Losing Pieces of Me

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Losing Pieces of Me Page 9

by Briner, Rose


  “I have no idea what I’m doing right now. I want to give this a try because for some reason I’m very attracted to you, but I don’t know the first thing about any of this.”

  He straightens and comes towards me. He doesn’t stop until I am forced to take a few steps away from him.

  “You’ve never had a man do this to you?” he leans down and bites the side of my neck. I groan in response. “Or this?” he reaches his hands around my back and runs them down my back until he reaches my ass and smacks it playfully.

  “Jayden,” I groan when he grinds his body against me and playfully bites me again.

  “Say it again,” he growls.

  “Say what?” I gasp when he brings his hands back around my front to grasp my tits.

  “My name, say it again,” he breathes, reaching up and lowering my dress so my bra is exposed again.

  “Jayden,” I repeat, throwing my head back when he lowers the cups of my bra and palms my tits in his hands and rolls my nipples between his fingers.

  “Just do what you feel is right, I’ll teach you the rest of the things you don’t know. You’re going to have to learn at some point how to please your future husband.”

  I almost laugh at him. My future husband, yeah right. The only reason I have a husband right now is because he paid me to marry him.

  “Just let your body feel what I’m doing to it and go from there,” he says as he leans his head down and takes one of my nipples into his mouth.

  My knees buckle and he’s catching me in his arms so I don’t fall to the floor. He lifts me effortlessly in his arms and carries me over to his bed and lies me down on it.

  I start to reach up and remove the rest of my dress, but he shakes his head no.

  I’m a little confused as I put my hands down next to me and wait to see what he does next. He doesn’t come any closer to me, but he lifts his hands up and begins to unbutton his shirt and doesn’t stop until the shirt is all the way open.

  Suddenly I have the urge to remove the shirt for him and then I realize that I’m standing right before him. I didn’t even realize my feet had brought me to stand before him until my hands are on his shirt and I’m pushing it off of his shoulders and watching it as it cascades down to the floor behind him.

  His breathing hitches as I reach my shaky hands up and touch his bare chest for the first time. He has a little hair there, but not much and it tickles my hands as I run my hands all over his chest and down to his belt where I undo it and push his pants down his legs until I’m kneeling at his feet and helping him step out of them. I look up in fear at his boxers and then past them until I’m looking up at him.

  He chuckles when he sees my face. I’ve never actually seen a dick before, so I’m a little scared about seeing one for the first time.

  “Come here,” he says softly, holding his hand out for me to take. I use it to stand from the floor. I shift from foot to foot as I wait to see what he’ll do next. I’m clearly overdressed for this with all of my clothing still on and him only in his boxers.

  He walks past me and over to the bed where he sits in my previous position.

  “Come,” he says again. I’m still unsure of myself as I take slow steps towards him and stop just out of his reach.

  I giggle when he reaches out and grabs me around the waist and tosses me onto the bed. My humor dies down when he climbs up my body and covers my body with his. Not to the point where he’s squishing me into the bed, but enough so that I can feel his body weight over mine as he brings his lips down to mine for another kiss. This time I don’t hesitate as I let his tongue enter my mouth and twine with mine. I bring my hands up so they are in his hair and I tug lightly as I moan into the kiss. He bites my lip gently before he swipes his tongue back into my mouth.

  He pulls away and stares down at me, his blue eyes boring into mine as he meets my gaze head on. I want to look away, but if I do that, he’ll see how scared I truly am about what is going to happen here tonight. I’ve heard stories about how much it hurts, how it feels like your insides are being ripped out of your body and stomped on a dozen times. At least that’s what Katrina told me it feels like.

  “So beautiful,” he whispers into my ear as he runs his nose down the side of my face before continuing down to my neck where he nips me before continuing down my body until he reaches my stomach. He pulls my dress and bra further down my body until he stops right above my thong. I can’t tell if he’s trying to kill me with the suspense of what he’s going to do to me, but I feel myself getting hotter and hotter and much more of this torture and I’ll probably faint. My body is on fire and I feel like I’m going to explode from the heat at any moment.

  “Please,” I whisper when he doesn’t move from my stomach.

  He kisses me softly on the stomach before looking up my body at me. “Please what?”

  I shrug, “I don’t know, just please?”

  “Okay, I think I know what you need,” he replies confidently. I wish I had some of that confidence, this would be a whole hell of a lot easier for me.

  He stands from the bed and pulls my dress and bra off my body, leaving my thong in place.

  “Jesus,” he curses staring down at my body. “How in the hell did you stay single all this time?”

  “I wasn’t looking for a relationship,” I reply with a shrug.

  Men haven’t really had a place in my life. Everything has always been about bills and taking care of Katrina, men were never a priority for me. But as I stare up at Jayden, I realize I’ve been missing a big portion of my life and I’ve only been living a small fraction of my life. I always knew I was missing something, but now I think I know what that thing is. A man to make me feel like a woman. Jayden makes me feel that way. It doesn’t matter that he paid me to marry him and that this isn’t about love or a relationship we share, he’s a man and this is what I’ve been missing. I finally have the one thing I’ve been missing.

