“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, knowing it was my fault that he had been punished so cruelly. I was disobeying them, and for my rebellion Christophe was punished instead of me.
“No,” His hand rose, bringing silence upon us, “I am the one who is sorry.”
Out of the corner of the room, the shadows were shifting, unsettled like a current that was building up with speed. Raix’s distinct growl could be heard as he rounded the corner, his paws silent against the floor with each cautious step. I couldn’t see the giant wolf, but I could feel his presence like loose hair strands sitting on my skin. I had never felt more relieved to hear the giant dog’s padded footsteps as I did now.
“We do not usually force Goons to feast, it is meant to come naturally, but in your case we cannot risk you going back.” Christophe stepped up so I could see him clearly, leaning over my body like a doctor over a patient on an operating table.
“Wait? What are you going to do?” The noises were moving around my head, sitting in my blind spot.
“The final Stage of becoming a Reaper, Jordon. You are going to lose your face. It was meant to happen as soon as you die and sparing you the pain. But Raix did not strip you of your identity, allowing you the freedom to walk the earth as both Reaper and as Jordon. We can no longer allow you such a luxury.”
Raix leapt up onto the table by my legs, sniffing my scent through his nostrils as I watched the large animal advance. He was on top of me within seconds, breathing down on my cheeks with the warm grey smoke filtering out of him like steam from a boiled kettle.
“Raix… Raix no, don’t.” I warned while craning me neck away, my brows rose to my hairline in the sudden realization for what Christophe meant by losing my face. There was no way it was as cruel as I imagining. Right? The dryness in my throat didn’t help with my attempt to sound dominate and in control.
“Raix get off the table. Don’t do it, don’t…” But the monstrous Goon moved as if oblivious to my commands. The table groaned as he moved on top, each breath that rolled over my chest only made me tense tighter.
“It has to be done Jordon,” Christophe was by my head now, moving and shifting things around near one of the back corners. When he returned he carried with him a type of lantern that was overflowing with the same silver smoke that poured from Raix’s body. He opened the latch, dosing my face underneath the dust as it clung to my skin like magnets.
The smoke must’ve been a type of pheromone, as soon as it was unleashed Raix’s ears were pinned to his head and his teeth flashed behind his lips. I couldn’t see him through the chaos but I felt everything.
The hot breath as he bit down and lunged towards me exploded like a bomb in my face. The surges of pain rolled through me in quakes underneath my clothes. Raix’s teeth didn’t pierce my skin, not like ripping my flesh from my bones, but he instead inhaled everything inside me like a suction that stole everything that made me - me. My body convulsed by the invasion, how Raix robbed me of a primitive connection I had felt to my identity. I wanted to scream against him but the moving ash inside my body was clogging my wind pipe, throwing my mind downwards into a spiral of madness and confusion.
Every second the heat within me got so unbearable hot, unplucking every nerve along my arms, legs, chest and fingers like digging up nails from a floorboard. The throbbing climbed through my body and wrapped itself around my throat, finally pinching the nerves against my cheeks, jaw, eyes, nose and ears. I couldn’t even cringe or struggle against the attack, my body left completely exposed and open.
The fluttering of my eyes let me see very little. But whatever picture I caught it didn’t make sense. It was just pain. More, unbearable pain but no matter how much I wanted to thrash against him I couldn’t cower away. I wasn’t even given the luxury to scream.
I struggled blindingly till the darkness swept me away mercifully from my body. Tearing me apart and lifting me above the ache and torture Raix was forcing upon me. How wrong was I to think Raix was anything more than a demon dog? That he had a loyalty or a connection to me? Without hesitation he tore me apart from the inside out.
***
Hours later, maybe days, maybe more I finally let light crack from under my eyelids. The light was like a bare flame, making me slam my eyes shut and wished to continue to sleep. A soft grumbling was moving from my left, trying to catch my attention. When I finally did open my eyes again, I was in a strange room looking up at an unfamiliar roof. I was on a bed, unrestrained this time, and the room was left in a silent stillness. Raix was next to my side, grunting about something. As bitter as I was, I couldn’t remain mad at him.
