“Jesus, Con,” Liam piped up when the last muffin had been demolished, “you are one lucky bastard.” I smiled widely as I tucked Em into me more closely, knowing that he was right. Having her curves pressed so close was rapidly redirecting the blood flow around my body. As much as I loved the guys, the sex ban had been in place for the last four weeks, and I had a lot of time to make up for.
“So what brings you ugly lot here?” I asked.
“Fucking charming,” Kieran replied. “Anyone would think we’re not welcome.”
“Ignore him, Kieran,” Em said. “All of you are always welcome here. Now who’s for a cup of tea?” she asked, slipping off my lap. I rolled my eyes at their collective grins, knowing how much they loved Em mothering them. She moved over to the kitchenette, and I waited for the kettle to start boiling before I turned to Kieran.
“What’s going on?” I asked him quietly. I didn’t want to alert Em but something must be up for them to be coming round this early after fight night.
“Danny wants to meet you,” he explained. I figured this would be about the loss last night. It wasn’t uncommon for Danny to want a postmortem of what went down.
“Fine,” I huffed. “I’ll stop by the gym tomorrow.”
“No, Con. He wants to see you now. He sent us to come and get you.”
“Shit,” I said, because there really wasn’t anything else to say.
* * *
Liam dropped my sorry arse Driscoll’s Gym then took off with the guys leaving me with no backup. They knew I was about to get a bollocking for my shitty performance and were too chicken shit to stand in the line of fire. Sitting down in the crappy chair opposite Danny was like sitting in the headmaster’s office all over again. I’d been in this seat and under his spotlight many times before for drinking too much and fighting outside the ring, but it was the first time I’d sat here since I’d met Em.
“I’m sorry Danny. I don’t know what to say…” I started.
“I don’t need you to say anything, Con. I need you to listen. Last night weren’t just a feckin’ shambles, it were the first time in a long time that I thought about jacking in the boxing for good.”
I sucked in a breath. That was a serious thing to say. Danny ate, slept, and breathed boxing. I wasn’t sure he could ever walk away from it, and I wasn’t sure what I would do if he ever did.
“All because I didn’t run the fight like you told me to?” I asked, pissed that he was completely overreacting just because I’d gone off the reservation once.
“No, Con. Because if you were any other fighter, Rico Temple would have killed you last night.” It was on the tip of my tongue to argue with him, but the look on his face told me to shut the fuck up.
“Look, I know that everything that happened with Em screwed with your head, but last night I watched fear and anger eat you alive until the only thing I could see was a beaten-up, scared-shitless kid. So you wanna tell me what the fuck’s going on?” I hung my head in shame, knowing that he was right and ran my hands through my hair in despair.
“A few days ago Em got a letter from Frank. There was no note, just an envelope full of pictures. Turns out the sick fuck had taking photos of her for years without her knowing.”
“Shit,” he mumbled, looking as devastated as I probably did.
“You told the police?” he asked.
“I took it down to the station yesterday. It’s being tested for fingerprints but unless they find any, there’s nothing to tie it to Frank. This shit’s got me worried, Danny. I can’t get her through this while he’s messing with her head. And where does it stop? Even when he goes down, we don’t know how long he’s gonna get and it’s clear he can still get to her from the inside. So how’s this gonna end?”
“It ends when you say it ends, son. Frank’s in prison and he’s gonna be there for a long time. He’ll keep messing with your head as long as you let him. Bring me or Kieran any suspicious mail and let us vet it. Don’t set up voicemail and tell Em not to answer any calls where she doesn’t recognize the number. Cut the cancer out of your lives and start living. Otherwise Frank wins. The best way to stick it to him is to lead a long and happy life with the woman you love.” This was Danny’s epic advice but he didn’t know what it was like to have failed someone you loved and having them hurt because of it. It would always be my sin to bear and I couldn’t fuck up again.
“That’s easier said than done, Danny. I’m fucking terrified of letting her down again,” I admitted.
