by Peter Martin
‘I want my things ...’ she repeated. ‘Can I come in or what?’
‘Up until a few days ago it was your home.’ He pointed at Ryan, standing behind Sarah with a smirk on his face. ‘Not him. He’s stays outside.’
Ryan moved forward flexing his fingers, but Sarah stopped him, saying, ‘It’s all right, Ryan, wait in the car – he won’t cause me any trouble.’
Billy didn’t answer, but stepped aside for her to enter and slammed the door.
In the bedroom he watched her take the large suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and fill it with her clothes. She placed her toiletries from the dressing table into another bag. Finally, she marched out on to the landing.
Downstairs she hesitated, looking in the kitchen cupboards and drawers, but didn’t take anything.
‘Right, that’s it. I’ll be off.’
‘Suit yourself,’ he said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Then, looking him straight in the face, she said, ‘I’m sorry, Billy, but I made a terrible mistake. I should never have married you, I realise that now. I was too young. It was never going to work.’
‘Oh, and I suppose it will this time, with him?’ He pointed in the direction of the door. ‘You say you should never have married me, but aren’t you’re doing the same again?’
‘I’m not.’
‘Rushing into another relationship. Your feelings for him might fizzle out if someone else takes your fancy.’
‘I guessed you’d have a horrible comment to make.’
‘What do you expect? You’ve been cheating on me for God knows how long. But, Sarah, what do you see in him? Why … he’s as dull as dishwater.’
‘No, he isn’t. Anyway, I love him.’
‘Oh, sure you do. But intellectually you’re streets apart. It’ll drive you nuts, if you have to come down to his level.’
‘I’m not the person you think I am … far from it. And I’ll never live up to who you want me to be, especially when it comes to writing. But there’s more to life than scribbling rubbish down on a piece of paper.’
Billy shook his head. To hear her say that was very disappointing.
‘Anyway, once I’ve settled in with Ryan, I’ll be coming back for the kids.’
‘Have you any idea what this will do to them?’
‘Yes, I have, but it’s no good, you can’t bring them up on your own, you’re at work all day. And besides they’re mine, and every child needs a mother.’
‘I don’t see it like that.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh, just that I’m Alice’s father and God only knows who Aaron’s father is?’
‘That’s where you’re wrong, Mr Bloody-Know-It-All. Ryan is Aaron’s father and he has rights too.’
He gasped and wondered just how long this affair had been going on.
CHAPTER 18
‘You know what I’m saying, Billy.’
Eventually, having pulled himself together he replied, ‘You said Aaron resulted from a one-night stand and someone spiked your drink. And now suddenly here’s his father crawling out of the woodwork. You’ve been seeing him behind my back all along – haven’t you?’
‘Think what you like,’ she said with an uncompromising look on her face. ‘Sure, I’ve known him for a while, helped him get a job at the supermarket. He’s a good worker and I know he will be a good father and partner. Once we started working together, we got real close and that’s when I thought it only fair to tell him about his son.’
‘You cow,’ Billy spat out. ‘And when I remember all the vile remarks your father made about me!’ He shook his head in disbelief.
She ignored his comment. ‘I’m seeing a solicitor about a divorce and I want custody of the children.’
‘Well, I won’t take it lying down. I love both those kids dearly,’ Billy said with a snarl. ‘But I’ll tell you something, you’re a complete bitch.’
Sarah laughed, seeming sure he stood no chance of keeping them.
‘You’d be wasting your time trying to get custody. Me and Ryan are Aaron’s real parents, and no court will ever split two children up. Battle it out if you want, but you’ll be the one who’s hurt – and what about the money you’d waste. Give in, and we’ll come to an amicable agreement. Unconditional visitation rights to see Alice every other weekend.’
‘I can’t believe you’re doing this,’ he said.
‘It’s only what I’m entitled to.’
‘Just go, Sarah.’
‘Oh, and did I mention I’m due to half of everything, including the house?’ she said, widening her eyes.
