Can't Get Enough of You

by Bette Ford

  “You can’t mean that.”

  “I do,” he said without hesitation. “You were reluctant from the first, not even wanting us to be friends. I was so busy trying to convince you we had a future that I couldn’t see what was right in front of my face. It couldn’t work no matter how hard I tried. What I don’t get was why I didn’t learn from the past. It would have saved us so much heartache. Hell, it wasn’t like I didn’t know how you felt, that you didn’t trust me. You came right out and told me.”

  Scott laughed bitterly. “When I entered the draft, you felt as if I broke my promise to finish college and marry you, but I saw it as a once-in-a-lifetime chance to make a dream come true. I invited you along for the ride. I never set out to hurt you, but that’s what happened.”

  He stopped as he stared down at his athletic shoes, as if they’d held the answers. He took a breath. He didn’t look at her when he said, “Who knows which one of us was right or wrong about that. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s important was that your trust and faith in me were never the same after that. Because of it, you stopped believing I was a man of my word.”

  She surprised him when she said, “I wanted to believe. I wanted you. I wanted us to work this time, so badly. And I was trying to forget the past as we moved toward the future. I was so close to making a commitment to you, but then I saw . . .” She broke off.

  Scott finished for her, “When you saw me in bed with Leah, all the old doubts and fears came right back. And for a good reason. You don’t love me, Jenna. Without trust there can be no lasting love. Sure, we said we loved each other, but evidently not enough to make it through the tough times.”

  He admitted, “I saw this thing with Leah coming, but I wasn’t sharp enough to put it all together. I knew she was after me and that she didn’t respect our boundaries. She was giving off signals left and right. I should have warned you, but I knew you’d think I was overreacting. When it came to your sister, you saw her the way you wanted her to be, not the way she really was. So I kept my mouth shut. I could see that she resented you, and it bothered me. But it never occurred to me that she could have gone as far as she did. That error was costly.”

  “You should have told me,” Jenna insisted.

  He nodded. “I realize that now. I was furious when she pretended to be you, but you just went along with it. You were so happy to have her back, you couldn’t get past it. She could do no wrong in your eyes. I had a bad feeling that night, knew I should have gone home, but I didn’t.”

  “Scott, I knew she flirted with you. I didn’t like it, but I said and did nothing to stop it. We’ve both made mistakes. I readily admit that.”

  “It was much more than that. I realize now that I need a different woman. A woman who believes in me and trusts me to never deliberately hurt or betray her. I want that kind of trust.” He said vehemently, “Your sister didn’t break us up, you did. I was convinced that you were the woman I needed and deserved. I know now that I made a huge mistake. I’m sorry about that, just like I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

  Scott’s eyes burned from unshed tears, and his heart was heavy with grief for what could not be. Just because he loved and believed in her didn’t mean she loved him back with the same intensity. It kept coming back to that one point. She’d been right all along. They were good at hurting each other. They didn’t belong together.

  “Good-bye, Jenna. Let yourself out.”

  He walked out of the room and didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. It hurt too damn much.

  “There’s just no way we’re going to let you stay home moping on New Year’s Eve,” Sherri Ann said over the telephone. “So get up, comb your hair, and put something pretty on. Come on over to my place. We’re having a girlfriends’ night in. Don’t say no. Trenna and Maureen are coming. We’re going to eat, drink lots of champagne, talk trash about men. Doesn’t that sound like a good time?”

  Jenna sighed unhappily. She’d been doing just that, moping at home. She hadn’t stepped out of her door since the day she’d gone to talk to Scott. She’d thought she’d been prepared for all possibilities when she’d arrived at his place.

  She’d gone over everything so many times, her conversations with her siblings before going to see Scott. She’d tried to recall exactly what she’d said to him. Her expectations hadn’t been lofty. She’d gone seeking answers, and he’d given them to her. The result had been devastating.

