by J. Sterling
“Thanks, Tam. I gotta go. I’ll call you later.”
“I’ll be dying to hear what he wanted to show you. I hope it’s not his penis, because you’ve already seen that,” she called out, laughing hysterically as I ended the call.
My heart racing, I locked the door behind me and gripped my purse as I headed down the stairs.
Cal leaned against a black SUV at the curb, looking ridiculously hot. I hadn’t paid attention until now, but he was dressed as if he’d just come from the office. He’d taken it a little more casual after hours, his dark blue dress shirt unbuttoned at the collar and untucked from a pair of black slacks.
When I reached the sidewalk, he jogged over and held his jacket above my head to shield me from the rain.
“Thank you,” I said as he opened my car door for me and helped me inside.
Damn his chivalry.
“You’re welcome.” He shut my door and sprinted over to the driver’s side before hopping in. “It might take a little while to get there. I hope that’s okay.”
I studied Cal for second and realized he seemed nervous, or maybe defeated. I wasn’t sure.
“I don’t have any plans.” I tried to soften my tone, but it still came out somewhat guarded.
When he pulled out of my complex and headed toward Santa Monica, I frowned, a little unnerved that I had no idea where we were going. Trying to be patient, I stared out my window, amazed at how surreal this all seemed.
It seemed so weird to be sitting in a car with him and not have his hand on my thigh. I had almost forgotten how he used to do that, but now that I was sitting next to him, it all came crashing back how natural it always felt to be with him. How easy things between us always were.
When the silence began to drive me crazy, I said, “Can I ask you something?”
He shot me a quick glance. “You can ask me anything.”
“How are you here in the middle of the week? You didn’t get fired, did you?”
He choked on a laugh. “Fired? No. Why would you think that?”
“To be honest, I’m surprised to see you at all, but I’m even more surprised to see you during the work week. I didn’t peg you for the type of guy who took days off to apologize to women.”
He grinned. “I’m not.”
“So you’re not going to tell me?”
My annoyance faded for a second as I stared at Cal’s profile. It was sexy. Those stupid lips were still as full and gorgeous as ever. I missed looking at his face, and I hated how much I missed those lips.
He shook his head, and it looked like he was holding back a smile. “Not yet.”
“Fine.”
“Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad, I’m just—”
“Pouting,” he said, speaking for me.
I wanted to stay mad, but I let out a laugh instead. “Yes. I’m pouting.”
He reached across the center console and grabbed my hand, squeezing it before he brought it to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to my fingers.
“I do love you, Jules. I know I should stop saying it, but I need you to know I’m serious.”
Biting my lip, I pulled my hand away and placed it back in my lap. I wanted so badly to tell him I loved him too, but I couldn’t. Not until I knew what he wanted to show me. Not until I knew what the hell was going on.
“I’m starting to believe you,” I said. When he grinned at that, I added, “A little.”
His grin only widened. “I’ll take it.”
A while later, he navigated away from the coast and through the winding roads toward Hollywood. I had a feeling he was heading toward Sunset Boulevard, but I still had no idea why.
Was he taking me to a club? Had he set something up with Ron? When we reached Sunset and he made a right, I was still no closer to an answer about where we were headed.
Finally, we pulled into an underground parking lot of one of the most well-known buildings on Sunset. I’d been in this building before, but it had been a long time. It was primarily an office building, filled with everything from entertainment agencies to real estate brokers.
“What are we doing here?” I asked as he parked the car and turned off the ignition.
Cal opened his door and hopped out. “Come on.”
He extended his hand to me and helped me from the car, but he didn’t let go, twining his fingers with mine. Instead of pulling from his grasp, I gripped his hand tighter.
When he swiped a keycard and the door to the building buzzed open, I was confused.
“How do you—?”
Cal stopped walking and turned to face me. “No questions. Just give me two minutes.”
“You’re so bossy.”
He led me toward a bank of elevators and pressed the call button. When the doors opened and we stepped inside, a flush rushed up my face at the memory of how his body pressed against mine each time we’d taken the elevator in the hotel in Boston.
Wondering if he was thinking the same thing, I slid a sideways glance at his pants and hid my smile. Yep, he was having flashbacks of his own.
The elevator dinged on the seventh floor and we stepped out, Cal leading the way as if he’d been here a hundred times before. He stopped us in front of a door marked 732 and pulled a key from his pocket. Logically, I knew what this meant, but my brain refused to put the puzzle pieces together. It just didn’t make sense.
When we stepped inside the fully furnished one-man office, he waved a hand at the floor-to-ceiling windows that faced Sunset. “Well, what do you think?”
“I don’t understand.”
“I think you do.” He took a step toward me, and I swallowed hard.
“Is this your office?”
He smiled. “That’s my girl. Yes.”
Overwhelmed, I shook my head, refusing to guess at what all this might mean. If I guessed, I might hope, and if I hoped wrong . . .
My knees were a little wobbly, so I plopped into the leather chair behind the lone desk. Taking a deep breath, I look Cal square in the eye.
