“What does it say?” Sterling asked.
“October 23, 1833 - Mr. Hall accompanied me on my walk today. He tells me not to call him that anymore, Mr. Hall, I mean, as we are to be married soon. Yet I still find it difficult to address him in such an informal way. Sterling. Somehow the word does not feel right on my lips. I say this not because I am not fond of Mr. Hall. Quite the contrary. I care for him a great deal and I know he will make a splendid husband. It is entirely a matter of respect. He and I come from different worlds. He is used to getting his way and I, as the daughter of a lowly fisherman, have been taught to never forget my place in this world. Mr. Hall could have anyone his heart desires. I still do not know why he chose me, nor am I entirely certain he will not change his mind about me...”
Michael looked over to Sterling for some sort of reaction, but there was none. Had he known this about his wife? Had she eventually learned to confide in him? Something inside told Michael that the answer was ‘no.’
Emily skimmed ahead to another page and resumed reading.
“November 19, 1833 - As the wedding draws ever closer, I am beginning to realize that it may, in fact, happen. Perhaps I’ve been the fool to think otherwise. Sarah tells me that these feelings are natural and I will adapt to the idea of marriage soon enough. I have neither the heart to tell her nor Father nor especially dear Sterling the true nature of my reservation...”
Michael closed his eyes. Of course there was more. There was always more. Joanna couldn’t just be like any other girl, thrilled to be marrying the richest guy in town. She just had to have second thoughts, thoughts that she’d apparently never confessed to anyone outside of her journal.
“You still want to hear this, Sterling?” Luke asked.
“Yes,” Sterling answered with certainty.
Mrs. Drake eyed both of them like they had just escaped from the funny farm.
“Anything else, Emily?” Luke asked.
“Not really in this journal - oh wait! The last entry. January 17, 1834.” She cleared her throat and began to read.
“My wedding is less than a week away, yet never before have I felt so alone, so confused, or so ungrateful. Sterling is wonderful. He is everything I could ever hope for in a husband: gentle, kind, loyal. He is a learned man, thoughtful, though not entirely patient. He knows what he wants and will stop at nothing until he has his way. A defect of being raised by the wealthy, I suppose. Aside from that minor flaw, he could very well be the man of my dreams. Although, I fear he has cast all of his hope upon this marriage and that his capacity for happiness exists only with me. It is for that reason that I come to you.
“I fear I will let him down, and in a way, I fear I already have. If I am not perfect for him, the shining example of everything he believes me to be, he will be heartbroken. He is such a dear and, I am loathe to write it, fragile soul and I could not bear to hurt him.
“I have received word from John. Oh, how long has it been since I last wrote his name? After he departed on this most recent voyage, I was certain I would never hear from him again. Even Sarah advised me not to allow my heart to dwell on him. We are worlds apart, after all. And yet, when we were together, no matter how brief a time, I felt whole, complete, as though neither world existed at all, only he and I.
“Oh, I am a wicked woman for even daring to think such things, let alone entrust them to this meager diary, and only days away from my wedding vows. But I must get the words out lest I lose my heart and mind completely.
“Please, please know that I do love Sterling. I do. And in four days, I will gladly kneel beside him and pledge to him my fidelity and my honor. I only hope that one day, I can also pledge to him my heart. My whole heart.”
Emily closed the book.
“That’s where it cuts off,” she said.
So there they had it. Joanna had been in love with another man. But that didn’t mean that she hadn’t loved Sterling. In fact, she’d even stated as much. Perhaps throughout their short marriage, Joanna had forgotten about John and learned to live happily ever after, just as madly in love with Sterling as he was with her.
But unless they found the other diaries, there was no way to know for sure.
“Sterling, if you want, we can keep looking -” he began to say, but when he turned to face him, Sterling - and Kate - had vanished. “Sterling?”
Journals forgotten, Michael, Luke, Brink, Emily, and even Carolyn went from door to door, calling out both Kate’s name and Sterling’s. Afraid that Sterling might try to pull the stunt with the window again, Michael and Brink bolted up the stairs toward the upper room only to find it empty and untouched.