  She’d misjudged what she’d seen. His culpability began and ended with him being in bed with her twin. He hadn’t invited Leah to join him. He’d been asleep until she’d climbed in and tried to seduce him into making love to her.

  It had taken her too long to understand what had really happened that morning. She believed Scott when he said he would have pushed Leah away the instant he’d recognized he’d been holding the wrong twin. The truth had been as clear as his disillusionment and disappointment in her when he’d looked directly into her eyes and answered her questions.

  Unfortunately for Jenna, the truth had come too late to repair their relationship. The damage had been done when she’d refused to listen to his explanation. That failure had convinced Scott she didn’t love and trust him, not enough to build a future together.

  What they’d discovered so long ago on U of D’s campus was finally over. That small glimmer of hope buried in her heart had been ultimately dimmed. There had been no loud argument, no heated exchange. It had ended with Scott walking out of her life.

  Jenna had been too stunned to do anything but stare after him. The realization had finally hit her in slow, painful degrees. She had wanted to curl into a ball of utter misery and howl her anguish. Pride had saved her from making a complete fool of herself and had stopped her from going after him to plead for his forgiveness. Pride had been the only thing that had gotten her out of his house and into her car without falling apart.

  Scott had made his decision. She had no choice but to respect it. She didn’t recall the drive home. Once she’d gotten inside her home, she’d given in to the emotional turmoil. She’d done nothing but cry, pouring out her grief. The worst part was that everything he’d said had been painfully true.

  She’d placed the blame for their original breakup squarely on his shoulders. She’d believed that by following his dream, he had deliberately set out to hurt her. She hadn’t realized the truth, not until he’d pointed it out. His actions hadn’t been calculated. Yet they had seemed that way to her because of the hurt they had caused her when he’d broken his promise to her. Scott was correct. She’d treated him as if he’d intended to harm her, while she’d ignored his proposal that they marry and share this new chapter in his life.

  At an early age she had learned there weren’t a lot of things she could count on in life. That was why promises had always been important to her. She made a point to keep hers and expected no less from those she loved.

  Scott was wrong about one thing. She did love and trust him. It was no accident that she’d welcomed Scott’s support or that he’d been the first person she’d told when the private investigator had found Lincoln. Scott had been there for her every time she’d needed him.

  “Jenna? Are you still there?”

  “Yes, I’m here. I was just thinking. Sherri Ann, do you believe what they say? That hindsight is always perfect?”

  “Jenna, please stop beating yourself up about Scott. You had no way of knowing what he was thinking or feeling the morning you found him with Leah. You did your best under drastic circumstances. You weren’t at fault!”

  “I could have listened to—”

  “Jenna! Forget it for one night,” Sherri Ann begged. “Please.”

  “It’s cold outside,” Jenna said halfheartedly. She wasn’t eager to inflict her miserable mood on anyone else.

  “It’s winter in Michigan. It’s supposed to be cold. Get dressed.”

>   “It’s also snowing.”

  Sherri Ann sighed. “Does that mean you aren’t coming? Because I will come and get your uncooperative behind. I’m not letting you spend New Year’s Eve alone.”

  Jenna sighed. “You can’t leave your own party to come after me.”

  “Then I suggest you get your butt in gear. Or I’ll bring Laura with me. You get yourself over here. You’ve got an hour and a half. If you’re not here, expect us at your door, missy.”

  Jenna laughed. “Missy? I’ll get dressed. Has anyone told you that you’re bossy?”

  “Yeah, you. So what else is new? I mean it, Jenna Marie.”

  “I’m coming. Give me an extra half hour. I need to take a shower first.”

  “Not a minute longer. Bye.”

  Still brooding, Jenna was slow to move. For weeks she had doubted her ability to hold onto him. Scott had come a long way from being the gangly young man she’d first fallen in love with. She’d had no defenses against the sophisticated, debonair man who had pursued her with intensity. He was an accomplished man with striking good looks, a great deal of masculine grace, and wealth. Naturally, he drew male and female attention wherever he went. Scott didn’t have to do much—just show up and he was mobbed for autographs. It was the way women flocked to him that Jenna found particularly disturbing. He had been involved with some of the most glamorous women in the world.

