He looked around to see Em heading back. I nodded to indicate that I was keeping it together, and he squeezed my shoulder before letting go. We walked the short distance to all the cars, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Em’s little hand trembled in mine, and I didn’t know how someone so tiny, who’d been through so much, could be so strong. She made me seem like a fucking pussy.
“Liam,” I spoke to him from the back of the car, “could you take us to our house?”
“That’s where I’m going,” he replied in confusion.
“Not the flat. Our house.” Understanding dawned on him, and he nodded his head as he made the detour. Sunshine continued to stare out of the window like she hadn’t heard a word I said. When we arrived, she followed me out of the car on autopilot, stopping only when we reached the front door. Coming around from wherever her head had been, she looked at me funny.
“What are we doing here?” she asked.
“Just checking out the place, seeing how the work is going,” I answered.
The others had all headed home except for Liam and Kieran who sat up in the front of Liam’s truck. I knew they weren’t going anywhere until we were ready to leave. I opened the door and sidestepped past the tools so Em could follow. Even from a quick glance around, you could see that Liam had been busy. Once we’d gutted it, the place was a blank canvas. Now pretty much all the trades were hard at work. Wires hung loose ready to be connected to light fittings, gas pipes stuck out from the walls ready to connect to radiators. The house was a mess, but definitely a work in progress. Em stayed silent as we walked from room to room. When we got to the smallest bedroom, I recognized a couple of Liam’s toolboxes and, sitting down on one, pulled her hand to sit down opposite me.
“Danny tell you what happened?” she asked me.
I nodded in reply. “I’m so sorry, love,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know you want to make this right. You want to fix me. I’d want exactly the same for you if our roles were reversed. But I’m not the same person I was a year ago. Being cross-examined was like being raped all over again. Only this time they all know. The science even told them I was telling the truth, and still they don’t believe me. I’m different than I was then, though. I feel dirty and abused. I want a shower so hot it’ll boil my skin, and when we’re curled up in bed later, I’ll want a good cry. But when that’s all done, I won’t run and hide. I won’t be the little mouse to his big, fat cat. This time I have you and Danny and the rest of my family. So today is going to be shitty, and tomorrow is probably going to be worse, but we’ll get through it.”
“And if he gets released?” I asked because I’d seen how fearful she was back then and I didn’t want that life for her.
“Then we’ll deal with that too. And honestly I don’t know what he’ll do if he does go free. I’m not alone anymore, and he’s been accused once. Even if there isn’t enough evidence to convict him, maybe mud will stick,” she answered. She still sounded strangely detached, but at least now I had more of an idea where her head was at.
“How do you get to be so strong?” I asked.
“I found myself a family of fighters,” she replied with a small smile. It was small but I would take it. “Why did we really come here?” she asked.
“Because I wanted to remind you that Frank is all about your past, but this is our future. For better or worse, once this trial is done, this is the future we have to look forward to together.”
“You’re a good man, Cormac O’Connell,” she replied softly.
“I know, baby,” I said on a sigh, like my goodness was more like a burden I had to carry. It was all sarcasm. I wasn’t a good man. Given the opportunity, I’d cut Frank’s balls off with a rusty bread knife and feed them to him. In my book, rapists deserved nothing less. Em knew that about me and loved me anyway. “Come on, baby. Let’s get you home. You get a hot shower and a broad chest to cry on.”
She reached over and linked her fingers with mine, and I thanked God for the connection. My Em was buried under a mountain of pain and grief, but she was still there, and I’d keep digging until she was back here with me where she belonged.
* * *
The next day dawned and I can’t say I’d had much sleep. I spent nearly the whole night just watching over her. After the stress and worry of having to give evidence, Em seemed exhausted. She’d slept for more than ten hours when I woke her.
“We have to get going soon if we’re going to make it to court,” I warned her. I’d showered and shaved and was already wearing my suit when I crouched beside her. She turned over in bed and leaned on one arm as she brushed some lint off my shirt with the other.
“I’m not going.” Her voice was gravelly, like she’d been crying. I hadn’t taken my eyes off her for most of the night but I had the feeling she’d have a good cry the minute she was alone.
“Then I’ll stay too,” I told her.
“No. I need her to see you in that courtroom. She’s talked a lot about wanting to be part of my life again, so let’s see if she saves me or throws me to the wolves. Seeing you there will remind her of the choice she’s making.”
“I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to do but don’t you think she’d be more rattled if you were there?”
She fiddled with my tie knot absentmindedly as she chose her words. “When she closed the door and let Frank rape me, a part of me died. I lost my virginity and my mother at the same time. I can’t go back there. If she’s going to betray me again, I need you to cushion the fall.”
I nodded and kissed her forehead. “Try and get some sleep, baby,” I told her. “You look exhausted.”
“You’ll ring me as soon as you know anything?” she asked.
“No. Whatever there is to tell you, I’ll say as soon as I get home. That way you won’t fear the worst if you don’t hear and you won’t be waiting on my call.”