“Son, fear lives in the dark. Drag it into the light and you’ll see there was never anything to be afraid of in the first place. You tell Em how you’re feeling?” he asked, frowning.
“No. She doesn’t need to know all the shit going through my head. It’s my job to take care of her. She needs to know that I’ve got this handled,” I said.
“Bollocks. She ain’t some wallflower than needs wrapping up in cotton wool. That girl had the brass balls to stand up and walk away from that fecker long before she had you behind her. I’m telling you straight that you keep bottling shit up like you have been and not talking to her about it and you’ll end up losing her. Holding on to this anger is gonna eat you alive. So I think it’s time we brought someone in to fix your noggin and while we’re at it, you need a manager.
“I don’t need a manager, Danny. I’ve got you, and I sure as shit don’t need some fucking pansy-arsed head doctor,” I shouted at him.
Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he turned toward me, his face a picture of anger. “Don’t you fuckin’ bark at me,” he yelled. “If I tell you we need something then we fecking need it.”
“Why can’t you manage me?” I asked, unhappy with all of this.
“What the fuck do I know about managing? It’s a full-time job, and I’m out of my depth. I’m a trainer not a manager. We’re going into the big leagues now, and we need someone who knows what they’re doing,” he said.
“I can’t afford to pay someone,” I admitted. There were lots of things that I needed before I could afford to hire someone full-time.
“Don’t you worry about that,” he reassured me. “I need someone to organize fights for some of the kids. I’ve got some good prospects round here so don’t be thinking you’re anything special,” he warned me, which made me smile grudgingly. “Pretty soon you’ll be able to afford your own guy, but for now you can borrow mine. I’ll keep him on staff until you can afford to take him on.”
“Fine,” I huffed, “but no fucking shrink.”
Danny sighed deeply. “There ain’t no shame in it, boy” he reassured me. “You want Em to get counseling for what she went through, right? You gonna think less of her for doing it?”
“Of course I won’t,” I said, pissed that he would even suggest it. “But it ain’t the same. You know it ain’t. Real men don’t see fuckin’ shrinks.”
“What a load of shite.” He laughed. “Real men ask for help when they need it, and we’re both in uncharted territory here, kid.”
I didn’t agree with him but I didn’t argue either. It still sounded like the worst idea he’d ever had, but I couldn’t lose him as my trainer, and if this was his price, then so be it.
“Sorry I yelled at you,” I mumbled, hating that I needed to apologize.
“So you fucking should be,” he admonished, never letting me off lightly. “I may be a few years older than you, but I can still kick your scrawny Irish arse, so don’t you forget it!”
I compared his frail frame next to my six-foot-five-inch body and smiled. “Whatever you say, Danny.”
Chapter 3
As planned I met the boys later at Daisy’s, Em was busy wiping down a table when I crept up behind her and tickled her. Shrieking, she jumped then turned around and smacked me with a wet dishcloth.
“O’Connell, you scared the life out of me.”
“Sorry, baby, I couldn’t help myself.” Wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, I hauled her in for a kiss. The way that some guys kiss
their long-term girlfriends or wives is an absolute travesty. A kiss should never be routine, like saying hello or good-bye. Kissing the person you love should be sign language for the soul. It should say I love you, I need you, and I’m happy to see you or sorry to see you go. If you can’t kiss like that, you should really keep your fucking lips to yourself. When I was done, Em rested her forehead against mine and closed her eyes, like she was already missing the press of my lips against hers.
“Baby, I’m supposed to be working. You’re going to get me in trouble,” she complained, but made no move to separate us.
“You don’t mind me stealing a kiss from my girl, do you, Rhona?” I asked another waitress as she passed me carrying a huge tray.
“As long as I get a turn when she’s done,” she joked.
“Here, let me get that,” I told her. Letting go of Em, I grabbed the tray, which was much too big for Rhona, and strode into the kitchen. I frowned as it occurred to me that Em must carry trays like these. They were much too heavy for her too.
