stuff out of it. Tianzhu went back into the tomb. Tianzhu sprinkled the five kinds of grain around the coffin, placed several coins at the head of the coffin, and lit several sticks of incense, which he placed in a bowl in front of the coffin. He also lit a sesame-oil lamp. The lamp, once lit, illumined Uncle Gimpy’s coffin and the tomb.
Tianzhu said, Humi, Tiecheng, Laofan, you three seal up the opening. Tianzhu looked at Erhei and said, Erhei, stop digging. Rest assured, we gave Uncle Gimpy a good funeral, nothing that would make him feel uncomfortable.
Me, Tiecheng, and Laofan piled up the stones, leaving a space the size of a fist in the piled wall. Tianzhu then picked up a purple-footed red rooster and walked over. Tianzhu shoved its head in the hole, and then slapped its rear end twice to push it through.
Tianzhu asked, Did all the gravediggers come out?
Standing behind him, we all said Yes.
Tianzhu said, Seal it up.
We sealed up that last hole. We also set three flagstones in front of the tomb to serve as a table. Tianzhu took out some spirit money and lit it. The flames turned the yellow paper into black ash. Something became nothing.
Tianzhu looked at Uncle Gimpy’s tomb. He looked at the paper turning to black ashes. Tianzhu said, Uncle Gimpy, we apologize for not preparing anything for you. You have no children. You have no relatives. There’s no one to dress in mourning for you, cry for you, spread a funeral banner for you, or break a basin for you. Nothing. We’re sorry, Uncle Gimpy. Uncle Gimpy, we won’t see you anymore, we have nothing for you. You liked to listen to me sing, so I’ll sing a little for you, Uncle Gimpy.
Tianzhu sang:
Wearing a crown of jade and phoenix bun,
Dressed in royal robes of eight treasures,
The brocade gown tight at the waist,
Jade ornaments tinkle as you move with ladylike steps.
Tianzhu cried,
My grandfather celebrates his birthday this morning.
Hundreds of officials, civil and military, pay their respects.
Innumerable fine carriages and horses arrive at the mansion,
Music of flute and pipe last all the way till dawn.
Tianzhu knelt to Uncle Gimpy and said, Uncle Gimpy, Uncle Gimpy, and then broke down in fitful sobbing.
Someone said, Tianzhu! Tianzhu! Don’t cry. Something’ll happen. Look—Erhei is running away!
Tianzhu didn’t listen. Tianzhu kept on crying.
I turned and looked and saw that Erhei had run a long way off. Erhei pulled the cart by himself, running along that road of yellow earth, farther and farther and farther until he disappeared from sight.
Erhei went crazy!
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The green one is gone the green one is gone the green one is gone I want to find the green one I want to find the green one I want to find the green one
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But the Second Platoon Leader was waiting for me at the commune. I had been wanting to make it clear to her, I had been wanting to make it clear to her. The moment I saw him, I knew he was behind it. His damned shoes were worn out. But she didn’t seem to hear a word I said. She said she wanted to tell me one thing. Was this any motherfucking time for that? The Second Platoon Leader was waiting for me at the commune and you want to tell me one thing. Tell me what it is you wanted to say?
