by Mindy Neff
‘‘I was talking about Stony, as well.’’
There was a pause on the line. ‘‘So what did he say?’’
‘‘That’s just it. I haven’t asked him yet.’’
‘‘Why in the world not?’’
‘‘Aunt Lottie, this isn’t exactly something you blurt out, you know.’’ With the phone cord wrapped around her finger, she turned…and nearly fainted.
Stony was standing behind her, unashamedly listening.
Her heart surged so hard she actually saw stars.
‘‘I’ve got to go,’’ she whispered. Like an inferno, the heat of chagrin drenched her. ‘‘Talk to you soon.’’ She hung up the phone, rubbed her damp palms on the seat of her jeans and turned to face the music. Or Stony, rather.
‘‘So, has Lottie recovered from her stress?’’
She nodded. His gaze was fixed so steadily on her it took every bit of her will not to squirm.
‘‘Thought so.’’ He took off his hat, bounced it gently against his thigh. Although his voice was achingly pleasant, he was clearly annoyed. ‘‘Don’t you think it’s time you told me what’s really going on? Why you’re here?’’
Think, Eden. Don’t blow it. She opened her mouth, felt her heart nearly pound out of her chest.
‘‘I need to have a baby.’’ Adrenaline shot through her so fast she had to grab the countertop for support. It felt as though her lungs had collapsed, and try as she might, she couldn’t seem to draw in enough air to chase away the dizziness.
She’d told Aunt Lottie she couldn’t just blurt it out, yet that’s exactly what she’d done.
And there was no turning back now.
When he didn’t react, didn’t move so much as an eyelash, she tried again, her voice and hands trembling with fear and embarrassment…and a quiet desperation that squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, gave her courage.
‘‘I want you to get me pregnant.’’
In the silence that followed they could have heard an ant sneeze.
Stony blinked, stared, then jammed his hat on his head, and without a single word or change in expression, he turned and walked out the door.
Chapter Four
Eden stared at the kitchen door, her heart in her throat. Well, what had she expected?
They hadn’t even kissed and she’d asked him to have sex with her. It was little wonder that he’d stared at her as if she’d lost her mind and walked out.
She closed her eyes, wondering what to do now. He was her hope. Yet his reaction just now had all but extinguished that hope.
Folding her arms, she hugged her waist as though protecting herself, as though the pressure could keep the panic from spilling out of her like a river of blood.
Apt analogy, Eden.
Her period was due to start in a couple of days. Her plan had been to take the first two weeks to settle in, to form a bond with Stony, and by the time they’d both agreed they couldn’t wait a moment more before making love, it would most likely be her time of ovulation. It hadn’t really crossed her mind that Stony—or any man for that matter—would turn down an offer of sex.
It sounded so calculating now. So sexist. Why hadn’t it before?
When the kitchen door opened again, she jumped.
Stony stood at the threshold for a long moment, then took off his hat and closed the door.
He’d only been gone a few minutes, which meant he couldn’t have gotten much farther than the back porch before he’d turned around.
He was a difficult man to read. So silent. So watchful. He didn’t waste words on chitchat.
And Eden suddenly wished he would.
Anything to hold back time. Anything to keep him from escorting her off his property, dashing her dreams.
‘‘Why?’’ His voice was quiet yet reverberated around the room like the report of a pistol. Most people would have automatically asked her to repeat herself.
Not Stony, though. He’d heard correctly the first time. Nothing got past him. He just took his time about processing, sifted through the facts, then asked for further clarification.
Odd how she could discern certain qualities in him, yet was unable to read his expressions, to get even a hint of what was going through his mind.
It made her feel even more vulnerable that she couldn’t.
He was still waiting for her explanation, and now that the time was at hand, Eden didn’t know where to start. She thought she’d had it all worked out in her head—that an attraction between them could have sparked and ignited, and from there, simply followed the natural, typical, expected progression and conclusion.
Sexual intimacy.
