Oh, please, God, she prayed. Please let her survive this. I know she can’t live forever, but don’t take her away from David now. He can’t lose her, too. Not on top of what I’m going to tell him.
She thought about how, this morning, she’d planned to let nothing prevent her from telling him the truth tonight. But how could she go through with it? Telling him now would be too cruel. He had more than enough to deal with without adding to his burden.
She sighed wearily. There was no help for it. The truth would have to wait until his grandmother was out of the woods.
Fleetingly she thought about the September show and all the work she still had ahead of her if she was going to fulfill her promise to Phillip Blythe. And how, if she continued to be Roxanne, she would be expected to pick up the threads of Roxanne’s life, too.
How was she going to do it all?
As soon as the thought formed, she felt guilty. How could she worry about the show or anything else when David’s grandmother was so ill and David was so worried?
Okay, so she wouldn’t worry about the show. Not now, anyway. But pretending to be Roxanne was another story. Continuing her pretense would be ten times more difficult here than it had been in Colombé. There, the only person she’d had to worry about was David. Here, in Houston, there were dozens of pitfalls and hundreds of ways she could stumble.
Well, somehow you’ll have to pull it off, because you owe David this much.
“Can I see her?” David was now saying to the doctor, and Rachel forced herself to pay attention.
“Why don’t you wait until later? Right now she’s heavily medicated and sleeping.”
David agreed, and they continued to talk for a few more minutes. Then Dr. Burnside said, “I’m going back to my office. I’ve left instructions for the charge nurse to call me if there’s any change at all in your grandmother’s condition. If not, I’ll be back about eight. Will you be here then?”
“I’ll be here.” David’s gaze met Rachel’s.
“And I’ll be here with him,” she said.
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to stay,” David said later. “I know you’re tired. Why don’t you go home?”
It was seven o’clock, and Rachel’s father had left hours ago.
“You, too, Virginia,” David added, giving the older woman a sympathetic smile. “Roxanne can drop you off on her way.”
Rachel started to protest, but she realized from his expression that he was worried about Virginia, who did, indeed, look exhausted. Still, she hated leaving him by himself.
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, correctly divining her hesitation.
“How long are you planning to stay?”
“I want to wait until Dr. Burnside gets back.”
“We’ll wait with you,” Virginia said.
“Yes, David, that’s only an hour more,” Rachel said.
“Look,” he said, “it’s ridiculous for all of us to stay. Nothing’s happening, and I doubt anything will happen, so there’s nothing you two can do here. Go home, get some rest. You can come back in the morning.”
“Well,” Rachel said, torn. She wanted to call Roxanne, so it was tempting to go.
“I’ll be home by eleven at the latest, I promise. And if something should happen, I’ll call you. And you, too, Virginia,” he added.
As much as Rachel wanted to be there with David— if only to offer moral support—after today’s events she knew it was even more imperative she talk to Roxanne as soon as possible. And she certainly couldn’t call her from the hospital. “All right,” she finally said. “If you really don’t think we should stay…”
“I really don’t.” He kissed her goodbye, holding her close for a long moment.
“Don’t worry, David. She’s going to be okay, I’m sure of it,” Rachel murmured.
He gave her a grateful smile.
Forty minutes later Rachel was once more dialing the number Roxanne had given her. The same woman answered the phone, much to Rachel’s relief. At least she would not have to explain anything to anyone else.
“Hello?” she said. “This is Rachel Carlton, Roxanne’s sister. Is she there, please?”
“Sí, Señorita Carlton, your sister is here. I will call her.” And Rachel heard her saying, “Roxanne, it is your sister.” There was some murmuring in the background, then the woman said, “She will be with you in a moment, señorita.”
A few minutes later Roxanne said, “Thank you, Señora Terraza. You can hang up now.” There was a distinct click, then Roxanne said, “Rachel! Thank goodness! I didn’t know what to think when I kept calling and calling and you were never there. What’s going on? Why didn’t you call me back?”
“I’m sorry. I, uh, I couldn’t. I’ve been away.”
“Away? I didn’t know you were planning to go anywhere.”
“I wasn’t. It, um, was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.”
“You? Spur of the moment?” Then she laughed. “Well, c’mon, don’t keep me in suspense. What happened? From your message today, I gather Daddy must be completely furious with me.”
“Um, not exactly.”
“Not exactly? What does that mean? Is he or isn’t’ he?”
It was just beginning to sink in to Rachel how difficult this whole situation was going to be to explain. “No, he’s not furious with you,” she said slowly.
“Really? That’s a shocker. In fact, it’s hard to believe, considering how he thinks the world of David.”
Not to mention you, Rachel thought. “I know, but—”
“And what about David? I’m sure he hates my guts.”
“No, David doesn’t hate your guts, either.”
“You mean he’s okay with this, too? They both are?” Roxanne’s voice was incredulous. “What the heck is going on?”
Rachel hesitated. Just say it! “The reason David doesn’t hate you and Daddy isn’t furious with you,” she said quickly, before she could lose her nerve, “is because neither David nor Daddy knows that you ran off with Carlos.”
