The doors of the elevator opened on Mari’s floor, and Rachel stepped out. Since the card with her dad’s phone number was at home, Rachel decided to see if she could get his number through information. She needed to make things right with him. It was time her past truly became her past.
But first she wanted to see Mari again.
“Can I see her?” Rachel asked the now familiar nurse at the nurses’ station.
The nurse smiled and nodded. “I think she’s awake.”
Though Damian still weighed on her mind, Rachel decided Mari needed her attention right then. Once things were going better for Mari, Rachel would sort out what had happened with Damian, but for now she’d focus on her daughter.
Mari was awake when Rachel walked into her room. A smile lit her thin, bruised face. “Rachel!”
Chapter Seventeen
Damian swung his truck into the driveway and sat for a few moments rotating his head from side to side to work out the kinks. He moved slowly into the house and tossed his jacket and keys on the kitchen table.
What Rachel had told him was in the back of his mind, but Damian didn’t want to think about it right then. He had other things he needed to do, things he’d promised Rachel he’d do. No matter what else, Damian would continue to be there for her.
Thirsty, he went to the fridge and pulled out a soda. He had planned to come home to sleep but now he knew he wouldn’t be able to so caffeine was definitely needed now.
Soda in hand he went to his desk and picked up the phone to make his first call. Damian pulled the small piece of paper Rachel had given him out of his pocket and dialed. The call didn’t go anything like he had thought it would. When he hung up the receiver ten minutes later he was so grateful that Mari had come to find Rachel. Her aunt had seemed disappointed to hear that Mari hadn’t been killed in the accident. Carmen Hewitt had said Mari had stolen what was rightfully hers and other equally hateful things.
Damian couldn’t believe someone could actually feel that way about another family member, although Carmen had made it pretty clear during their conversation that as far as she was concerned, Mari wasn’t family. Sure they weren’t related by blood but Mari’s parents had loved and wanted her. That should have counted for something. Apparently it didn’t for Carmen Hewitt Davis.
Frowning, Damian picked up his soda and drained the last of it, trying to erase the bad taste his conversation with Carmen had left in his mouth. He knew Rachel would give Mari the love she needed, and it would more than make up for the lack of affection from her aunt.
Wearily Damian climbed the stairs to his bedroom. The bed called to him, but he ignored it and headed for the shower. He didn’t have time to sleep, he had to get back to see Rachel. Hoping the shower would rejuvenate him, Damian turned the spray on full and cold.
The bracing coldness of the water helped to clear the sleepiness from his mind. When Damian stepped out of the shower he felt better, though still tired. He pulled on a clean pair of jeans and then used the towel to clear the mirror so he could see to shave without cutting himself.
Back in his bedroom he finished dressing. He had just sat down on the side of the bed to pull on his socks when his phone rang. Worried it might be Rachel, Damian answered it right away.
“Damian? It’s Dad.”
Capturing the receiver between his ear and shoulder, Damian bent to pull his socks on. “Dad? What’s up?”
“I know you’re trying to sleep, but we need your help.”
“What’s happened?” Damian slowly straightened, his other sock hanging limply from his fingers.
“Jace’s gone.”
“Gone?” Damian stood and began to pace. How much more could go wrong? “What do you mean gone?”
“When we got home he said he wanted to sleep. I decided to go to church even though it was late, but your mother stayed with him.” Mike sighed. “I got home about five minutes ago and went to check on Jace. He left a note saying he couldn’t stay, that he didn’t want to be a reminder to Mari of what he’d done to her.”
Anchoring the phone between his shoulder and ear again, Damian sat down and pulled on his other sock. “I’ll be over as soon as I can, Dad.”
“I’m sorry to have bothered you, son.” Damian could hear the weariness in his father’s voice.
“Don’t worry about it. I would have been upset if you hadn’t called me. I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?”
Damian hung up and stood there for a few minutes trying to pull himself together. His mind felt like it was on overload. If one more thing went wrong, it would surely push him right over the edge.
Any energy he’d gained from his shower had been zapped, and as Damian headed down the stairs he had to consciously focus on what he was doing. He grabbed another can of pop, eager for a further boost the caffeine could give him. At this rate he’d probably be better off stopping and buying an energy drink or two.
He pulled out of the driveway ten minutes after his dad’s call. His cell phone was in his hand and he’d punched in the first couple of numbers for the nurses’ desk, but then stopped. Rachel didn’t need any more worries on her plate. Hopefully he’d be able to track Jace down in the next couple of hours so when he showed back up at the hospital she’d be none the wiser about what had happened.
*****
Thank you, Lord! Rachel hadn’t stopped saying it since she’d walked into Mari’s room half an hour earlier. Nothing could describe the joy Rachel had felt when she’d seen recognition, true recognition, in her daughter’s eyes. Mari was also less agitated than she’d been since the accident. Just knowing who she was seemed to settle her.
Not that she remembered everything. The two weeks leading up to the accident were still a blank. Mari didn’t remember Christmas or telling Rachel who she was. And she didn’t remember Jace. Rachel hoped that like the rest of her memory, it would just be a matter of time. The doctor said it was possible Mari would never recall those two weeks, but Rachel was holding out hope for yet another miracle.