  That morning she’d been very close to accepting his proposal. Yet all the old insecurities had rushed back the moment she’d seen him in bed with Leah. Jenna knew she was pretty, but she wasn’t outgoing or strikingly beautiful. She didn’t spend hours on her hair, nails, and makeup. She didn’t wear curve-hugging clothes, and her experiences with men were limited. She’d only slept with one man. It hadn’t been a stretch for Jenna to believe he preferred her sexy, flamboyant twin.

  Scott had assumed that her lack of faith in him proved she didn’t love him. What Jenna lacked was confidence in her feminine appeal. It wasn’t something she could gain from a textbook. Her problem had nothing to do with how she felt about him.

  Jenna sighed. She didn’t want to spend hours pretending to be excited about the upcoming year. It would be a year that wouldn’t include Scott in her life. Despite all that they’d been through and all the hurtful things that they had both said and done to each other, she still loved him. And it hurt.

  A glance at the bedside clock sent her hurrying to get ready. Hoping to at least look festive, Jenna teamed a glittery silver-beaded sweater with a long black velvet skirt. She’d just pulled on a knee-length black boot when the telephone rang.

  Grabbing the telephone, she said, “Sherri Ann, I’m heading to the garage to warm up the car right now.”

  “Hi, Sis. Looks like I was lucky to catch you at home.”

  “Lincoln! It’s good to hear your voice.” Jenna’s voice wobbled. “How are you? Carolyn? And little Corrie?”

  “Wonderful.”

  Brother and sister visited for a few minutes. Then he insisted on knowing how she really was holding up. Brushing away a single tear, Jenna quickly recounted her meeting with Scott. She admitted to being a little down, but in the hope of ending their conversation on an upbeat note, she told Lincoln of her plans to ring in the new year with friends. After telling Jenna about his plans to spend a romantic evening at home with Carolyn, Lincoln told Jenna that Leah was going out with friends. Jenna held back an angry retort. She quickly ended the call, cheered by her brother’s promise to phone the next day.

  Bundled in a long wool coat, muffler, gloves, and hat, Jenna hurried out and nearly took a spill on an icy patch on her way into the detached garage. Grumbling all the while, she lifted the lid of the aluminum garbage can where she stored rock salt, then tossed some onto the spot.

  Once the car was warm, she backed out of her recently shoveled driveway, thanks to the neighbor’s teenage son. The snow was steadfastly falling, and the wind was fierce. She shook her head as she drove past the neighborhood liquor and convenience store. It was brightly lit, and, judging by the number of cars in the lot, the party was on.

  As she maneuvered around a deserted car left on the side of the road, she took her foot off the accelerator. Rather than slowing, the car picked up speed as the tires spun on a sheet of black ice. Thanks to Scott’s tutoring during their college days, she knew better than to apply the brakes. Instead, she focused on staying calm and loosening her death grip on the steering wheel.

  “This makes no sense. I’d rather be at home in my nice, warm house celebrating with a pint of triple caramel chunk ice cream,” Jenna complained aloud.

  The wind was howling and the snow wasn’t letting up. Despite the front and rear defrosters going full blast and the windshield wipers moving at top speed, she was having trouble seeing.

  “Oh, Scott . . .” she sighed, recalling the things they’d done together when they’d first fallen in love. Even though he’d given her driving lessons, he hadn’t liked her being out alone at night. He’d often picked her up from her night class so she wouldn’t have to take the bus home.

  Deciding it was too slick to chance the steep incline at the entrance to the expressway, she stayed on the well-lit street, even though it would take twice as long. Jenna began to relax as she approached the Wayne State University area, still several blocks from Sherri Ann’s condo. If she got stuck around here, she could get out and walk. She giggled. At this rate it might be after midnight by the time she got there.

