by Autumn Avery
No, if this is going to work we both have to be on equal footing, and letting Derek put himself in that position is not the way to go about it.
Max throws the ball back and it hits me right in the chest. I realize I’ve drifted off into space as I think about his father. Max laughs.
“Catch, mommy!” He squeals. I smile back and pick up the ball, holding it like I’m going to hurl it at him.
“So do you!” I tease him. “Are you gonna catch this one!?”
Max nods emphatically. I pull my arm way back like I know what I’m doing.
“Here it comes!”
Of course I don’t throw it as hard as I can. I lob it to him and he catches it with ease.
“Good job!” I say, my voice overflowing with praise.
I wish Derek was here to see this…
“Hey, girl!” I almost jump out of my pants at Georgina’s cheery voice behind me. She must have let herself in – as always. I turn around as she drapes an arm over me and sits down beside me.
“Georgina, you scared the crap out of me.”
“Hello, Joegeena!” Max says. He still hasn’t quite gotten her name down.
“Hey, big boy! Where’d you get that football?”
“Momma gave it to me!” He says, throwing it up in the air and catching it.
Georgina turns to me and gives me a look that only best friends can give one another.
“It’s from Derek,” I admit. “He came by last night.”
“Oh, lord,” Georgina says with a sigh. She’s been having boy problems lately so I don’t imagine she’s going to be very sympathetic. “Men. Am I right?”
“I think he’s the one, Georgina,” I say softly.
“Say what!?” She gasps. “Are you kiddin’ me? The guy who fucked you and left you!?—”
“Shhhh!” I scold her. “Max will hear you!”
“The guy who fucked you and left you?” She repeats in a whisper. “He’s the one all of a sudden?”
I understand her reaction. I’d probably say the same thing if I hadn’t been filled in yet.
“His dad died,” I tell her. “That’s why he left. He was gone for a long time and when he came looking for me – he didn’t know how to get in touch with me.”
“Oh, come on—”
“He didn’t have my number,” I explain. “I’d quit the diner – moved. He couldn’t find me.”
Georgina gives me a skeptical look, but I can see a bit of understanding in her eyes. She’s been dating this goon named Tyrone from Greensburg, two towns over, and he’s been nothing but trouble since day one.
Georgina said she was okay not being in a relationship with him, but it was obvious she was just saying that, and he knew it. But instead of manning up and making her his girlfriend, he kept her as a casual fuck buddy, and instead of Georgina telling him that’s not what she wanted, she just kept going with it. And it’s taking its toll on her.
“He said he was willing to prove to me he was the man for me and Max,” I tell her.
“Do you believe him?”
I nod slowly. “Yes. But I don’t want to make him prove anything to me. I want to be with him.”
Saying it out loud somehow makes my decision even more real and sends butterflies fluttering through my stomach.
“Would you mind watching him for an hour?”
“What – you’re gonna go over there now?” Georgina says with disbelief. “At this hour?”
“Yes,” I say firmly. “He’ll be up.”
“How do you know?”
“I just know.”
I stand up and call out to Max. “Max, honey? Aunt Georgina is going to watch you for an hour while I go out. Okay?”
“Yay!” Max cries out, tossing his football at Georgina. It hits her right in the forehead and she turns to me with a look that says “I hate you.”
“Thanks, Georgie,” I say. With a pat on her back, I head into the house, grab my keys and hop in the car.
I’m a bundle of nerves as I pull out of the driveway, but it’s a good thing. This is what I want. This is what needs to happen. Derek is who I want and I am who he wants and there’s nothing that’s going to keep us from being together now.
21
Derek O’Toole
Derek O’Toole
I don’t know whether to throw up or freak the fuck out and tear my house down. Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think the person standing in front of me when I opened the door would be her…
Shannon. My bitch of an ex-wife.
“Hey, sweet pea,” she says to me with a voice that lets me know she’s not sure she should be here. “How ya been?”
Sweet pea…
She always used to call me that. At first I didn’t like it. It’s just so Southern and corny and didn’t seem to fit me. But it grew on me, because it was her name for me. But now, hearing it come out of her lips, after everything that’s happened between us, makes me want to kill somebody.
I’m not a violent man – and I would never hurt a woman, but I wish I had a bunch of shit I could smash right now or something.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Shannon?” Just saying her name sets my lips on fire. I clench both fists at my side as my heart rate skyrockets. When she speaks, I can smell the booze on her breath.
“I left Brian,” she says, slightly slurring her words. It’s amazing she made it here in the car in this shape.
It hurts to see her again. She used to be so beautiful, but I can tell the years have taken a toll on her. It’s not her age – it’s something else. Maybe just the way she’s been living or the way she feels inside coming to the surface, but she doesn’t look like the girl I fell in love with way back when.
I don’t even know what to say. I never thought I’d see her again – or Brian. Just hearing her voice and his name starts to send my mind back to the old days and makes me shiver. I don’t like that place. It’s filled with bad memories of a man that I no longer feel like I am.