“Start talking.”
His eyes dancing with mischief, he said, “I talked my bosses into letting me open a branch of the firm out here. It’s part-time for now, so I’ll be flying back and forth between the coasts for a while. But eventually, my plan is to run this place full time.”
When my jaw fell open, I snapped it shut, completely shocked and surprised by this turn of events. “Is this a joke? Are you kidding? Because if you’re kidding, it’s not funny.”
Cal smiled and sat on the edge of the desk. “I’m not kidding. If my bosses had said no, I would have opened my own investment firm here anyway. You were right about how much California’s small business laws suck, and how brutal they are. I wasn’t ready to take that on by myself, so I’m glad they said yes.”
I nodded, completely understanding where he was coming from. I’d done my own research before making the decision to stay on at my current agency. Going out on my own seemed more hassle than it was worth.
“So you’re going to live out here?”
“Part time, yes.”
“But how is this happening?” I asked, needing every single detail. “Why did your bosses agree to this?”
“My client list here in LA has exploded.”
“Seriously?”
“I think Tabbie and Ron have introduced me to everyone they’ve ever known.”
I laughed as I thought about my old friend Ron. Of course he would have done that for Cal—and for me. I hadn’t caught up with Ron in weeks, and before yesterday, I hadn’t talked to Cal either.
“That’s great. I’m really happy for you.”
“It’s all because of you.”
I shook my head. “No. All I did was introduce you to a couple of people. If you weren’t good at your job, none of this would be happening.”
“Just take the compliment.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Fine. But you take it too.”
“Fine. It was both of us. Thanks, teamma
te.”
My cheeks prickled with heat. I remembered feeling that way when things were going well between us. How Cal had been the only guy I’d ever felt that way about.
“Where are you going to live?”
“I’m not sure yet. Know any good real estate agents?”
“No.”
He laughed, but I was serious. Kind of. Okay, not really at all.
“You don’t? That’s a shame.”
“I can’t believe you’re going to be here.”
He pushed up from the desk and stepped close to me. Too close, but I couldn’t push him away any longer. I didn’t want to fight it anymore.
“I wanted to be closer to you,” he said softly, “and I figured out a way I could.”
“We weren’t even talking. How in the world could you make all these plans—”
“I planned on fixing that,” he said quickly.
“What if I didn’t let you?”
He stepped closer, his lips inches from mine. “That really wasn’t an option. But I would have waited for you to forgive me, however long it took. I didn’t plan on giving up so easily. I knew I loved you. The second I realized that, it was all over for me. I had to make things right between us. I love you, Jules. I love you so damn much.”
I didn’t just look into his hazel eyes as he spoke, I dove into them, drowning in that dreamy sea without a floatation device. I didn’t want to be saved.
Leaning toward him, I said softly, “I love you too.”
His chest rose quickly before his mouth covered mine. It was all he needed. Hell, it was everything we both needed. Forgiveness, acceptance, and a willingness to move past this, all wrapped up in four beautiful words that spilled from my lips like a promise. Words I meant with my entire heart, that fickle organ I no longer hated.
And as we kissed and broke in Cal’s new desk, I knew things would be okay. The sense of impending dread that had weighed me down when I first met him flitted away. Now I was filled with something else entirely.
Hope. And I knew we were going to make it.
Epilogue
Jules
Cal commuted between Boston and LA for the next eleven months. It had to have been hard on him, but he never once complained. He even found an afterschool program here where he could volunteer, which I knew he truly loved.
His bosses were extremely supportive when it came to letting him move out here full time. They knew it made sense to expand their offices to the West Coast, and the fact that Cal brought in a boatload of money made their decision easy. And when his celebrity client roster doubled soon after he opened the office, how could they complain?
By the time Cal moved out here to run things full time, he brought Lucas with him. There were too many clients for him to handle alone, and after Lucas’s first trip to visit us, he’d become relentless in his pursuit to move here, badgering Cal every chance he got.
The only problem was that while Cal had quickly become comfortable with dealing with celebrities, Lucas was still a bit starstruck and practically creamed his pants whenever a hot actor came in for a meeting. I kept telling Cal that Lucas would eventually work through his wide-eyed phase, but honestly I wasn’t so sure. Sometimes being around celebrities was too much for certain people. I guess we’d see, though, because Lucas was here now, taking over Cal’s lease and moving into his apartment.
When Cal told me he needed a place to live here, I urged him to sign a year’s lease on a furnished apartment in West Hollywood, wanting to be smart about our relationship. As happy as I’d been that he had come back to me, I wasn’t ready for us to move in together. In my opinion, it was way too soon for that. We still needed to get to know each other better.
To my surprise, he hadn’t even argued. Instead, he tricked me, staying at my house night after night and slowly moving some of his things in the same way Tami had. Before I realized it, he had nearly a whole rack of work clothes hanging in the guest room closet next to Tami’s dresses. And the guest bath’s shelves that had once been filled with only Tami’s products now held just as many of Cal’s.