Billy grimaced; this didn’t bear thinking about. He picked up her large suitcase, took it to the front door and threw the heavy case as far as he could towards the car. He then turned to see Sarah, her face a mask of thunder, struggling with the rest of her belongings. Ryan came out of the car and ran towards him. Sarah screamed and caught Ryan by the arm, warning him not to retaliate. For once he listened, and instead took Sarah’s suitcase and put it in the boot of the car.
‘Be seeing you,’ she hissed. ‘I’ll be in touch via my solicitor.’
‘You do that, you bitch.’
‘Now, now, temper, temper. Oh, if I were you, I’d make the most of the children while you’ve got them. Bye!’
In answer, and shaking his head, he stormed off back to the house, and slammed the door shut.
He went straight to the cabinet in the living room and poured a whisky, gulped it down, and sat down with a sigh.
Not again. His wife had gone and despite his bravado, he’d never gain custody of his kids. Why was life so cruel? Just when everything was going so well, this happens. And without his children he was nothing.
<><><>
The following morning Alice and Aaron came downstairs together holding hands, eager-eyed and ready for the day’s excursion.
‘Can we have breakfast, Daddy?’ Alice asked. ‘Where are we going today?’
‘Sit yourselves down in the kitchen and I’ll get you both a bowl of coco pops. When you’ve finished we’ll discuss how to spend the day.’
Alice pressed the television remote and they sat watching Scooby-Doo, crunching away at their cereal and slurping strawberry milk shakes, unaware of the trauma they’d soon have to endure.
‘Daddy, is Mummy ever coming back?’ Alice asked suddenly.
‘Of course, she’ll only be away for a few days,’ Billy told her.
‘Me miss Mummy,’ Aaron said tearfully.
‘I know you do – so do I. But her friend is ill, and she has to look after him. Don’t worry; you’ll see her soon. When her friend’s better.’
‘I thought it was her friend’s mummy who was ill, Daddy,’ Alice pointed out.
‘Yes, sweetheart, it is.’
‘But you said she had to look after him.’ She hesitated, looking at her father for an answer before adding, ‘And, last night you said Mummy had to care for your friend’s mother.’
‘Oh, so I did, I’m getting mixed up that’s all.’
Billy felt grateful for the breathing space when Aaron changed the subject, saying, ‘Why Mummy not come home? I want Mummy.’
‘I know, we all do. But her friend is very upset. And your mum knows I’ll look after you, while she’s away.’
Their questions kept coming … why this, why that, until both children were sobbing. Alice asked, ‘Is she staying away because of us?’
‘No. You can visit, or even stay for a while.’
‘Daddy come too?’ Aaron suggested.
By the time they were ready, Billy’s nerves were shattered. Having told one lie another followed until the whole story had little bearing on the truth. In future, he’d have to explain about Ryan but not yet.
So, Aaron’s suggestion that they go swimming was a godsend.
For the immediate future Billy intended to savour every minute with his kids as if it were his last.
<><><>
Over the next week Sarah
didn’t visit the house or try to see the children. But the following Saturday he received a letter from her solicitor, applying for custody and filing for divorce. Now he had to arrange a meeting with his own solicitor.
Mr Dixson, who’d helped him with other legal matters, was sympathetic. He stated that while he’d taken care of the children single-handed for several weeks, guardianship would normally be given to the mother.
He wouldn’t see Aaron at all and contact with Alice would be limited. Although he intended to provide for Alice’s needs, future spending would have to be controlled, at least for a while. Mr Dixson’s suggestion that they come to an amicable agreement seemed to be the only way. He only hoped a fair settlement could be reached.
<><><>
The day the divorce was made absolute, almost six months to the day Sarah had left him, he had to hand the children over. They cried their eyes out, unable to grasp no longer living in the family home. Billy tried to console them, but it was no good.
Sarah and Ryan came over to collect them after tea.
‘Come along now,’ Sarah began. ‘Say goodbye and then you can get to know your daddy.’
How could she be so cruel after what they’d been through together?