I’ve changed so much since Shannon – from the committed man to the playboy, to the man I now am and want to be for Tammy. Even if I wanted to get back with her, I am not the person she remembers anymore.
“And I care why?” I finally say, my voice filled with venom.
“Don’t you want to know why?” She asks me, pulling aimlessly on her twisted brown hair.
“No, Shannon. I don’t.”
“Because I still love you,” she tells me anyway. I saw that coming a mile away, but her words still claw at my ears.
“Shannon—” I start to say, but she steps right up to me and puts a hand on my chest. Her touch is like a shock to my system – something I never thought I’d feel again, and I recoil like I’ve been stung by a hornet.
“He’s half the man you are, Derek,” she wails, stepping closer to me. I back away into the house, but she follows me inside. “I thought I loved him. But I was wrong…I love…youuuu.”
“No, you don’t, Shannon,” I say, trying to keep my anger from taking over. “You never loved me. You used me. You lied to me. You tried to steal from me—”
“Only because I loved you!”
“That makes no fucking sense, Shannon.”
“I know,” she says, looking at the ground as she moves closer to me. “Nothing makes sense…Brian doesn’t make sense…life doesn’t make sense…”
This is unbelievable. Dealing with sad drunk girls is enough of a pain in the ass without it having to be your ex-wife who cheated on you with your best friend and lied to you about being pregnant with your child.
I have to get her out of here. But Shannon’s the kind of girl who reacts – overreacts when you try to control her in any way. If I try to get her to leave, she might just throw a fit. I wouldn’t put it past her to call the cops and tell her I hit her or something.
Of course, they wouldn’t believe her. The boys around here all know me, what kind of guy I am, and have even come to some of the parties when they were off duty. They know
about Shannon and our history, so it’s not like I’d end up in jail or anything, but it’s just more headache that I’d like to avoid.
So then what do I do!?
I guess I could be the one to call the cops, but again, it seems like a big headache. But the way she’s acting now – it doesn’t seem like I’m going to be able to get her to go quietly. Come to think of it, I don’t even know where she lives right now. But that’s not my problem. The cops could deal with that.
Fuck it, I give in. Call them.
I reach for my phone, but Shannon lunges forward and grabs my wrist. She presses her body against mine and looks up at me with total fuck-me eyes.
“Just be with me again, Derek,” she whispers. “Just beeee with me. Even if it’s just one more time. I know – I know I fucked things up with you and you probably hate me…but I need you…”
Her hand slides down my stomach and tightens around my cock. I try to pull away, but she slides her other hand around my waist and clings to me.
“Just beee with me, Derek!” She’s pleading with me and it disgusts me. The bitch that broke my heart and made my life a living Hell is asking me to fuck her again. She doesn’t even have the decency to apologize and tell me she wants me. No, she just wants to “beee” with me. She bails on Brian, gets hammered, drives here and tries to fuck me. Unbelievable.
“Get off me, Shannon,” I say, grabbing her wrist and pulling her arm from my waist. But she’s stronger than she looks and wraps her other arm around me and grabs a fistful of my shirt.
“Don’t push me away, Derek,” she whispers. The smell of liquor on her breath makes my stomach turn. “I need you…”
Shannon shoves her free hand down my shorts and grabs my cock like she owns it. I practically jump out of my skin, but before I can react, she grabs my chin and kisses me.
“What the fuck!?”
I hear a voice screaming from the front door and panic hits me like a bucket of cold water. I tear my lips away from Shannon’s and look.
Tammy is standing in the front door, a look of horror on her face.
“I knew it,” she says as tears begin streaming from her eyes. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”
22
Tammy
Tammy
“Tammy, wait!” I shout after her as she races out the front door. I try to run to her, but Shannon still has her hand down my pants and another arm wrapped around my waist. “Get the fuck off me!”
I try to tear myself away from her, but she jumps on me like a spider and wraps her fucking legs around me. I feel her nails dig into my back.
“Fuck! Tammy!”
I shout again and stumble forward, but it’s impossible to move. Shannon’s like a rope twisted around my ankles. Finally, I grab her wrists with both hands and pull. She falls backwards but still has me with her legs, and I topple to the floor with her.
“Don’t leave me, Derek!” She blathers into my ear. I look up as Tammy pulls her car door open. She can’t leave!
I pry Shannon’s legs off me, but as soon as I’m free, she latches her arms around my neck.
“Get off!” I shout. But it’s no good. “Tammy!”
“Just beee with me, Derek!”
This can’t be happening!
“Shannon, get the fuck off me!” I almost lose it. If this was a guy holding on to me I would have slammed his head into the floor and kicked him out of the way, but it’s Shannon, and I don’t know how to handle this.
I manage to get one hand around both of her wrists and use my other hand to pull her left leg off me. Getting my feet under me, I manage to stand up and jump over her and move toward the door. She manages to grab my ankle, but I kick her off and race outside.
