by Amy Marie
Irritation rises from the bottom of my toes to my face. She’s seeing someone? Is it her boss? How can I even be mad? It’s not like I expected her to wait for me. Hell, I didn’t even know that I wanted her to. Up until I spoke with my mom, I didn’t know how badly I wanted to be with her, and now it may be too late.
“What’s his name?” I force a bite down my throat. I don’t care what his name is.
“It’s a woman.”
I stop mid-chew. “A woman? You’re seeing a woman.” She nods. “Well, that’s some new information.”
“Yeah, Dr. Navan has been helping me through a lot lately. It’s nice to talk to someone with an outside opinion. She was recommended to me by a friend at work.” She takes a swig of beer. “I knew that if I wanted to start over and live a life I could be proud of I had to seek some counseling.”
I feel like an ass. I thought she was seeing someone else, and it’s her therapist. I could fucking kiss her right now for scaring me.
So I do.
I push my chair out and get up. Walking to her side of the table, she cranes her neck back to look at me. “Casen?”
I kiss her. It’s not romantic or passionate. It’s not even quick. It’s just a nice slow kiss, and it feels electric. I pull away and take my place back in my seat.
“What was that for?” she asks, once she catches her breath. Her lips are swollen and that looks beautiful on her.
“Just because.” I comment, but then ask, “Are you dating anyone?”
Embyr smiles. “I’m not. You?”
“Nope.”
“Good.” She asserts. “Can I say what I need to say now?”
I set down my chopsticks. “Please.”
She pushes her plate away and rests her elbows on the table, hands clasped.
“I’m going to talk and I don’t want you to interrupt. I’m going to say a lot because I have been thinking of all the things I’ve wanted to say to you for a long time, had I gotten the chance.”
I mimic my mother and zip my lips shut, earning me a laugh.
“I had the biggest crush on you, Casen, and to say I never thought you would reciprocate is an understatement. In a million years I wouldn’t have believed you wanted me. When they all started asking me out I didn’t understand it but I was so flattered. My best friend, Mindy, thought I was lying when I told her what they were doing. When Ian asked, you had been standing ten feet away. I thought if I said yes, he would tell you, and that maybe you’d ask me then. Step up to the plate if you liked me too. I didn’t think going out with him would hurt anything. Then all that shit happened and my world fell out from underneath me. I lost my friends. I lost my crush, and I lost my parents. I just needed to get away. When I went to college, I just couldn’t get over what had happened, so I started my plan. If I could change my looks, I could come back and make all your lives hell. I was young and dumb. I should have seen a therapist sooner. I was in a dark place. Much darker than I could have ever imagined. I know that now. I set off on this plan almost just winging it. I used what I had to mess up their lives as I went but I think with you, I always knew I wanted to go after your heart.”
She starts to sob. I hold back tears of my own. Getting up, I get her out of her chair and walk us back to the couch. This time I pull her into my lap and lay her head on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she said behind her hair. “I just want to be able to explain.”
“Just talk when you’re ready.”
I wait patiently for a minute, rubbing her back, before she starts again. “I knew I wanted to break your heart as much as you broke mine. I know now what you really went through back then but to me, you were intentionally breaking me down in high school. I wanted to make you fall for me. Make you love me and then crush you. Reveal myself and stomp on your heart and watch you bleed out. I couldn’t though because in the process I fell for you too. It came out of nowhere and in that moment, when I knew I wasn’t going to be able to let you go, I realized I’d have to tell you.”
She leans back to look me in the face. Her mascara is smeared down her red cheeks. “You have to believe me, Casen. What I did was wrong but I was going to fix it. Even before I found out Ian was looking for me, I was going to tell you. I wanted to make it right. I still want to make it right.”
I draw her into me again. “We’re doing it now, Embyr. We’re going to fix this.”
“I don’t know how to make up for what I did.” She cries.
Squeezing her tight, I kiss her forehead. “We are going to figure it out, Embyr. Together okay?”
I feel her shake her head yes and wrap her arms around my back. A flash of black on her wrist catches my attention so I grab her hand and turn it to get a better look. “What’s this?”
Sitting up, she moves her arm so I am looking at it at the right angle. “It’s a karma symbol. I got it last week.” She rubs her fingers along the tattoo. “It reminds me every day that karma is a bitch. It was something Aria, Wesley’s high school girlfriend, said to me. ‘Karma’s a bitch.’ It stuck. I wanted a constant reminder that you get back what you give. Not as in the PITCREW deserved karma but as in me needing to live my life right. Start over. Let karma be my bitch instead of the other way around. Good karma will come back just as much as bad. I choose the good now.”
I grab her wrist and kiss the black ink. “I like it.”
She smiles. The first, real, true genuine smile I have seen on her since high school. The one I fell in love with back then. “I do have one more thing I am sorry for, Embyr.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m the most sorry for never telling you how I felt back then. I wish I would have. It might have saved us from a lot of hurt, heartbreak, devastation, and lies.” Her brown eyes sparkle. “And I love that you got rid of the contacts.”
