"What's wrong?” he asked, his long strides carrying him quickly towards her. “Why all the tears? It's us, isn't it?"
She still couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes. “We should never have gotten involved. Now it will be a hundred times harder to say goodbye tomorrow."
"Do we really have to say goodbye?” he asked, tenderly touching a wide finger to her cheek. His eyes were too gentle, too full of emotion for her to meet them for more than a second.
"Yes, we do,” she said wretchedly, fighting back a sob. “And you know why, so please don't ask for another round of explanations."
Guy sighed. “You're everything I've ever wanted in a woman."
"Everything, except that I can't commit. The part of me that could is dead."
Guy said patiently, “With time, given a chance, you may come to change your mind."
Shelly shook her head. A million stars twinkled above her, witnesses or so it seemed, to her folly.
"You knew it was going to be like this,” she reminded him.
"It doesn't have to. I'm not like Ted, I would never dream of hurting you in that way.” He was angry now. She could hear it in his tone, which chilled her. “I don't understand this and I don't understand you."
"You won't have trouble finding another woman."
"Are you crazy, Shelly?” He seized her by the shoulders and shook her hard. “Why would I want another woman, when I have you?"
She shrunk away from his grasp. “You don't have me,” she whispered hoarsely. “I don't want anyone to have me again. I don't want to belong to anyone other than myself.” She ducked away from him when he tried to reach for her again.
"Shelly, come on, be reasonable, we can't just throw away these last few weeks. We've shared too much."
"I'm not throwing them away!” she shouted through her tears. “I just want you to leave me alone. I can't do it! Don't you understand? I just can't do it.” Sobbing, she broke away from him.
Guy, in a shocking display of speed, flashed past her and stood firmly blocking her way. “I'll walk you home."
His statement was firm and Shelly nodded. A moment later, they both paused outside her bungalow. Guy stuck his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. “Does it really have to end like this?"
Shelly sobbed. “It was never going to end any other way.” She ran for her front door, shouldered it open, and then dove into her room. Moonlight filtered through the blinds, leaving stripes like prison bars on the wooden floor.
"I'm a fool and a coward,” she muttered while leaning her head back against the door, the handle still clasped in her left hand in a death grip. Every muscle in her body trembled and she was sure her heart was breaking.
She kept remembering the pain that had flashed across Guy's face as he realized only moments ago, that it was truly over between them. She'd known him only a few weeks, yet she was always aware when he was near. She scarcely knew him, yet she sensed that she changed when he was around, became a better person, a stronger person, a person that could maybe, once again trust.
The soft breeze coming through the open kitchen window swirled the pale drapes, bringing with it the intoxicating perfume of the flowers Guy had given her. A few yards away on the table, the orchids seemed to glow beneath the moonlight, white and eerily beautiful. Suddenly, thoughts of her wedding bouquet blurred the flowers before her eyes.
Biting off a curse, Shelly strolled to the kitchen, grabbed the orchids and pushed them down in the trash. A single, white orchid head lay broken on the floor. She bent and gathered the delicate petals in her hand. As a beam of moonlight fell on her hand and she watched a tear fall onto the scented petals, she knew again that she couldn't trust. It had been foolish to ever play with the fact.
Burying her face in her hands, she hit the bed at a run and wept bitterly. Mourning the loss of the only man she'd truly ever loved, mourning the loss of the children they might have had together, if she weren't so scared, if she were only brave enough.
* * * *
Shelly didn't remember hearing the front door open, but she supposed it must have. She felt the bed ease down under the weight of someone sitting beside her. She went deadly still as a hand softly stroked her hair and she choked out, “I forgot to lock the door again, didn't I?"
"Luckily for me, it seems to be a habit of yours."
She sobbed. “I ... I can't believe you saw me cry like that, Guy."
"I saw it all, angel, and it cut me to the quick. You obviously have feelings for me,” he said softly. “And I know that—"
"Don't say it!” Shelly turned to him. “Don't say that you love me.” Had she guessed wrong? If so, she had just made a worse fool of herself.
