The window fogged over. He released Alyssa’s wrist and rubbed his fingers over the pane.
Cole waved at Alyssa. Their gazes met and relief filled her eyes for a moment before terror reclaimed them. His heart constricted, but he forced himself to stay calm and send her signals that said on the count of three to run toward him.
He inched closer, dropping one finger at a time, his focus on Saunders, who hadn’t moved. When Cole let the last finger fall, he was close enough for Alyssa to move behind him. They eased back. One step at a time. Silently.
“Something’s wrong,” Saunders said and suddenly spun. “What the—”
Knowing his plan to move Alyssa out of the room before anyone got hurt was lost, Cole centered Alyssa behind him. She clung to the sides of his Kevlar vest. Saunders reacted in a flash, sighting his weapon and getting off a shot. The bullet sliced through Cole’s arm. His instincts kicked in and he didn’t hesitate but fired off two rounds center mass as he’d been taught in his marshal’s training.
Saunders went down.
“Get out of here, Alyssa,” Cole called out and rushed to Saunders. Cole couldn’t risk looking back to see if she listened, but he didn’t hear movement.
He kicked Saunders’s weapon away from his body. Cole knelt by Saunders and felt for a pulse. Found none. Resigned, he sat back and checked his arm. Just a flesh wound, barely even bleeding. He spotted Alyssa standing mouth open, eyes glassy and exhibiting signs of shock.
As regret ate at him for not finding another way out of this without ending a life, Cole went to her. Her whole body trembled, and he drew her into his arms, but she pushed free.
“Brianna and Riley,” she said, turning away.
“We already took care of them. They’re with Dani and are probably at the beach house by now.”
Gun outstretched, Derrick came into the room, his gaze going to Saunders’s lifeless body then to Cole. Cole shook his head to let Derrick know Saunders didn’t make it.
“You call this in?” Derrick asked.
Cole shook his head. “We need to get Carter over here before making an official call to the local authorities.”
Alyssa started crying, and Cole took her into his arms again, pressing her head to his chest. He inhaled her soft flowery scent and lifted his head.
Thank You, Father. For being here. For hearing my prayers. Thank You, thank You, thank You for protecting Alyssa and the twins.
* * *
Even with Cole’s arm around her and the heat blasting from the car’s heater, Alyssa couldn’t quit shaking. Thank God Cole’s gunshot wound only required a few stitches. She moved closer to him and stared at the back of Kat’s head. Dani had arrived home with the twins and found the other two Justice siblings, Kat and Ethan, waiting at the beach house. Once they’d learned Gaddy’s identity, they hopped on a helicopter in case their siblings needed help.
What a family. Rescuers, every one of them. They’d fulfilled their promises by keeping all of them safe and ending this terrible ordeal with Nolan. Not in the way she’d thought it would end, but at least their nightmare was over.
She turned to Cole and found the same brooding look that had creased his face since she’d recovered enough from the shock to notice. “You had to shoot him.”
“I know. That still doesn’t make it any easier to take.”
She took his hand. “I’m alive because you chose to do the difficult thing.”
His expression softened, and he traced the side of her face with a gentle finger. “That’s the only thing that’s making this bearable at the moment.”
She looked into his eyes, getting lost. He moved closer. She knew he was going to kiss her. Could almost taste his lips on hers. She waited as he inched closer, feeling his breath soft on her face. One last look and his lips claimed hers. Thrilled to be alive, thrilled to be with him, she forgot all her reservations about him and responded. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her closer.
Time ceased to exist and she knew happiness she never thought she’d experience again.
“Ahem.” Kat loudly cleared her throat. “I said we’re here.”
Cole’s head lifted and Alyssa tried to pull out of his embrace, but he kept his arms locked around her. “Something you need to know about this family,” he whispered. “There’s no privacy. None.” He smiled down on her. “Trust me. I know.”
Breathless, Alyssa willed her thundering heart to slow.
What was she thinking letting Cole kiss her like that? Had she already given her heart to a man she still wasn’t sure she knew?
SEVENTEEN
Alyssa kissed Riley’s forehead then moved across the bedroom to Brianna and brushed her hair back. She pressed her lips against the warm forehead of her daughter and sighed.
Thank You, Father, for protecting my babies. And thank You for bringing the Justice family into my life. You have truly provided and I am forever grateful.
She’d have to tell them about Nolan’s death tomorrow, but once they got through that, their life could go back to normal. Well, sort of normal. After everything that had happened with Nolan, she couldn’t go back to the duplex to live, so she’d have to find an inexpensive apartment. Cole had already offered to let them stay at the rental until she could find a place.
She got up and took one last lingering look. She smiled, closed the door and headed down the long hallway. She found the Justice family sitting around the long oak dining table. Except for Dani and Derrick, they were all so different. She took the time to study the two siblings she’d met just hours ago in the chaos. Ethan sat at the head of the table, a serious expression on his face. Kat sat on the other end, face lit by laughter, her petite body nearly dwarfed by the large table.