I reached up and gingerly dab my fingertips along my face, trying to feel for wounds. My skin was numb but otherwise unscratched.
When I got to the mirror to check my reflection, I still looked the same except for the ash blond hair and silver eyes. Unlike before, I would transform between my brown hair and brown eyes to this… Reaper state, but now it seems to be my only face. I pulled at my skin, trying to see if there was a mask deceiving me before I got my phone and took a picture with it. When flipping it over the image returned to me wasn’t what I was expecting. The face was neutral, forgettable, plain and smudged.
I stared at it for ages, but I couldn’t pick up a single detail that stood out. Even a second after looking at the photo, and pulling the phone away, did I forget everything about the boy instantly. It was a generic face. A face that belonged to nobody yet it also belonged to everybody.
I sat myself back down, head bent down in between my knees trying to catch my breath before I fell to my panic. He had done it. Raix had stolen my face, taken my identity from me. No… it wasn’t Raix, it was Christophe. The Reapers. Raix acted on command, it was nothing more than that.
“I’m glad to see you’re awake.” Elliot walked in from the other room. He glanced over briefly before returning his focus onto the orange he was tending to. He was peeling the skin back, letting the orange coat drop in pieces to the floor. “I should’ve warned you.”
I sat abruptly upwards, “You knew they were going to do this to me?”
“They had to, eventually. I didn’t know when though. You can stay here with me till you find your own place. It won’t be easy; no identity means you can’t really interact with these people anymore. Definitely no paying job so money is scarce. A lot of us just steal, just enough to get by.”
“But… what about my family?”
“You don’t get a family anymore. You’re a Reaper Jordon; we don’t get families or holidays or happily ever after. We work till we can’t work anymore and then…”
“And then?”
Elliot inhaled deeply, motioning for me to follow him out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Elliot was taller than me as he stood facing the open window, the busy life down below among the streets barely a whisper inside his home. The apartment was bare. No pictures. No personal items. Not even rubbish or groceries proving that anyone lived here. I stood next to Elliot on weak knees, still feeling the concreted pain of Raix’s attack like it was a lingering headache. I don’t think I would ever be able to forget it.
“Do you know what happened to Raix’s last Reaper?” Elliot asked as he kept his face turned to the window. The light was leaking in with soft white strokes, lighting up his ash blonde hair and setting his eyes aglow like illuminated night bugs. I shook my head no.
He continued, “Raix’s last owner was called Angela, a woman in her thirties. Beyond that I didn’t know anything about her; she worked as the rest of us worked, alone. Through Christophe, I had heard that Angela was sent on a job to collect the soul of a young man called Thomas. It was just bad luck that the boy was her first born son, dying at the hands of a drink driving accident. He had rammed into a pole, torn through the tank and was leaking fuel at an alarming rate. It was only a matter of time before the car exploded. He had a foul smell, like that shadow ghost, so she knew he was destined to be banished. Unable to bring her son in, Angela instead dragged him from
the wreckage and saved his life. Hunters found out of course, and as punishment they forced Raix to destroy her.”
I gulped, feeling the knot of my anxiety struggle down my throat.
“Goons aren’t meant to destroy their Reapers, it’s unnatural. I had never witness a Goon withdraw into depression like he had. It almost got so bad that the other Reapers didn’t know what to do with him; a loose Goon was like a loose rabid raccoon, no control and no regard for protocol. On the night that he was going to be destroyed, I was sent to fetch him and bring him in to the Hunters. But then Raix found you. Dying from head trauma. And just like that life was kicked back into that over large wolf’s body. Even though your existence to him is the line between life and death, if commanded a Goon will destroy its Reaper. You mean the world to him… but that doesn’t mean he won’t eliminate you.”
He stepped away from the window, finally taking a bite into the plumb orange. His eyebrows were lowered and stern, completely serious.
