“Robin?” Doyle had noticed that she stayed behind. He placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her away from the body. “Come on, we still need to check out a few more spaces before we decide that this place is safe enough.”
Robin allowed herself to be led out of the office.
***
Robin sat in one of the computer chairs, looking out over the street below. After ascertaining that the office building would be a safe place to stay for at least one night, the splinter group was retrieved from the vehicles and brought up to the fifth floor. Bedding made out of sleeping bags and pillows was laid out on the floor as things were moved around the office to make it safer. The guys had taken apart a few of the cubicle walls and were placing them across the fronts of the offices, the elevators, and the windows. They hadn’t yet reached where Robin was sitting.
“Do you have any bedding?” Elizabeth walked up next to her.
“No. We lost everything in the fire.” That thought weighed on Robin. She hadn’t been wearing any of the clothes she had brought from home so they had all been in the building. Her pillow, her MP3 player, her books, everything from her former life, gone.
“Well then, how about you take my sleeping bag? You and April can lay it out and at least have something between you and the floor,” Elizabeth offered.
“Oh no, I couldn’t do that.” Robin would never want to impose upon a pregnant woman.
“It’s all right.” She waved off Robin’s objections. “I usually just lay on top of one with Harry anyway. I get way too hot when Cynthia makes me bundle up.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.” Elizabeth walked over to grab her rolled-up sleeping bag, and Robin trailed after her.
“Which one is Harry?” Robin asked as she was handed the roll.
Elizabeth pointed out one of the guys as they moved another cubical panel over to the windows. It was the man who had stayed with the vehicles earlier, the one with the bow and arrows.
“Is he…” Robin trailed off, looking down at Elizabeth’s swollen belly.
“Oh, no.” She shook her head, unconsciously running her hand across her stomach. “The baby’s a result of a one night stand. I was never able to track the father down after I found out.”
“And you decided to keep it? Err, him?”
“I was going to give him up for adoption, actually.”
“You seem so calm. I’d be freaking out.”
Elizabeth laughed. “I freak out on the inside. Besides, I’ve had a new lease on life since the dead began walking around. It’ll be hard, but I’ve met some great people who are willing to help me out. In fact, I never would have met Harry back before, and he’s been a rock for me. I love him. However things decide to work out, I’m just going to go with it.”
Robin still thought Elizabeth might be just a little crazy. “Well, thank you for the sleeping bag.”
“No problem.”
Robin took the bag and left to stake out a good place to unroll it. She kept looking from Harry to Elizabeth as she did so. It was obvious they were in love by the way they would look at each other. What threw Robin off was when she caught sight of a wedding band on Harry’s finger. She wondered what had happened to his wife, and how long it had taken him to hook up with Elizabeth.
Quin strolled over and collapsed into a chair next to the spot where Robin was setting up. Splatter was perched on his shoulder, but when Quin sat, he crawled down to his lap. Quin started stroking him.
“What’s going on with you?” he asked, facing Robin.
“What do you mean?” Robin frowned up at him.
“I don’t mean anything. I’m just asking how you’re doing. You seemed really beat up about the kittens,” then as an after thought, “I tried to find them. Before getting out, you know?”
“It’s not your fault,” Robin assured him, turning back to straighten out the bag some more. “You didn’t light the fire.”
“But I was so out of it, I could have.”
Robin looked up at Quin. He was still beating himself up over River, but maybe it went even deeper than that.
“I don’t know why I do it, the drugs,” he said without being prompted. “I just… do it. I see something, and I take it. I don’t think either before or after, just do. It’s gotten me in a whole world of shit, but nothing like this. This is just…”
“Too much?” Robin offered.
“Yeah. Like a bad acid trip I can’t wake up from or ride out. Thanks for taking care of me though. You and April. I know I’ve been nothing but a burden to you both.”
“You turned against your best friend to save us. You’ve more than earned your keep.”
“Thanks.” Quin’s smile was weak, but genuine. “Speaking of April, have you seen her?”
“Not recently. I’ll go look for her.” Robin got to her feet.
“I can do it,” Quin offered, about to get to his own feet.
“No, I need something to keep me occupied. You just sit there with Splatter; I’m sure he enjoys the attention.” Robin went off searching.
Finding April wasn’t too difficult; she just had to follow the coughing. Robin was led to one of the cubicles across the room from where they had set up their little camp. April was sitting on the desk chair there, her sword lying across her lap. She looked like she had been crying.
“April? You okay?” Robin thought the question was dumb the moment it left her mouth. Nobody could really be okay anymore, could they?
April sniffled and got up to her feet. “I have to go.”
“Oh, I know where the bathroom is. I can come with you if you want.” Robin had misunderstood her statement.
“No, I have to go away. Away from here, away from you.” April put her hand to her mouth as another coughing fit took her. The cough suppressants hadn’t lasted long. This latest fit racked her entire body, nearly forcing her to sit back down. Although she tried to hide it, Robin saw the bit of blood on her hand when she moved it away.
“What are you talking about?” Robin tried to speak calmly.
“I’m sick. I have to go away.”
