“I’m going to head home and grab a couple hours of sleep, but I’ll be back after church, okay?”
Church. Rachel hadn’t even thought about what day it was. She turned to Damian. “You need to go home and get some rest before the service, too.”
Damian shook his head. “I’m not doing anything. Reverend Anderson told me to stay with you, and that they’d fill in for me.”
“Are you sure?” Rachel asked, not wanting Damian to go but also knowing he had other responsibilities.
“I’m sure.” As if to emphasize his words, Damian sat down on one of the padded seats and stretched out his legs, linking his fingers over his stomach.
“Okay, I’m going,” Serena told them. “You be sure and call if you have any news. I’m going to update the prayer chain and make sure there’s an announcement made during the service.”
“Thanks for everything, Serena,” Rachel said, tears pricking at her eyes. “You’ll never know how much it means to me.” Rachel hugged Serena once more before she left.
Before sitting down, Rachel went to the nurses’ station to see if she could see Mari. She was pretty sure they’d say no, but the nurse agreed to let her have a few minutes with Mari.
She turned and through gestures let Damian know she was going in to see Mari. He nodded and smiled.
Rachel walked quietly into Mari’s room and sat in the chair near the bed, but she didn’t touch the sleeping girl, not wanting to wake her. She looked at Mari, wishing the bruises were gone, but her face was still swollen and the bruises were now a dark purple. There was hardly a place on her face that wasn’t bruised.
Thankfully the thick jacket Mari had been wearing had protected her arms and torso from being lacerated by the glass, but it hadn’t kept her bones from being broken. Rachel was sure the doctor hadn’t told her the full extent of the injuries. She wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing. Knowing what she did was hard enough, if there was more, it would be too overwhelming.
Rachel tried to pray, but every time she bowed her head and closed her eyes, the angry words she’d said earlier kept coming to the forefront. She knew she’d been wrong to lash out, and now she needed to make things right with God.
Rachel sat for a few more minutes beside Mari, thankful she seemed to be resting without pain. The drugs were no doubt helping to keep the pain at bay and sedate her enough so that she could sleep.
“Excuse me.” Rachel looked up to see a young nurse standing in the doorway. “We need to do a check on her right now. You can come back and see her in another hour or so, okay?”
Rachel nodded and stood. She touched Mari’s hand gently before leaving the room. Back in the waiting room Rachel found Damian asleep. He was sitting as she’d left him, but now his chin rested on his chest and his eyes were closed. She thought at first he was praying, but when he didn’t open his eyes at her approach and was even snoring softly, Rachel knew his exhaustion had caught up with him.
She sat down beside him and took the opportunity to enjoy being close to him, this wonderful caring man who had put everything on hold, including his own family, to be with her. Was it any wonder she loved him? It hurt so much that she couldn’t act on that love because he deserved better than what she had to offer.
Sadness crept into her heart, weighing her down. It seemed there was so much more sadness in her life than joy. She recalled Serena’s words about finding joy in the Lord rather than in people and circumstances, that if her joy was dependent on those two things it would be fleeting. And Serena was right. The things she thought would bring her joy were only bringing her sadness.
The joy of the Lord is my strength. The line of a familiar chorus ran through Rachel’s mind. She needed the Lord’s strength, and she certainly needed the joy He offered because only sadness surrounded her.
Rachel knew she shouldn’t blame God for punishing her for the sins of her youth, even all these years later. She had willfully planned to act in a way she knew was in direct contrast to what the Lord would have had her do. Rachel wondered how different her life might have been had she not slipped out of the house to go to that party that night.
Evelyn hadn’t even realized she‘d gone out. Rachel had managed to slip back into her room in the early dawn hours before her mom was up. She had disobeyed her mom and God through her actions.
But as she thought of the young woman lying beyond the swinging doors, Rachel couldn’t bring herself to wish it had never happened. Having Mari back in her life had helped to ease the pain of knowing she’d never have any other children. She’d missed most of her daughter’s life; she didn’t want to miss any more. That meant letting go of the anger and the pain, and moving forward.
*****
Damian woke to a nagging pain in his neck. His head felt like it weighed a ton, and the muscles of his neck screamed in protest when he tried to straighten. With his eyes still closed he moved his head cautiously from side to side to work out the kinks, wondering why he’d fallen asleep sitting up.
When he finally opened his eyes, memory flooded back. He was in the hospital waiting room. Damian glanced around for Rachel. He found her immediately. She sat sideways on the seat, her sock-covered feet on the seat between them. And she was watching him.
Damian suddenly felt very self-conscious. He ran his fingers through his hair, then rubbed a hand across his mouth hoping he hadn’t drooled.
“Was I snoring?” he asked, sneaking another look at Rachel.
He saw a quick smile curve her lips. “A little.”
“Sorry.” He gave his head a shake trying to clear the last cobwebs of sleep that clung to his mind. The sleep had not left him feeling overly refreshed. Weariness still blanketed him, and on top of that he felt gritty and cramped.
“How long did I sleep?”
“About half an hour.” Rachel glanced at the window behind him.
“How’s Mari doing?” Damian asked.
“She was still sleeping, but she seems to be progressing as the doctors want.”