“What? How can they not know?”
“Well, um, they both think—everyone thinks—it was me who ran off to Mexico.”
“You! But how? Didn’t you—” She broke off abruptly. “I don’t understand. What exactly are you saying?”
Taking a deep breath, Rachel said, “I’m saying that I, uh, stepped in for you, you know, like we used to do when we were younger. After you left with Carlos, I put on your wedding gown and…pretended to be you.”
There was a moment of stunned silence. “You can’t be serious.”
Rachel grimaced. “Oh, I’m serious, all right.”
“You…you took my place at the wedding?” Her voice rose with each word.
“Yes.”
“Rachel! My God, why on earth would you do something like that?”
Sighing, Rachel said, “I know this will be hard for you to understand, but after you left and I thought about what it would be like to go out there and, in front of all those people, tell David what had happened. I—I just couldn’t do it. He…he would have been so humiliated, and I just couldn’t hurt him that way.”
“But to pretend to be me!”
“I know, it…it seems drastic…”
“Drastic! Rachel, it’s…it’s crazy. I mean, he had to know sometime! I mean, you didn’t plan to be me forever, did you?”
Rachel knew she had no right to be irritated, but that was exactly how she was beginning to feel. “No, of course I didn’t plan to be you forever. I didn’t plan anything. I know it was probably stupid, but I just acted on instinct.”
“You can say that again.”
With every word, Rachel’s irritation grew. After all, Roxanne was the one who had started this whole mess, not Rachel. If Roxanne had done what Rachel had advised her to do weeks before the wedding, they would not even be having this conversation. “I planned to tell David the truth after the wedding was over, in private, so he wouldn’t have to be humiliated in
front of all those people” she said stiffly. “I thought that between us, we could come up with some kind of face-saving story.”
There was a long moment of silence. Then, in a more subdued voice, Roxanne said, “Guess I have no right to criticize you, do I?”
“No, you don’t.” Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, Rachel’s irritation vanished. In a softer voice she said, “Let’s not fight, okay? We both did impulsive things. Now we have to figure out the best way to deal with the situation.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry. But—and don’t get mad—I still don’t understand. You say you planned to tell him right after the wedding, but obviously, if he and Daddy still think you’re me, you haven’t.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“And when you said you’d been away when I called, on this spur-of-the-moment trip, you were actually… where?”
“I was in Colombé…with David.”
“On my honeymoon?”
All of Rachel’s earlier irritation returned, and with it, a new emotion—anger. “You know, Roxanne, we need to get something straight here. You’re the one who jilted David and left me to clean up the mess. So you no longer have any legitimate claim to anything that has to do with him or the wedding.”
A shocked silence followed. Then Rachel heard her sister sigh heavily. “You’re right, of course. I… It’s just that I’m having a hard time believing all this.”
“Yes, I’m sure you are. I do know how it must sound.”
“So you’re saying you went to Colombé and continued to pretend to be me.”
“Yes.”
“And…you slept with David?”
“Yes.” Images flickered in Rachel’s mind. Images that she would never forget. Images she never wanted to forget.
Roxanne was silent for so long, Rachel wondered if she was still there. When she finally spoke again, Rachel could tell she was trying to sound normal, but she didn’t. She sounded hurt.
“But why? Why did you do it? I know what you said, but going to Colombé..that’s pretty extreme. There’s got to be more to this than you’ve told me.”
Here it was, the real moment of truth.
Rachel closed her eyes. “I did it because I’m…” She swallowed. “I’m in love with David.”
“What?”
“I’m in love with David,” Rachel said more firmly, opening her eyes. “I’ve been in love with him since I was thirteen.” It felt so liberating to say it out loud; finally, the way she’d wanted to say it for years. “I love him so much, it hurts to look at him.” Her voice trembled with the passion so long denied. “I feel about him exactly the same way you said you feel about Carlos. And…and after the wedding I remembered what you said, you know, when Carlos came to the church. How sometimes in life we only get this one chance, and we have to seize it. So I seized it”
The words reverberated in the air between them.
“Oh, my God,” Roxanne said softly, all trace of hurt and resentment gone. Now all Rachel heard in her twin’s voice was the love and caring that had always existed between them. “Rachel, if that’s true, if you’ve loved David all this time, then…then I can’t even imagine what you must have felt when we became engaged. It…it must have been hell, and you never let on, you never said a word….”
“What would have been the point?” Rachel said with resignation. “David loved you.”
“Oh, Rach… Oh, God, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You couldn’t help it that he fell in love with you.”
“Maybe not, but I wish I’d known. I wish you’d told me.”
Rachel sighed. “Look, the past is the past. What we’ve got to think about now is the future.”
“Yes, of course,” Roxanne said slowly. “You’re right. The future is what counts now. So…if I’m understanding you correctly, after all this, the wedding and the honeymoon and everything, David still doesn’t know you’re the one he’s been with?”
“No, he still doesn’t know.”
