“Dane helped us out by sending jobs my dad’s way and, in time, we recovered. I could have done anything with my life, but I wanted to go after assholes, like Dane’s father, Walter, that think they can do anything to people and get away with it.”
I warmed. I admired his determination. “Did you feel you accomplished what you set out to do. Why are you leaving now?”
He leaned back and sighed. “I believe in the work, but nothing is simple when it comes to law enforcement. You go in dreaming of making a difference, but it’s hard at times. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life answering to people. I want to answer to myself, run things my way, and that’s not much good for a team. I still believe in helping people so I’m doing what I can, the private way. It’s less danger and better hours too, once I get the team working together. I’ll be behind the desk with my feet up,” he teased and flashed a shy smile.
“I doubt it,” I replied, and we laughed.
“Seriously,” I added. “I think it’s great you’re going into business for yourself,” I said amicably. “I wanted to be my own boss, and that was one of the reasons I created Perfetto. I still must answer to shareholders and collaborate with my teams, but when I see something new come out that women love, I get goosebumps that I’m a part of it. It means a lot.”
“Are you feeling more relaxed now?” he asked although he already had the answer. I had my head on his shoulder. My hand was under his suit jacket holding on to his side, feeling the cut of his muscles outlined under the fabric. “Yes. Thank you.”
“Anytime you want a sad story, just look me up,” he said in a light tone.
I swiped at his chest playfully, and he caught my hand, his pale blue eyes bore into me. My pulse sped up as the air crackled between us. I leaned forward, and he turned his head, shutting me out.
I lowered my brows as uncertainty crept inside of me. “What’s up?”
“You’re just out of the hospital,” he said, though he still wouldn’t meet my eye. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
My jaw tightened. “Sex or getting too attached to you? You don’t want me, Elliott? I’m a big girl. You can tell me right now; I can take it.” My heart was beating so hard I could feel it pounding in my ears. I was lying to myself, I would be hurt, but better now before I got any more used to the idea of having Elliott in my life.
“Gia what do you think is going to happen here?” he asked. “Are you going to share me? If you’re fucking Dane, I don’t mind; it’s fine, but how would you feel if you have to share my bed with another woman too?” His phone beeped, but he ignored it.
“I don’t know,” I said and lifted my shoulders. “More than likely, I would be jealous, and I know that’s bullshit. It’s selfish and stupid, but nothing about this is easy. It’s hard, Elliott. The sex is amazing, but it’s not the only thing that comes to mind when I think of you. I like talking with you. Hell, I find every time were together I want to spend more time with you. I want to know everything about you.”
He met my eyes then, and we stared at each other until I turned away from him. His phone buzzed again, and I moved over giving him space before he answered it. He spoke softly to the caller while I stood and went over to the window and wiped the condensation off the panel to stare out. Was this how things would end? He was only asking me to be fair. He wasn’t asking me to give up Dane. If I did, would I be able to hold him alone? My heart hurt like I had already lost them both. Elliott ended his call and said my name. I shook my head. I didn’t trust myself to speak. He gave me a hard look and moved toward me.
I stepped back, and he followed me crossing over from the desk. For every step he took toward me I stepped away from him until my back was against the wall. He came closer still, his strong, power frame towering over me. Our breathing was the only sound in the room and became uneven being so close to each other. His sexual magnetism demanded attention and my body responded with eager focus. The heat from his strong body. The musk of his fragrant cedar scent. Every part of him appealed to me.
I closed my eyes to try to close off the feelings I had at that moment. They were mine alone. I wanted him, but more than that, I wanted him to want me just as much, but I didn’t trust that he did. My guard was down, and I needed some time away to build them back up. I didn’t want him to know just how much he affected me.
“You have to go,” I whispered.
“I do, and I know I should, but with you, I can’t.” He placed his hands on the waistband of my jeans and tugged me forward slowly. At any time, I could have stopped what was happening, but really, just what was happening between us?
I closed my eyes, I didn’t want to think about the feelings I had for him now. My pulse sped up, but my body tensed, bracing itself for Elliott to pull away. Waiting for him to bring up Dane to get him involved so that he could keep me at a distance from him.
He didn’t.
He undid the button front of my jeans and pulled them and my underwear down leaving me naked before him at the waist. The bruises were fading, but some were still there.
“I could kill Marco and Vincent,” Elliott whispered, and then I looked at him.
“I’m fine,” I told him. I wasn’t embarrassed.
He dropped to his knees. “I know you are,” he growled. Desire was in his gaze, but much more than that went through my mind as he ran his hands over the scars admiringly. He was on the same page about them as me. I wasn’t embarrassed by them. I’d been able to fight back, and I survived. He was as proud of that as much as I am.
His head went between my legs, and he took in a sharp breath taking me in. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he groaned appraisingly. My body shuddered as I grew wetter in his grasp.
I burned as his hot tongue dragged up my slit. He licked my pussy feverishly. His hands moved around me to grip my ass, digging his fingers into my flesh.