“You don’t have to do that, Con, but thank you,” she told me. Pressing her hands against the small of her back, I could tell that the early evening dinner rush was taking its toll.
“No problem,” I told her. “I’m happy to help. Hey, Mike,” I said, nodding to him as he flipped burgers in the corner. He smiled as I salivated over the food laid out on his grill. I’d been dreaming about having a Daisy burger for weeks. Walking back out to put my order in with the boys, I saw Em loading up another full tray as she hurried to empty a table. Kieran had already snagged one for us, and he looked like the wait for me to come over so he could place his order was causing him real pain.
“Aren’t you a bit short tonight?” I asked Rhona, watching her scurrying to help Em.
“You can say that again. Katrina and another waitress didn’t turn up for their shifts. It’s just us for tonight.”
Nodding at the guys, I made my way over to our table.
“What’s up, Con?” Liam asked.
“Can we order already?” Kieran whined, and Tommy added a “pleeease” in the style of an annoying six-year-old.
“Sorry, boys, you’re going to have to wait a bit. They’re slammed so I think we should give them a hand.”
“Seriously!” Kieran complained. “I’m fucking wasting away here.”
“Don’t be a dick,” Liam answered. “You’re seriously going to sit there and chow down while Em’s rushed off her feet?”
We all turned in unison to watch Em, and as soon as she stumbled trying to shift her weight to lift the heavy tray, I didn’t need to ask the boys again. They fell over each other to get out of the booth and help her. Kieran reached her first and effortlessly lifted the tray and took it to the kitchen.
“I’ll do drink refills,” Liam offered.
“I’m the most likeable one of you ugly fucks, so I’ll take orders,” Tommy offered. Grabbing a pen and pencil from the counter, he walked over to a table of elderly ladies and turned on the charm. “What can I get for you fine and lovely ladies this evening then?” he asked, which made them giggle like schoolgirls.
Wrapping an arm around my waist, Em kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear. “It’s lovely of them to help, but how many orders do you think they’re going to mess up?”
“Don’t worry, love,” I replied. “I doubt many people will argue with them about it.” Between us, we were good at either scaring or charming people. There wasn’t much middle ground. Kissing my cheek, she left me to collect a food order at the ring of Mike’s bell, and I started clearing another table.
Two hours later, I had a whole new appreciation for how damn hard waitresses work. The balls of my feet ached, and I’d had a fuck-full of watching people leave shitty tips for damn fine service. None of us spoke to each other as we studied the menu. We were all going to order the same thing—we always did—but it was good to check it out just to be sure.
A juicy, succulent Daisy burger was placed down in front of me, and three more followed for the guys.
“On the house,” Rhona said, “for getting us out of a jam.”
With a cup of tea and a sandwich in hand, Em squeezed onto the bench beside me. Pulling her closer, I kept one arm around her and used the other to lift up my burger, demolishing a quarter of it in one bite. She giggled as I moaned appreciatively.
“Sunshine, you should never have introduced me to these things. I’m addicted,” I told her.
“A little of what you like now and then does you good,” she told me. Giving her a squeeze, I plowed straight back into my food.
When she froze with her cup of tea halfway to her mouth, I looked up to follow her line of sight. Standing in the doorway was a middle-aged, dowdy-looking woman with plain clothes. She nervously clutched an old cloth shopping bag as she scanned the cafe, her gaze only stopping when it met Em’s.
“Who’s that, babe?” I asked, knowing from how she was acting that I wouldn’t like her answer.
“My mother,” she whispered.
* * *
The woman walked slowly toward us in a way that reminded me of Em when I first met her. For a moment, I felt a swell of pity when I thought about her experiencing everything Sunshine had. Then I woke the fuck up.
“Hello, Emily. You look beautiful,” she spoke quietly.