But it’s too late. Tammy’s already in the car. Her engine roars and her tires squeal as she hits the gas and all I can do is stand there like an idiot as she peels away from me.
“Fuck!” I scream, my fists balled so tight they hurt. I want to break something. I want to breathe fire and watch my stupid fucking house burn down. How the fuck is this happening?
Fuck it. I’ll go after her!
I turn back and leap up the steps and race back into the house. My keys are on the counter. I step over Shannon, who this time doesn’t try to grab me, and head into the kitchen. There they are. I grab them and rush toward the door.
“I’ve got to go,” I say to Shannon, who is still lying in a heap on the floor. “You better be gone when I get back—”
But as I go to shut the door behind me, I look at Shannon and realize she’s not moving. She must have passed out. Goddamn it!
My first thought is just to leave her there. So she’s had too much to drink. So what? She made my life Hell once already – I’m not letting her do it again. Plenty of people have passed out drunk on the floor of this house. What’s one more? But when I look at her, that’s when I see it.
She’s thrown up and it looks like there’s more just dripping from her mouth. This looks like something worse than just being drunk.
Did she take something?
I look out the door in time to see Tammy’s car vanish out of sight. I turn my car keys over in my hand. This girl doesn’t deserve anything from me. I don’t owe her anything. But if there’s really something wrong with her, I have to do the right thing.
“Fuck me,” I curse as I drop to my knees beside Shannon. “Shannon? Shannon!”
I raise my voice but she doesn’t respond. As I lift her head, more vomit spills out of her mouth onto the floor. She’s lifeless like a rag doll. I slap her on the cheek and shout.
“Shannon! Wake the fuck up!”
But there’s no response. She lies limp in my arms.
“Goddamn it, Shannon. Goddamn it!”
This definitely isn’t just being too drunk. Something else is going on here. I don’t know if she took something or what. But what I do know, is she has to get to the hospital – now.
I lift her easily into my arms and carry her out the front door, down the steps and over to my car. I manage to unlock it and get her into the back seat. I can get her there faster than it will take an ambulance to get here. I guess that’s one plus of having a ridiculously expensive fast car.
I get into the front seat and gun it. Fuck the stop signs. Fuck the traffic signals. I skip them all as I blow through town. The worst part about all this, is even with Shannon in my back seat, all fucked up and needing medical attention, I can’t stop thinking about Tammy.
I want to take every turn I know will lead me to her house, but I can’t. I’ve got this ghost of my past back to haunt me and take hold of my life again. But as much as I hate her – as much as she hurt me, I can’t just leave her.
On Main Street I cut off a red truck and take a hard right toward Route Ten. He blares his horn but I don’t give a shit. I blow the light at the intersection and gun it, going sixty in a thirty-five. I see a cop at his usual speed trap by the gas station and hit the gas. By the time I’m up the road there’s no way he’ll ever be able to catch me, and even if he did, there’s no way I’m stopping.
The hospital’s a mile up the road. I skip every light there, almost collide with a station wagon pulling out of the grocery store, and take the hard left down the hospital entrance road.
I toss my hazards on and park at the curb, leaving room for the ambulance. Shannon’s still not moving in the back. Adrenaline is coursing through my body like a torrential downpour as I yank open the door to the back seat and pull Shannon from the car.
Her head hangs over my arm as I race toward the sliding doors to the emergency room. I hear the hiss as they part and I storm inside.
“Help! Help! I need help here!”
The nurse behind the desk sees me and leaps up and yanks open a door. She shouts something and another nurse comes rushing out. They both race over to me.
“I – I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” I stammer. “She came over to my house – I thought she was drunk but she passed out—”
“I don’t know!” I shout, my heart ready to burst. “I told you! She just came over. I turned around and she was lying there on the floor! She – she threw up! I grabbed her and brought her here!”
The doors to the ER open and someone comes out with a gurney. The nurses help me set her down and start wheeling her away.
“What’s her name?”
“Shannon!” I call after them.
“Okay, we’ll take care of her now,” one of the nurses tells me as they head through the door. “You did good bringing her here.”
The door shuts behind them and I sit down, right on the floor. If my heart rate goes any higher I might be the one who needs a doctor. What a fucking night. I can tell the nurses were giving me an odd look when I didn’t follow them back there. They know who I am, and I’m sure they think she’s just another one of my girls and I don’t give a shit about her. I should probably be back there with her, but I can’t. It’s just too much. And if I’m the first person she sees when she wakes up…
She’ll be fine, I tell myself. I know she will.
She wasn’t out long enough for there to be any real danger, and now she’s at the hospital. They’ll take good care of her. They deal with stuff like this all the time I’m sure.
What is Tammy going to think!?
She must be fucking heartbroken. Just the thought of what she must be feeling is enough to make me want to kill somebody. Everything was going right. Well – maybe not right but things were at least on track to maybe start heading toward some sort of reconciliation or resolution or something. And now everything is fucked.
Now the real question is – should I leave and go see her? Or do I wait here until Shannon wakes up?
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