Bachelor Mom
Page 6
She headed for her bedroom, intending to kick off her shoes and strip down. Instead, the light glinting off the bureau mirror snagged her attention.
The cameo at her throat glowed in that soft light. As she reached up to unlatch the pendant, her fingers hesitated midair. She’d worn the cameo as a talisman for luck. Right now, heaven knew, she felt as lucky as the survivor of a train wreck.
Still, she hesitated, suddenly remembering her thirtieth birthday and her first reaction when she saw the cameo. The profile of the woman in shadow had reached her right where it hurt. The symbol had been so strong, of how long she’d lived in Ron’s shadow, and her birthday had been the crossroads when she’d come to face it.
Funny.
But the way her heart ached, it seemed like now, tonight, this moment, was the real crossroads. For weeks now, months, she’d really known it wasn’t Ron—or any other man—who’d chased her into the shadows. It was her. Allowing her insecurities to rule her life.
No one ever stopped her from standing up for what she wanted.
No one ever stopped her from shouting what she needed.
The woman staring back at her in the mirror certainly had no resemblance to that stunning brunette she’d found in Spence’s arms. But it wasn’t the old Gwen in that mirror, either. There was pride in the tilt to her jaw, strength in that brow, depth in those dark brown eyes. Her aching heart changed beats, slowly, like an engine revving slowly on a winter day, building up momentum, building up speed to a full-blown rocket charge.
She’d never loved Ron this way. Never felt reckless and special and gutsily good about herself on the inside with any other man but Spence. Always she’d doubted that he could possibly feel the same. Always she’d been afraid of misjudging what their relationship meant to Spence.
But she knew damn well what he meant to her.
Spence was alone, on the kitchen phone, when she stormed in. No knock. She just sort of burst through that screen door the instant she spotted him, her hair wind tossed, her eyes full of lightning...and in bare feet, he noticed.
Later he reaized that he’d hung up on a client midsentence. Not fast enough, apparently, because a coral-tipped fingernail was abruptly wagging in his face.
“I’m not in competition with anyone else. Not gorgeous brunettes, not blondes. Not anyone, McKenna, so you’d better get that through your head right now.”
As a conversational opener, it lacked something in the way of a relaxed “Hello, how are you.” But then Spence was braced for a tornado the instant he saw those flashing dark eyes. Very carefully, very gently, he said, “I couldn’t agree more. It’d be a total waste of time for anyone to bother competing with you.”
He’d tried that same calm, soothing tone with her that afternoon. It hadn’t worked then or now. She wasn’t listening. She was too busy pacing and wagging that finger. “There is no possible way to pursue an affair with three small children around, for Pete’s sake.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“Dammit, Spence. It’s time to fish or cut bait.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“I want you to listen and hear me out.”
“okay.”
“You already know me. The bad and the good. I’m a mom, a homebody, a chronic cookie maker. A woman struggling not to be such a stupid softie all the time—but I’m a long way from the doormat I used to be. And I happen to love you, McKenna. With all my heart. For the record, it’s a tough, strong woman’s heart, so this isn’t mouse bait I’m offering you—”
“Tiger—”
“No, don’t you tiger me. I need to finish saying this. She isn’t for you, buster—”
He wasn’t positive that she intended to let him get a word in, but shouting was a new experience for Gwen. Temporarily she ran out of breath, and he took his chance. “If for any reason you’re referring to June...she’s May’s sister, Gwen. April’s aunt. It seems that she and her husband just moved. She used to live on the East Coast, and she came to see me to ask if it was all right if she took an active part in April’s life. She got emotional, started crying. That’s why I put my arms around her. That’s the only reason. She was upset.”
That stopped Gwen dead in her tracks. “April’s aunt?” she echoed.
“Yes. She was estranged from May for years. They barely talked. But she felt bad that she’d neglected to build any kind of relationship with her only niece.” He added carefully, “And I know you—if you’d have been here, you’d have hugged her exactly the same way.”
“Well, yeah, I probably would have.” She shifted on her feet. “You never had to explain about her,” she informed him.
“No?”
“No. Just because I had a jealousy attack the size of Kansas doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you, McKenna”.
“You do. Trust me,” he repeated.