Sitting up, she hugged me tightly, like it was the last time she’d ever get to do it, and kissed me good-bye. I let Kieran in after a gentle knock sounded at the flat door. The main security door was about as secure as our gym lockers, meaning that none of the guys ever bothered even buzzing anymore.
“Can you give me a sec?” I asked Kieran.
“Sure why?”
“I need to leave Em a note. She’s not coming with us. And I need to ask Nikki to come over and sit with her. Can you give her a call for me?” I said.
“No need,” he replied. “She got a flat this morning and phoned for a lift. She’s downstairs in Tommy’s car. I’ll go and get her.”
“Thanks, Kier,” I told him as I grabbed one of Em’s lined notebooks and a pen.
Hey Sunshine,
I know you couldn’t be here but I don’t want you feeling bad about it either. Pretty soon for better or worse, this will all be over and I promise you that happy ever after I’ve been selling you will be just around the corner. Remember how much I love you and if things get really bad, I’ve hid an emergency bar of chocolate behind the herbal tea bags in the cupboard.
Love you forever
OC xxx
P.S. Why the fuck do we have herbal tea bags?
I handed the note to Nikki as she walked through the door in a black suit. “Are you sure you don’t mind staying with her?” I asked quietly from the doorway.
“She’s my best friend, Con. Of course I don’t mind. I’ve given Tommy my flat keys, which is probably a really bad idea, but he’s going to go back to my place for a hoodie, my laptop, and some DVDs. He’ll probably end up hanging out here with us then if his dad doesn’t need him. I’ll make him do some practice papers on those psychometric tests.”
“He told you about that?” I asked curiously.
“Sure. We butt heads a lot but we’re becoming fairly good friends.” I raised my eyebrow at her.
“It’s not like that! Jesus, I knew your mind would be in the gutter about it.”
“Hey, as long as you’ve had
all of your jabs, carry on.” She knew I was winding her up so she just rolled her eyes at me.
“See you later,” I said, grabbing my wallet and keys as I made my way to the door.
“When should I give it to her?” She asked me, waving the note.
“When you think she needs it most,” was my answer.
* * *
I walked up the steps of the law courts, flanked by Liam and Kieran like bodyguards, and met Danny at the top. Surprisingly Earnshaw was with him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked him, and he shrugged.
“It didn’t feel right at the gym yesterday. I know I don’t know you that well, but I thought I’d show my support.”
“Appreciate that,” I told him. Looking at him standing there with his hands in his pockets, I was selfishly glad Em had stayed at home. He wore his expensive suit far better than I wore my cheap one.
“Looks like I’m not the only one,” Earnshaw said, nodding his head toward the steps. Looking fairly respectable in dark trousers, shirt, white collar, and what looked like a hand-knitted sweater with a small hole at the collar, strode Father Patrick.
“Looking sharp, Father Pat,” Kieran said straight-faced.
“Thank you, Kieran. I think this jumper really brings out my eyes.”
The jumper was beige. I really had no idea whether he was being serious or not.
“Not that I don’t appreciate it. But why are you here as well, Father?” I asked him and he turned to Danny to explain.
“You ever lose your temper in front of Father Pat?” Danny asked.
“No,” I responded.
“Then that’s why,” he explained, lighting up another cigarette only minutes after putting out the last one.
“Jesus, I don’t need feckin’ babysitters, Danny,” I scoffed.
“Can we leave Jesus out of this, son? I have a feeling we’ll need him on our side later,” Father Pat reprimanded.
“Sorry, Father,” I apologized.
“You ever seen Frank?” Danny asked.
“No. You know I haven’t,” I replied grinding my teeth.
“When you do see that smug, slimy bastard, you’re gonna want to vault over the barriers and smash his nose into the back of his skull. I know ’cause I’ve been feelin’ that way since I first saw him. Now I’m old enough and wise enough to know my hip would give out long before I ever made that barrier and that destroying his face might feel good but it ain’t what Em needs right now.”
“And you don’t think I’ve got it in me to keep my temper in check in a courtroom, especially for something this important?”
“No, I don’t. I just said that, didn’t I? You’re young and impetuous, and the idea of anyone hurting your girl is gonna twist you up. When that red mist descends, you won’t see nothing but him and the great deal of space between his face and your fist. So to be on the safe side, I’m gonna stand one side of you and Father Pat will be on the other. Kieran, Heath, and Liam will be the human shield in front of you.”
“Gee thanks,” Earnshaw said, and Danny frowned at him.
“One in, all in,” Danny explained to him.
“Let’s get this show on the road then,” Kieran told them, and we all headed into court.
“I still think this is overkill,” I grumbled.
“Well, feckin’ deal with it,” he answered, putting out his cigarette at the last possible moment.
We were shown to seats in the viewing gallery by the court clerk who eyeballed me like a troublemaker he needed to keep his eye on. The judge came out of his anteroom and sat down just as Frank was brought up from the cells. The bastard was dressed sharply in a dark suit, and his newly cut hair was styled neatly back. If there was any fucking justice in the world, he’d come up from the cells looking like he’d been run over.
