by Joy Redmond
Kati said, “And he plays with me too. He makes silly faces and makes me laugh. He likes to play I spy with my little eye, like you used to before you started working and going to school and we don’t see you anymore.” She protruded her bottom lip in a pout.
A knot formed in Mandy’s throat. Guilt filled her. “I’m sorry, kids. I know Mommy isn’t around like she used to be, but I’m doing all this for you two. I’m trying to get an education so I can get a better job, make more money and be able to give you the things that I can’t right now. I’ve got tomorrow tonight off. We’ll play like we used to.”
Mandy got out of the car and she and the children were picking up bags of groceries when Billy turned off the mower and walked their way. “Here, let me help out here,” he said, grabbing two big sacks.
“Thank you,” Mandy said. “You didn’t have to mow my yard but I appreciate it.” She looked at him standing there with the groceries and smiled inwardly. It had been a long time since a man offered to help her.
“It was my pleasure. You need some help and I don’t have to go to work tonight, so I thought I’d get mine and your yard mowed. It’s a hot one. I’ll get the groceries in for you, then I’m going to have a cold beer. Do you want one?” He gazed at her, his eyes intent as he waited for an answer.
“No thank you, but since you’ve been so nice, I’ll invite you to have supper with us if you’d like. I’ll have it ready in about an hour. It’s the least I can do.”
“A home-cooked meal sounds good to me.”
Mandy laughed. “I’m making Hamburger Helper and a tossed salad. Not much but it’s all I’ve got time to fix.”
“I think I can handle that. I’ll go get a couple beers and be back in time to eat. Thanks.”
After supper, Billy helped Mandy clean the kitchen, then she told him she had to get ready for work and take Kati and Tony over to her parent’s house. “I appreciate all that you’ve done for me today.”
“I’ll be glad to keep the kids tonight while you work. I—”
Before Billy could finish his sentence, Kati and Tony, yelled in unison. “Yeah, Mama. We want to stay with Billy. We get bored with Grandmother and Granddaddy.”
Mandy glanced at the clock. “I’m already running late. That would save me a lot of time. Let me call my parents and—”
Before Mandy could finish her sentence, Kati and Tony ran to Billy and grabbed him around both legs. “Yeah, we want to stay with you. You’re funny,” Tony said.
“Yeah, Mama, he even makes me laugh,” Kati said. “I don’t laugh at anybody.”
Mandy snickered. “That’s for sure!” You’re too busy being a hateful ass just like your daddy and granny. “Fine. Billy can be the babysitter tonight. Let me call your grandparents.” And get a sermon on what a horrible mother I am for leaving you with a friend. There’s no way to win with them. I don’t know why I even try.
Mandy called Iris and told her that a neighbor was watching the children for the night.
“Oh, that’s nice. Since your father has been farming again with his old friends, he comes home very tired, and I started on an oil today. I’ll have a chance to work on it. I’m painting a still life for your kitchen.”
Mandy gave an inward sigh of relief. She had steeled herself for a lecture, but fate was working with her tonight and she was grateful. “Great. Then it works out for us all. I’ve gotta go. I’m running late.” She hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. “That went better than I was expecting. Okay, kids, you can stay will Billy. Mama has got to hurry and get ready.”
For the next three months, Billy was at Mandy’s house every time she needed help with any chore, and he kept Kati and Tony when he had a few nights off from work at L&N Railroad. When he got a call telling him what shift they needed him, he had the option of accepting or letting a co-worker take it. He took a pass on most second shift offers. He was there to watch Kati and Tony while Mandy worked, or when she needed to study.
Mandy wasn’t used to a man being kind and considerate and he was good with her children and her heart began to melt.
Mandy always warned the children to not mention to her parents that a man friend kept them from time to time. Kati said, “I told Grandmother that a nice lady kept us when she asked about our new babysitter. I knew she’d have a fit! And I’m tired of wearing a dress every time I go over there. I love Grandmother, but she has some strange ways.”