“So we’re helpless?” I questioned.
“Against Hunters, yes. We are toys, weapons, things to be controlled. Being chained to the Goons is like being tied to a loaded gun with the trigger half pulled back. If Hunters lost their power over the Goons, it would be a completely different story. We will be much stronger than they are. We wouldn’t be confined to the shadows and forced to stay down below in limbo land while everyone we love moves into the other spirit realms.”
“There’s no way of escaping this?”
“None.”
We both sat in silence, sat in the eternal thought that our existence had withered down to faceless nobodies transporting souls to and from the drop off. Any type of hope that there was of an escaped was squashed quickly and ruthlessly. Hunters didn’t have the room to allow Reapers to stretch, to feel like they had a fighting chance of stepping away from their reaping duties and actually become a part of the spirit world with the rest of their families. Elliot walked around the kitchen bench, watching me cautiously. Glancing over at him, I barely felt like I belonged to this world. Perhaps I didn’t anymore.
“I saw Christophe.” I admitted.
“What? He’s back?”
“Yeah. He looked like crap though. He was the one that commanded Raix to… well you know.” I glanced back down and over a little fearfully to Raix. He was curled among the floor, neck up and ears pointed trying to catch every word that dropped from my mouth. He still looked as vicious as ever, black tar scales wrapped tightly to his skeleton, the silvery acid exhausted with each breath.
“I want to go back.”
Elliot cocked his eyebrow at me as I felt his eyes tighten against my face.
“Just one more time, I didn’t get to properly say goodbye to them. To Mark and Evan.”
“They will not recognise you”
“I don’t care.”
“It is not wise, but if it gives you closure…” Elliot nodded in understanding, “You go. I’m going to remain here for a while. Raix knows the scent of my house; he’ll be able to get you back.”
Chapter Eleven:
When I reached back home nothing was the same. I walked alienated from everyone else. I was a stranger. A nobody. Not a single person looked at me or at my face. It wasn’t like I was invisible it was more like they chose to ignore me. They moved out of my way as I walked forward but aside from that I felt forgotten. Avoided like the plague.
When I eventually got to Mark’s place there were cars all lined up the street outside his house and parked over the lawn. Standing outside the door was Mark’s dad; he was wearing a sadden smile and was dressed in a black shirt. He was welcoming people in, giving each person a firm yet brief handshake before stepping aside so they could enter into his home. I waited on the other side of the street, casting a long look over the house and at the window on the second level on the right. That was Mark’s room. My back slumped into the fence as it shuddered.
The guilt was unbearable. I couldn’t cast aside that looping thought, that persistent nagging that I had driven Mark to his death. Oh god… I had killed my own best friend.
The words only grew fatter and heavier with weight the more they circled my mind. And like poison, I could feel my body buckle underneath the bulk. I felt like a curse. An omen. I almost expected Mark’s dad to come charging from across the street, pointing at me with an accusing finger and wishing I was dead instead of his son. Guess that was too late. I am dead, but at least I still can walk the earth and see my family. Even so, that gave me very little reassurances. My family was only a block or so away, but they couldn’t be any further from me if they tried.
I don’t know how long I sat there; a part of me wishing to be invited into the house and the other part just wanting to sink back into the numb shadows of a Reaper. When Anita arrived, she glanced out across the street before she was greeted by Mark’s dad. I perked up against the fence as if she had looked out to me, sensing my presence. Stepping out of his car Luke was quick to be at her side. My chest tightened and my eyes narrowed, every breath that shot out of me only fuelled my rage at seeing him. Luke stepped first into the house whereas Anita appeared to elect to stay back for a bit. Mark’s dad spoke to her briefly as she glanced out again, her brows pinched in a look of concern.
I dared to walk closer. They were talking about something but before I could catch what; both of them stepped inside. Before the door could close, I was already gone.
