by Lee, Nadia
“Yes, Og,” she muttered. “What are you doing back so early? I thought you weren’t coming until dinner.”
“I thought we’d spend some time together before going out. What was he doing here?”
Natalie didn’t want to talk about her conversations with Emily or Charlie with anyone, most especially Alex. In his current mood, he would probably go after Charlie if she told him everything. She didn’t want to think about the consequences.
“He was in the neighborhood.”
“Obviously. My question is why.”
“It’s not important.”
“Isn’t it?” He shook his head, his eyes hard. “I don’t want you seeing the Rodales anymore.”
* * *
“What?” Natalie jackknifed into a sitting position, then immediately put a hand to her temple and moaned. “Of all the foolish, arrogant…” Her lips tightened. “In case you don’t know, Emily’s my godmother, and Charlie’s a good friend of mine.”
“Funny way of showing his friendship.”
“That was a mistake.”
Her stubborn defense of Charlie Rodale was irritating enough, but Alex went cold as Ethan’s words came back to him: If I’m wrong, I’ll resign.
Damn it. He couldn’t dwell on what Ethan said. Ethan had to be wrong.
“Mistake or not, I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”
“Alex. We may have slept together, but that doesn’t give you property rights. You don’t get to tell me who I can or can’t see.”
Why was she making it more difficult than it had to be? If she stopped seeing the Rodales, Ethan would back off, and everything would be fine.
“Just do it,” he said, his voice sharper than he intended. “Besides, it’s a conflict of interest for you to see them. Rodale International is DDE’s rival.”
Her jaw dropped. “Don’t be ridiculous. I had friends in other investment banks when I worked for Goldreich.”
He hated this. He couldn’t tell her the real reason and felt like a fraud. “Okay. Then just do it for me. Please.”
“Alex,” she said softly. “No. You either trust me or you don’t, but you don’t own me.”
Wasn’t that the truth. He didn’t own her. And seeing her with Rodale…and how she’d defended him even though the bastard had manhandled her…
Alex’s hands tightened. He should’ve ripped Rodale into pieces.
Was Ethan right? Was he repeating the same mistake his father had made decades ago?
Alex felt like a vise was closing on him. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if Natalie turned out to be like Emily. God, he couldn’t bear to look at her right now, not when he was wondering if Charlie and Natalie were more than the friends she claimed they were and whether she was working for Emily.
He had to leave before he did something stupid, like telling her how crazy he was about her and that he would forgive her for anything as long as she confided in him. His weakness and obsession with her was making him sick to his stomach. It made him feel stupid to think he might be making exactly the same mistake as his father. And he didn’t like feeling stupid. Not at all.
Chapter Fifteen
Natalie walked to the small conference room listed on Ethan’s meeting invitation. The bright morning sun streamed through the frosted glass and lit the hallway. Alex had left wordlessly after her refusal to cut the Rodales out of her life, and she hadn’t seen him for almost a week. She frowned in exasperation and annoyance. She didn’t know what to make of his mood. Was he avoiding her? She understood he’d been upset about her getting hit, but Charlie hadn’t done it on purpose. To demand that she not see the Rodales over something so relatively trivial was unreasonable. Surely, Alex would have realized that by now.
His attempt to dictate who she could see brought back unwelcome memories of Marcus, who’d always tried to control her social life to make sure she was surrounded by people he approved of. He was ambitious, with political aspirations of his own, and that had been the reason for everything he’d done. She could understand the impulse, even if it seemed somewhat silly. But what was Alex’s reason? That line about a conflict of interest between DDE and Rodale International didn’t ring true. And Natalie was starting to get the feeling that Alex had known about her connection to the Rodales before they’d met in person.
Well, whatever the reason, she wasn’t going to repeat her mistakes. What had her spineless compliance with Marcus’s demands gotten her? Not a single real friend, just casual acquaintances from “the right families.”
Charlie had been the only one in her original social circle to pass Marcus’s litmus test: the right pedigree. Charles Montgomery Rodale the Third. And hadn’t he always been a good friend to her? Maybe that was why she had been so shocked and angry by his request on Saturday.
Sighing, she brushed her hair back from her face as she walked. As she did so, her thumb skimmed over her right temple, which still hurt a little.
She got to the conference room and paused when she saw Alex in it. Ethan hadn’t said anything about Alex coming to the meeting.
He made her breath catch in her throat, sitting there like a god who owned the world, but his unreadable expression almost made her falter. “Good morning,” she said, flashing an uncertain smile.
“Good morning.” His voice was pleasant, but his face was barren. “Please have a seat.”
Natalie swallowed and took a chair across from him. She noticed with surprise that her hands were trembling and placed them on her lap. “So how are—”
Ethan’s entrance interrupted her, and their meeting began. She could barely concentrate. This was one of the few rooms that had real walls instead of frosted glass, and she began to feel suffocated as the minutes ticked by. There was some kind of odd tension—and understanding?—between the two men, and she felt left out. It didn’t help that Alex was abrupt and Ethan bored. Maybe they had argued. Or maybe Alex was taking his frustration with her out on everyone.