That woman! Damn, you’ll never guess in a million motherfucking years what that woman really wants. I had to tell her. I knew there was no point in trying to be motherfucking clear with a woman. How did she know that the Second Platoon Leader was waiting for me at the commune? Doesn’t she know who the Second Platoon Leader is? The Second Platoon Leader is Zhou, who is head of a section. Doesn’t she know that? There’s no point in thinking you can make it motherfucking clear to her. I handed the card to her. I said, Nuanyu, here! She said, What’s this? There was no damned way to make it clear to her. I said, Haven’t you been waiting for the sun to rise in the west? This is the divorce certificate you asked for! She looked at me, cried, and said, Why are you such a fool? There’s something I have to tell you. I knew I hadn’t been clear with her. But I had to try. The Second Platoon Leader was waiting for me at the commune. He was standing next to the Second Platoon Leader, a book bag on his back, his shoes falling apart. I knew he was behind it all. I knew something was going to happen. Before they entered, I was lying on my bed counting sparrows, one, two, three, four, five … the sparrows were hopping in the courtyard, but I couldn’t get a motherfucking clear count. I started again, one, two, three … when they came in. He stood there, his shoes falling apart. I knew something was going to happen. If something else happened, I’d still have to deal with it. My woman was there, how could I not go? I said, Nuanyu, don’t cry. Listen to me. I’m not the Commune Head Liu I once was. I’m now just Liu Changsheng. I’m just me. Liu Changsheng wasn’t always called Liu Changsheng. Liu Changsheng was originally called No Good Liu. I wore a pair of worn-out shoes, threadbare cotton clothes, and stood facing Political Commissar Wang, who asked me, What’s your name? I said, No Good Liu. Political Commissar Wang smiled and said, That’s not a good name; henceforth, you’ll be called Liu Changsheng. The revolutionary troops want always to be victorious in battle. From then on, I followed Political Commissar Wang, my name was Liu Changsheng, and later I became Director Liu. In those days, the Second Platoon Leader was just the Second Platoon Leader. That was before Zhou, the current Director of the Organizational Department of the County Political Committee, was the Second Platoon Leader. She was still crying. Crying, she said, Why are you such a fool? I still have something to tell you. I knew there is damn well no motherfucking point in trying to make things clear to a woman. I said, Nuanyu, first hear what I have to say, the Second Platoon Leader is Director Zhou, who conveyed to me the directive of the County Party Committee and the County Revolutionary Committee, that I am no longer commune head. They made him the motherfucking acting head. Him and his worn-out shoes—they made him the damned acting head in my place! They said I’m the model case for purifying class ranks in the county. They set up a special group to examine me and ordered me to the county seat for study and to undergo investigation. Fortunately it was Second Platoon Leader who announced it. Second Platoon Leader was my old commanding officer when I was with the County Regiment. I said, Second Platoon Leader, the marriage laws stipulate that a person must be eighteen to get married. I’m thirty-eight and I can’t divorce and remarry? Is divorcing and remarrying the new trend in class struggle? If divorcing and remarrying has become the new trend in class struggle, then how many motherfucking new trends are there in all of China? Second Platoon Leader said, Comrade Liu, you are a Party member and must obey the organization, that’s a principle. I said, Nuanyu, do you understand? I’m a Party member and have devoted my entire life to the revolution. I’m a Party member, so I obey the organization, that’s a principle. Principles are principles. A principle is something you can’t violate, even if it means death. I obey the organization, I obey principles, but I’m not the person I used to be. I’m not Commune Head Liu; I have to attend a special study group. I’m not Commune Head Liu; I’m now Liu Changsheng, I’m not anything, I’m just myself. But principles are principles. A principle is something you can’t violate, even if it means death. A principle is something that can’t be violated by my former self or my present self. If I violate a principle, I’m not a Party member and my lifetime devotion to the revolution has been for nothing. Do you understand that or not? I had to come and tell you, right? My woman is here, had I any other motherfucking choice but to come?
She said, I understand. You’ve told me the truth, now I want to tell you the truth too. I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but you didn’t let me. She said, I’ve got a baby in my belly, and it’s not yours.
Damn, you’ll never guess in a million motherfucking years what that woman really wants. You want a woman heart and soul and with heart and soul you think she is yours
. Then she tells you she is pregnant and that the motherfucking thing isn’t yours! Then I said, Whose woman are you? Whose kid is it? Damn it, why didn’t you fucking tell me earlier? Who else have you slept with besides me? How many guys have you slept with? Tell me. Damn it, why didn’t you fucking tell me earlier? I’m not the commune head; I’m not the person I used to be. You’re pregnant, so you’re not who you once were. I even gave up being commune head for you and damn it, you tell me you’re going to have a baby and it isn’t mine. What the hell is this? Who are you really? Whose woman are you? Speak up!