I ground my pussy into his face getting even more excited as I looked at him down on his knees rubbing the flat of his tongue through my slick folds, sucking on my swollen clit. I owned him like this. He owned me, too. The thought catapulted my pleasure to new heights as I moaned, shifting and rocking against his face.
His mouth closed over my entire pussy as he sucked on me. He slipped his finger inside of me and stroked that spot that sent me over, and I called out his name as I came apart.
Elliott commanded more as he pumped his finger inside me, my clit captured between his lips and the orgasm went on and on until I was wrung out. He lifted me up and took me to bed and placed me down on it. He stood at the end and we looked at each other.
“Sex is a big part of who I am, Gia,” he said. “Closed relationships haven’t worked with me. I don’t know if sharing you with Dane will work either, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not saying I’m ending things now but being with us would change who you are, and I don’t want to do that to you.”
He walked out the door, leaving my heart to ache knowing that soon he just may be gone from my life for good.
CHAPTER FOUR
I pulled on a pair of fresh jeans and a pullover sweater, then called my father before doing the only thing I could to keep my mind occupied: work. To my relief, my father was unaware of anything that had happened to me. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to upset him. For most of the conversation, I asked him questions about things he had already shared before. I could detect the joy in his voice as he spoke. I missed the father I’d known. I could identify with Elliott’s story about his father. Mine had also been the strong, assured man that I modeled myself after. He’d been all I had after my mother died. I missed him.
When I hung up, I thought about the next time I would visit him. What would it be like to bring Elliott and Dane along with me? My father, before dementia, would have been disappointed in me mainly because he was conservative, but he loved me. He’d have come around. I shook my head to try to shake out some of my silly chimeras. Elliott was right. I had been dreaming up a fantasy world wherein al
l three of us could stay together. We all wanted something different, but what did I want? I didn’t know, nor did I want to spend my first day back from the hospital mulling over it. So, I focused on my work, and in less than two hours my email was clear, and my week filled up with meetings. I didn’t need to go to most of the meetings, but I needed to show Perfetto staff that I was back, and they could count on me as they had before. When I returned to my desk from a coffee run, there was a message flashing on my screen from Astrid.
Astrid:Glad you’re back home. I’m coming over for a late lunch with Thai. Surprise!
Gia: Good. I can hardly wait to see you.
With Astrid coming for lunch, I went to the kitchen to get things ready and turned on the television for some needed background noise. As I hastily flipped through the channels, I caught a glimpse of my face being aired on one of them. I stopped dead in my tracks and tried to relocate the channel. It took a few minutes of changing channels before my face showed again. A news report segment was showing a video montage of me. It started with me smiling, holding up Patrick’s hand on stage at the announcement of his governorship re-election bid, then faded to an image of me on a gurney into the emergency room.
If that wasn’t bad enough, they had a caption along the bottom of the screen:
Fifty Shades of Pitfalls: Why Successful Women Risk All for Outrageous Fantasies.
I scowled. Way to ruin one of my favorite books.
I was relieved to find that most of their discussions were pure speculation, which could easily be dismissed as absurd. Yet I remained on my couch staring at the screen transfixed at the news panel experts dissecting my personal life.
“Success doesn’t mean Ms. Walsh has good self-esteem,” one of them postured. “She doesn’t value herself. It’s the Tinder-Age. Sex is given away as easy as swiping an app. Ms. Walsh, like many, no longer wants to invest time in building relationships.
“Mrs. Walsh leaving her perfectly respectable marriage for debasing sex clubs just shows how far our society has fallen,” another expert offered. “Our society has become so void of real values.” The segment on the other women in the show wasn’t any better. They had stock images of women tied to a St. Andrew’s cross in bondage gear. I recoiled. What bothered me most was being placed as an “other” or outside of society. My choices were not based on time, values, or books. Still, I was sure Patrick wasn’t fairing easy with his re-election campaign with new stories like this out there. He wasn’t going to disappear. At least not until he first picked my wallet.
The doorbell sounded, and I rushed over to answer it. There, I was met by Astrid’s joyous cry: “Gia!” Her platinum blonde pixie hair was bare despite the chilly weather. Her face flawless in a Perfetto branded winter wear. I immediately recognized the black suit she had on underneath her dark-blue wool coat because I had the same one. We were fashion twins, always buying the same thing.
Astrid dropped her handbag and the takeout to hold her arms open wide for a hug, which I returned tightly. I took a deep breath. I was so happy to see her. When we parted, I discovered we weren’t alone. A man stood behind her, waiting. Thor came to mind—a huge muscular blonde in a winter coat, jeans, and hiking winter boots. I had caught up on a lot of movies in the hospital. Instead of a hammer, he had a shovel and salt bag in his large hands.
“Hi. I’m Tove, your security guard, and snow-clearer,” he said in a deep baritone. “Elliott sent me over. He said to remind you he’ll be stopping by later.” He put the shovel down and shook our hands. I grinned at Astrid who mouthed “Oh, my God” when he turned his back, then wolf whistled once the door was closed.