“I’m in kindergarten this year and I’m a big boy and I know not to say anything about a man too,” Toni said. “And I hate wearing long pants when I go over there. It’s summer time. Why do Grandmother and Granddaddy act so silly?”
“I wish I knew,” Mandy said as she hugged Kati and Tony and held them close to her. “Mama’s babies are growing up too fast. One in kindergarten and one in third grade. And Mama has one more semester of this school year. Next fall, I’ll start my nursing classes. Mama is finally going to see another dream become a reality. Then our lives will change, kids.”
Mandy’s heart filled with joy when she saw how happy her children were when Billy was around. They finally had a father figure.
Jack seldom saw his children since he had met another woman, and Lester and Pearl questioned the children so much, they didn’t want to spend much time with them. However, the phone calls continued from Jack and Pearl, each of them accusing her of turning the children against them.
Mandy would hang up the phone and seethe.
How much more of this shit are you going to take?
“My day is coming, Nikko. You reminded me of that once.”
Nothing out of the ordinary had happened for over a year. Mandy missed the visits from the spirits, but she took it as a sign that her life was finally on the right track.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Mandy and the children were out of school for Christmas break. They were in the kitchen baking cookies and singing carols. Mandy took a deep breath and breathed in the smells of the holiday. Odors rose and gently floated through the air. The doorbell rang just as she was taking a batch of cookies from the oven, and Tony ran to the door.
“Come in, Billy. We’re cooking, then Mama said we’d go find a Christmas tree, but she said she didn’t know if she could get one in her little car. Can you help? You’ve got a pickup truck.”
Kati took off running into the living room. “Yeah, can you? And Mama never can get the tree lights untangled. She gets all mad and cusses.”
Mandy heard Billy laugh, then he said, “I’ll be more than happy to carry home a Christmas tree for you. And I’ll even untangle the lights.”
Mandy was taking the cookies off of the cookie sheet when Kati and Tony came into the kitchen, both holding Billy’s hands. “Just in time. I hope you like sugar cookies. The kids cut them out. We’ve got Santas, Christmas trees, reindeer and wreaths.”
“How about we all go out for pizza, then we’ll get a Christmas tree, come home, put it up and we’ll eat cookies while we rest?” His eyes twinkled and his grin seemed to go from ear to ear.
“Yeah, Mama! Can we?” both children asked.
“That sounds like a plan to me,” Mandy said, and her heart filled with happiness as her mind traveled back in time. She could still see Uncle Clayton, Don, and Lee dragging a cedar tree through the back door of the old shotgun house, atop a steep hill. She had helped decorate it with strings of popcorn. Then she and her brothers used safety pins to pin cutouts made from construction paper on the dry branches. It had been their last Christmas with Mama and Evan.
“Are you off work tonight, Mandy?” Billy asked, as he gently hugged her around the waist.
His gesture took her by surprise, but he made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Yep. I’m off tonight, Friday, and Saturday. I have to pull a double, Sunday. So we can have a good time tonight.”
“Good! Go get your coats, kids. And we’ll be off!” Billy said.
Mandy blinked back tears as the children ate pizza, played the game machines, and laughe
d as Billy acted silly with them. Billy was a natural comedian. It reminded her of the days when she was a little girl and Daddy would tell his tall tales with all the drama he could muster, using hand gestures and facial expressions.
After eating, they went to a tree lot and looked at every Christmas tree on it. Finally, they all agreed on one. Billy gently pushed Mandy aside when she opened her purse. “I’ve got this. Your money is no good when I’m around.”
Billy kept them all laughing as they drove home squeezed into the cab of his pickup. He carried the tree inside, managed to fit it into the stand, then they decorated it. When the job was finished, they had milk and cookies. Billy stayed until midnight and he told about his Christmases as a child, and Mandy was sure he was making it up, but the laughter of her children was the most beautiful music she’d ever heard. When the children were ready for bed, Billy was by Mandy’s side as she tucked them in, and they all said the ‘I love you’s.’ Billy whispered, “I love ya, too.”