‘Why can’t Daddy come too?’ Alice pleaded.
Billy urged his daughter to go with Sarah, saying, ‘Sorry, darling, that just isn’t possible, it has to be this way.’
‘I miss you, Daddy,’ Aaron piped up, as Sarah tried to coax him from Billy.
‘He isn’t your real daddy, don’t you understand? Ryan is your daddy,’ Sarah insisted as he cried into the crook of his arm.
‘Come along,’ – Sarah held out her hand – ‘This isn’t the time for tears.’
The children were dragged away, kicking and screaming. How Billy would have liked to intervene, but that wasn’t possible.
‘I hope you have their things together!’ Sarah shouted without looking at him.
‘I’ll fetch them,’ came his distraught reply.
Within a few seconds he returned to hear Ryan’s sniggering comment, ‘Always knew he’d see sense.’
Billy grinned to stop his tears. From the onset it had been a forgone conclusion, he was on his own and any contact with the kids would be but a blink of the eye. Back in the house, he sank into a deep depression.
Now he faced an empty house. He sat on his sofa, a glass of watered-down whisky in his hand and looked around; it didn’t seem the same room any more. Devoid of the children’s belongings and their constant chit-chat, there was no evidence they’d ever lived here.
Where had he gone wrong? Hadn’t he been a good husband and father? Bending over backwards to do everything he could for them, putting them first, never thinking of his own needs. And where had it got him? Nowhere. It sickened him. But what would he do? Would his teaching job be enough to keep him going?
<><><>
From that day on his life revolved around work. He rarely went out, apart from the odd evening with colleagues. The weekends were the worst.
Alice’s first visit was at two o’clock on Saturday afternoon. They were ten minutes late bringing her. Billy rushed to the door to let her in.
He gave her a warm smile and she smiled back. Sarah was with her and Ryan and Aaron were in the car.
‘Lovely to see you, Alice, come on in,’ he said.
She looked to her mum.
‘Go on, Alice, your dad’s dying to see you.’
She looked back at Ryan and her half-brother and waved.
‘I’ll come for her around six, Billy, all right?’
‘Yes, fine.’
Alice hugged and kissed her mother. ‘See you later, darling. Be good for your dad now.’
They went through to the living room.
‘Sit yourself down, Alice. Can I get you a drink? Lemonade used to be your favourite.’
‘Yes, thanks, Dad.’
He sat beside her, taking a sip from his own drink. ‘So, how have you been?’
‘All right.’
‘Good, are you happy with your mum and Ryan and Aaron?’
‘Yes, it’s nice. We go out a lot to the park and the cinema and we share a room, me and Aaron. Bunk beds. I’m on top. It’s fun.’
‘Oh good. Pleased to hear you’re one big happy family. School, all right?’
‘Yes, it’s good.’
‘Pleased about that. So, what shall we do? It’s raining so the park’s out. How about the cinema or one of those kid’s places where you can run around and go on the slides and play?’
‘I don’t mind, Dad.’
‘Or we can stay here and watch TV or play games. I bought a few for when you come. What do you think?’
‘Don’t know.’
‘Is Aaron all right?’
‘Yes. Ryan plays with him a lot.’
‘Good, that’s cos he’s his dad.’
‘I miss you, Dad.’
‘I miss you too, honey.’
‘I wish it could be like it was before.’
‘I know, so do I, but it never will be. We have to make the most of this afternoon together. There’s lots of things we can do together. We’ll go out to loads of places, I promise.’
‘It’s not the same without Mummy and Aaron.’
‘I know, but what we’ve got is better than not seeing each other at all. Come on, why don’t I show you the games I bought? It’ll be a laugh. I have Buckeroo, Connect 4, Frustration and a few others.’
‘Okay, Dad.’
They played for the rest of the afternoon and Alice laughed when she beat her dad.
The doorbell rang half an hour early. Alice looked disappointed. That’s nothing to what I feel, he thought.