I rounded the corner and threw my cloak back, already able to feel my legs running. Where was I going? I didn’t know. I kept moving faster and harder, trying to throw myself away from these feelings. I didn’t stop till I reached the market place, but even the busiest place in Whitehaven barely had any warmth. I sat down lost with my face in my palms. Such tension was tightening within me, suffocating me, trying to choke me down into misery. And as I sat in a puddle of self-pity people walked around without as much as a glance. God! They wouldn’t even look at me; they wouldn’t even help a grieving stranger on a park bench. Even if my face was masked over, wouldn’t they still see that I was suffering?
I stood and moved away from the noise of the markets and made my way down the street, passing by the shop fronts when I felt my body reel back and abruptly stop. A simple piece of paper hooked my eyes and anchored my shoes to the concreted ground. Undeniable it was me. My face, my past face I should say, was pressed against the glass. It was in colour, a school photo where my tie was pinched to my throat and my hair swept cleanly to the side.
I moved closer so I could scan down the page, noting how it listed my description like a wanted ad. How long was I unconscious for? Long enough that my family had put out a warrant for my return. As my eyes unfocused on the picture and back on my reflection peering in, I still looked like myself minus the hair and eye colour change. And of course, the demonic tattoo that stained the right side of my face and down my neck.
Just as I stepped away from the poster two police officers walked past with bundles of paper in their grasp, my face inked into every sheet. The world fell silent as they glanced up at me, looked past me and stopped at the pole I was standing next to. With a staple gun they nailed the poster to the wood and stepped away. I craned my neck over my shoulder, catching the image of myself smiling back. At that moment, I guess it really hit home that I had disappeared. Such a cruel curse that they put upon me.
I summoned Raix to take me back to Elliot’s place but when I got there the apartment was empty. I lingered about for an hour waiting for him to return from a job. Bored to tears I eventually went venturing downstairs and across the streets, helping myself to some take away Chinese food that was dosed in far too much satay sauce. I sat at a park bench, enjoying the sunset reds and cool afternoon breeze. I had no reaping duties that were burning my eyes and urging me to wonder the streets looking for the next soul so I happily wasted my time basking in silence. I had even started conversation up with a lone man pushing a trolley overloaded with boxes, quilts and empty bottles but even he se
emed uninterested in me and trotted on with his savaging. It wasn’t that he couldn’t see or hear me, he acknowledged me when I spoke but the conversation ended there.
Once it hit midnight and I was back at home, I felt something inside my gut churn. It wasn’t due to the take away food I’m sure, but it was something else that felt heavy as if I was carrying stones.
“Raix….” I summoned as Raix shifted through the shadows above my head. “I need to you to find Elliot for me.”
The giant wolf eyes flickered to mine for just a moment before the beast evaporated from the room all together. I swear I could hear his massive padded paws running through the halls just behind the front door and galloping out into the streets. I must’ve fallen asleep at some point because I woke startled when I felt my back suddenly hit the ground and my body being dragged across the floorboards. I kicked against the tight grip that clung to my leg, blinded momentarily by the darkness of the room before Raix’s internal glow broke against the black.
“Raix? What are you doing? Stop it!” He dragged me across the floor on my back, steering me into the wall at one stage before attempting to take me through the front door without opening it first. Obviously I hit the wood and stopped whereas Raix stepped through; at impact he let my legs go.
“Stupid dog!”
I leapt up, fixed up my clothes before I pulled the hoodie of the cloak over myself. To reframe from suspicion, the cloak was able to adapt to my surroundings, picking up the fashion style and mimicking it so I never looked out of place. I could walk through the gardens of monks and blend in; I could turn up to a heavy metal rock concert and be welcomed as one of their own. But once the hood is set over my head it casts my body under a sheet of transparent cloth, making me invisible and untouchable. Once the spell was cast I could follow Raix among the other realm of spirits and ghosts. He took me back to The Drop off where I was greeted by Teresa and her stern vulture body guard.
My Demonic Ghost Book two (The Reapers 2) Page 10