Damian stood and lifted one shoulder and then the other to ease the muscles of his back.
“Why don’t you go home, Damian,” Rachel said softly.
He turned to her, mid-stretch. “No. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’ll be fine.”
He was so tired he wanted to believe her, but still, he wouldn’t leave her alone. “I’ll stay. Maybe I’ll go home later when Serena comes back.”
Rachel looked as if she were about to argue but apparently thought better of it.
“I am going to leave you briefly though, to grab some food and coffee from the cafeteria. Want some?”
“Yes, I’d love a coffee and maybe a Danish or something.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be back in about ten minutes.”
It was more like twenty by the time he got back. He’d made a side trip to the bathroom to splash some water on his face and straighten up a bit. The waiting room was empty when Damian returned, coffee and Danish in hand.
Figuring Rachel was in with Mari for her hourly visit, Damian settled himself on the seat he’d vacated early and set the food down next to him. He worked one of the cups of coffee free from the holder and carefully peeled back the plastic lid.
He inhaled the rich scent, hoping the coffee tasted as good as it smelled. A first tentative taste revealed that the aroma had not lied. Damian took a larger sip and leaned back in the seat, careful to not spill the hot beverage.
Ten minutes later Rachel reappeared. He could see the tension in her body as she headed towards him.
“How is she?”
“Sleeping.” Rachel sat down. “They said she woke up for a few minutes about half an hour ago. All her vitals continue to look good, so they’re thinking she’s turned the corner.”
“That’s good news. A real answer to prayer.” Damian set his cup down and freed hers from the holder and held it out to her.
“Thanks,” Rachel said and took a sip. “Hmmm, not bad for hos
pital coffee.”
“Certainly better than the stuff out of that machine.” Damian gestured to the vending machine that sat in the waiting room.
They drank their coffee and ate the Danish in silence for the next several minutes.
“I’m thinking about popping down to see Jace. Would you be okay for a while?”
“Of course,” Rachel answered immediately. She gathered up their empty cups and napkins.
“Do you think they’ll let him see Mari? If he wants to?”
“I’ll talk to them and see if he could go in for a few minutes. I’m hoping she’s going to start staying awake for longer periods of time. She’s been sleeping so much.” A frown creased Rachel’s forehead.
“Her body is healing, Rachel. That probably takes a lot of energy.”
Rachel nodded. “I’m just concerned about her lack of memory. What if it’s permanent?”
Damian reached out and laid a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “Don’t borrow worry from the future, Rachel. Let’s just see what the doctor says once they’ve had a chance to evaluate her.”
“I’ve always borrowed worry from the future, Damian. You should know that by now.”
Damian smiled. “Yeah, but I’m reminding you not to do that.”
“Okay, you’re right.” Rachel returned his smile. “I’ll try not to worry. Now go see Jace.”
Damian hesitated to leave her but really wanted to check on his brother. In the end he went, promising to be back within half an hour.
In Jace’s hospital room he found his brother standing by the window.
“Should you be out of bed?” Damian asked as he walked into the room.
Jace turned towards him. The sight of his bruised face made Damian wince.
“I’m fine. I’m better than Mari.” Jace turned back to the window.
“Do you want to see her, Jace? I asked Rachel and she said she’d try to arrange it.”
Jace didn’t answer right away but continued to stare out the window. “Yes, I’d like to see her.”
Damian debated telling him about Mari’s amnesia but decided not to. It was possible the next time she woke up she’d remember everything. Damian didn’t want to upset his brother unnecessarily.
He walked over to stand next to Jace at the window. “It’s going to be okay. Mari is stable and has woken up several times.”
Jace just nodded.
Damian worried about the shell the young man seemed to have retreated into. He hoped that seeing Mari would bring Jace back to his normal self.
They stood there for a bit longer before Damian laid a hand on Jace’s shoulder. “I’ll be back later to take you up to see Mari.”
Jace turned. “I want to see her now.”
“I’m not sure if they’ll let you, Jace. I haven’t even been in to see her. Plus, I don’t know if your doctor would want you gallivanting all over the hospital.”
“I’m just here for observation, Damian. There’s nothing wrong with me. Not like Mari. I need to see her.”
“Okay, let me see what I can do.”
Damian spent the next thirty minutes talking with Rachel and the doctors on duty. Rachel willingly agreed to let Jace see Mari, but the doctors took a bit more convincing. In the end they agreed to allow Jace a quick visit.
Rachel went in with Jace while Damian stayed in the waiting room. He wanted to go with them, but he understood why they were restricting visitors. Instead he sat on the chairs in the waiting room, the same one he’d been occupying for what felt like forever.
Damian bowed his head and prayed the visit would go well, that Mari would wake up and recognize both Rachel and Jace. He kept his head bent and continued to pray for everyone involved in the situation.
“She didn’t know me.” The soft anguished words jerked Damian from his prayer.
He looked up to find Jace standing in front of him. Damian quickly stood. “She was awake?”
“Yes, she woke up just after we got in there, but she didn’t recognize me or Rachel.” Despair was starkly etched on Jace’s face.