Her cheeks rise. “Me too. I’m starting to feel like the real me. I always thought they were an ugly color.”
I look deep into her irises. “No. They’re beautiful. The color is what drew me to you in the first place. Someone could truly get lost in them.”
She laughs. “I’m so not used to romantic Casen. I almost miss the dirty one.”
“Well, you’ll get him back. I just think now is the time to start over. I’m ready for that. I’m ready to forget and move on.”
She jumps up. “Me too! First, let’s start with me taking you on a date.”
I point to her. “You’re going to take me on a date?”
“Yes!”
ELEVEN
CASEN
The firehouse is quiet when I get there. The crew we’re replacing is on a call right now so I take my stuff to my room and change the sheets on my bed. It’s not long before Reece is standing there.
“Hey, man.” He greets, taking up most of the doorway. “Missed you last night at Jedi’s.”
Reece and the crew were going to meet Embyr and me there last night. I asked that they arrived an hour later than when I was planning to meet Embyr. Trinity agreed to get her there early but the rest thought that I’d still be there when they arrived. I didn’t want to share my time with Embyr and thought we really needed to have a quiet talk about everything that is going on. I still think there are things that need to be said but for now I’m content with starting over, keeping nothing from each other, and of course, when the time comes, some make up sex. I’ve been fantasizing about that for weeks now. I want to tie her up and spank her ass, but for now, I need to get answers from someone else.
“Yeah.” I turn to him, crossing my arms over my chest. “We left early.”
He mimics my stance, seeming to know that I’m on the defense. “We?”
“Embyr and me,” I answer. “I met her there early and we left to go back to her apartment and sort through things.”
He doesn’t say a word initially, almost looking paralyzed. Something is up and I’m going to find out what it is.
“She told me something interesting…something that bothered me a little bi
t.”
Captain comes over the loudspeaker instructing us to meet in the kitchen. Reece looks relieved but it won’t be for long. I plan to get some answers from him.
The entire day we have nonstop calls and in between we’re busy grocery shopping, cooking food for the crew, and hosting a field trip. Reece avoids me at any lull in the day and turns in early for the night. Thankfully we only received two overnight calls and before I know it, it’s six o’clock in the morning. Reece is having breakfast when I finally catch up to him.
I slam my hand down on the table. “Don’t avoid me.”
He turns his head slowly, his face menacing. “Back the fuck up, Casen.”
I pull out a chair and move closer to him. “Not until you tell me why the hell you cornered Embyr in her bathroom and asked her insane fucking questions.”
He scoffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get out of my face.”
“Stay away from her if you’re going to be an asshole.” I seethe. “You made her uncomfortable.”
Pushing his chair back he stands straight up. I follow suit, the two of us mere inches from each other’s faces. “What happened to bros before hos?” he asks. “Believing her over me?”
I shove a finger into his chest. “Yeah, you want to talk about putting your ‘bros’ first? How about not trying to make a bet on a girl I wanted in high school. What about that?”
He pokes me back. “What the fuck, Casen? We talked about that and got past it. Why the fuck do we have to rehash this again?”
“Because you were in her bathroom asking her things that you shouldn’t need answers to. Why do you even care who she picked?”
“PARKER,” Captain calls from outside. “Visitor.”
I turn to Reece. “We will finish this conversation later.”
The sun is shining way too bright for my eyes to adjust right away but when they do I can’t help but smile. Embyr is waiting for me, brown picnic basket in hand and oversized beach bag over her shoulder.
I close the distance between the two of us and grab the heavy basket from her hands. “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting tonight?”
She shrugs. “I’ve changed my mind. The weather is really nice and what I originally planned was indoors. I think an early morning picnic would be much better. Plus, I had a day to take off this week after working Saturday and Sunday.”
The guys are watching us, minus Reece, and I grow ever possessive. I want to block her from their view. She’s wearing a white beach cover up over a dark red bikini. I calm the urge to yell at all of them. “I’ll be done in a bit. Come inside while I finish up.”
She follows me back into the house, setting her bag down on the table next to the basket I placed there. Reece is still in the kitchen but says nothing before walking out.
“I’ll be back in a few.”
An hour later, we are setting up a blanket on the sandy shores of North Avenue Beach. She remembered it’s my favorite place to go. Once everything is settled in, she sits down alongside me and starts to pull food from the basket. She sets out grapes, cheese, crackers, and sandwiches. The same kind of picnic I made for her just a few months ago.
I go about disbursing the food as she makes us some mimosas, smirking.
“Why are you smiling?”
Her dark eyes meet mine. “Because you’re here with me. There was a time I thought you would never talk to me again.”
“I just needed some time I guess, and I’m glad it’s not too late to start over.”
She grins. “So, Casen.”
“So, Embyr.” I smile back.
“What do you do?”
I laugh. “You know what I do, Em.”
She nods. “I know but I figured if we’re going to start over, we may as well do it right. Same place as our first date but hopefully a different outcome because this time it won’t start with lies.”
I’m comforted by that statement. No more lies. I feel like I’ve been open and honest with her but she needs this and I’ll give it to her. Whatever it takes to make this work. “I work for the Chicago Fire Department. I’m actually about to test for Lieutenant.”