“Hello, Mum,” Em replied.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I said angrily, as I tried to urge Em out of the booth. My huge body was wedged in the seat, and with Kieran and the guys to my right and Em to my left, both unwilling to budge, I was trapped.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, staring at the ground. She seemed to be searching for her words and was visibly shaking. “I know I shouldn’t be here but I was wondering if I could speak to you alone for a few minutes.”
“No fucking way!” I answered without thinking. This bitch had done enough damage. Frank might be behind bars, but the bitch was still messing with Sunshine’s head just by being here.
“It’s okay, baby.” Em soothed me with her hand on my knee. “Let’s just listen to what she has to say.”
I didn’t like it at all, but my girl knew her mind, and she didn’t question any decisions I made about my useless bitch of a mother. I nodded to show I was okay but clenched my jaw shut, trying not to interfere.
“You’ve got five minutes, Mum. The guys will leave but O’Connell stays with me.” This calmed me down slightly, but not by much.
“Okay,” her mum agreed quietly.
Tommy, Liam, and Kieran shuffled out of the booth, taking the last of their burgers with them and shooting daggers at Em’s ma the whole time. Once they’d left, she sat down gingerly at the table.
“What are you doing here, Mum?” Em asked suspiciously. “I haven’t seen you leave the house in years.”
“Frank’s trial starts soon, and his barrister asked me to come down to London so he could go over my evidence.”
“I hope you’re not here to ask me for anything,” Em answered. “If you want to stand up for him and lie in court, that’s up to you but that animal deserves to go away for life, and I’m going to do everything I can to see that happens.” Her spine stiffened as she spoke, and I couldn’t have been more proud of her.
“Yes, no, I mean that’s not why I wanted to come here,” she answered, getting all flustered. “Frank has asked me to give you something but that’s not why I came,” she clarified.
“I knew you were here for him. Just give me whatever that psycho wants you to deliver and leave,” Em said angrily.
“Please, Emily,” her mum pleaded.
“Please what, Mum?” she replied. “Please be nice, please don’t argue, or please forgive you for doing absolutely nothing while that man beat and raped me?” She didn’t shout. She didn’t even raise her voice at her mother. Instead she was eerily calm. Tears were streaming down her mother’s face, and with a resigned sigh, Em rubbed her own tiredly with her hands.
“Just go home,
Mum,” Em said softly. The woman pulled a long white envelope from her tattered bag and slid it across the table toward us.
“You have no idea how sorry I am for my part in what happened, and I don’t ever expect you to forgive me, but I’d like to explain myself to you someday, and I’d like the opportunity to know you. I don’t expect you to hear me out anytime soon, but can I come by the cafe from time to time, just to say hello and see you?” she asked hopefully.
“I don’t know. You’ve had years to get to know me. I can’t help feeling that whatever you’re doing is in Frank’s best interest.”
“Believe me, if Frank knew I did anything other than follow his instructions, I’d be beaten black and blue when he next had the opportunity.”
After a long pause of me clenching and unclenching my fists and silently willing her to tell her mother to get fucked, Em finally answered. “Fine, but only now and again, and I’m not talking about Frank,” she agreed.
“What the fuck, Sunshine?” I asked her. Her only response was to link her fingers through mine and squeeze my hand tightly.
“I understand,” her mum replied, “and thank you.”
Slipping quickly out of the booth, her mother paused to stare at Em like she was trying to memorize her face, then dropped her gaze to the floor and walked out of the cafe. As soon as she was gone, Em slumped against me. Letting go of her hand, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. I knew, even before she hiccupped, that she was crying because her tears began to soak through my shirt. My heart broke for her. Sunshine rarely ever cried. She was a pro at bottling up her feelings and going quiet when something was bothering her. But her ma had cut old wounds wide open, and now her pain was bleeding out. I didn’t have it in my heart to complain about her giving in to her mother and allowing future contact. That conversation could wait for another day. Right now, Em needed me, and I knew only too well how deeply the wounds inflicted by a bad parent ran.
The Aftermath Page 3