Just as he was about to dart out again, an old painting of a ship at sea drew his eye.
Joanna feared the ocean, he suddenly remembered. Sterling had told him that during their conversation at his grave. The same conversation in which Michael had confessed that he would do anything for Kate.
Sterling had believed that Joanna’s fear of the ocean had stemmed from a fear of losing her father, but now, Michael wondered if even that was a half-truth. John had clearly been a seafarer himself. Perhaps the ocean served as a reminder of the man she knew, deep down, she could never have.
“She turned to the forest,” Sterling’s voice echoed inside Michael’s mind.
The forest. His gravesite. His and Joanna’s favorite place.
Suddenly, Michael knew exactly where he’d find Kate.
For what he sincerely hoped was the last time, he raced down the flights of stairs, out the front door of the mansion, and finally, into the forest, back to Sterling Hall’s grave.
Sure enough, she was there, kneeling in front of the headstone, her head bowed low, her blonde hair falling gracefully around her face. Michael approached cautiously, unsure of whether he was seeing Kate or Sterling. He prayed it was the former, but he had a feeling Sterling would hold on to her, at least until he’d said his peace.
Michael knew that Sterling heard him, but he still didn’t look up. Instead, he clutched Kate’s fists in her lap and stared, as if in a trance, at his own headstone. Michael was beginning to wonder what he should say, if anything, when Sterling finally broke the silence.
“She cried on our wedding day.” Kate’s voice was barely a whisper, the words heavy with heartbreak.
“What?” Michael asked. He knelt down beside Sterling, finally catching a better glimpse of Kate’s face. He was stunned to see tears streaming down her face.
“She tried to hide it, but I knew. I saw the sadness in her smile, the tears through her laughter.”
“Maybe she was happy,” Michael suggested.
“No. She wasn’t,” Sterling replied with certainty. “I’ve been the fool in all of this. I mistook her compassion for love.”
“She did love you, Sterling. She even said so!”
“She pitied me,” Sterling spat.
“Maybe she did, but that means that she cared about you. Sterling, she knew how much you loved her. And maybe if we find the other journals -”
“There is no need. I know what they will say.” Sterling’s tone had softened again. “She never mentioned him to me knowingly, but there were nights she would tremble and weep in her dreams, always calling out the same name. And it wasn’t mine.”
John, Michael thought.
“She tried to love me, and she did a very good job of it. But in the end, I was never what she wanted. I was never enough...” With that, Sterling lost all composure. He pressed the heel of Kate’s hand to her forehead and dissolved into heart wrenching sobs.
Michael didn’t know what to do or how to comfort him. Had he been with Kate, he would have taken her in his arms, kissed her, and assured her that everything would be alright. But with Sterling, he didn’t even know where to begin, so he decided to go with the first thing that came to mind.
“Kate was engaged once,” he said. He wasn’t sure if that was what Sterling wanted to hear, but something inside told him to keep going. “His name
was Trevor. But he died and she - she lost her memory of him.” Sterling didn’t say anything. Michael continued. “Even though she doesn’t have any conscious memories of him, I know that somewhere, deep inside, at least some part of her does remember. She has a scrapbook full of pictures of him. She’s still in touch with his mom, and she even visits him in the graveyard. She loves him, even though she can’t remember him. I know a part of her will always love him, and trust me, that is not an easy feeling to live with. But I know she loves me too, and the love she feels for Trevor doesn’t in any way impact the way that she loves me.” Michael hoped he was making at least a little sense. “Joanna did love you, Sterling, and she honored and respected you. You mattered to her. And I understand that may not be enough for you, but I don’t want you thinking that she didn’t care, or that she married you out of pity.”
After a long moment, Sterling turned Kate’s tearstained face up toward Michael.
“Do you truly believe that, young man?”
“I do.”
“And you still believe that she has... crossed over?”