Unable to keep a smile from her face, Rachel went back to the waiting room so she could use her phone. She wanted to phone Damian and let him know but also realized he needed his sleep. And she really wasn’t sure how to approach him after the way their last conversation had ended.
She decided to call her dad and have a long overdue chat. It wasn’t all that difficult to get his number since Rachel happened to remember the street he lived on, though not the house number. She paused to pray before punching in the number.
The phone rang four times before it connected to an answering machine. Rachel was disappointed at first but then realized that it was possible they weren’t home from church yet. She debated hanging up, but by the time her father’s voice instructed her to leave a message, she’d decided to do just that.
“Hi, Dad, this is Rachel. I’m calling to say I got your card, and that I…” Rachel’s voice faltered for a second, doubts assailing her. Can I really do this? When that thought brought no peace, Rachel knew she had to forgive him. “I forgive you. I’d like to talk to you, but I’m not going to be at my house for a while. I’ll try calling again later. There’s a lot we have to catch up on.”
Rachel hung up and stood there for a few seconds, her hand gripping the phone. One difficult task down, one more to go. But she was going to have to wait for Damian to make the next move. She’d told him what he’d asked to hear; now he had to decide what to do with that information.
There was an ache in Rachel’s heart as she thought of not having Damian in her life, but at the same time she felt at peace about it. If she and Damian weren’t meant to be together, God must have something better…for both of them. She couldn’t imagine loving another man the way she loved Damian, but Rachel trusted God to direct her path and her feelings.
Putting a smile back on her face, Rachel returned to Mari’s side. One step at a time, she reminded herself, she’d take everything one step at a time.
*****
&
nbsp; “Damian!” His parents engulfed him in a hug when he walked through their front door.
The three of them stood there for several minutes, Sharon weeping softly.
“It’s going to be okay. We’ll find Jace and bring him home,” Damian said, hoping he was right.
“If only I hadn’t gone to sleep. I should have stayed awake. I would have heard him leave.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Mom. People in this situation are taking too much blame. Jace is a grown man. He should have realized this was no solution for his problem.”
“My baby,” Sharon sobbed.
Though he was tired, worried and frustrated, Damian couldn’t keep from smiling. Jace hated it when his mom called him her baby. Damian pulled Sharon close. “Your baby is going to be just fine. After I get through with him for pulling such a ridiculous stunt.”
Sharon pulled back and gave him a reproving look. “Don’t you lay a finger on him.”
“Don’t worry, Mom. I don’t think I have the strength to do anything but talk at the moment. Now, let me see that note.”
Mike handed him a folded piece of paper. Damian opened it up and began to read. As he did, a pit began to form in his stomach. This was not a snap decision, he could tell that from reading Jace’s words. His brother had put some thought into his plan, and unless Jace decided he wanted them to find him, they wouldn’t. Obviously he’d spent his night in the hospital planning this all out.
Damian looked up at his parents, meeting their expectant gazes with dread. “He didn’t run away. He left. It sounds to me from this note that he put a lot of thought into it, and most likely we’re not going to be able to find him until he contacts us.”
“No,” Sharon said shaking her head. “Don’t say that, Damian. You need to get out there and find him. Call the police or something!”
“Mom.” Damian took his mother’s arm and led her into the living room, forcing her to sit down on the couch. “Jace is twenty-one, an adult now. He’s made a decision. Not a decision we like, but he’s made one nonetheless. We just need to wait for him to contact us.”
“But what if something happens to him?”
Damian saw the desperation in his mother’s eyes and felt a sense of failure. “He’ll be okay. You haven’t raised dummies, Mom. Okay, this move of Jace’s isn’t exactly bright, but he knows how to take care of himself.”
“Can we at least call the police?” Sharon pleaded.
“You can, if it will make you feel better, but I think they’ll probably tell you what I just did. He’s an adult. This is not a case of a runaway kid. He chose to leave, and they’ll say it was his right.”
Sharon jumped up from the couch and began to pace with heavy stomps around the living room. Damian and his father watched as she vented her pain and frustration. They glanced at each other, and Damian saw his own helplessness reflected in his father’s eyes.
“Mom, I’m going to go back to my place and see if he left a message on my answering machine or sent me an email. In the meantime I think all we can do is pray that God will keep him safe.”
The phone rang. All three of them turned to stare at it. Sharon was closest and grabbed it. “Jace?”
Damian and his dad left the living room in search of the extension phones. In the kitchen Damian lifted the receiver in time to hear his little brother’s voice.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
“You come home right this instant, young man,” Sharon demanded as only a mother could.
“Sorry, Mom, I can’t. I explained in the note why I can’t. I won’t force Mari to be around me knowing what I’ve done to her.”
“It was an accident, Jace,” Damian said.
“Damian, I’m glad you’re there. I know it was an accident, but still, I was responsible for Mari’s safety, and I let her down.”
“Come home, bro. Running away isn’t going to solve anything.”
A long silence ensued. Damian was afraid Jace had hung up.