Cole faced Alyssa, and his eyes met hers. All the emotions that zinged between them in the car were once again visible on his face. She should want to pull away, but it was getting harder and harder to resist him. When the others turned to look at her, she snapped her gaze free and felt her face heat up under their scrutiny as she crossed the room.
“How are the twins doing?” Dani asked.
“Fine.” Alyssa sat next to Cole in the only vacant chair. “I wanted to say thank you again to all of you. I don’t know what would’ve happened without you.” A shiver claimed her body and Cole reached out to hold her hand.
Eyebrows all around the table went up, and Alyssa slowly pulled her hand away.
“So I guess now that you have everything under control, Kat and I’ll be shoving off in the morning.” Ethan arched an eyebrow at Cole. “Would be good if you released Derrick, too, so we can get caught up on background checks.”
“Derrick’s good to go, but,” Cole paused and turned toward Dani, “could you stay for another day or so? I have a few things I need you to do.”
Dani cast a questioning look at her brother but nodded.
“Before you all leave, I wanted to talk to you about Todd,” Alyssa said. Feeling nervous asking them for anything more after all they’d done for her, she clutched her hands under the table. “When I was with Nolan, he admitted Todd had nothing to do with the drug business. In fact, he was killed because he was going to report Nolan. I realize Nolan telling me this doesn’t do anything to clear Todd’s name. So can anyone think of a way to do so?”
Cole swiveled toward Alyssa. “Agent Carter’s already planning a thorough investigation of the entire Pacific Bay Police Department. I also asked him to get permission from his supervisor to reopen Todd’s case.”
“Great,” Alyssa said, but she’d hoped Cole and his siblings would want to investigate, too. If anyone could clear Todd’s name, it would be the Justice family. And Cole would have to stay in Pacific Bay, she thought but pushed it away.
“As a sworn officer of the law, Carter will have the best chance to get the rul
ing on Todd’s case reversed.” Cole took her hand under the table. “But don’t worry. If he doesn’t find anything, we’ll investigate and make sure Todd’s name is cleared.” He squeezed her hand and smiled.
Alyssa could get lost in that smile, wanted to get lost in it, but after a long moment, she pulled away. Now that all the excitement was over, she wasn’t sure where they stood. She knew she had feelings for Cole, but how did he feel about her? Was he ready for a relationship? Was she? And would they have a chance to figure it out before he left Pacific Bay behind?’
* * *
Cole couldn’t sleep so he paced in front of the big window in the family room. He didn’t need to worry about Alyssa and the twins any longer, but he couldn’t put away his frustration of failing her. If only he hadn’t allowed Saunders to get near them. Then he’d know he was in control and could declare his love for her and the twins.
Why, Father? Why make this so difficult?
“Thought I heard someone out here.” Dani padded into the room in bare feet. She tucked her bathrobe tighter and wrapped her arms around her middle. “Seemed like things were good with you earlier, so why the frown?”
He shrugged.
“Does this have something to do with why you want me to stay?”
“Kind of.” He looked into the dark of night. “Alyssa will be staying here while she finds an apartment. I thought it might be good if you were here to help her out.”
“Translated—you want a buffer between you two.” She stepped in front of him. “Since you clearly have a thing for each other, why do you need a buffer?”
“I won’t waste time denying I’ve fallen for her. I have. Hard. But I’m the wrong person for her and I can’t seem to remember that when she’s around.”
“Care to tell me why you’re so wrong for her?”
He didn’t want to, but maybe talking about it would help. “She doesn’t want to be married to a guy with a dangerous job.”
Dani’s perfectly plucked brow rose. “And she told you this?”
“Not in so many words, but yeah, she said that she had a hard time with Todd being in the line of danger.”
“It’s not like you’re a marshal anymore. You aren’t in danger all that often, Cole.”
“But still.”
She rested her hands on his shoulders. “It sounds to me like you’re trying to come up with an excuse not to have to face the real problem.”
He hated that she could see through him, but she’d always been able to do so. “I guess you’ve noticed that after losing Mac, I’ve developed this thing about protecting others.”
“A ‘thing’ is putting it mildly, but yeah we all know that you feel guilty about surviving when Mac died.”
“I keep getting reminders about how that can happen again. The most recent one was tonight when Saunders took Alyssa and the twins.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live with myself if anyone else I’m responsible for gets hurt.”
“You’re my big brother and I respect you more than you know, Cole, but that’s foolish thinking.” Her tone had hardened. “We can’t control things around us. Not a single one of us can. God is in charge. He decides on life-and-death issues. If your line of thinking is right, then not a single person in this world should risk loving others. Do you think that’s how we all should live? Should Kat and Mitch not get married? Should Ethan and Jennie get divorced?”
“No, of course not. They deserve to be happy.”
“And so do you. Stop setting rules for yourself that you can’t possibly keep. God intended for us to share our lives with others. And He didn’t mean for us to live in fear that they will be taken from us.”
Cole studied his baby sister. She was so wise at times that he forgot how young she was. She’d always been able to embrace her faith and live it—and life—fully.
He took her in his arms and hugged her hard. “You’re the best sister a guy could ask for.”