Mandy and Billy went back to the living room and admired the beautiful tree. They just sat in silence for a while, then Billy said, “Mandy, we’ve known each other for a few months and I spend a lot of time at your house with you and the children, but I’d like to take you out on a real date. You know. A steak dinner. A bottle of wine.”
“Oh, my. I haven’t been on a date for ten years. I—”
Billy leaned in and kissed her before she could finish her sentence.
Mandy was stunned beyond words.
“Dating is the same as it was ten years ago. It usually ends with a kiss, but I thought I’d start with one. So what do you say?”
“Well, if I can get my parents to keep the kids. I think that sounds good. If I’m lucky, I might get them to agree to keep them all night. That way I don’t have to be home by eleven o’clock.” She laughed, then a thought struck her. “Oh, wait. I’ll have to tell them that I’m going to a movie with a girlfriend. I have some strange parents. I’ll let you know tomorrow. I think I need to say goodnight now. Thanks for a wonderful evening. I enjoyed it and I’ve never seen my children have such a good time. It really warmed my heart.”
“The pleasure was all mine.” He leaned in and kissed her again. Then he stood and headed for the door. “We’ll do it up right tomorrow night.”
Mandy locked up after Billy left. She stood with her back against the door for a few minutes, thinking about the kiss. “Well, Nikko. The kiss was sweet but I didn’t feel a tingle and my toes didn’t curl. Maybe that’s just in romance books and movies. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. I dunno.”
I dunno either, Nikko answered.
The next day, Mandy called Iris. “Mother, my nice neighbor has asked me if I’d like to go out and eat with her and go to a movie. It’s been a long time since I’ve been anywhere except school and work. Would you and Dad keep the kids overnight? I don’t want to wake you up and have to drag them out. I’ve done that so much with them.” She held her breath.
“Well, I suppose so,” Iris answered, but she didn’t sound enthused. “What time will you be bringing them? And make sure you tell them they have to go to bed by nine o’clock. We get up early and—”
“I’ll give them their instructions. I’ll bring them over about six o’clock. I’ll have them fed and bathed. All you have to do is play games with them, then put them to bed. They know they can’t watch TV, so they’ll be ready to go the bedroom. Thank you.”
Mandy dropped the receiver before she blew a gasket. It’s just a matter of time before the kids will refuse to go with my parents, just as they aren’t overjoyed to go with Lester and Pearl. Billy seems to be the only person who makes them happy.
Mandy and Billy went to the Ramada Inn, where they had a steak with all the trimmings, and Billy ordered a bottle of wine. Mandy drank two glasses of wine while they waited for the food but she wasn’t used to drinking, and soon she was light-headed. She began to find small things funny and got a case of the silly giggles. By the third glass, she fumbled with her silverware when her steak was set in front of her, and she giggled harder.
“There you go. Let your hair down and have a good time. Doesn’t if feel good to feel loose?” Billy said as he held his glass up high and looked at her.
“I’m not sure. I’ve never felt like this before. But I’ve had enough wine. You finish the bottle.” She thought she saw a gleam of greed in his eyes about finishing the wine, but she was too tipsy to think about it. She was astonished by how quickly Billy polished off the last drop.
Just as they finished the meal, Mandy said, “Where is that music coming from? It sounds great. I seldom get to hear music anymore.”
“It’s coming from the lounge next door. This place has great bands and a big dance floor. Do you like to dance?”
“I love to dance. But again, it’s been so long, I’m not sure I remember how.”
“Let’s go test your feet,” Billy said as he signaled the waiter.
Mandy danced, had a few more drinks, and she couldn’t remember a time when she’d had so much fun. She and Billy stayed until the lounge closed at 1am. Mandy was a little unsteady, but Billy held her tightly, got her to the car, drove home, then got her inside the house.
“Thanks for a great night. I’m a little blitzed. My first time. I think it’ll be my last time. I don’t like the feeling of being out of control. I sure would like to go dancing again, though.” Mandy’s words were a bit slurred.