“So what if you’re sick? If you have something like pneumonia, you’ll need us to take care of you. I mean, we should probably keep you away from Elizabeth but-”
“I’m infected with the zombie virus!” April shouted, her eyes filling with tears. “River was right! I got infected. When we were out in the storm and got separated for a moment, I bumped into a zombie. He drooled all over me before I could push him off. I think a bit of it got in my mouth, but at the time, I hoped it was just the rain. There was so much rain, how could I know?”
“Maybe it was just rain.” Despite her words, Robin found herself taking a step away from April.
“It wasn’t. I know it wasn’t. It’s in my lungs, I think. That’s why I’m coughing. This isn’t a cold. My nose would be runny if it was. My nose always runs when I get a cold. This isn’t a cold.”
Robin didn’t know what to say. She was upset and wanted to cry, but she was also furious at April. Why hadn’t she said something sooner? How could she let them just abandon River when it turned out that he was right? It may have been wrong for him to try killing her like he had, but if he had been right, he was doing what he thought was best. They should have brought him, tied up probably, but still with them.
“I’m sorry.” April pleaded. She reached out and grabbed Robin’s hand.
Robin reacted quickly, pulling her hand away. Her hands formed tight fists, and she was shaking with the build-up of emotion.
“I couldn’t kill myself.” April looked at the sword. “God wouldn’t want me to.”
“There is no God!” Robin shouted at her, all of her tightly guarded emotions coming forth at once. Tears spilled from her eyes. “There is no fucking God! There never was!”
Robin turned and ran off. She brushed past the others without saying a word. She didn’t even register their concerned expressions or questions. They had heard
the girls shouting.
Out in the stairwell, Robin began to ascend. Even though she felt cracked, broken, a part of her knew that it was safer going up several floors than heading down to ground level. The floor she exited on was all hallways and offices. She ran between the rows of doors, her mind raging at everything.
The zombies, April, River, Quin.
Her dad, her mom, her brother.
God.
How could God let all the things that happened to Robin happen? Both before and after the dead began to walk, her life had been a series of nightmares. There was no such thing as God, just bad people doing bad things.
The tears in her eyes and the rage in her heart prevented Robin from seeing where she was going. She ran flat out into a male zombie in a blue suit that had stumbled out of the office ahead of her. In a tangle of limbs, they both went down to the carpeted floor. Robin screamed and kicked out, knocking the corpse to one side of the hall. She scrambled to her feet and dashed into the office, intending to close the door behind her. This plan was instantly foiled by the fact that the door had been cracked down the centre and now lay in two pieces on the floor.
The zombie began to get to his feet outside the door. It was slow and uncoordinated, but Robin didn’t want to risk trying to get past him if she didn’t have to. She had no weapons though; the shotgun had been left behind with the others. Searching frantically around the office, she came across a golf trophy. The base was made of heavy marble, but not so heavy that Robin couldn’t lift it.
As the blue-suited zombie took his first unsteady step into the office, Robin swung the base of the trophy into his face. His nose shattered on impact, and he was knocked backward off his feet. Robin leapt upon his chest and used a technique she used against her brother when play fighting. Sitting on his chest, she used both feet to pin the zombie’s arms down on the floor. He was too weak to shove Robin off. Instead of giving him a wet-willy like she did her brother, Robin began swinging the marble base again and again into the zombie’s face. Bone cracked beneath the force of the stone.
Robin began to tire, but she couldn’t stop; the zombie still squirmed beneath her. Again and again, she brought down the trophy, until finally the brain was exposed. Flipping the trophy around, Robin drove the little gold-plated golfer on top into the gap. After shoving hard, the zombie jerked, then fell still.
Once Robin realized it was dead, she scrambled back into the office. She could feel drops of blood on her face and see it on her hands. When she searched it earlier, Robin had found a gym bag in the office and went to it now. Inside were running shoes, workout clothes, a small towel, and a bottle of water. Using the towel and water bottle, Robin began to clean herself up. She was careful with the water, making sure none of it got into her eyes or mouth.
With her arms feeling as if they were going to fall off, Robin crawled into the kneehole of the desk. There, she curled up into the fetal position and cried.
***
Several hours had passed by the time Robin returned to the group. The sun was setting, casting long shadows down the street below. She went over to her sleeping bag and sat on it.
“Run into any trouble?” was the only question she was asked, and she was thankful for that.
“One. But I took care of it.” She looked around the space and noticed April’s absence.
“She’s up one floor if that’s what you’re wondering.” Doyle answered her unasked question as he sat on the floor next to her. “She told us everything. We decided to wait awhile and see what happens. Her leg is tied to some piping we found, and someone with a weapon is always watching over her. If she turns, we’ll take her out, but only if and when.”
Robin nodded.
“You can go see her if you want, but no one will make you.”
“I don’t want to see her.” Robin wanted to remember her as the girl she talked with through the night on a pair of mattresses in a department store, not as the girl tied to a pipe and waiting to die. “I want to find River.”