  “Well, keep wearing these, and you won’t ever have a shortage of men chasing after you,” he says. I go to thank him, but he chooses that moment to grasp my thong with his teeth and pull them down my body. When he has them off my body, I expect him to throw them across the room like I would assume so many other men do, but instead he sets it down next to his pants and reaches for them to pull out a condom.

  He carries condoms in his pocket? I guess that’s not such a bad thing, you never know when you might need protection. Always better to be prepared, right?

  “Relax, Mireya, I’m not going to hurt you,” he says softly as he walks back over to me. I realize then that I am shaking and try to give him a reassuring smile. In reality, I’m scared shitless. I’ve never done anything besides kiss a man and that doesn’t even really count because the guy practically licked my face and called that a French kiss. I’m scared that I’m going to fail at this like I have everything else and that has me squeezing my eyes shut and balling my fists. I’m trying to block everything else out, the issue is I don’t know if I can.

  “Mireya, look at me,” Jayden pleads softly. I open my eyes and look over in his direction. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. Just because this is something that I want, doesn’t mean that you need to do it just to please me.”

  I know this, deep down I do. But I take a moment to think which one I want more. To let the fear eat me alive or take that leap and take control of my life for the first time since my mother died.

  “I’m okay, I’m just a little nervous,” I tell him, nodding my head more to myself than for his benefit.

  He now has his hands grasping his boxers and I hold my breath as he lowers them for the first time and gives me a view of the most beautiful looking dick I’ve ever seen. I mean, I don’t really have anything to compare it to, but from the way my sister described it, I would’ve thought it would be a tiny purple monster that wanted to cause me pain and discomfort. Apparently I need to stop listening to the things my sister tells me because this man’s dick is absolutely bea
utiful. Straight, large, and not even the slightest shade of purple. That helps me to calm down a great deal when I realize that probably most –if not all- the things she told me about men aren’t true.

  “What are you over there smiling about, Mireya? The things I plan to do to you are not something to laugh about, I plan on making you scream,” he announces as he pulls on his condom and proceeds to climb up the bed so he’s right over the top of me.

  “Is that thing going to fit?” I ask him as he leans in to position himself over me so he fits between my now open legs.

  “Don’t you worry about that, just let me just take care of you. This might hurt for a few seconds, but after that, I promise you, you will enjoy this,” he says, reaching between us to grasp what I can only imagine is his dick. I don’t dare look down to see what he’s doing. I may have convinced myself that the things my sister told me are not true, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not scared about what he’s doing down there.

  He begins to push himself inside of me, while holding one of my legs up around his hip. I bite my lip when I start to feel full, I don’t feel any pain yet and that helps me to relax some of the tension I feel inside of my body. I was expecting either extreme pain or pleasure, but I wasn’t expecting to feel full.

  “You ready?” he asks as he pauses his movements.

  “There’s more? I thought you were in as far as you could go,” I tell him, opening my eyes to stare up at him.

  He shakes his head no and gives me a simple smile. “This part is going to hurt, I can feel the barrier between us and then after that, I’ll be all the way inside. Just close your eyes and breath deeply, it might help to ease some of the pain.”

  I start to close my eyes, but at the last second I open them and focus on Jayden. He’s not looking at me anyways, his head is up towards the ceiling and I can’t tell if he’s trying to focus or doesn’t want to look at me when he takes me. Either way, it gives me the opportunity to stare up at the man that is about to change my life forever.

  I cry out when he suddenly pushes into me and feel the tears as they stream down my face. It feels like my insides are being ripped apart and I suddenly want to push him off of me to get the pain to stop.

  He must sense this because he looks down at me in alarm. “Breathe Mireya, the hard part is over. Just breathe through it and when the pain subsides, you will start to feel other sensations besides pain. That’s it,” he coos down at me. “Just breathe through it.”

  I focus on his words because he is right, there has to be something more than this throbbing pain. I highly doubt that men have started wars over women that didn’t enjoy sex and weren’t willing to give them more. There has to be more than just this, and I want to find out what this whole thing is about.

  “You ready?” he asks, wiping some of the tears from my eyes.

  I nod my head up at him, “I think I am.”

  He waits until he has my permission and then he’s lifting both of my legs off the bed and dragging me closer to him so he can bring my legs up to rest against his arms. This leaves me wide open for him.

  I wince a little when he starts to pull out of me, but I feel myself begin to tense up so I breathe out calmly and focus on what he’s doing. His eyes are closed and I tilt my head to the side as I watch him. When he pushes back in, I am forced to throw my head back and look away from him.

  “Oh my God,” I gasp as he repeats the same movement again.

  “You like that?” he asks, suddenly halting his movements. When he doesn’t move I look up at him, “tell me you like it, Mireya.”

  “It feels so good Jayden, please don’t stop,” I moan again as he repeats the same movement again and again, picking up his pace as he pulls out and pushes back in. He holds my legs out further away from my body and this seems to push him in deeper.

  “God, you are so tight Mireya, I’ve never felt anything so tight in my entire life,” he announces bringing one of his hands down between our bodies. “Please tell me you are close, I want to see you cum for the first time.”