She smiles at me. “That’s amazing. I hope you do well.”
“Me too.” I pause. “So, what do you do, Embyr?”
After chewing a grape, she popped into her mouth she answers. “I work for the Caliber Hotel and Spa. I’m a corporate event planner – my dream job.”
“So, why were you there for a wedding?”
“I was filling in,” she tells me as she takes off her cover up. “Patty had the flu and I was the backup planner. We always have a second person know what’s going on in case something like that happens. It’s just a good thing I was there and not at the conference I thought was happening last weekend. So, I assume you and Kate are not a couple, with her pushing the two of us together last week.”
“No. We’re not. If we were I wouldn’t be here with you.”
She reaches behind her, pulling off her cover up, leaving her in just a bikini that leaves nothing to the imagination. I stare at her tits as she pulls out a can from her bag. “Can you spray some sunscreen on me?”
I take the blue spray from her and she lifts her hair up, giving me access to her back. I lean in, kissing her soft skin because I just can’t help it, and then press the nozzle down covering her back. “If I would have known we were coming to the beach, I would have brought my suit.”
She grabs the spray from me and stands up, applying the sunscreen to her chest, arms, and bending to get her legs. As she does, her tits spill over her top and I can’t stop staring while I imagine my cock sliding between them at a rapid pace. “I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. You can always go in your shorts.”
I can’t think straight when she is bent over like that, and it gets worse when she stands up to pull her hair back into a ponytail. Her body, more toned than the last time I had my tongue on it, is calling my name. I want to reach out and pull her down onto my ever growing erection. Being near her is killing me.
“Do you want some?” she asks and the question throws me off.
“Some what?”
A giggle bursts from between her lips. “Sunscreen, Casen.”
“Please,” I respond, standing to my feet and pulling my shirt off before I turn around.
When she doesn’t immediately start spraying I twist around, discovering that I’ve affected her just as much. Her eyes are on my lower back. “What are you looking at?”
She clears her throat. “Since we’re being honest with one another. I was momentarily stunned by your abs but then you turned around and I got a look at those back dimples. I swear I felt like my IQ lowered about twenty points. Those are seriously fucking sexy.”
I laugh. There are a lot of great qualities about Embyr but one of my favorites is her mouth. Not when it’s wrapped around my cock but when it’s dirty. She says dirty words, does dirty things with it. I love that she wants just as much filth in the bedroom as I do. She’s never been one to hesitate, even now that I know who she really is, to tell me all her dirty thoughts.
I step up to her. “Want to get wet?”
She’s momentarily stunned before answering, “I already am.”
“Not enough.”
I pick her up by her thighs and run toward the beach. She’s beating on my back but it doesn’t stop me from running into the refreshingly cold Lake Michigan water and throwing her into it. She comes up for air and splashes water at me. “Fuck. Why did you do that?”
I grab her hand and pull it down into the water, showing her how hard she made me. “You see, Embyr. You made my cock swell with that sexy body. Instead of showing it to the rest of the beach I thought I’d give us both a cool down before things heated up.”
We swam for a little bit before heading back and finishing our food and drinks. We talked about what happened between high school and college. She admitted to having more than enough one night stands for six people, and even th
ough I hated the thought I accepted it.
“I really want this to go somewhere, Embyr. I want us to truly start over.”
She crawls over to me, gently kissing me on my jaw. “I do too, Casen. I’ve felt so lost without you, but I’ve been working on myself. I’m all in this time. I promise.”
I turn my head to kiss her fully and pull her onto my lap. “I’m all in too, Embyr, and I’ve been lost as well. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”
She lowers herself onto my lap. “I don’t want to hurt anymore, either.” She instinctually grinds down on me.
“I want to make you feel good,” I whisper wrapping a towel around her back. “Really good.”
She smiles as she kisses me and secures the towel with her hands around my back. My thumb dips into the front of her bikini bottoms, and as it makes contact with her clit, a subtle whimper escapes her lips. “I miss you touching me.”
Twisting my hand, I delve deeper, penetrating her with my middle finger. “Well, I miss touching you.”
Thrusting my finger inside her, I kiss her, swallowing her moans. She starts to move her hips but I hold them down with my other hand. “Don’t move, Embyr. They’ll all know what we’re doing.”
“I can’t help it.” She whimpers, as my pointer finger joins the middle, and I press harder with my thumb.
“If you move, I’ll rip this towel off and let the whole beach see you come on my fingers.”
She throws her head back. It’s beautiful. I forgot how much so. “You wouldn’t.”
I bite her shoulder. “Try me.”
My grip tightens on her thighs, holding her down and keeping her from grinding herself on me. I threatened her not because I didn’t want anyone to know but because if she didn’t stop, I’d turn into some high school boy that blows my fucking load in my shorts. I wouldn’t want that. I’ve had my fair share of coming into my own hands the past few months but the next time I come it will be inside her. I crave it. So much so that if it were nighttime I may slip her bikini bottoms to the side and impale her on my cock, right here on the beach.