Damian took his brother’s elbow and drew him down to sit. “It’s going to be okay, Jace. The doctors think it’s because she experienced some swelling in her brain.”
“You knew about this?” Jace asked.
“Yes. I decided not to tell you in case she woke up and was fine. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“What have I done?” Jace buried his face in his hands. “What have I done?”
Damian laid his arm across Jace’s shoulders. “It was an accident, Jace. You didn’t do this on purpose. It was an accident.”
Jace shrugged off his arm and stood. “I want to go home.”
“The doctor said you’re being discharged at eleven. Mom and Dad are on their way to pick you up.”
“I’m going back to my room,” Jace said as he headed for the elevator.
Damian went with him, wanting to make sure he got there without mishap.
“You don’t need to stay. Go back to Rachel.” Jace laid down on the bed and turned to face the window, presenting Damian with his back.
Mike and Sharon arrived and interrupted the silence.
“Ready to go, son?” Mike asked.
Jace got off bed and shoved his hands in his pockets, his gaze fixed on the ground. He shrugged.
Damian laid a hand on Jace’s shoulder. “Everything is going to be fine, Jace. Don’t worry about it.”
“We have to trust that Mari’s going to be okay,” Sharon said. “It was an accident, Jace. We’re just grateful no one was killed.”
Jace looked up quickly, then lowered his gaze again. Still he didn’t say anything.
“We’re going to take him home as soon as we get his stuff together and get the discharge papers,” Mike said. “Give us a call if there’s any news.”
“I will,” Damian assured them. “I’ll be going home in a bit to make some phone calls and grab a little sleep.”
“Sounds good,” Sharon said and gave Damian hug before he left.
Damian found Rachel back in the waiting room when he returned. She had a worried look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” Damian asked when he sat down next to her. “Has Mari taken a turn for the worse?”
Rachel shook her head. “She’s actually doing better. It’s her memory. She still doesn’t remember anything.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Well, no, she remembers the basics. When she woke up this time she said she was thirsty. It’s the more personal stuff she can’t remember. Like her name. And mine.”
“What did the doctor say?” Damian wanted to pull Rachel into his arms and hold her, help her shoulder the worry. He settled instead for laying his hand on hers where it rested on the seat between them.
“The doctor wasn’t there. The nurse said he’d be making his rounds a little later. He’ll talk to me then.” Rachel sighed and used the hand he wasn’t holding to rub her eyes. “I’ve got to contact her aunt. She’s her legal guardian and should be here to make any decisions.”
“I’d forgotten about that. I just assumed since you were her mother…”
“I’m her birth mother, but I don’t really have any right to make decisions. I asked the nurse to find her purse so I can look and see if her aunt’s number is in there.”
“Do you want me to make the call? Would it be easier on you?” Damian wanted to do all he could to ease her burden.
“Would you mind? I don’t really want to have to explain who I am. Mari never said if she’d told her aunt she was coming to find me. Probably not what the woman needs to hear along with the news of Mari’s accident.”
“Get me the number, and I’ll make the call.”
“Thanks.” Rachel glanced at him. “You look tired. I think you need to go home and get some rest.”
“I’m going to go when Serena gets back. But I won’t be gone for long,” Damian assured her.
Rachel looked at him, a smile lifting the corners of her
mouth. “You’ve been such a big help, Damian. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”
A thought sprang to his mind, but Damian didn’t voice it. Instead he said, “You don’t have to repay me, Rachel. I wish we were spending time together under different circumstances, but if you need me, this is where I want to be.”
“I do need you. Your support has been incredible.” Rachel started to lean forward, then stopped. They were close enough for Damian to see the black flecks in Rachel’s brown eyes. He could also see the uncertainty there.
Unsure of what was going through her mind, Damian didn’t move or say anything, just waited for her to make the next move.
Suddenly she leaned forward again and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Damian said automatically while his mind spun in a different direction. Could Rachel be having second thoughts about her decision to not get involved with him? Or was it just the emotion of the moment?
“Excuse me, Miss Perkins?” The moment fled as they looked up to see the nurse standing there. “Here’s Mari’s purse.”
Rachel reached out and took it. “Thank you.”
She held the purse in her lap for a moment before opening it. Damian watched as she pulled out a wallet.
After looking at the contents she held it out to Damian, tears in her eyes. Damian took it, wondering what was causing her to cry. He glanced at the small slip of paper showing through a plastic covering. Mari had Rachel as the person to contact in case of emergency, and she’d listed her relationship as mother.
“She’s going to be fine, Rachel.” Damian didn’t hand the wallet back since Rachel continued to paw through the purse.
“I know. I know. But what if she never remembers I’m her mother.” Rachel clutched the purse and stared straight ahead.
“Then you’ll deal with it. You’re borrowing worry again, Rache.”
Rachel’s shoulders slumped, and she looked back down at the purse. “Yeah, I know.” She began her search again, looking at the bits of paper she found in the purse.
Damian looked through the wallet, pulling out Mari’s license and various cards. “What’s her aunt’s name?”
Rachel paused. “I don’t know her last name, but Mari said her first name was Carmen. I think she was her dad’s sister so her last name would be Hewitt, although she could be married.”
Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) Page 17