He sighed heavily. “Okay, I won't say it and you needn't say it, either."
The handsome admission caused her to lift her head and look at him.
"Will you at least take some time to think about your decision to leave on the morrow?” he asked quietly.
"No.” Shelly sat up and wiped at her tear-stained face. “I've had plenty of time. I won't change my mind."
"Are you sure of that?” Guy took a deep breath. “Stay here with me another month, until I return to England."
"I can't, I have my nursing job waiting back in England. Besides, there is no point in us prolonging the inevitable. It will be easier if I just put you ... put us behind me."
Guy pulled her against his chest. “I promise, angel, that I won't ever hurt you."
Shelly pushed him away and glared into his eyes. “And you think Ted didn't promise me that very same thing? I can't trust you, I just can't."
Guy looked down at his hands in desperation. He was really losing her and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.
Shelly felt sick; her heart was heavy in her chest as she took in the look of disappointment on his handsome, chiseled face. Even so, it couldn't outweigh her own regrets and sorrow. Her life without this man would be hollow and she hated herself in that moment, for the coward that she surely was.
His mouth tightened, but his voice was commendably steady as he asked, “So this is the way we say our good-byes?"
Shelly laid her palm along the strong line of his jaw, “It doesn't have to be, I'd rather say goodbye another way, if you still have—” Her eyes strayed to his trouser pocket. “That is, if you still want to."
"Are you mad?” He grinned crookedly. “Of course I want to, angel.” He held back the words that he would always want her. Even when she was gone from his life, he'd be aching to touch her, to love her, to hold her.
Shelly let him take her in his arms, for this one last special time. Every nerve ending in his body was driving Guy to haste. But he forced himself to undress her slowly, savoring the feel of her soft skin beneath his palms. Tenderly and with infinite care, he pushed her back, and lay over her, his large body pushing her down into the mattress.
Guy wanted the moment to last forever. If this truly was going to be their last night together, he wanted to savor and taste every inch of her skin. Unhurriedly, he began to rub his lips teasingly over her left eye.
Shelly sighed, she found she couldn't help it; the moist heat of his mouth was causing her to breathe faster. What he was doing touched a cord deep within her that she hadn't known was there. Ted had kissed her, but not like this. No man had ever caressed her in such a way. She sighed once more, curling her nails into the hard muscles of his wide back while pressing her lips against his wiry chest hair. She wanted him, needed his driving hardness to take away the pain in her heart for a while, to satisfy the burning fire igniting in her loins.
Guy stared down at her and gently traced a tanned finger around her left and then her right eye, even in the shadowed room they glowed as green as sharp shards of broken glass. Greener eyes he'd never seen. Next he traced the outline of her mouth. God, but she was lovely. He wanted her, not just for the here and now, but for an eternity. Trembling, he slowly lowered his lips towards hers.
Shelly let her lips
part. Pressing her breasts insistently up against his firm chest, she silently invited him to deepen the kiss. They touched tongues and her loins tightened, throbbing alarmingly as she felt his big cock grow and harden against her thigh in response.
Guy shifted his weight to one side and slid his warm mouth down the side of her neck. With his left hand, he caressed and played with her breasts, torturing her nipples with wave after wave of sensation, until they stood hard and erect against the backdrop of her paler flesh.
God, but he was going to miss the feel of her body!
Aching to feel him inside her, Shelly stroked him, memorizing the contours of his pert buttocks and the muscles of his wide shoulder blades. His tongue slid lower, leaving her nipples tingling in the cooler air where his hot mouth had been, around her belly button and lower to the very core of her desire. Shelly kept her eyes open, even when he kissed her pussy. His tongue parted her hairy little lips, then demandingly probed between the warm line of her slit. When he lifted one arm to curl it around her and bring her even closer to his face, the muscles in his shoulders and biceps bunched just as they had when he stroked through the ocean. He was magnificent, and he was hers. She shivered. No, correction, in another time or place, maybe he could have been hers. Should have been hers. Hell, she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't!