As the judge was getting settled, Frank turned and caught my eye. This guy knew exactly who I was. With a sick smirk, he lifted his cuffed hand and waved. Just long enough for me to see Em’s tiny wedding ring glittering from his pinkie finger.
Chapter 17
“Motherfucker,” I muttered.
“What is it?” Kieran whispered, turning around to face me.
“Pinkie finger, left hand. He’s wearing Em’s wedding ring.”
“He’s got to be working with someone. He wasn’t arrested with it, so someone’s brought it to him.”
“Look, there’s nothing we can do about that now, so let’s just see how this pans out,” Danny said quietly. I caught eyes with Frank and stared intently. I wasn’t taking any shit from this prick, so I gave him the same look I gave every opponent. The one that told them, without apology, that they were going down. It was the price you paid for going toe to toe with me. It was the price anyone paid for wronging my wife.
After a bit of preamble, Em’s mum was called as a witness. Unlike the woman who first turned up at the cafe to see Em, she’d cleaned herself up. Her newly cut and colored hair sat in a bob around her chin, and she wore a dark suit with a cream blouse and a small gold cross. Nice touch that. Made her seem like a smart, respectable God-fearing woman. She sat down and placed her hands neatly on her lap. After a quiet word from the court clerk, she was sworn in, and when she was done looked straight at Frank. That’s when I knew exactly how this was going to go down. If she was going to do the right thing and give evidence against Frank, she would have avoided his gaze. Losing evidence from the rape kit had killed this case but Em’s mum was about to drive the nails into the coffin.
“So, Mrs. Thomas, I understand that prior to the incident in question, Emily lived at home with you and Mr. Thomas.”
“That’s right,” she answered quietly.
“For how long prior to the incident had Mr. Thomas been living with you?” The lawyer questioned. “And in what capacity?”
“I lost my first husband eight years ago in a car accident. Mr. Thomas helped me through that grieving process, and he moved in about six months later. I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t a good mother at that time but Mr. Thomas helped me raise my daughter, Emily.”
“When Mr. Thomas was, as you say, helping you through the grief of losing your husband, did he at any time offer you any drugs or pills to assist you in dealing with your grief and depression?” She listened to the barrister’s question then looked first at me and then toward Frank. “No,” she said quietly.
“Let me be clear, are you saying that he never offered you as much as a paracetamol?”
“That’s right,” she said again, much too quickly.
“I see. And at any point during your relationship did that change?”
“No,” she answered and didn’t embellish any further. The barrister, seeing that this wasn’t going anywhere, changed tack.
“How would you describe yourself or your behavior during those early periods of grief and depression?” he asked her.
“I don’t remember it in much detail. I do know that there were some days when the pain of grief was so crippling, it felt like waking up with someone sitting on your chest. I’d wake up and forget that my husband was dead, and when I’d remember, I’d have full-blown panic attacks.” The way she described herself left me in no doubt that she was being honest. It was probably the only piece of truth there was to this bitch’s story.
“How was your relationship with your daughter during this time?” he said.
After a slight pause she replied, but this time she looked firmly down at her hands the whole time. “It was difficult. I guess part of me blamed her for the fact that she was still alive while my husband was dead. Emily was an accident you see. I wanted an abortion, but my husband begged me to keep her. I guess I resented the fact that he was gone and I’d been left to raise her alone.”
“I see. And it was during this time that you met Mr. Thomas?” he added.
“Yes,” she added, looking briefly at Frank. “When my husband was alive, I worked part-time as an administrative assistant in the probationary office, with Frank. We d
idn’t really speak much but then I saw him at a family barbecue. The office staff had organized it for some fundraiser. We got talking and then went for lunch on the next Monday morning. We remained friends until after my husband had passed away.”
“And at this family barbecue where he first noticed you, tell me, were your husband and daughter with you?”
“Yes, but they didn’t meet Frank. Well, Emily did. She was with me, but my husband was helping out with the barbecue.”
“And do you recall whether Frank spoke to Emily during this meeting?”
She looked quickly at Frank. “Yes, but he was very nice to her. He told her that her dress was lovely. That she was very pretty. She liked him. We both did,” she added defensively, looking up at the barrister.
“And Emily would have been around nine or ten at the time?”
“Nine,” she answered suspiciously. “What are you suggesting?”
The barrister held his chin and shook his head. “I’m merely suggesting that Frank paid very little attention to you before he saw Emily. It may be that he formed an attachment to her and used you as an opportunity to get closer to her.”
“Objection!” the defense barrister called out.
“Sustained,” the judge answered. “And please do try and refrain from making wild conjectures in my courtroom. Let’s try to stick with the facts of the case.”
“Yes, your honor,” the barrister agreed respectfully.
“How did Emily react to your marrying another man so closely following the death of her father?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t discuss it,” she answered without feeling. “I thought she would be pleased. Frank really did love her. He tried very hard to be a good father.”
“In what way?” the barrister asked.
“He was always buying her gifts and lots of pretty dresses. When he wasn’t at work he spent every minute he could with her.”
The Aftermath Page 14