She took a breath. ‘‘Where’s Nikki?’’ She’d been with Stony earlier.
‘‘Demone’s giving her a riding lesson.’’
‘‘Isn’t she a little young for—’’
‘‘Eden.’’
She swallowed. Nodded. ‘‘Maybe we should sit.’’ At least, she should. Otherwise she might fall. But Stony merely moved across the kitchen, crossed his arms over his broad chest and leaned against the counter.
Eden didn’t want to be at the disadvantage of having him tower over her, so she stayed on her feet and paced.
‘‘I want to have a baby, but I have a medical condition called adenomyosis—endometriosis of the uterus muscle.’’ She glanced at him, but his expression hadn’t changed. ‘‘It’s a female thing, but it’s not contagious or anything,’’ she assured quickly.
Still no change in his expression.
She sighed and looked out the kitchen window, twisting her fingers together until her knuckles appeared bloodless. With her gaze focused on two butterflies flying in acrobatic circles around a pansy, she deliberately untangled her fingers and gripped the lip of the sink. Her knees were shaking so hard she wasn’t certain she could stay upright.
‘‘I don’t imagine those technical terms make much sense to you. Basically, I’ve got a condition that causes me to have heavy periods which in turn causes fairly severe anemia.’’
Essentially, Dr. Amies had said, she was nearly bleeding to death once a month.
‘‘The doctor wants to operate…perform a hysterectomy.’’ Just saying the word made her want to sit down and bawl. ‘‘But I want children, a child, at least. I want the experience of carrying a baby in my womb if at all possible.’’
She swallowed, could hardly speak above a whisper. She had no idea if he could hear her, if he was even listening. A bead of water clinging to the curve of the sink slid down the porcelain like a tear.
‘‘I’ve only got six months to try and make that happen.’’
She felt his hands on her shoulders and jumped.
‘‘Come sit down, Eden.’’
Tears stung the back of her eyes at the gentleness of his voice. He had every right to be angry because she was here under false pretenses, had essentially lied to him—albeit by omission. Yet instead of sharpness, he spoke to her as though she were a cherished friend—or lover.
The emotions crowding inside her felt as though, any minute now, they’d break through the dam of her control. And if she allowed that, where would she be? She couldn’t feel sorry for herself. She had to take action. It’s how she’d always conducted her life.
He turned her and led her to a chair at the kitchen table. She was grateful when he sat down opposite her, almost as if he’d understood her need to be on an equal footing.
She brushed a long strand of hair back off her face and gave him a tentative smile. ‘‘I didn’t mean to spring this on you.’’
‘‘What did you mean to do?’’
Her shoulders lifted, and she gave a nervous laugh. ‘‘At least wait until we’d kissed.’’
The attempt to lighten the moment fell flat. Eden couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever felt so nervous…or foolish. But she’d started this communication, and she had to see it through. Honestly.
‘‘I thought if there was chemistry between us, and we ha
d the convenience of being under the same roof, we’d just let nature take its course.’’
‘‘And is there?’’
‘‘What?’’
‘‘Chemistry.’’
His direct look made her squirm. For some reason she had the feeling he was holding his breath, that her answer was vitally important to him. ‘‘I think there is,’’ she said softly, leaving herself totally vulnerable. He hadn’t reciprocated by assuring her he felt the same way.
‘‘So then what? You take advantage of an…attraction, we hit the sheets, then once you get what you came for, you leave as mysteriously as you arrived…and never bother to tell me I’m a father?’’
‘‘No! That would have never happened. Honestly, Stony. This is difficult for me, this conversation about…my personal flaws, female things. Especially since we don’t really know each other.’’
His brows lifted as if to say, Exactly, yet you just asked me to have sex with you. She was making a mess of the whole thing.
‘‘What I’m trying to say is that when a couple is intimate, it’s just easier to discuss this stuff. And I would have. When we were…more familiar. I wouldn’t have left and not told you if I was pregnant.’’