"You're shivering. Are you cold?” he asked, blue eyes bright in the shadows as he looked up at her.
Her laugh sounded more like a sob. “No way, we're on a tropical island, in case you haven't noticed. Come on, kiss me some more."
Guy smiled. He wouldn't let her see that his heart was bleeding. “Why should I?"
"Because I love it, that's why,” she whispered. But when she looked up, the cocky grin that she imagined she'd find on his lips wasn't there. They were tightly pressed together as if he was about to undertake a matter of great importance.
His eyes blazed as he lowered his head to her pussy. Shelly bucked off the bed as he took her into his mouth and devoured her throbbing core. She was shivering all over as he licked a path up her body. When his mouth hungrily captured hers, his tongue exploring every crevice of her mouth, she gasped. He slipped his fingers in her pussy; they slid easily in and out. Due to her desire for him, she was wet and slippery, making his access easy. She opened her thighs wider, inviting him to plunge yet more fingers into her warm, insatiable depths.
He moved over her, supporting himself on one forearm, while with the other, he caressed the soft skin of her face. Then he entered her. His warm, pulsating cock was harder than Shelly had ever felt it before. It filled her in a way his fingers never could. The world hummed around her and her eyes fluttered shut on the blissful sensation of completion.
Guy began to move in her, his pace heartbreakingly slow. With every thrust, he kissed her, with every withdrawal of his masculinity, he muttered her name. Only to plunge deeper and deeper the next time, until they were soaring on a monumental wave of feelings so intense, emotions so strong, that Shelly couldn't be quite sure if she was still on the bed or floating somewhere above it.
A moment later with a loud gasp, she tightened her body around him. Her limbs ached from the sheer force by which she gripped him as she climaxed and wave after wave of pleasure burst around her. When she thought it was over, she came again and another wave began. She screamed and cried out as a multitude of lights burst behind her closed eyelids and her desire flowed in a current from between her legs.
Just when she thought that she couldn't possibly take anymore, Guy, with a loud undeniably male groan, pressed hard into her until his cock touched the very head of her womb. When he had caught his breath, he rolled over onto his back and pulled her protectively onto his chest.
Shelly grinned at him through her tousled hair. “That was marvelous. I thought it was never going to stop."
He kissed the tip of her nose. “I wish it hadn't."
"Well.” She laughed, marveling at each pale blue vein, each tiny mole, each sinew that swelled across his wide chest. “I'm glad it did. I thought I was going to explode."
Guy said dryly, “In that case, I think we may have a problem."
"You're not, I mean, are you? You can't be, it's too soon!” Shelly leaned on her elbow and stared at him through her tousled hair, a look between wonder and astonishment on her face.
Guy couldn't believe it himself, but he was ready for her again. With a devilish lift of his eyebrows, he took her hand and placed it over the swollen head of his erection. “See for yourself."
Shelly grinned mischievously. “I think we'd best not waste it."
"My thoughts exactly, angel.” He laughed while he pulled off the soiled condom. Then he rolled a banana flavored one from the multi-pack on the bedside table down his shaft.
When he was finished, Shelly pushed him back against the pillows and straddled him. Guy, eager for her, pulled her down for a kiss, while his stiff cock glided smoothly into her pussy.
* * * *
Half an hour later with Shelly curled up snugly against his side, Guy reluctantly lifted her arm lying across his chest and left her bed, just long enough to dispose of the protection he'd worn. His body felt satisfyingly spent, but his heart was in shreds. Even as he'd made love to her, as his cock had been buried deeply in her flesh, he'd been in agony. The knowledge that this was the end of all they'd been together, rather than the beginning of a long and happy life together, tore him apart. He'd believed that in a week, he could convince her to have a true relationship with him. But her plane was departing tomorrow and there seemed little chance of that happening now. A holiday romance, she had said. Could that be all she really wanted? Just sex, was that all that had really taken place between them?
