This is not good. "But what did you ask for?" Eric asked.
"Oh, never mind that now," Beth said crossly, wiping at her eyes. "I screwed up. It happens. We can go into it later. Right now, I don't think you should keep Chinthliss or your other friends waiting—and I want to hear the rest of the story—the real story, including the parts you left out just now."
* * *
Eric wasn't sure where his own clothes had gotten to, but the ones the geisha servants had laid out for him when he returned to the bedroom were lavish enough to replace even the finery of an Underhill Bard—wide pants in heavy black silk that shimmered in the sunlight, a dark red ghi top woven in a geometric brocade and a long gray and maroon robe embroidered with birds and flowering trees to go over it, held in place with a long gold sash. For his feet, there were ankle boots of soft doeskin leather, held closed with a carved jade button at the outside of each ankle. I've worn weirder stuff. But I feel like an extra in Shogun.
When he was dressed, Ria rang for Charles, and Chinthliss' butler conducted the four of them to the very English drawing room that Eric had seen before.
Kayla and the four Guardians were there waiting for them, along with a fox-faced young human man with unkempt black hair, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans. The others were wearing opulent Oriental garb similar to Eric and Ria's—except for Kayla, who had somehow managed to convince Chinthliss or his servants to provide her with an approximation of her glitterpunk garb—tight silver-scaled leggings mostly covered with black thigh-high stiletto-heeled boots, and a brief tube top that looked as if it was made of marabou feathers. Her face was elaborately painted in geisha fashion—Kayla's notion of a concession to the prevailing dress code—and her silver batwing earrings flashed in her ears.
Eric was relieved to see that the others all appeared well and healthy—Toni's face wasn't even bruised—though Paul looked as if he were bursting with a thousand unasked questions. Even Hosea's banjo was restrung with shining silver strings.
Good as new, whatever that means in this situation. I hope Jeanette's all right. She did her best for us back in the Chaos Lands. Without her, we might never have made it out of Aerune's dream.
"My, my, my—you're looking good these days, Eric," Toni said with a grin and a nod toward his Oriental finery. She came over and enfolded him in a quick fierce hug. "For a while there we were wondering if you were ever going to wake up."
"Slugabed," Hosea said, with a broad smile. "Glad to see you back on your feet."
"Glad to have feet to be back on," Eric said. "Folks, I'd like you to meet two other friends of mine, Beth and Kory. Guys, you've already met Toni Hernandez from when I moved in, and you remember Kayla, but this is Paul—José—and Hosea, who in addition to being a Guardian, is also an apprentice Bard."
"An' this is Tannim," Kayla said, pulling the dark-haired man over to greet Eric. "He drives race-cars for a living. How cool is that?"
"She makes it sound more glamorous than it is," Tannim said, smiling. "I'm really more of a test driver, not a competition racer." He held out his hand, and Eric shook it, feeling the hard calluses of a mechanic's hands beneath his grip.
"You're with Elfhame Fairgrove, aren't you?" Eric asked. The Fairgrove elves took a far more active part in the world than the elves of Elfhame Misthold.
Tannim grinned wider. "What can I say? I've always had a taste for fast cars and low company, which is probably why I hang out with Chinthliss so much. But I never thought I'd meet another Guardian—let alone four of them."
"You've met Guardians before?" Eric asked, surprised.
"One, once. At my high school prom, if you can believe that, so don't ever let anyone tell you that Oklahoma is dull. But we'll have to save that story for another occasion, because I've got the feeling the show's about to start."
As if speaking his name aloud a few moments before had summoned him up—and in Underhill, such a thing wasn't as impossible as it seemed—the double doors at the far end of the salon opened and Chinthliss strode in.
"Ah, my young friends. I hope the day finds you well? Now that you are rested, I am eager to hear all that transpired."
The party seated themselves in comfortable chairs arrayed around a low table laden with cups and half a dozen carafes of wine and juice. Chinthliss waited until everyone had served him or herself with their beverage of choice, then folded his hands and regarded them all expectantly.
"Well," Eric said hesitantly. Everyone was staring at him—even Ria—expecting him to start things off. "I guess it more-or-less started the night Aerune showed up at the apartment building, but maybe the real beginning was a few weeks ago when I was coming home from school and found Hosea busking in the subway. . . ."
The tale took longer to tell to Chinthliss' satisfaction than Eric had expected, with each of the others contributing their own version of the events they'd taken part in.
Beth and Kory added the full story of their meeting with the Men In Green at Glitterhame Neversleeps, which did seem to be tied up somehow with Aerune's plans, though "now" in the World Above for Eric and the others was still August, and Beth and Kory's "now" was November.
When I get out of this, no more trips to Underhill for a long time. Time travel—if that's what it is—makes my head hurt! One more paradox, and I think it'll melt completely.
At last they had finally answered all of Chinthliss' questions as well as they could. Telling the story over also helped them to sort it out in their own minds—if what they remembered wasn't exactly what had happened, it was close enough for folk music and government work, as the saying went.
"So . . . what now?" Toni asked, looking around the table.
"Now, my young friends, you return to your own worlds and your own lives," Chinthliss said. "Do your best to forget what transpired on your journey through the fair and treacherous realms of Underhill, remembering only what you must. It will be more . . . comfortable for you thus."
"I don't know," Toni said consideringly. "Comfort has never been really high on the Guardians' list of priorities. And I think this is going to put a whole new spin on the way we look at the world."
"Amen to that," Paul said. "Knowing about Underhill, that it exists—that elves exist, and dragons . . . it explains so much."
"And raises as many questions as it answers," Chinthliss said, not unkindly. "Or so you will find. But for now you will do as seems good to you, and perhaps I can offer you one last word of warning, before you return to your own place and time: to think too much about a thing is often to call it to you, for good or ill."