“For heaven’s sake, you’re adorable,” she said impatiently. “Unless the entire female population suddenly turns blind and doddering, women are obviously going to throw themselves at you from time to time. I’m not saying I’m thrilled at the idea, but I’d hardly be stupid enough to get involved—much less fall in love—with a man I didn’t trust. Completely. And another thing—”
“Hell, tiger, I can hardly wait to hear ‘another thing.’” The poker of tension rammed up his spine was slowly, slowly relaxing. He hadn’t been sure if it was okay to breathe since she walked in the room. He’d never seen her so wired for sound before.
Or so scared. She stopped her frenetic pacing for a second and met his gaze. A dread of rejection was as clear and naked as pain in her soft brown eyes. Yet she still laid more vulnerable honesty on the line. “I would never try to hold you with a noose around your neck, Spence. Maybe I’m talking about rings, but I’m not talking about one through your nose. For a long time, I thought Ron’s controlling possessiveness meant he loved me. That’s not love, McKenna. At least not the kind of love I feel for you... or want with you.”
He took a step forward. Then another. Her hands had been fidgeting almost nonstop, pointing a finger, or propped on her hips or wrapping around her arms to hug herself. Now, while she was suddenly standing totally still, he could see all the defensive actions for what they were. Her fingers were trembling. And cold. Ice cold, at least until he captured them in his own.
Her face tilted up to his. All those guts she didn’t think she had blazed in the fire in her eyes. “I’m good for you, coach,” she whispered.
“Believe me, I know you are.”
“It was hard for me to see that I had something to offer you. Something...equal. But maybe if I’d never been such a dependent mouse type, I’d never have understood what real freedom was. I stumbled on every rock in that road, and I know what I want now. A life partner. Someone I love and trust. Someone who isn’t threatened by my growing in my own directions. I’ve always felt free with you, McKenna. It just took me a while to realize that the freedom to feel, to be myself, to grow, was what two lovers could bring each other. And that’s exactly the kind of love I would give you back.”
“I was scared you’d never see it. Afraid you’d never feel it.” The need to hold her wouldn’t wait. Even another second. He gathered her up, swung her arms around his neck and sealed her mouth with a kiss. He had never been sure it would happen. Her shouting at him. Her shouting for them. A hundred emotions spilled into that kiss: hunger and joy, pride in the woman he had been so lucky to find and even luckier to love, all the promises for the future he could suddenly taste. “I love you, Gwen.”
“And I love you right back.” There still seemed to be a smoking storm in her eyes, but fear definitely wasn’t fueling it. He caught the hint of a dangerous smile—a wicked, reckless woman’s smile. And not that he was paying all that much attention to geography, but she seemed to have taken his hand and was leading him right to the master bedroom. “Honestly, McKenna. I’m supposed to be the wimp half in this pair. And you left it up to me to do the proposing?”
�
��Not by choice. It damned near killed me not to ask you months ago.” Hell, she made him kiss her again. “You were never a wimp, Gwen, but I didn’t know how to make you believe it. I was afraid to tell you what I felt, afraid you’d feel pressured, that you’d think I was a steamroller type like your ex. I never wanted to push you into corners, tiger. I just wanted to make things possible for you.”
“I’ll show you exactly what you made possible,” she warned him. There were shadows in his bedroom, but then she switched on the light. All the shadows disappeared.
His lover was definitely in the mood. She was beyond beautiful, although Spence suspected it could well take a lifetime to really show her all the beauty he saw, all the strength and fire in her impossibly generous heart. It was the kind of work a man dreamed of. And she was the only woman he ever wanted to share that dream.
Hours later she pulled the covers up on the bed and snuggled next to him. “Spence?”
“Hmm?”
“You are a steamroller. You pushed me right off an emotional cliff. Mercilessly. Ruthlessly. Thanks.”
“Umm, Gwen?”
“Hmm?”
“You steamrollered me right back. Pushed me right off that same emotional cliff. Scared me out of my mind. Thanks.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” she murmured. And Gwen, being the pure female dynamo she was, proceeded to take charge and show him.
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ISBN : 978-1-4592-7134-0
BACHELOR MOM
Copyright © 1997 by Jennifer Greene
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