by Joy Redmond
“It’s time to go to the hospital.”
“Hospital!” You’re not due for another month.”
“No, I’m right on time. I got pregnant the night we got engaged and you raped me in the back seat of the car.”
“Raped you?! I didn’t rape you! Have you lost your mind?”
“One of us has. Just get me to the hospital! I’ve got my bag packed.”
“Well, come on then.” Jack headed out the door.
Mandy shook her head, picked up the small suitcase and followed Jack to the car. Jack was popping piece after piece of gum into his mouth as they drove to the hospital.
Mandy was fighting to stay in control, but Jack was pushing Nikko’s buttons.
“Where do we go when we get to the hospital?” Jack asked.
“We’ll go up to the second floor to the maternity ward. That’s where women usually have babies.”
“You’ve always got to be a smartass, don’t you? You better change your attitude, woman!”
“Or what, Jack? Are you gonna slap the baby out of me?”
Mandy saw Jack gritting his teeth as he pulled into a parking space, close to the front door of the hospital. He jumped out of the car and took off running.
“Jack, do you mind to get my suitcase?” Mandy called out.
“Oh, yeah,” Jack said as he ran back to her side. “I’m so nervous I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“I know. Your mama isn’t here to give you instructions.” She bent over in pain. “Just get me inside and to an elevator.”
Jack shuffled his feet as if he were doing a dance and chomped his gum faster as the elevator ascended to the second floor. The door opened and Mandy stepped out and hurried over to the nurse’s station. “I’m in labor,” she said, as another pain felt as if it were ripping her body in two.
A nurse walked around the desk. “Then you come with me, sweetie.” She took Mandy’s arm, then turned to Jack. “Follow us. I’ll show you to the father’s waiting room. That’s where you’ll stay until your baby is born. A nurse will come out periodically and let you know how things are progressing.”
Before Jack entered the waiting room he called out, “You better have me a little boy!”
Mandy ignored him and the nurse led her through double doors and in to a labor room.
September the 1st, 1961 at 5:32 am, Dr. Harold laid a kicking, screaming baby across Mandy’s stomach as he clamped and cut the cord. Mandy raised her head and her body quivered as she looked at her beautiful baby girl. “What a set of pipes,” she said. “And look at that head of hair!” She was in total awe as she lovingly gazed upon her daughter. Love filled her heart to overflowing.
As the nurse picked up the baby, Mandy heard a gentle soft whisper, Kathleen.
“Kathleen?” Mandy repeated.
“That’s a beautiful Irish name,” Nurse said. “Come with me, little Kathleen. I’ll clean you up, weigh you, dress you, then I’ll bring you back to your mommy as soon as she is in her room”
Mandy laid her head back on the soft pillow, her body exhausted, but her heart was so full of love, she wondered if she’d explode. She smiled as she thought, Well, Jack, you’ve got a split-tail. Deal with it. Again, she was amazed by how the spirits showed her things and sent thoughts to her. Right, again. I have a daughter. Her smiled broadened. Thank you, God!
Mandy was taken to a room and she lifted her body off the gurney and into a bed with clean-smelling sheets and pillowcase. She pushed the button on the side of the bed and raised the head until she was in a sitting position. A few minutes after as she was in place, Nurse walked into the room. “Here’s little Kathleen. She weighs seven pounds and one ounce and she’s twenty inches long.” She placed the baby in Mandy’s arms.
Mandy gazed into the bright eyes of her daughter who seemed to be looking into her very soul. “Hi, Kathleen. I’m your mommy. You sure are beautiful.” She hugged the baby to her breasts and tears flowed, and her insides felt as if they were a bowl of quivering gelatin.
Jack walked into the room and slowly made his way over to the bed. He gazed upon his daughter, his face devoid of emotion. “I thought for sure that you’d have me a son. We didn’t pick out any girl names—”
Nikko jumped out. “Her name is Kathleen!”
“Kathleen?” Jack repeated.
“Yes. And her middle name is Rachel. After my real mother.”
“Well, er, well, Mama came to the hospital as soon as I called her. She’s been with me the whole time. But the nurse said she couldn’t come back and see the baby.” He paused a minute, then said, “When the nurse told us that it was a girl, er, Mama said she wanted us to name her after—”
“I’ve already named her. Pearl can deal with it. And since you wanted a son, and Pearl wants a namesake, which neither of you are getting, I’ll go back home with my parents as soon as I’m released.”