"I don't know that we've got much to worry about there," Paul said. "Any elf that shows up in New York City is more likely to get mugged than be able to make trouble."
"As you say," Chinthliss said, nodding gravely. "But now you will be anxious to return to your home and loved ones. The battle you have fought has been a greater boon to Underhill than you can easily guess, for if the Sidhe-Lord Aerune's plans had borne their intended fruit, it would have brought great disruption to this realm. And so in gratitude for all your labors, let me extend you one last small courtesy, and convey you swiftly and safely back to your own place—and time."
There was a moment of silent consultation, and Toni shrugged minutely, getting to her feet. "Sure. Thanks. I'm not sure how long we've been gone, but the kids are probably driving their aunt crazy by now."
"My little ones will miss me," José said, rising to his feet as well.
"And Columbia will miss Kayla," Ria said meaningfully, regarding Kayla.
"Eric?" Paul asked.
"You guys go on ahead. I've got a few things to take care of here—if that's alright with you, Lord Chinthliss?"
The dragon lord bowed his head in agreement. "Please accept my hospitality for as long as you care to enjoy it, Bard Eric. And now, my young friends, if you would care to accompany me . . . ?"
Chinthliss left the room, ushering the others before him.
"I think I've gotta go water s
ome plants or something," Tannim said, grinning as he got to his feet. "You folks look like you've got serious stuff to discuss." He followed Chinthliss out, and they could hear him start to whistle before the doors to the salon closed again, shutting off the sound from the corridor.
Eric looked at Beth and Kory.
"Okay. I've been patient. Give."
* * *
"This is the library," Beth said, a few minutes later.
Eric stared at a room the approximate size of the Houston Astrodome, completely full of books.
" `Free access to his library, and all it contains,' " Kory quoted bitterly. "That is what we bargained for, and that is what we received. But there is no catalogue of these holdings, no order to them—and no way to find the information we seek."
"Ah, there you are," Chinthliss said, strolling into the room. "You will be pleased to know that your friends are all returned safely to their homes, the very day they left them—though Mistress Ria did say something about needing a tow truck for a Rolls Royce. Splendid vehicles," Chinthliss said musingly.
"You tricked them," Eric said hotly, unable to contain his anger. "You tricked my friends!"
Chinthliss gazed from Eric to Beth, his face blank with surprise. "But I did not. They asked for the use of my library, and bargained well for the privilege."
"Because they thought they could find what they needed here. You told them they could—you told them the information was here," Eric accused, unable to stop himself.
"And it is," Chinthliss said, sounding even more baffled at Eric's anger.
"Dragons are notorious packrats," Tannim said, coming out of the stacks, holding a book. "But nobody ever said they were organized. He didn't cheat your friends, Eric. The old lizard is used to just hunting through things until he finds what he's looking for—I told you that you needed a librarian for this pile, didn't I?" he said to Chinthliss.
"And refused to undertake the task yourself," Chinthliss said, sounding hurt. He looked hopefully at Beth. "Never would I have made a shoddy bargain with you, Lady Beth. The book you seek is indeed here."
"Somewhere," Kory muttered under his breath.
"All that remains is to call it forth," Chinthliss said.
"Which means calling in a little help," Tannim added.
"And that's where I come in," a familiar voice said out of nowhere.
Beth turned around. Eric stared.
There was a cartoon fox, standing in Chinthliss' library about twenty feet off the floor. It was wearing a red James Dean jacket and a gold pendant around its neck that said "FX," and instead of one tail, it had three. On its long vulpine nose were perched a pair of overlarge black horn-rimmed glasses giving the creature an unconvincing intellectual look.
"Do you know him?" Eric asked Beth.
"Know him!" Beth yelped. "He's— I— If I'd just listened to him back at the Goblin Market— That's Foxtrot-X-Ray," Beth finished weakly, disbelieving mirth bubbling in her voice. "He's a kitsune—a fox-spirit. Kory and I have met him before."
As they watched, Fox sank slowly toward the floor, walking in neat circles as though descending an invisible spiral staircase.
"Heya, cupcake, dry those tears. When you absolutely positively have to have something yesterday, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you? Just—"
"The book, Fox?" Tannim asked, trying to hide a smile of his own.
"Oh, that." Fox reached into his jacket, and produced a book approximately as large as he was. It had a red leather binding and gold clasps, and had several gold ribbons bound into it to serve as bookmarks. "Here it is. Dixon's Guide to Interspecies Reproduction, Fifth Edition. I've marked your place." He held the book out to Beth, smiling coaxingly.
Beth took the volume, staggering under its weight—it was heavier than Fox had made it look. With Kory to help her hold it, she opened it to the page the gold ribbon bookmark indicated.
" `To conceive a child of the Sidhe by lawful means—' " she read aloud, and skipped quickly through the entry. "It says the magic of two Bards working in harmony is needed to channel the power of Underhill to the mortal partner. Two Bards! You were at the ceileighe, Eric—getting two Bards to do anything together is like trying to herd cats!"
Eric grinned, and leaned across the book to kiss Beth on the nose. "Well, almost. But not always, as it turns out. Hosea isn't a full Bard yet, but he will be, soon, and we work together just fine. So I'd say that if this book is right, it looks like there won't be any problem with you giving Maeve a little brother or sister when the time comes."
Beth stared, and slowly dejected disbelief turned to radiant happiness, her eyes sparkling with tears of hope. "But will he—? Would he—?"
"He will, and he would," Eric said firmly, recklessly promising Hosea's aid as he closed the book. He already knew enough of the big man's character to feel safe in making such an offer. Kory handed the tome back to Fox, who staggered under its weight this time.
"And I think that calls for a little celebration."
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