About a month after Cal and I got back together, the three of us were sharing a pizza one night and Tami had glared at him.
“Don’t even think about asking me to move my things out of this room, mister,” she’d said with some heat, and he laughed.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I love sharing a closet with you.”
“This is still my room. Tell him, Jules, that it’s still my room!” she’d shouted at me.
“It’s still your room, Tami.” I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t like Cal would be sleeping in there anyway. Unless he was in trouble, of course.
I still kept in touch with Robin, who wanted to fly out and “kiss me on the mouth” when I told her that Cal was moving here. “Best thing you’ve ever done, and I mean that in every way possible,” she’d written me in an e-mail. She threatened to come visit all the time, but said that now that Cal was here, she had a real reason. Robin, Tami, and Lucas all in one place might be the death of me. Or the life of me. It was a toss-up.
A month before Cal’s lease was up, he convinced me to let him officially move in. To be honest, it didn’t take much convincing on his part. I had been dying for us to move in together for months. I’d wanted to play it safe and take things slow at first, but I soon realized that when you were with the right person, slow didn’t make anything better. And it definitely didn’t always make the most sense.
So today was moving day, the day we moved the rest of Cal’s things to my apartment. Admittedly, it didn’t take long. He’d already stuffed so much of his belongings into the guest room closet, he didn’t have much left at his own apartment.
“Where’s my room?” Lucas said as he dropped one of Cal’s boxes at my feet. “Tami and Cal have a room. Why don’t I have one?”
I shrugged. “I guess you and Tami have to share.”
“I heard that!” Tami shouted from the bedroom.
“You know you want a piece of this, sweet cheeks,” Lucas yelled back, and I cracked up.
Lucas and Tami had hit it off immediately when they first met, both trolling for guys without a second thought. I overheard Tami threaten Luc once, though. Something about them not fishing in the same pond for guys or she’d stab him in his sleep. Lucas had only laughed and told her that if they both wanted the same guy, then she was in the wrong pond, not him. To my surprise, she’d agreed, and then when he complimented her on her forest-green eyes, I’d wanted to punch him in the throat.
“Why is everyone always yelling?” Cal asked as he came into the living room. Not breaking his stride, he walked straight over to me and planted a kiss on my lips.
There’s no way I’d ever grow tired of kissing those beauties. They were still just as appealing and dreamy as ever.
Lucas groaned and made a puking face. “Stop being like your brother.”
“Never.” Cal gave Lucas a smug grin.
“When’s their wedding anyway?” Lucas asked, as if he didn’t already know the answer. He’d been begging for an invitation to the event since he learned they finally chose a date in February.
“You know when,” Cal said, pretending to be annoyed at Lucas before he leaned over to whisper in my ear. “I totally get it now, why Cooper and Katherine were always so annoyingly sweet. It’s because they felt like this about each other.”
I couldn’t agree more. I’d never thought I’d ever be half of a sickeningly sweet couple, but apparently I was.
Three years ago, I would have never pictured my life this way. If you’d have told me that I’d meet someone like Cal and would have a successful relationship and a successful career, I would have said you were either dreaming or insane. So convinced I couldn’t have both, I’d tried to write one of them off completely.
And as I glanced around our apartment at the people I loved, I’d never been happier to have been so wrong.
The End
Thank you so much for reading! I ho
pe you enjoyed Cal and Jules’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Keep reading for Cooper Donovan and Katherine’s story, In Dreams.
Acknowledgments
This book was a labor of love. Literally. It hurt me to write it, to share it, to live through Jules’s journey with her. Each chapter felt like pulling teeth to get the words out of my guts and onto the computer screen.
It was hard.
The most difficult story I’ve written to date- if for no reason other than…. life is sometimes really challenging and really, really, hurts.
I hope that you felt something while you read it. I hope it resonated in some deep part of you and helped you feel less alone. You’re never alone. To hurt is human. To love is human. To want to heal is also human.
Thank you to my incredible cover designer, Michelle Warren, who continues to blow my mind, cover after cover. She creates so much beauty from a simple image that I find myself constantly impressed by her raw talent. Thank you again for not only being the best in the business, but for being a true friend.
To my editor, Pam Berehulke, who takes my emotional word vomit and makes it decipherable. You would think that I’d be better at this by now, but clearly I’m not. LOL Thanks for always trying to get me to tone down the F-words; one of these days it might stick, but don’t hold your breath.
Thank you to the girls who helped me work through this experience (yes, this book was an experience), read an early draft of the story, called to see how I was doing, sent me text messages, checked in on me, or basically made my day by being a part of it: Tray, Becky, CatJacks, Krista Arnold, Brittainy McCane, Jessica McBee, Brina, Jillian Dodd, Tara Sivec, Tarryn Fisher, Claire Contreras, Kyla Linde, Colleen Hoover, and Corinne Michaels.
Thank you to all of the girls in my Perfect Game Changer group for your general awesomeness. I’m always awed by how good you all are to one another—supportive, helpful, encouraging, and most of all, loving. I am so thankful and proud to be a part of you.