“And don’t you forget it, Cole Justice.” She laughed, and his heart lit with joy that had been a long time in coming.
* * *
Cole headed up the walk to his rental house after dropping off the twins at school. He unlocked the door and let Alyssa go in first. After his discussion with Dani last night, he’d been thinking about a future with Alyssa. His mind kept coming back to the fact that she didn’t want to be married to someone who risked his life. Would he lay his feelings out there only for her to tell him she didn’t want the kind of life he could give her?
There was only one way to find out. Ask her. But she’d been occupied all morning and the drive home from school was the first time they’d been alone. He didn’t want to have such an important discussion without being able to look at her, so he’d waited.
She dropped her purse on the kitchen counter.
Cole stood in front of her so she couldn’t move away from him. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sounds serious,” she replied and leaned against the counter.
He shrugged. “I wondered how you knew when your marriage wasn’t going to work anymore.”
She flashed him a surprised look. “Actually, I’d hoped we would work things out until the day Todd died.”
It was Cole’s turn for surprise. “But you said you’d split up.”
“We did, but I promised if he sought counseling to get over his anger issues we could give it another try. In hindsight, I can see I was being naïve. After he hit me I don’t think I could’ve trusted him not to do it again.” She sighed out a deep breath. “Besides, he’d changed so much by then, he wasn’t the man I married anymore.”
“Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for men and women to change under the stresses of a law enforcement or military career.”
She nodded. “I’ve seen it happen with some of our friends. But, honestly, I think Todd would’ve had the same crisis in any career he was in. I don’t really blame the job.”
“So you wouldn’t be opposed to being married to a law enforcement officer again?”
Her eyes flashed up to his. “If I loved a man enough, I wouldn’t care what he did for a living.” She smiled. “He could even be a crazy PI like the men in your family and I wouldn’t care. I’d be concerned for his safety, but finding love is too rare. I wouldn’t let a job stand in my way.”
Relief flowed through his body and he knew Dani was right. He’d been letting himself think Alyssa would bail on him the way Laura had so he wouldn’t have to face his own issues. But Alyssa wouldn’t bail on him or send him a Dear John email. She’d stuck by a man who didn’t deserve it and even gave him a second chance. She wouldn’t run from anything in a relationship. Maybe not even Cole’s problems from the past.
Cole looked into her eyes, deeply, intently, wanting to let go of everything and love this amazing woman. “You’re really a special person.”
“So are you,” she said, letting out a long breath but not pulling away.
He wanted to kiss her. Was going to kiss her. But not like the last time. Then the joy of being alive had made them rush into it. Now he’d take his time. He put his hands on her shoulders then ran them down her arms. She shivered and he reveled in the effect his touch had on her.
He slipped his hands around her waist and drew her closer. She raised up on tiptoes as if urging him to kiss her. He held her with one arm and traced her lips with his finger. She closed her eyes and let out another breath.
“Look at me, Alyssa,” he whispered.
Her eyes flashed open.
“I want to kiss you,” he said.
She laughed and snaked her arms around his neck. “So what are you waiting for?”
Indeed, what was he waiting for? He slipped a wayward strand of hair behind her ear, his thumb brushing her temple. The temple Saunders had held a gun against less than twelve hour
s ago. Fear as terrifying as the day the IED took Mac out snaked through his heart. He couldn’t breathe.
Dani was wrong. He couldn’t do this.
He stepped back and took her arms from around his neck. Looked at her wrists bruised and raw from Saunders’s manhandling. “I want a relationship with you so badly, but I can’t. I just can’t do this right now.”
Her face exploded with pain, and he knew he’d blown it with her. Maybe forever. But no matter how much he loved her, and he did love her, he wouldn’t kiss her again until he could tell her how much he cared. He only hoped she’d still be there when he finally succeeded in wrestling with his problems.
* * *
The twins were laughing with Dani when they got home from school, but Alyssa hadn’t recovered from the abrupt end to what she had known was going to be the best kiss of her life so she didn’t join in. Despite her best attempt to guard her heart, she’d fallen for Cole. Worse than that, she’d almost told him. But now...now she felt crushed. She’d found a man she could trust—but he couldn’t trust himself. Until he learned to move past that, they couldn’t be together.
She wished she was strong enough to go back to the duplex to get away from him. Or go to a hotel, but she couldn’t afford it. She’d ask him to watch the twins tomorrow and she would spend the entire day finding an apartment with immediate occupancy. It would be best for all of them to simply say their goodbyes.
“Hey, Mom, the sun’s out. Can we play outside?” Riley dropped his backpack in the middle of the floor. Brianna gently settled hers on the table.
“You know better than that, Riley.” Alyssa gestured to pick up the bag.
“Sorry.” He grabbed the backpack and set it on the table. “It’s just, I thought maybe Cole might play football with me.”
“That’s up to Cole,” she answered, hoping he’d say yes so he’d go outside and she wouldn’t have to watch him brood.
Riley crossed the room to where Cole stood by the window and looked expectantly up at him. “You want to?”
No Way Out Page 18