She looked at me and said, I wanted to tell you, but you wouldn’t let me. I don’t know who you are, but I know who I am. My name is Qin Nuanyu and I came to Stunted Flats as a beggar fleeing famine. My little brother died here. My baby girl Little Cui died here. I’m no one’s woman, I’m my own woman. My baby is no one’s but mine. She looked at me again and said, I have one more thing to say that I haven’t told you. I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m leaving Stunted Flats tomorrow and going home. I’m my father’s. I’m my mother’s. I’m my own. I belong at my old home.
I know motherfucking well you better not expect a woman to understand. You’ll never figure out what she wants in a million years!
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The people who cared for me have all left, all gone home. The people I cared for have all died and are buried in the yellow earth.
A large road of yellow earth twists and turns, long and far. Yellow earth, blue sky; I’m over here, they are over there. Blue sky, yellow earth; they are over there, I am over here.
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There was nothing on the dirt road. Just the two of us.
He was dragging along behind me. He said, Brother, did you really see it?
I said, Yes.
He said, What if you saw wrong?
I said, I’m not mistaken.
He said, What did Dad give Uncle Gimpy?
I said, Crackers, a box of crackers.
He said, What happens if you saw wrong?
I said, Do you want to eat or not?
He pouted and said, Brother, there’s nothing here. Let’s go home. If Dad finds out we ate Uncle Gimpy’s crackers, he’ll beat the heck out of us.
I said, I’m going, even if you don’t.
We walked. There was nothing on the dirt road. Just the two of us.
He twisted his face and started to cry. He’s as ugly as she is when he cries. I clenched my fists and saw Erhei.
I said, Second Dog, Second Dog, don’t cry. Erhei’s coming.
Second Dog stopped crying. Second Dog saw Erhei. Erhei was pulling a cart all alone, walking from a distance. There was nothing on the dirt road. Just Erhei walking, and the two of us.
Second Dog said, Brother, wasn’t Erhei lost? How did he get back? Does he know that there’s a box of crackers with Uncle Gimpy?
I said, Second Dog, you’re right; Erhei wasn’t gone, he has been looking for Uncle Gimpy.
There was nothing on the dirt road. Just Erhei walking, and the two of us. The adults all said Erhei was gone, Erhei was crazy. They said he went to Gula Valley, Nanliu Village, Wuren Flats, that he went to the eastern slope and Laoling Gully. They said Erhei would go around the world and never come back, not back to Stunted Flats.
Second Dog said, Brother, didn’t all the adults say Erhei was gone, that he was crazy? But isn’t Erhei okay?
There was nothing on the dirt road, just Erhei walking over there.
I said, Second Dog, the adults don’t know Erhei. All they know is how to take a whip and beat Erhei. They’re all bad. They know nothing but beating Erhei with a whip.
He said, Brother, let’s not use a whip, let’s not hit Erhei, let’s not be bad people.
I said, Right. Second Dog, remember, we won’t be bad people when we grow up, we won’t hit Erhei.
He said, Brother, we’re all cripples, so we won’t grow up.
There was nothing on the dirt road, just Erhei getting closer and closer.
He said, Brother, have Erhei give us a ride.
The two of us shouted, Erhei! Erhei! Erhei!
There was nothing on the dirt road. Erhei lifted his head. Erhei saw me and Second Dog. There was nothing on the dirt road, just Erhei getting closer and closer.
He laughed and said, Brother, let’s get on the cart.
Erhei just took off with the two of us. There was nothing on the dirt road. Just me, Second Dog, and Erhei.
He said, Brother, where are we going?
I said, I don’t know. We’re going with Erhei.
He said, Brother, Erhei’s not going back to the village, Erhei’s turning.
I said, I can see, Second Dog.
He said, Brother, let’s not go home, let’s just go with Erhei!
I said, Okay, we’ll go with Erhei.
He laughed and said, Brother, Erhei runs really fast!
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Wu-wa-wa-wa-wa…. Ah-wa-wa-wa-wa…. Ya-wa-wa-wa-wa….