“You will not! You’re not taking my baby away from me. You better get some things clear—”
“No. You and your mother better get some things clear. I can and will say what I think from now on. I had to marry you because I was pregnant. But I don’t have to stay with you. If you ever raise your hand to me again, I’ll take my baby and you and your mother can go to hell!”
“Mandy. If you weren’t in a hospital bed, I’d—”
“You’d put me in my place? Slap me silly? Those days are over, Jack!”
Jack tucked his head almost to his chest and he seemed to be frozen.
“Do you have more to say?”
Jack slowly raised his head and tears rolled down his face. “Mandy, I never know what to expect out of you. It’s like you’re two people.” He shuffled his feet. “Mama has always done the talking for me. She’s always done the thinking for me. It’s been that way all my life. It’s all I’ve ever known. But this is me talking now.”
When Nikko saw the tears, she receded into the dark crevices of Mandy’s mind. Jack was being humble and there was no need for her.
“I’ll admit that I wanted a son, but I’m thrilled with our daughter. She’s my own flesh and blood. I’d fight an army for her. I’d fight till the death for her. I love her with all my heart.” He wiped his eyes and nose on the back of his hand. “I promise, I’ll be the best daddy in the world—and I’ll never take a hand to her mother, ever again.”
Just then, Nurse stuck her head around the door frame. “Mr. Walker. You’ll have to leave now. I need to take the baby and Mandy needs her rest.”
“Just a minute,” Jack said. He bent and kissed the baby on the forehead. “I love you, little Kati.” Then he looked at Mandy as if he was about to get his hand slapped for sticking it into the cookie jar. “Is it okay if I call her Kati?”
Mandy smiled. “Sure. I like it. Kati it is.”
Jack pecked Mandy on the lips. “Thank you for giving me such a beautiful daughter. She’s perfect. I wouldn’t trade her for the world.”
“You’re welcome,” Mandy said and squeezed Jack’s hand.
“I love you, Mandy.
“Me, too,” Mandy answered and choked back tears as she squeezed his hand harder.
“I better go. I’ll be back as soon as I get a nap. And as soon as they’ll let me back in the room.” Jack headed across the floor. Just as he opened the door, he turned his head and said, “Daddy loves his girls!”
When the door was shut, Mandy whispered, “Well, Nikko. There for a minute I thought you had dug us an early grave. Do you believe the change that came over him? Maybe there’s hope after all. Maybe being a daddy has made him a better person.”
Nikko was silent.
Mandy closed her eyes and just as she was drifting off, she heard a fluttering. She opened her eyes, expecting to see a bird flying around the room. She saw nothing, but the noise continued. “Is that you flapping you wings, Purple Angel?”
Mandy felt a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you, Mama,” she softly whispered, “Watch over your granddaughter.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mandy spent three days in the hospital. Two sets of grandparents spent hours looking through the nursery window, admiring their new granddaughter. Upon her release, Mandy lovingly held Kati and cooed to the sweet infant all the way home.
When they pulled into the driveway, Jack got out of the car, ran around to the passenger side, opened the door for Mandy, then said, “Can I carry my daughter?”
“Sure,” Mandy said, holding the baby out to him. She sat in shock as Jack took Kati into his arms, kissed her forehead, then headed for the trailer. “Will wonders never cease?” She followed and her heart was full of joy.
Jack walked inside, then held the door open for Mandy as she climbed the three steps. Then Mandy stopped in her tracks. Before her was a bassinet. It had a long white skirt with pink ribbon around the top edges. It was an exact picture of her vision almost nine months ago. It was against the wall by the fridge. “The same spot,” she whispered.
“What spot?” Pearl asked as she rushed over to take the baby from Jack. “I got the bassinet set up, washed and sterilized bottles, and I made up formula, filled them and they’re in the fridge. I left one out so it would be room temp in case the baby is hungry.”
“Thank you. And the baby’s name is Kathleen Rachel. We’ll call her Kati,” Mandy said.