But the reminder made her realize she hadn’t truly thought through that part of her wild request. The ticking of the clock had caused her to act rashly, had all but blinded her to everything except the immediate goal.
To have a baby growing in her womb while the possibility still existed.
The intensity of his amber gaze never wavered as he studied her, searched her face for the truth. Finally, he nodded and took a long breath that expanded his chest and pulled at the snaps on his shirt.
‘‘This was your idea?’’
She didn’t meet his eyes. ‘‘Uh, actually, Aunt Lottie sort of suggested it.’’
‘‘And you jumped with both feet?’’
She looked back at him. ‘‘No. I thought she was nuts.’’
‘‘Evidently not too nuts.’’
‘‘I’m thirty-four, Stony, and I’ve never had a one-night stand. I’ve had a few committed relationships that didn’t work out, but I’ve never taken sex lightly. I still don’t. But when a person is feeling desperate, suggestions, even ones that are way out there or slightly iffy, have a way of sounding right, of making sense.’’ She paused, swallowed. ‘‘And I’m feeling desperate.’’
He swore, raked a hand through his mahogany hair. ‘‘Isn’t there some other treatment for this…’’
‘‘We’ve tried. The last effort was a drug called depo-provera to control my…uh, cycle.’’ She saw his eyes skitter away the same time hers did. This wasn’t getting any easier, or any less embarrassing, for either of them. She didn’t have brothers, and she’d been brought up in the Southern tradition and taught that ladies didn’t talk about delicate subjects in polite company. ‘‘I couldn’t tolerate the side effects of the medication.’’
‘‘What about artificial insemination?’’
‘‘I don’t have that kind of money. Or the time to chance it not working.’’
He lifted a brow. ‘‘Six months is six months. What’s the difference?’’
Her face flamed with heat, but she lifted her chin. ‘‘A big one to my way of thinking. In a healthy, committed relationship between a man and a woman, they normally make love fairly often, thereby increasing the odds considerably if a person is trying for a baby. Twenty-five times or so a month is obviously better math than a one-time shot.’’
‘‘Only twenty-five?’’
‘‘Give or take. I factored in time off for monthly female—’’ She stopped, glared at him, not sure if he’d been teasing or sarcastic. With his solemn countenance it was hard to tell.
‘‘So, why me?’’
‘‘Because Aunt Lottie recommended you.’’ She took a breath, shook her head. ‘‘That sounds really bad, I know.’’ But through her aunt’s glowing description of Stony, Eden’s hope had begun to blossom. Desperate, at the end of her rope, with the clock ticking away her fate, she’d needed to cling to something, been willing to take the biggest, perhaps even the most foolish risk of her life—to leave a thriving business and life she adored and to put her trust in a man she’d never met, simply on the strength of her aunt’s recommendation….
And on a powerful, giddy reaction to a photograph.
It had come in the mail, the brown envelope stamped with Aunt Lottie’s return address. With sticky bread dough still clinging to her hands, she’d slid the single photograph out of its jacket and felt an immediate flutter in her stomach, a shortness of breath.
It was those eyes, the color of fine scotch with drizzles of molasses. Intense, yet gentle somehow.
Eyes that held the same expression right now.
And suddenly, without understanding how, Eden knew he was going to turn her down.
‘‘I don’t think this is going to work, Eden. I’m not the right man.’’
Panic seized her. ‘‘But you are. I’m here. This is perfect. You’re perfect.’’
He shook his head. ‘‘There are plenty of other men in town.’’
‘‘But I’m already here,’’ she repeated. How could she convince him when even now she realized the rashness and illogic of her impulsive plan? She had to try, though.
‘‘I’m working for you, Stony, living under the same roof. Don’t you see? It’s perfect. I’ve screwed up my courage to ask you—and despite what you might think, this isn’t easy for me.’’ Never mind that she’d jumped the gun and blurted rather than asked. Her objective was out in the open. And if it sounded as though she was begging, so be it. She had no pride. Only a fiercely coveted dream.