Michael knew that one had to be answered delicately.
“Deep down, yeah, I do believe that. I think her spirit is at peace. But I also think that when your time comes and you finally get there, she’s going to be real happy to see you.”
“You do?” Sterling asked, tears once again shimmering in Kate’s bright hazel eyes.
“Yeah, I really do.” Michael told him earnestly. “I think she’s missed you.”
“I miss her too,” Sterling whispered.
Then, he closed Kate’s eyes and took a deep breath. As he exhaled, a warm golden glow engulfed Kate. She turned her face up to the sky as the light grew brighter and brighter until it became a golden white flash, so bright that Michael had to shield his eyes.
And then, just like that, the light was gone, and Kate was falling back, straight into his arms. Anxious and far too hopeful, Michael held her and cupped her face in his hand.
“Kate?” he whispered.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and blinked up at him.
“Michael?” she asked, sounding confused and weary.
Michael couldn’t contain himself. With a rush of joy and love and everything in between, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her so tight that, had he been stronger, he probably would have cut off her air supply.
“Oh, God, it is so good to see you,” he told her. Then he loosened his embrace, just a little, and looked her in the eye. “I love you, Kate.”
“I love you too...” she replied, still quite visibly lost. “Why am I crying?”
Michael grinned and took both of her hands.
“It’s kind of a long story,” he said. It was only then that he realized that while her left hand held his, her right hand was still tightly balled in a fist. “What’s wrong with your hand?”
At first, Kate didn’t seem to understand what he meant. Then she glanced down to her hand and uncurled her fingers.
There, in the palm of her hand, sunlight danced and glittered off the dozens of blood-red gems of Joanna Stanton’s garnet necklace.
Chapter 31
“I still can’t believe it,” Kate said. She, Luke, and Michael were all camped out in their terminal, waiting for their flight, which had been delayed for at least another two hours. “I can’t believe I was possessed, like full-blown Exorcist possessed, and you didn’t film it.”
“Not my fault. Your boyfriend told me I wasn’t allowed to,” Luke tattled.
And as usual, it was back to Kate and Luke versus Michael. Brink had high-tailed it back to Dallas on an earlier flight, claiming that he had better things to do than sit around and wait for a plane. What exactly those things were, Michael had no clue, but he was sure that if his friend had been there, he would have been laughing right along with Kate and Luke.
“Sterling was threatening to hurt you! I didn’t want Luke to do anything dumb, like provoke him into cutting your arm open with a piece of glass,” Michael said.
“Yeah, speaking of which, how am I supposed to explain this to Gavin? Or my parents? They’re never going to let me go anywhere with you again,” Kate teased lightly.
“Well, you could try telling them the truth,” Luke suggested.
They all exchanged glances.
“Nah.”
By that point, they’d all begun tearing into the snacks they’d bought at one of the terminal shops. Luke gnawed on a piece of beef jerky while simultaneously chugging mouthfuls of root beer, Kate scarfed down a bag of potato chips, and Michael treated himself to a bag of sour gummy worms. They’d been his favorite as a kid, and he hadn’t had them in years. After the week they’d just had, he’d learned that one of the best ways to ruin a life was to take the good things for granted, whether that be a kiss from the girl he loved or a piece of his favorite candy.
“Oh, I forgot to tell y’all,” Luke muttered through a mouthful of jerky.
“Swallow, then talk,” Kate advised.
Luke did as she said.
“Anyway, I forgot to tell you, while we were cleaning up the mess in the Storybook Room, we found a few more of Joanna’s journals.”
“Really?” Kate asked. “Did they say anything interesting?”
“No. For the most part, she was really happy with Sterling. She loved him and she was looking forward to starting a family with him. They were trying to get pregnant when she got sick, just your typical cough and fever. But then,” he paused to take a sip of root beer. “Then, she got a letter from John’s brother over in Europe. John’s ship had been lost at sea. She died only a few days after her last entry.”
“It sounds like she just gave up,” Kate said.