“I’ll take you dancing anytime you want to go,” he said. Then he scooped her into his arms and carried her down the hallway, into the bedroom, and dropped her in the middle of the bed. “Should I undress you?”
“No, thank you. I’m in control enough to do that. Just lock up on your way out.”
Billy lay down beside her. “How about I just lay here and hold you until you fall asleep. Then I’ll let myself out and lock up.”
“Okay,” Mandy answered.
Billy put one arm under her head and the other around her waist.
It feels so good to have somebody to hold me, Mandy thought. Then she turned her head and kissed him deeply. One thing led to another, and soon they were undressed. Billy began kissing her from head to toe.
Mandy was orbiting around the moon and stars when reality hit her and she jumped out of bed. “No! I’m not on the pill. We can’t do this. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” She wanted him to leave.
Billy said, “You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant. I’m shooting blanks. Well, I shoot sperm, but my little spermies don’t have tails and they can’t swim.”
“I’ve never heard of anything so crazy!”
“Well, neither had I until I was tested and the doctor showed them to me under a microscope. There’s plenty of them, but they’re tailless. And that’s why the lady I dated for two years never got pregnant. We never used any kind of birth control. You’re safe with me.” He looked at her with wide-eyed innocence and nodded.
“Well, I don’t know—”
Billy pulled her to him and started kissing her stomach. “Come on back to bed.”
When it was over, Mandy lay in darkness, feeling cold and empty, and she could hear Billy snoring in fulfillment. Tears ran down her face. As she wiped her tears, she heard the faint sound of wind chimes. Her heart wanted to travel on the wind, to take her places far away from where she was.
Play music for me. Soothe my tortured soul.
She drifted into sleep.
“Amanda!”
Mandy shot up in bed, not sure if she were dreaming or if Iris was really standing in the doorway to her bedroom, tic and all.
“Amanda, I can’t believe this! But I had a hunch about what you were up to when you wanted the children to say overnight. You’re nothing but a tramp! You were born from trash and you’ll always be trash. After all your father and I have done for you—this is the way you repay us?” Iris’s face turned red as she turned and huffed away. Mandy watched as she left the room. She heard
footsteps running up the hallway, then the door slammed, sounding like a shot.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she mumbled, fear in her voice.
Billy sat up in bed. “Who the hell was that crazy bitch?”
“My mother. Holy shit on a shingle! You have no idea the hell I’m going to catch.” She buried her face in her hands and shook her head. “Sweet Jesus!”
“What’s the big deal? You’re twenty-seven, you’ve been married and you have two children. It’s not like you’re still sixteen and a virgin.” He looked at her and his eyes seemed to be incredulous as he realized that Mandy still bent down for her parents.
“There’s no way to explain my parents, Billy. Just get dressed and get out of here. I’ll go get my children and catch nine kinds of hell, then listen to Mother boo-hoo and pray over me.”
“I’ll go get the kids.”
“Oh, God, no! That would just throw fuel on the flames. Just go home, okay?”
“Okay,” Billy said. He quickly dressed and headed home.
Mandy dressed and squared her shoulders. “I’m tired of their shit, Nikko.”
You’ll need more help than I can give you. You’ve cut your throat this time. Just bleed, then we’ll figure out what to do.
Mandy’s mind was in an uproar as she pulled to the curb in front of the Hodge’s house. The wooden door was open and Kati and Tony were standing at the storm door waiting for her. Mandy motioned for them to come. They opened the storm door and they ran to her. Mandy opened the car door so they could jump in, but before they made it all the way to the car, Otis came running out behind them.
“You kids go back in the house with Grandmother, and you stay there until I tell you to come out. You hear me?” His tone was fierce and frightening.
Kati and Tony ran back inside and shut the storm door behind them.
Otis made his way to the car. “Amanda, this is the last straw. Your school tuition will not be paid. You’ll never get another dime. You’re on your own. Since you won’t listen, then you’ll have to feel. We’re done with you! And you were warned, so once again, you’ve made your bed. Now lay in it!” Otis slammed the car door and the car rocked.