“Damn is he hot!” she said. “If I wasn’t—”
“Madly in love with Tim?” I finished for her, and we laughed and hugged each other again before heading into the kitchen. The talk show was still on when we entered, and I grimaced and turned down the television.
She took off her coat. Her eyes narrowed at the screen. “Screw them. They don’t know you.”
I picked up the plates from the place settings and dipped my head. “I barely know myself these days.”
I had only been able to give Astrid a brief version of all that was going on when I was in the hospital. At the time, I had wanted her to hear everything that happened to me before news like this program came out. She listened and cheered me on as always. Even though it was less than a month since it happened, I didn’t feel the same.
“I know you,” she said. “You’re awesome. So, what if you want to have a little fun after your divorce? You’re an adult, and it’s your own damn business.”
I shrugged and put our food down on the small table. “If what I did affected just me, it would have been okay, but you and Tim. His election….”
Astrid averted her eyes. “I won’t lie, some people have asked Tim, and I questions, like if we were swingers. We’re handling it though. You don’t need to worry about us.”
I tensed. I did need to worry. Astrid wasn’t as familiar with how much their lives are under the microscope in the political world. She didn’t understand just how bad this situation could become. “I’m sorry if it’s making things difficult for you two.”
“You were kidnapped and hurt,” she frowned and put down her glass. I took the seat across from her. “Like I told Tim, we don’t turn our backs on our friends. If I’d known about what happened to you, I’d have come to help you.”
I swallowed hard. I hated to think my choices were coming between the two of them. “I’m still sorry that it’s affecting you.”
She lifted a shoulder. “A few canceled speakers at events and a couple of donors backing out isn’t enough to throw in the towel.”
I put my fork down. My appetite was gone. In politics, a budding politician, like Tim, needed a lot of support and financial backing to run for office. “Let me know what you’ve lost, I’ll make up the difference, cover whatever pledge was promised—”
“No,” she answered quickly. “I think it’ll be better if you stay out of his campaign. I mean you already did so much before with the donor contact lists and getting us connections for ads. You have enough to think about with the criminal case and Perfetto.”
A lump lodged in my throat. Her tone was light, but her words hit me hard. Even though I was hurt, I’d lost some of my social standings. My involvement in Tim’s campaign now would cost his election.
“Hey,” she said reaching over and squeezing my hand. “It won’t be like this forever. Soon, people will move on to something else to gossip about. Your Perfetto family is with you. We have sent out a guide warning staff not to discuss what happened to you and allow the company to handle any press, but, well….” She giggled and sipped her wine.
I raised my brows. “But what?”
“Some staff have tried to stand up for you,” she replied joyously. “They’re angry that some of the press have been painting you and the company negatively.”
I smiled despite it all. I appreciated their loyalty. The first thing I planned to do tomorrow when I returned was to thank each person for being there. “Stuart told me not to respond to individual emails, but I can’t wait to return to work. I miss our team.”
“We all miss you too,” Astrid said and sighed. “You have me, and I stand with you even if Liz says nothing happened. Your real friends believe you.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
She scrunched up her face. “Shit. I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.”
“But you will tell me now,” I demanded. “Please.”
Astrid opened her mouth and closed it, struggling with where to start. She cursed then finally told me as gently as she could: “Liz did a television interview. She said The Agency was just a match-making service and she was never held against her will.”
“She didn’t,” I murmured, but I didn’t doubt Liz did. She wasn’t dumb. She was aware her statement would undermine all the other cases. Even at Vincent’s, she had been ready to accept whatev
er arrangement Marco had made for her with a mystery man. He promised her a penthouse, money, and stability. She didn’t seem to care that he was removing her choice of who she would be with or what she may have to do. Liz decided to help Vincent and Marco. She created doubt, and that was enough to challenge my story. Where would that leave the case against The Agency now?
I stood up and walked a few steps away from the table with my back to her. “Sorry. I need a minute.” I took in a few shallow breaths.
Astrid came over and put her arm around my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Gia. If it makes it any better, she did say she couldn’t answer for you or your case, and she said she believed you. You were in the hospital, so she can’t say it didn’t happen. Anyway, she told them Marco was disturbed and should be held responsible for anything that happened to you.”
“How kind of Liz,” I mocked, then apologized. “They had threatened her business and her husband’s pension.”
Astrid tutted. “I sympathize with her, but she has friends. We would have fought with her. She chose to pick a bunch of strangers over those of us that have always been there for her. She tried to call me, and I told her not to call again.”
I raised my hand to protest, but Astrid pressed on. “And before you say I don’t have to stop being her friend, forget it. What she did hurts not only you but me too. I’m in it with you at Perfetto.”
I bit my lip. “That’s true, but she could be in danger…”
“And she has the police and FBI to help her just like you,” she said succinctly. “Don’t make excuses for her.”
Astrid was angry, and there wasn’t any way I could sway her opinion right now. Hence, we went back to our dinner. The smell of the reheated Pad-Thai brought back my appetite. It was so delicious I could have licked my plate.
Dauntless (The Agency Dark Affairs Duet Book 2) Page 4