Finally the meeting ended, and Ethan walked out, leaving Natalie alone with Alex. When Alex rose from his seat, Natalie said, “Wait!”
“Yes?”
“We need to talk.”
He remained standing. “Do we?”
“I know you’re upset about what happened on Saturday, but Charlie didn’t mean to hurt me, and I’m fine.”
That wasn’t one hundred percent true. It still required a little makeup to hide the bruise, but Alex didn’t need to know that.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“So…are we all right?”
He raised an eyebrow. “All right?”
She nodded. There was something awful in his eyes, but she couldn’t tell what it was.
The silence stretched. Two heartbeats turned to three…then four…
“Is that all you had to say?” Alex’s voice held no inflection. He glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry, but I have another meeting. Excuse me.”
* * *
So…are we all right?
No, Alex thought savagely. He wasn’t all right. Not since Saturday. Not since Ethan had reported her meeting with Emily and Natalie had refused to stop seeing the Rodales.
He’d told himself he wasn’t like his father, that he was too smart, too careful, to be conned by a beautiful woman. But when Natalie walked in, his mind just…stopped, and all that existed was a feeling of how much he wanted her, and a wish that she wasn’t who she was.
He paused in the hallway and gazed sightlessly through the hazy glass panes. His father had told him something once, on his way down. It had been as much an apology for the failure that ruined him as passing advice from one generation to the next. The truly important decisions are made somewhere beyond logic and reason.
Alex, whose favorite game was chess, hadn’t believed it when he was younger. But now… Thinking things through didn’t seem to help. It was as if there was a huge elastic band around his chest, and the other end was attached to Natalie. The farther he got from her, the greater the pr
essure, and the more difficult it was to breathe.
The more it hurt.
The truly important decisions…
His legs carried him back to the conference room of their own volition. Natalie was just gathering her documents. Her eyes widened when she saw him, but he didn’t give a damn as he kicked the door shut. A primal instinct to mark her as his overwhelmed him, stripping away all restraint. He grabbed her and covered her mouth with his before she could protest. He didn’t want to talk. He wanted her unconditional surrender.
Total acceptance.
She tensed, her lips refusing to part and let him in. That only made him more determined. She finally yielded, shuddering as his hands caressed every inch of her body, bringing out the sensuality buried deep inside her core. He tunneled into her chignon with his fingers until her hair came loose and swept around her head. He pushed her skirt up and almost lost control when he saw the racy garter belt holding her thigh-highs. He ripped her panties off and went down on her, drinking in the heady scent of her desire.
He couldn’t get enough of her. Her every moan, the slightest twitch of her muscles as she inched closer to climax, whipped his desire to the brink of madness. When she came against his mouth, he didn’t stop. He wanted her to remember this. Remember she was his.
When he could no longer wait, he entered her slick depths. Her breath hissed, and her back arched. She held on to him as if she couldn’t bear to let him go. If she screamed, the entire would office would hear her. And he didn’t care.
He pounded into her, drove her to another climax and exulted in the expression of tortured ecstasy on her face. As he emptied into her, the only thing his brain could register was how much he still wanted her.
As they lay recovering on the beige carpet, it suddenly hit him.
You love her.
He inhaled sharply. Where had that come from?
No matter how much he wanted to deny that he loved her, he couldn’t. Not when her seminude body still lay next to him, her eyes glazed with the aftermath of passion. A woman who planned to betray him simply could not have responded to him like that. He didn’t care what Ethan said or had seen. Natalie couldn’t be the traitor.
Alex gathered her in his arms. She felt weightless, as light as balsa wood. She burrowed into his chest.
He kissed her head and ran his thumb over her smooth cheek. “We’re all right,” he said.
She let out a soft sigh and melted against him. “I’m glad.”
* * *
Natalie had a secret smile all day. She had no idea what had prompted such sudden passion from Alex, but she didn’t care. His ardor, plus the added spice of knowing they could have been caught in the act, had been almost too much to bear. She’d had to wait a full twenty minutes after he left before she felt composed enough to exit the conference room.
It felt odd walking around the office without any panties on, though. She didn’t do commando, and every time she sat, it made her feel self-conscious.
She uploaded the NSA bid information to the server storage space registered under her name. Ethan was the only other person who could access it.
Danielle came into Natalie’s office and placed a manila folder bursting with documents next to her laptop. “Here’s the contract you asked for.”
“Thanks.” Natalie frowned. Danielle looked pale and withdrawn. “Are you okay?”
“Well…I have cramps, and I’m out of Advil.” She placed a hand over her stomach. “Maybe I’ll go pick up a bottle.”
Natalie rose from her seat. “I’ve got some in my purse.” She dug through her bag and handed Danielle a couple of pills. “Is that enough?”
“Yeah, thanks. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t normally have cramps this bad.”
“If you don’t feel better after about an hour or so, why don’t you head home early?”
“Well…maybe that’s… Well, I have a lot of work to do.”
“It’s okay. Really.”
She nodded. “Thanks, Natalie.”
“By the way, love your new hair. It looks really good on you,” Natalie said. The cut was stylish and framed Danielle’s face delicately. It came very close to making her look cute.