“Quin does too. We agreed to send a team in the morning, once the sun is up. A handful of us feel bad about leaving him behind. I mean, even if he was totally insane, he’s still a living being, right?”
Robin nodded again. She had come to the same conclusion.
“For now, I suggest you get some sleep.”
She obeyed, lying down on half of the sleeping bag. Doyle went to another part of the room while Quin wandered over. He placed Splatter next to Robin, and the little kitten purred loudly, curling up against her neck.
“Mind if I sleep on the other half of the sleeping bag?” Quin asked. “I’ll try not to roll or snore or anything.”
“Go for it.”
Quin lay down next to her, his back facing hers without touching it. Robin was exhausted from everything that had happened and fell asleep almost the moment her eyes closed.
***
The next day, a team consisting of Quin, Doyle, one other male, and one female, set out to look for River. Robin was told to stay behind. Although she had wanted to go, she didn’t argue. She didn’t want to lead, didn’t want to be responsible for anything. She was happy to follow orders.
All day long, she played with Splatter and talked to Elizabeth. Elizabeth told her about everything she had seen and heard since the outbreak. Robin didn’t ask questions or share her own stories, but Elizabeth seemed totally fine with that. The two of them were the only ones who didn’t have to guard April at some point. Robin did ask Cynthia to tell April why she wasn’t going up to see her, though. When Cynthia came back, she said that April understood.
Robin also constantly looked out the window throughout the day, spying on the streets through a gap in the cubicle walls. Most of the time she saw nothing, or the occasional zombie. Sometimes there would even be a group of zombies moving past. Robin was looking for those who had gone to find River, however, so these did not interest her.
“If everything suddenly went back to normal, what do you think you would do?” Elizabeth asked out of the blue.
“Huh?” Robin had been looking out the window again and wasn’t sure she had caught the question right.
“If the world spontaneously fixed itself, what would you do first? I would take a shower,” Elizabeth told her.
Robin mulled over the question, unsure of what she would actually do. A shower did sound nice, but she would also want to call her brother and tell him that she loved him. She also wanted to go up to her mother, take the bottle out of her hand, and pour the contents down the sink. “Eat a cheeseburger,” she answered before she even knew she was going to say it. “A big, juicy one, with fresh cut fries on the side, and a chocolate milkshake to drink.”
“I’d go with a steak,” Cynthia added. She had been part of their conversation for the last little while.
“Didn’t you once mention you were a vegetarian?” Elizabeth laughed.
“Fuck the animals; it’s every species for themselves until all this shit gets sorted out.”
Elizabeth and Cynthia both started laughing. Robin smiled, perhaps about to laugh herself, but then she caught movement outside the window. It wasn’t a zombie this time, but the SUV that the searchers had taken. She watched it park next to the van and its occupants disembark. River wasn’t among them.
Robin waited impatiently by the door for them to get there and tell her whether he was missing or dead.
“We couldn’t find him,” Doyle broke the news only a second after walking through the door. “The room was empty. We searched as much of the hotel as we could, but if he was there, he didn’t answer our calls.”
“Did you search the surrounding area?”
“We did, but not a lot. A bunch of zombies started closing in. There was no sign of him. He could have gone anywhere; the city is a big place. There’s no way to find out where he went. We’ll keep an eye out for him, but we can’t spend all our time looking.”
Robin nodded. She had known that this would be a possibility, and ev
en that it was the most likely one. She had really hoped for something better, especially with what was going on with April, but she could live with this. At least they had tried to find him, right?
Quin walked over to a desk chair and collapsed into it. Robin walked over to him and took his hand in hers.
“You all right?”
“Not really.”
“Will you be all right?”
“Possibly. In time, maybe.” He squeezed her hand. Robin squeezed back.
The rest of the day was slow. A few teams went out to search for food, water, and weaponry, but neither Robin nor Quin ever went with them. Quin went upstairs once to visit April and tell her how the search for River had gone.
When nightfall came, they slept on the sleeping bag the same way they had the night before, except this time, Quin had pressed his back against Robin’s. The contact wasn’t unpleasant.
***
It was really early in the morning, perhaps three or four, when Robin was shaken awake. She looked up to meet the eyes of Doyle. The light from the flashlight made them hard to read.
“It’s happened. She’s gone.”
Robin didn’t understand his words at first. It took a moment for her to compute. April. He was talking about April. April had turned, and now she was dead.
Robin began to cry. Beside her, she could feel Quin’s body shaking as he cried his own, silent tears. Robin almost wished she could find him some sort of drug, like cocaine, to let him escape this awful nightmare. She almost wished she could find some for herself. Almost.
***
“I’m going up to the roof to see if I can get a better signal,” Doyle spoke about the walkie-talkie in his hand.
“Do you want anyone to come with you?” The canary girl asked.
“Only if you want to. It’s quite the hike up there. I might not even go all the way to the roof, but at least a higher floor.”
“I’ll come,” Robin volunteered.
She, Doyle, and three others, including the canary, left their hideout and began climbing. Robin deliberately avoided looking at the door to the floor above theirs: the one with April’s dead body.
Adaptive Instinct (Survival Instinct) Page 43