But he tried to sound upbeat. ‘Never mind, two weeks’ time will soon come around. Have a think about where you’d like to go and send me an email, all right.’
‘Okay, I’ll look forward to it, Dad.’
‘Me too.’
Once she’d gone, he watched the car go, seeing Alice looking out of the window. He felt heartbroken and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.
As time passed his fortnightly visits from Alice more often than not were a big disappointment. He couldn’t put his finger on what was happening between them, except to say she was distant with him. Maybe because she was growing up, he didn’t know. Billy guessed the time was fast approaching when she would no longer care about him and would kick up a fuss about visiting him at all.
<><><>
Three months later, Billy waited for Alice as usual. How he looked forward to being with her. This time, however, he couldn’t dispel the sense of trepidation. Sarah had phoned wanting to talk things over, saying it might prove helpful. But helpful to whom?
Bang on two o’clock, the old Ford Escort stopped outside the house. Billy watched as the family of four alighted; it brought a tear to his eye to watch the kids talking contentedly with Ryan.
The doorbell and then the knocker announced their arrival. He opened the door, arms wide open, expecting Alice to run to him. ‘Alice, and Aaron too; great to see you,’ he said.
But they remained on the step, shying away from him. Then to his dismay, first Aaron and then Alice took Sarah’s hand.
‘What’s wrong with you two?’
‘Don’t worry, it’s nothing.’ Sarah shrugged her shoulders. ‘They’ll be fine in a while. It’s because they don’t see you that often now. Is it all right if we all come in?’
‘I suppose,’ he said, giving Ryan a frown.
He wasn’t happy with the children’s reaction, or Sarah’s blasé attitude. So, he only saw Alice once a fortnight, but that wasn’t his fault. He wanted both the children to live permanently with him. But that had been impossible.
He led them into the living room, and against his better judgement, made them a cup of tea and an orange drink for the kids.
‘Well, isn’t this nice, playing happy families,’ Ryan said, grinning from ear to ear.
Ho
w he’d like to wipe that sarcastic grin off his face, but he said, ‘So why did you all come here? And don’t tell me it’s a social call.’
Ryan laughed again, prompting Sarah to urge him to keep quiet, and coming straight to the point, she said, ‘We’ve got a proposition for you.’
‘Oh yes, and what’s that?’
‘Well, we’re living in a small two-bedroom terraced house, and this house has three bedrooms and is much bigger. We’d like to buy it – and we’ll give you a fair price.’
Taken aback, Billy stared at her, eventually saying, ‘That’s incredible. For you to have the gall to ask that.’ He watched her face redden, and guessed there was more to come.
‘You’re on your own now,’ she reminded him. ‘Why not downsize to, say, a flat. You’d be a lot better off.’
‘I’m out of your life and now you want to bleed me dry as well.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m quite capable of making my own decisions, thank you very much. But surely to God, you’re having me on here.’
‘No, we’re deadly serious. Come on, admit it, we’d be doing you a big favour,’ Ryan said, raising his eyebrows. ‘Look on the bright side, be a bit pessimistic for a change.’
In different circumstances, he’d have laughed at the dimwit’s malapropism, but let it drop, and asked, ‘Why this house, when there are hundreds of others just as good, if not better?’
‘Simple. It’s in the ideal spot for work.’ She indicated with her head towards Ryan before continuing, ‘The kids’ schools, shopping, everything.’
‘I won’t insult you by giving you an answer. You should leave now before this gets farcical.’
Ryan sighed, glaring at Billy and moved closer, their faces only inches apart. He felt the other man’s hot breath on his face when Ryan said, ‘It would be better if you cooperated, mate. I could make your life very difficult, especially regarding Alice.’
On that subject Billy didn’t intend to cower and insisted, ‘You can’t stop me seeing her. I have my rights.’
‘Thing is we can’t force her to come and visit you, if she doesn’t want to.’
So that was it. That explained the children’s odd behaviour towards him when they arrived. His eyes went to them, but they both sat quietly gazing at their so-called parents. His heart beat faster, he felt short of breath.