“Oh. Thank you. The stylist said I really should cut it differently, and I wasn’t sure. It looks a little…I don’t know. Kind of dramatic?”
“No, it looks really good. Like a whole new you.”
“Really? Thanks.” Danielle smiled and walked out gingerly.
Natalie played with the painkiller bottle lid, watching her assistant leave. Suddenly, she stopped. Although she was pretty sure she wasn’t pregnant, she hadn’t shown any symptoms of PMS. But then, her periods had always been irregular. It was about time she got the early pregnancy test kit she’d seen in one of magazine ads. It could supposedly tell you six days before a missed period, and she wanted to make sure there hadn’t been any unintended consequences to Alex’s condom breaking back at the cabin. Not to mention what had happened that morning.
Natalie shook her head, amazed at her own behavior. Louise had drilled into both her and Belle that—whatever else happened in their private lives—getting pregnant was simply Not An Option before marriage. This morning had been the first time she had ever given in to the heat of the moment. She knew it said a lot about what she was feeling for Alex, but the depth of the change in her was still a little shocking.
At five o’clock sharp, she left the office. Danielle’s cubicle was empty, but most of the other staff was still working. Natalie drove to the closest drugstore, a CVS in the Tysons I shopping center. Thankfully, the mall wasn’t too crowded. She just wanted to get in and out.
She grabbed a pregnancy test kit and was walking toward the register when she saw Emily. Of all the luck. The older woman’s eyes dropped to the box Natalie held, and an eyebrow went up.
“Emily, I really don’t have time to talk.” She brushed past her godmother, wishing that she’d gone to a different drugstore.
Emily followed her to the cashier, hovering as Natalie paid. Finally, she sighed. “I can’t let you make the same mistake I made. Come on. Let’s talk.”
Oh no. They weren’t going to discuss betraying Alex again. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
“Yes, we do. I promise you’ll never view Alex Damon the same way again.”
Looking at the determination on Emily’s face, Natalie knew she had no choice. She wasn’t going to be able to get rid of her godmother without listening to whatever she had to say.
Chapter Sixteen
Natalie and Emily sat inside Natalie’s car in silence. Emily smelled of a nervous tension not even Chanel No. 5 and the right pedigree could disguise. Natalie stared straight ahead at the concrete wall less than a foot from the front bumper of her Audi.
“You’re not going to make it easy for me, are you?” Emily said finally.
“Emily, you asked me to compromise my principles for you on Saturday. You attempted to blackmail and bribe me. I don’t know how I can make this easy for you.”
The older woman let out a short laugh. “Fair enough.” She leaned back and stared out at the thick columns supporting the parking garage ceiling. “I don’t want—” She sighed. “I can’t lose Rodale International.”
Natalie glanced at her godmother. “If this is for Charlie—”
“Oh, it would be nice to say that it’s for him. That would at least give a veneer of motherly concern and altruism to the whole sordid business. But no. It’s for me.”
Natalie was seeing a whole new side of her godmother. Rodale International had provided Emily with a lifestyle most people would envy, but to go this far…
“James owes me this much.”
Natalie was momentarily at a loss. “James?”
“James Damon. Alex’s father. I was his secretary way back when I decided to rebel against my family. He said he was in love with me, you know.”
Emily and…Alex’s father?
The older woman’s eyes were focused on something far away. “I believed him. He could be very persuasive when the mood struck him.” She turned to Natalie. “Did you know he was married when we met?”
Natalie shook her head.
“He told me he didn’t love his wife. Said he was going to divorce her. I believed that too. I was such a naïve fool back then.” The corners of her lips twisted down, giving Emily’s face cruel lines. “In the end, he didn’t leave his wife, of course. Even though I was pregnant with his child, she too was expecting. I hated him for it. I could’ve killed him. I was not going to be any man’s mistress.” Her eyes flickered. “That’s when I met Charles. I didn’t love him, but he had the right drive, a hunger to succeed. I did everything in my power to ruin James, to take from him what he’d promised me.” She laughed, but the sound held no humor. “I destroyed his family, you know. His wife couldn’t bear it that he lost everything. I knew she never really loved him. She never loved him, and he chose her. I was glad when he finally broke. He had it coming.” She paused. “I drank champagne the day she divorced him.”
Natalie felt sick. “What happened to the child? The one you had with James Damon? Did you… Did you give it up for adoption?”
“No.” Emily’s lips turned flat. “The child has always lived with me. As a matter of fact, he now heads Rodale International.”
“Oh my god.”
“So now you know.” The intensity of Emily’s gaze belied her years. “Do you still think we should lose our company to Alex? Charlie doesn’t know what he’s dealing with. I have to help him.”
“You’re denying Charlie his half-brother.”
“Don’t call him that! If I could, I would ruin him too. He’s her son.”
Emily’s eyes were hard as diamonds, her mouth as thin as the edge of a razor. Natalie felt like vomiting. This venom…this old, festered wound wasn’t something she’d ever suspected Emily carried under her benevolent, society-matron exterior. Now Natalie understood why Alex hadn’t wanted her to see the Rodales again. But did he know that Charlie was his half-brother?