His bladder from the three beers he'd consumed earlier in the evening urgently needed emptying. Consequently, he wasn't thinking what he was doing as he removed the condom. But something felt strange, and it occurred to him that he should pay attention. He thought that he could feel the pad of his own finger against his thumb where latex should have been.
Quickly, he looked down.
Shit! It was a huge tear, badly placed near the very tip of the sheath. He frowned, for the opening certainly must have leaked.
A sudden lurch of desperation overtook him as a hollow feeling, as heavy as a brick, settled in his stomach. He stood legs apart in front of the toilet bowl, his limp dick in one hand and the busted condom, giving off its pleasant banana aroma, in the other. It was several minutes before he got himself together enough to remind himself just how slim the odds were that anything could have happened as a result of one unprotected incident.
Guy looked back through the open bathroom doorway, to the bed where Shelly lay. Her tousled, fair hair was almost silver in the moonlight streaming through the window. Her eyes were closed, a sweet, trusting smile on her lips. He should tell her. But was there really any point in frightening her for no reason? He was disease-free and she was probably on some form of contraception, women always were these days. This had been their last time together, and it should be perfect for her. She was leaving and all Guy wanted was to let their parting, this night, be as sweet as humanly possible so that he could hold the beautiful memories of it forever in his heart.
At last, his urine hit the toilet bowl with a loud splash. As he relieved himself, a little voice whispered in his head, let it go. So he did.
Chapter 22
Shelly woke to the now familiar squawking of seagulls and the rolling, crashing of waves. Guy was still fast asleep beside her. Automatically, she reached out to stroke the fine, dark hairs in front of his ear. She pressed her lips lightly to the side of his neck, now sexily rough with new whiskers.
Without warning, an intense pain overtook her and she had to place a hand over her mouth to prevent a gasp from escaping. It hit her like a slap to the face that this would be the last morning she would ever awake secure in his arms. In a few hours, she would be flying out of his life forever. She should never have allowed herself to ge
t involved with the man. She'd known from the very beginning what it would lead to—heartache and pain. But somehow, his eyes, his sexy smile and God, yes, that body of his, had drawn her to him. She bit back a sob. She would miss ... miss Guy, more than she could say. But she couldn't commit after Ted. Coward that she was, she just wasn't brave enough. Guy was looking for something she couldn't give and there had never really been any getting around that.
Tears filled Shelly's eyes, blurring her vision of his long naked body. She didn't want him to see her cry; their parting should be as wonderful as possible. Eight hours from now, she would have a hard enough time not breaking down when they said their good-byes for good at the airport. The ache in her heart turned to a crushing pain, making it nearly impossible for her to breathe as she walked into the bathroom. Grabbing blindly at a strip of toilet paper, she dabbed at her eyes. Choking back sobs, she prayed she wouldn't fall to pieces and turn into a watering pot just then.
It was no good. She was going to fall to pieces and that was that. She sobbed silently into her hands and stumbled blindly back, her foot connecting with the little wastebasket beside the toilet. She held her breath and glanced at the bed. Guy, obviously disturbed by the sound, flung an arm across his eyes, but he slept on. Good. As she bent to scoop up the wastebasket's contents, her eyes focused hazily on a filmy, skin-colored, object beside her foot.
Something wasn't right.
Shelly couldn't have said what it was, at first. The condom was just a lump really, except that it suddenly appeared to her to have two ends. Which of course, was impossible. She lifted it gingerly from the floor, hoping to prove that her eyes were playing tricks on her. But when she lay the thin material flat out on her palm, she could see a finger-width tear. Her heart began a ragged drumbeat that pounded in her ears.
"No,” she breathed, sporadically, “please no."
The thing must have torn when Guy removed it, she reasoned, but what if it had burst when they'd been making love? He'd been inside her when he'd climaxed. That meant the condom she was holding in her hand would have been useless. Her stomach churned. She felt sick; red spots danced before her eyes as another stronger emotion replaced her fear. He should have told her, she had a right to know.
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