  As she neared the busy intersection, she began to slow even more, anticipating the traffic light changing to red. Suddenly an SUV moving too fast for the elements was behind her with horn blaring. Rather than decreasing speed, it seemed to pick up speed as the driver came barreling toward Jenna.

  She tried to speed up, but her tires were unable to gain traction on the slick pavement. The SUV’s brakes screeched as it plowed into the back of Jenna’s dated compact car. The impact sent her car hurtling through the red light and into the intersection. She swerved to avoid hitting an oncoming car, while her car seemed to pick up even more speed on the ice. Struggling to gain control of the car, Jenna screamed as the car crashed into a lamppost.

  Twenty-nine

  “Something’s wrong. She should be here by now,” Laura said as she listened to the repeated ring of Jenna’s telephone.

  “Stop that! You’re scaring me, making me think something’s really wrong,” Sherri Ann complained, her forehead creased in a frown.

  Laura said, “It’s not like her to say she’s coming and then not show up! She hasn’t answered her home or cell. It’s nearly eleven.”

  “Laura’s right. Jenna should be here by now,” Maureen said.

  “Maybe she and Scott made up? And she hasn’t gotten around to calling,” Trenna suggested hopefully.

  The ladies were seated around Sherri Ann’s living room, with a bounty of food laid out on the large coffee table and the champagne chilling in an ice bucket.

  Sherri Ann shook her head. “That’s not likely, considering how she sounded earlier. She wasn’t expecting him. But even if he had shown up at the last minute, she would have called.”

  “Well, I can’t just sit around, doing nothing but worrying. I’m going to drive over to her place to check on her.” Laura got up, heading into the foyer for her coat and boots.

  “Wait! I’m going with you,” Sherri Ann called, then turned to her guests. “You don’t . . .”

  “Don’t worry about us. You two go. Trenna and I will stay here in case Jenna suddenly calls or shows up,” Maureen volunteered. “She might be having car trouble, especially with the weather being so bad.”

  “You don’t mind waiting?” Sherri Ann straightened from putting on boots and reaching for her hooded coat.

  Bundled up in a down-filled coat, Laura waited with car keys in her hand. “We’ll call as
soon as we get there,” Laura said.

  “Drive carefully.” Trenna waved from the open doorway. “Don’t forget to call!”

  “We will,” Laura called back. While she started the car, Sherri Ann grabbed a long-handled snowbrush and scraper to clear away the snow.

  Neither foster sister voiced her fears as they sat waiting for the defroster to clear the windows. They began to retrace the route Jenna normally took. They were nearing the busy intersection a few blocks away from Sherri Ann’s condo when Sherri Ann shouted, “Slow down. There’s been an accident. Oh, no! That looks like Jenna’s car against that post!”

  Shaking with fear, Laura managed to slow the car to a crawl and ease over to the side of the road. “Are you sure? I can’t see anything!” Snow was falling, and the windshield wipers were going full blast.

  “Come on, Laura. We’ve got to go see if it’s our Jenna.”

  A policeman was there directing traffic away from the accident while the approaching EMS vehicle blared in the background. Surrounded by sirens and a growing crowd, Laura and Sheri Ann hurried toward the dark blue car. Tears of fear and disbelief were racing down their cheeks as they neared the scene.

  “Let us through!” Laura yelled over the din of sirens and curious onlookers. “That’s our sister!” They pushed their way to the front of the crowd.

  “She’s not moving! Laura, she’s not moving!” Sherri Ann sobbed, unaware that they were clinging to each other for support.

  “She’s going to be alright! She has to be!” Laura insisted, wiping away blinding tears. “That’s our sister! We have to get to her!” She tried to rush past the authorities blocking the way. “Why aren’t they doing anything to help her?”

  “Ladies, you have to stay back. They’re doing everything they can to get her out of the car.”