  He does something with his hand that has my back arching off the bed in pleasure and suddenly I feel this warmth fill my entire body. I gasp when pleasure skyrockets down my entire body and hits all the way down to my toes. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and it just continues and continues until suddenly the feeling subsides.

  Seconds later Jayden lets out a roar and pushes into me one last time before he goes completely still. I stare up at him in shock to find his head tilted up, his eyes closed, and a vain straining out of his neck. He looks like he’s in pain, but when his shoulders relax and he looks down at me, I see he actually looks happy and satisfied. I find myself smiling back up at him as he brings himself to lie down next to me in the bed.

  He doesn’t say anything at all after that as he gets up from the bed and goes to clean himself up. I then take my turn going to the bathroom to try and clean myself up after he’s done and lies back down in his bed.

  When I come back out, I stand there awkwardly looking at him, as he appears to sleep in his bed. I bend down and begin to gather up my clothes and put them back on.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” I jump when I realize he’s watching me.

  “Back to my room?” I ask him questioningly as I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “I’ve been thinking, we are man and wife and we have to play the part all the time, so why don’t you just stay here and we can share a bed. I promise not to touch you, unless you ask me to,” he says, patting the space next to him.

  I throw my dress back onto the floor as I walk over to the bed and climb in next to him. He immediately kisses me on the forehead before he settles himself back into his space.

  “Thank you,” he says as he snuggles in. I turn to look at him over my shoulder and find he’s already well on his way to falling asleep. I take the chance and turn to face him so I can watch him while he sleeps. Who knows when I might get this chance again, if I ever do. I find it odd that he just thanked me, shouldn’t I be the one thanking him? After all, he did me more of a favor than I’ll ever be able to do for him.

  As I watch him sleep, I think about what they say. They say that you’ll never forget your first. No matter how much time passes, the memory of your first time will stay with you forever. Staring at Jayden I realize that even if we never do this again, I’ll still never forget him because he’s the one and only man to ever see me out of a room full of people.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I don’t see Jayden after that for a few days. According to Bridget, he had to go to Seattle on business. Why couldn’t he have just told me that himself? This really makes our marriage look legitimate now, since the wife has to hear about her husband going out of town from the housemaid. I think Bridget suspects what is going on here, but at least she’s nice enough to not say anything and blow my cover.

  I just knew his method of not getting to know one another was going to catch up with us eventually, I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. The doorbell rings through the house and I’m close to the door, so I go to it and pull it open. I’m not worried about a thief or stranger being at the door, this place is heavily guarded outside and you’d have to be really stupid or desperate to try and bang the door of this house down.

  I stand there like a gaping fish when I open the door and see who I would assume is Jayden’s mother. She’s a beautiful older woman who has some of the same features as Jayden, namely their eyes, they are identical.

  She eyes me up and down as she walks into the house uninvited. “Who are you? Some new employee I don’t know about? Where’s Vanessa? Please fetch her at once,” she orders with a snap of her fingers. I almost reach out and swat her fingers out of my face.

  “Mrs. Leopold,” Alfred just has to pick this exact moment to decide to have an issue with dinner and bring it to my attention. Bridget is right behind him writing furiously in a notebook. When Alfred sees the woman before me, he stops short causing Brid
get to run right into him.

  “What did you stop for, Alfred? I almost dropped the notebook,” she states, looking up in confusion.

  “Oh, Mrs. Crawford what are you doing here?” asks Bridget nervously. She looks at me in horror before looking back at the woman before me.

  “Where’s my son?” the woman asks, stepping around me like I’m not even standing there. So this is his mother. Shit, I am in trouble now, I barely even know her son, how am I supposed to pull off making her believe our marriage is legitimate?

  I watch Bridget shift nervously from foot to foot, so Alfred steps in, “He’s in Seattle for a couple of days.”

  When he doesn’t elaborate, I speak up, “He said he had some business and wanted to speak with his father.”

  She snorts, turning her attention back to Bridget and Alfred. “We both know he didn’t go to Seattle for that, he went there to hide. He usually does that when Vanessa isn’t fulfilling his needs. Speaking of Vanessa, where is she?”

  Now Bridget looks downright petrified as she stares blankly back at Jayden’s mother.

  “She’s gone, ma’am,” announces Alfred.

  “Gone where? She was here the last time I visited. This his new tramp of the week? We all know he’ll be running back to Vanessa in no time, no offense,” she says, turning to look at me with a look akin to sympathy in her eyes.

  “She won’t be coming back, Mrs. Crawford,” I supply when no one speaks up.

  “And who the hell do you think you are anyway? Shouldn’t you be packing up your shit before my son gets home? He doesn’t like to come home and find women in his home after he’s left town.”

  I blush as my turn arrives to shift nervously from foot to foot. “I’m not going to be leaving,” I state. She starts to interrupt so I hold my hand up in front of me, “I won’t be leaving because this is now my house, and I’m Jayden’s wife.”

  If a person could actually turn white, she’d be as white as a ghost as I watch all the color drain from her face. She recovers quickly though, and becomes a completely different person when Bridget and Alfred nod in confirmation.

 

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