“Yes, I was informed,” Pearl answered, and gave Jack a harsh look. “I’ll go on back to the house. If you need me, just yell.” She placed Kati in the bassinet.
“So far, so good,” Mandy said.
A week later, Mandy was bent over the bassinet, changing Kati’s diaper, when she heard a light tap on the door. “Well, since when did Pearl start knocking,” she said, as if Kati would answer. “Just a minute,” she said, as she snapped the bottom of Kati’s pajamas.
She opened the door and her breath caught in her throat, the world began to spin and her vision blurred. Before she could get a word out, Lee hopped up the three steps and scooped Mandy into his arms. He swung her around, then stood her on the floor. “Oh, my God! Is that a baby?” He asked as he turned his head toward the crying infant.
Mandy hung on to his arm and managed to say, “Yes, that’s my baby. She’s a week old. How did you know where to find me?”
“I went to Aunt Lou’s and she gave me your address. She didn’t mention a baby. I guess she wanted to surprise me.” Lee turned back toward the door. “Come on in, Tess. I’m sorry I got so carried away.”
Mandy watched as a heavy set, older woman with graying hair, came up the steps and stood beside Lee. Who the hell are you?
“Sis, this is Ellie’s mother, Tess, our step-grandmother.”
“Hello, Tess. Nice to meet you. Have a seat,” she said, motioning toward the couch. “I’m reeling a bit here.”
“Hello, Carnikko. Nice meeting you. But I want to see that sweet baby,” she said as she walked over to Kati.
Lee quickly took Kati from Tess’s arms. “Let me have her,” he said as he sat down on the couch. “Oh, Sis. She’s beautiful! And she looks just like you.”
Tears welled as she watched her baby brother holding her baby girl. “Hold on, let me get a picture of this moment,” she said as she reached up and took down a camera from the top of the fridge. She snapped the picture, then she couldn’t hold back her tears. “Did you ever think this day would ever come?”
“I really haven’t given it any thought, but it’s a special day, for sure.”
“How long can you stay, Lee? I’d like for us to have a few days together.”
“I’ve only got a few minutes, Sis. Tess and I are on our way to Arizona. She’s moving to Phoenix, and I’m going to ride with her that far. Then I’m going to hitch hike to Riverside, California. I’ve had all I can take of Indianapolis. Aunt Marcy said I could come out and live with her. We drove a few hundred miles out of the way, but I couldn’t leave until I saw you, hugged you and told you bye—one more time.”
“Oh, Lee. If you go to California, I’ll never see you again. I can’t tell you bye again. I’ve spent half of my life telling Daddy, Don, and you goodbye. I just can’t—” Mandy broke down and sobbed until she felt as if she couldn’t breathe.
Lee handed Kati to Tess. He walked over to Mandy, gathered her in his arms and said, “Sis, it hurts me too. But we always do see each other again, even if it takes a few years.”
“God willing, we will, Lee. Just give me a big hug, then hurry away. I can’t say bye.”
Lee hugged her so tightly it felt as if she would break in two, and it felt wonderful and sad at the same time. As Lee headed for the door, Mandy cried, “Write to me.”
“I’ll be in touch, Sis.” Lee ran across the backyard and Tess was trying to keep up.
“Bye, Lee,” Mandy softly whispered. “Godspeed.” She stood at the door until Lee was out of sight. She felt week in the knees, but when Kati cried, she walked over to the bassinet, picked her up and hugged her. “I guess you’re ready to eat, huh? That was Uncle Lee holding you. I’m so glad he got to see you. I sure hope we see him again. But I never know.”
When Kati was a month old, Jack started taking weekend trips to Louisville with his friend Jerry. For the next three months, Jack left every Friday night and didn’t return until late Sunday afternoon. Mandy would mumble, “What kind of fool do you think I am. I know you’ve got a woman or women that you can’t wait to get to. So much for being a good daddy. You seldom touch Kati.”
When Kati was six months old, Mandy had another visitor. Again she was in shock as she answered a knock on the door and saw Don, smiling and holding a little boy with a woman beside him holding a tiny baby. “Oh, my God!” She cried as she grabbed Don around the neck and hugged with all her strength.