“Or died of a broken heart,” Michael added.
“That’s really sad. Poor Joanna.”
“Hey, she’s at peace now,” Luke reminded her. “As is Sterling.”
“Are you going to mention that in the episode? That Stanton Hall isn’t haunted anymore?” Kate asked.
“No, I think I’ll let them go on believing that it is. Give Carolyn and Emily a little extra business from all the folks wanting to stay in a haunted bed and breakfast. And who knows? The human brain is a fascinating little device. Sometimes when people go in expecting to find a ghost, the mind creates one for you.”
“Mind over matter,” Kate said.
“Exactly. By the way, did Emily tell her mom yet?” Luke asked.
“I don’t think so,” Michael said. He’d told Kate and Luke about Emily the night before, after they’d all eaten and washed up and had answered Kate’s numerous questions about what had gone on while she’d been, as Luke put it, “under the influence.”
“I don’t blame her. I think Carolyn still thinks I was faking,” Kate said.
“At least she was nice enough to let us stay a few extra days,” Luke said.
“That’s true,” Kate sighed and leaned into Michael, resting her head on his shoulder.
“You know, I just found out that we’ll be heading down to Florida for our next investigation. You guys in?”
“No,” Kate said.
“Absolutely not,” Michael replied at the same time.
Luke chuckled and downed the rest of his root beer.
“I mean, if you want to take us to Florida, then yes, we’re totally in. But if we have to go ghost hunting again, sorry, no way. We’re out,” Kate said.
“Oh, you’ll change your minds. Sooner or later,” Luke grinned.
“We’ll see about that.” Michael didn’t share his friend’s certainty or his enthusiasm. The only thing he wanted was to go home, eat, sleep for about twelve hours, and then live happily ever after with the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, he’d also come to learn that life was rarely ever that simple. It wasn’t like a movie where the credits rolled after all the conflicts had been resolved or a book wrapping up its story on the final page. The story of a human life never ended, not even in death. But really, that was a good t
hing.
“So, you still think you’ll take that job at the insurance company, Mikey?” Luke asked.
“Actually, I think they gave that job away after I told them I was going to be unavailable on the day they wanted me to start,” Michael replied dryly.
“Oh well. Easy come, easy go.”
Actually, no job was “easy come,” but Michael didn’t feel like arguing. Instead, he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Kate’s vanilla perfume. He’d almost dozed off when he heard a phone chime. Michael didn’t open his eyes, but he felt Kate shifting around, like she was reaching into her pocket for her cell phone.
“Who is it?” Luke asked.
“Gavin. I texted him earlier to tell him our flight was delayed,” Kate murmured as she typed out a response. “Listen Luke, I’m really sorry about him and Gail.”
“How come?”
“Well, he’s my brother so I feel like it was my responsibility to make sure he behaved himself, but he didn’t, and he stirred up all that unnecessary drama,” Kate said. “I’m also sorry that... that you had to see her with another guy.”
Michael opened his eyes again. Now he was interested.
“What are you talking about?” Luke asked.
“The way you were acting whenever they were together, I mean, it seemed pretty obvious that it made you jealous.”
Luke stared at her for a moment before he burst out laughing.
“Wait a minute. You thought I was jealous?”
“Well, yeah!” Kate said, clearly surprised by his reaction. “I mean, you always got after her whenever she’d hit on Gavin. You blew up at her for spending the afternoon with him. You always just seemed so angry whenever she was around him.”
“Oh man, how do I explain this?” Luke asked, rubbing his face in his hands. “Gail is one of my best friends, but she and I... we clash. I get frustrated with her because she takes her stupid flings more seriously than she does her job. That’s not to say she’s not good at her job. I just wish she’d act a little more professional when these people invite us into their lives and homes and businesses. That and...” Luke trailed off. He seemed to be debating whether or not to elaborate any further. Of course, it was too late. He’d already sparked their curiosity.
Between Worlds (Cemetery Tours Book 2) Page 23