“And both he…and Daddy…think you ran off to Mexico to marry Carlos.”
“Yes.”
“What did our dear father have to say about that?”
“He wasn’t very happy.”
Roxanne laughed wryly. “I have a feeling that’s an understatement.”
Rachel remembered the cold fury in her father’s eyes when she’d told him that “Rachel” had run off. “Yes, well, you know Daddy.”
Another long silence followed as each of them was lost in her own thoughts.
Then Roxanne sighed again. “You know, sweetie, I do understand now why you did what you did, and I’m not criticizing you. As you so clearly pointed out, I don’t have that right. But don’t you think that what we’ve got now is a hell of a lot worse mess than what we had before?”
Rachel grimaced. “Yes.”
“Back to my original question, then. When do you plan to tell David the truth? I mean, the longer you wait, the worse it’ll be.”
Rachel nodded, even though no one was there to see her. “I know, and I had planned to tell him today.”
“Had planned?”
“Uh-huh. But now I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because something awful’s happened. His grandmother had a heart attack earlier today.”
“Oh, no! Oh, dear. Is she all right?”
“I hope so.” Rachel then told Roxanne all about the ordeal and everything that had happened during the day. “Anyway, just as soon as she’s out of danger, I’ll tell him. I promise.”
“And Daddy.”
“No. Not this time. You’ll have to tell Daddy yourself.” Rachel didn’t know when she’d come to this decision, but it definitely felt right to her. It was going to be bad enough when Wylie realized the part she’d played in this whole mess. She had no intention of bearing the brunt of his initial shock and anger. As it was, it wouldn’t surprise her if he ending up forgiving Roxanne for what she’d done and not forgiving Rachel.
“You’re right,” Roxanne said after a bit. “I should be the one to tell Daddy. Oh, man, that’s gonna be fun.”
“Think about me,” Rachel said. “He’ll probably never speak to me again.”
“Aw, come on, maybe it won’t be that bad.”
“No, it’ll probably be worse.”
Roxanne chuckled. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?” ’
After a moment Rachel laughed, too. Better to laugh than cry, she thought.
“Just let me know when it’s safe to call him,” Roxanne said.
“Okay. I should know more about David’s grandmother’s condition in a few days. Hopefully, then I can come clean with him, and you can call Daddy.”
“So you’re gonna call me, right?”
“Yes. Will you be there, at this same number?”
“For the time being. Carlos expects a new assignment within the next month, so it would be foolish for us to try to find a place of our own for such a short time.”
“What’s it like, living there with his parents? Are they nice?”
“Oh, they’re wonderful people. I was afraid they wouldn’t like me. Carlos kept telling me it would be okay, but until I got here and saw that they were every bit as nice as he had said, I was worried. Anyway, they’re great, and I know you’ll love them, too, when you meet them. And it’s no problem staying here, because their home is enormous. Bigger than Daddy’s.”
That was saying something, Rachel thought, because the Carlton family home could easily house several families”.
“In fact, Carlos and I have our own separate wing. That’s common in aristocratic Mexican families, you know—having these apartamentos for the sons in the family. I do wish I had all of my things here, though. I was going to ask you to send the rest of my clothes, but I guess you need them if you’re pretending to be me.” This last was said wryly.
Rachel grimaced. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, it’s okay. Carlos has been buying me stuff
right and left. And I can go out and get anything I need.” She lowered her voice. “The Terrazas are very rich. I had no idea. And they’re very generous. Anyway, once I’ve talked to Daddy, maybe I’ll fly home and take care of packing up my stuff and getting rid of what I don’t want.”
“All right.”
They talked awhile longer, then Roxanne said, “Are you going to tell David you talked to me? Me as you, I mean.”
“Yes, I think I’ll have to. He’d wonder, otherwise.”
“Well, be sure and tell him I’m pulling for his grandmother.”
“I will.”
“And sweetie?”
“Yes.”
“I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yes,” said Rachel, swallowing over the lump in her throat. “I know that.”
It was long past midnight when David finally got home. He was sure Roxanne would be asleep. But when he walked into their bedroom she was propped up in bed, reading, and his heart lifted and some of his exhaustion fell away. She put down her book and smiled at him. “Hi.”
“Hi.” He walked over to the bed and leaned down to kiss her. A faint trace of something light and flowery clung to her skin, a welcome change from the smells of sickness he’d just left.
“How’s your grandmother doing? Did you get to see her?” Her blue eyes were filled with sympathy and concern.
He nodded wearily. “Yeah, but only for a minute. She was groggy and I’m not sure she even realized I was there.” He sat on the side of the bed and took her hand. “You know, I thought I was prepared, but it was still a shock. She looked so frail and old. I don’t know. It suddenly hit me that she’s not going to be around much longer.”
The realization had hit him hard, and he’d had to get out of her room, away from the medicinal smells and the machines and the tubes.
“I’m sorry,” Roxanne said quietly.
“I know.” He squeezed her hand.
“You look tired.”
“I am. I’m beat. I think I’ll get ready for bed.”
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