‘‘I’ve put my business and my life on hold. I can’t go back to town now—besides, Aunt Lottie’s in Texas and you still need someone to care for Nikki.’’
‘‘Eden—’’
She reached across the table and gripped his forearm. ‘‘I’m running out of time, Stony. If I went back to town, what would you have me do? Take out an ad? Hang out a shingle on the door inviting men to come on in?’’
He scowled. ‘‘Don’t be ridiculous.’’
‘‘Well?’’
‘‘Why didn’t you choose someone in Texas? Wasn’t there anyone you were seeing?’’
‘‘No. I told you I’ve been busy.’’ She dropped her forehead into her palm. ‘‘When the doctor gave me the ultimatum, I confess I panicked—which isn’t like me at all. I haven’t gone out on a date in four months—’’
‘‘What the hell’s wrong with those Texans?’’ he muttered, then looked as though he wished he could snatch the words back.
She felt the beginning of a smile chase away a bit of the anxiety. ‘‘Thank you,’’ she said softly.
‘‘That’s the nicest compliment I’ve had in a long time.’’
His look suggested he didn’t believe that for a minute.
But the fact that it was true made her want to weep, brought her back to the pressing dilemma that was already two weeks closer to the deadline.
Fourteen fewer days to try for a baby.
‘‘Actually, the availability of decent guys is pretty slim—at least the ones I’ve come in contact with lately. Seems they’re just out to have a good time, or they’re married—a minor detail they neglect to mention. That’s not the kind of man I’d consider approaching to have a baby with.’’
Stony raised his brows, and Eden realized she was making a bigger mess of this explanation—and that her motivation was sounding thinner and wilder by the moment.
But she had to press on, had to make him understand.
‘‘All my life I’ve always known exactly where I was headed and how I’d get there. I don’t think I consciously knew how important children and family were to me until I was faced with the possibility of not being able to have them. I’d always planned to marry someday and have a bunch of kids, but I’d put first things first. I’ve spent these past ten years bu
ilding a successful business, never realizing that ‘someday’ might be snatched from me. I’ve controlled my destiny with solid planning and a ton of faith. What I can’t control is my body, and it’s suddenly decided to fail me.’’ She scooped a strand of hair behind her ear.
‘‘Now I’m racing against time, and my choices are to bleed to death or to have surgery that will prevent the possibility of ever having a baby.’’
‘‘Damn it, is your life in jeopardy?’’
She hadn’t meant to blurt that out. And she refused to believe it. ‘‘I’m taking vitamins to counteract the anemia…and it only happens once a month. But I can’t keep it up forever.’’ She looked him straight in the eyes. ‘‘Please, Stony.’’
Stony pinched the bridge of his nose, his mind whirling. Now he understood the fleeting shadows he’d seen in her eyes when she’d first come, the faint discoloration of the fragile skin beneath those eyes, the uncanny sense that she was hiding something.
Now that he knew her true agenda and the reasons behind it, he couldn’t help responding, wanting to protect her, to make it right.
She was too young and vibrant to have the possibility of family taken from her.
He’d seen her with Nikki and Ian, wading in the creek, trapping minnows with a kitchen strainer, laughing and frolicking, passing out hugs and healing kisses when a knee got scraped. Then later, strumming her guitar, entertaining the children and neighbors with her songs, holding Nikki close when the day had grown long, arms tightening when fireworks had caused Nikki’s little heart to beat like the wings of a frightened bird.
Eden Williams would be a great mother.
And it certainly wouldn’t be any hardship on his part to oblige her in her plea.
From the moment he’d set eyes on her he’d been hard. He would have given half the Thoroughbreds on his farm just to kiss her, to feel her body against his, to pretend for just a while that he wasn’t a big ox of a guy with hands the size of mitts and a mug that could double as a mask on Halloween…that he was a man who could attract a beautiful woman like Eden.
But he wasn’t that kind of guy. Paula had shown him that quite clearly and definitely, to the tune of one million dollars.