Don hugged her, and again, she felt tears as they ran down Don’s face and dropped on hers. Then Don wiped his eyes and said, “Sis, this is my wife, Anne, and my son, Danny. He’s thirteen months old, and this is my daughter, Darla, who’s two months old.”
Mandy hugged Anne. She picked up Danny and kissed his cheek. She lifted the tiny girl from Anne’s arms, hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. “What a beautiful family, Don. It’s so good to see you.”
Kati was crawling up the short hall and Mandy scooped her up. “This is my daughter, Kati. She’s just six months younger than your son.”
Don and Anne hugged and kissed Kati, then they pushed their way around the baby crib that was sitting in the middle of the floor between the living room and kitchen, and sat down on the couch.
Mandy put Kati in the crib, then picked up Danny again. “How long can you stay?”
Don tucked his head, and chills ran through Mandy.
“Just a couple hours, Sis. We’re packed and headed out to Idaho this coming Monday. I’ve been assigned to a church out there, and Anne has a job as a cook at the high school. There’s no money around here. If a person is going to survive, they have to go out West.”
Mandy, still fighting tears, said, “Yeah, I knew from the look on your face that you were coming by to say goodbye again. Just like Lee. He came by right after Kati was born, on his way to California. He said he’d stay in touch, but I haven’t heard from him. I hope you’ll stay in touch.”
“I’ve written you for over three years. I always will,” Don said, and took Anne’s hand.
The two hours passed quickly, but Mandy and Don managed to fill each other in on the happenings of their lives since the last time they’d seen each other. The goodbyes were hard, but Mandy managed to get them said, though she felt as if she’d choke on the knot that was forming in her throat.
Later, Mandy sat on the couch, staring out the window. “Don and I are parents, Mama. I hope you can see your grandchildren. I hope you’re watching over Lee. One more time, we had to say our goodbyes and go our separate ways. It hurts, Mama. Will I ever have my family back? Will I ever find happiness?”
She continued to stare out the window, her t
ears rolling, when suddenly, a robin perched on the window frame. It clung with its tiny claws, cocked its head as if it were surveying the room, then seemed to be staring into Mandy’s eyes as it puffed out its bright red breast. Then it flapped its wings and flew away.
“Since you were so beautiful and colorful, I’m going to assume it meant that it was Mama’s way of telling me that she was watching over all her children. Tell her that we all love her. And Evan, too.”
Two months later, Mandy woke up one Saturday morning when she heard the front door slam. “Yeah, Jack. Go eat breakfast with your mama, then you and Jerry take off like you always do.” She swung her feet off the bed and Kati was crying. “Mommy is coming. Daddy didn’t have to slam the door like an idiot. But then, he is one,” she mumbled as she headed for the front of the trailer. She lifted Kati from the crib. “Mommy will feed you, sweetie. I don’t have a place to put a high-chair, but you do a good job of eating in Mommy’s lap.”
Mandy fed and dressed Kati, put her back in her crib, then she opened the steel door of the trailer and pulled the screen door in as tightly as she could, hoping it wouldn’t fall off the hinges. Kati was crying, wanting out of the crib.
“Kati, it’s a good thing you’re as tiny as a mouse or you wouldn’t have room to crawl. I barely have room to walk. She lifted Kati and put her on the floor.
I can’t take much more of this tin box and living in a backyard of a tyrant who won’t let me be a mother to you. She’s always contradicting and undermining me at every turn, she thought as she watched Kati crawl under her crib.
To her surprise, Jack came back into the trailer. “Well, I thought you’d be off to wherever you and Jerry go every weekend. Did your date cancel on you?”
“Don’t start with your smart mouth. Jerry is sick. I’ll be home all weekend,” he said and stomped so hard on his way back to the bathroom that the trailer rocked.
Mandy sat down on the couch. Nikko, when he comes back up front, tell him how it’s going to be. We’ve made up our mind. Let him have it.
Jack walked back to the front of the trailer and just before he reached out to open the screen door, Mandy said, “Sit down, Jack. Or stand. But you will hear me out. I’ve lived in this tin box for almost two years. We don’t have enough room to let a healthy fart loose. Kati barely has room to crawl, and in a month or two she’ll be walking. She has no place to walk. So, either we find us another house, or I’ll take Kati and go back to my parents. My baby is going to have a decent home.”