“I can’t,” he said finally. “I’m only calling to let you know I’m okay. That I’m going to be okay. Once I’m settled I’ll contact you again.”
“Do you have enough money, son?” Mike spoke for the first time.
“I have my savings, Dad. I’ll be fine.”
Damian could hear his mother’s sobs over the line. “Jace, be sure and contact us soon. For our peace of mind, especially Mom’s.”
“I will. I love you all.”
“Don’t lose your faith in God, son,” Mike said, emotion heavy in his voice. “We love you.”
After Jace hung up, Damian stood for a few moments, his hand wrapped tightly around the receiver. He hoped his mother survived this.
Back in the living room he found her sitting on the couch, hands folded in her lap. Her face was pale and bore a look of resignation. Her last son had flown the coop. Literally.
Damian sat down next to her and looped his arm around her shoulder. “He’s going to be fine, Mom. You raised your boys to be independent and strong.”
Sharon didn’t say anything but held herself stiffly in his embrace.
“You need to go get some rest, son,” Mike said as he joined them. “I’ll take care of your mother.”
“Okay. Call me if anything else develops.”
Damian left his parents’ house, wondering if he really should drive home. He felt lightheaded from lack of sleep and now was emotionally drained as well.
He sat for a minute in the cab of the truck before starting it up. He’d take the side streets and drive slowly. The last thing they needed was another accident.
Damian debated returning to the hospital. He really needed to talk to Rachel, but he was inches from hitting a wall of exhaustion. Talking with her required clarity of mind and emotional strength. He had neither right then.
Their conversation would have to wait until he’d had a bit of sleep. Just enough to take the edge off his exhaustion. He had a feeling that no amount of caffeine would keep him going at this point.
Back at his house, Damian crawled into bed and set his alarm for just an hour later. At that point, even an hour’s sleep would be better than nothing.
It seemed just minutes had passed when his alarm went off. Damian fought the temptation to shut it off, roll over and go back to sleep. But he had too much to do before going back to the hospital. And he was going to take another shower.
Fifteen minutes later he was downstairs feeling marginally better. Damian grabbed another can of soda and a couple of things from his desk before leaving the house. He had one stop to make before he returned to the hospital.
*****
There were several people in the waiting room, but Rachel sat alone in one corner. Serena had stopped in briefly, but she’d forgotten she had practice with the junior high group from church. She had offered to cancel, but Rachel had sent her on her way.
Rachel played with the zipper of her jacket where it lay on her lap. Her heart ached. It felt bruised and trampled on, but strangely enough, she was at peace. She had tried, had taken the risk of telling Damian her secret, and it hadn’t turned out like she’d hoped, but still there existed within her the knowledge that God was in control. It was that assurance that kept her from falling completely to pieces.
Maybe God needed her to focus on Mari right now and not on a relationship with Damian. And that’s what she planned to do. The tests they’d done on Mari had shown no further swelling of her brain and what had been there had decreased significantly. The doctors seemed cautiously optimistic that it was just a matter of time before the rest of her memory returned.
Rachel shifted to lay her arm along the back of the seat, resting her chin on her arm so she could look out the window. Dark clouds obscured the sun, which most likely meant snow was right around the corner. Rachel felt as if her sun had been obscured in the past couple of days, but in spite of that she knew she was growing stronger. Going to God for strength meant she had a continual source, not one that would stop and start as peop
le entered and left her life.
“Rachel?”
Hearing Damian’s voice, Rachel whipped around to see him standing near her chair. He looked as tired as he had when he’d left earlier. Rachel’s heart began to pound at an alarming rate, but she worked to keep all expression off her face.
“Did you get some rest?” she asked as he sat down next to her.
“A bit. Not as much as I would have liked.” Damian held a bag out to her. “I brought some dinner. You probably didn’t get lunch, did you?”
Rachel shook her head and took the bag with the name of her favorite deli on it. Her heart clenched painfully. He knew her so well, better than anyone else at that moment, because he knew her deepest secrets.
“Thanks.” Rachel didn’t open the bag right away.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Damian asked, his expression open and friendly.
“A little.” Rachel didn’t know how he could act so normally. It was as if their conversation at the elevator had never taken place. Her heart was breaking, and he was acting like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“I bought you soup and a sandwich. And some stuff for me, too.”
Taking her cues from Damian, Rachel decided to also act like nothing had happened. She opened the bag and lifted out a wrapped sandwich. “Roast beef. Mine or yours?”
“I believe that’s yours.” Damian leaned back in his seat stretching his legs out.
“This one’s ham and cheese.” Rachel handed it to him.
She reached in for the soups, both cream of broccoli and cheese. Damian took one while she put the other on the seat beside her.
“Gotta spoon?” Damian asked.
Rachel looked back into the bag and picked up a spoon. She pulled it out and handed it to him. Their fingers brushed and lingered for a moment. Cautiously her gaze met his. The seriousness she saw there took her breath away. Rachel tried to think of something to say, anything, but words failed her. She captured her lower lip between her teeth, uncertain of what to do.
“Jace ran away,” Damian said.
Waiting For Rachel: A Christian Romance (Those Karlsson Boys) Page 19