by A. T Brennan
Bottom orgasms were always strong for me, but this one was the most intense I'd ever experienced, and it seemed to go on and on. Even after Caleb had stilled behind me, my body was still pulsing.
Caleb held me tight as I rode out the pleasure, his face against my neck as he panted against my skin.
My leg fell when I finally stopped shaking, and all my muscles gave out from bliss and exhaustion. Caleb's cock slowly softened inside me until I felt it slip out, and I briefly mourned the loss. I turned my head, needing to kiss him, and Caleb gladly obliged. We shifted as our lips moved against each other until he was laying on top of me, our spent dicks pressed between our bodies as we held each other tight.
“I love you,” Caleb whispered against my lips, and the rush of emotion that flowed through me was almost too much.
“I love you.” I knew he couldn't hear or see me, but I hoped he'd feel my words because they were true. I loved him, so much, and was so grateful he loved me too.
Our kisses slowed, and after a few moments, Caleb shimmied down a bit so he could rest his head on my chest as I held him. One of my hands played with his soft curls as the other held him on my body. We were slicked with sweat and cum, but I didn't care. There was no way in hell I was moving until he did. I wanted this moment to last as long as possible.
Chapter Twenty
Caleb
I HAD NO IDEA HOW LONG Rhys and I stayed cuddled on his bed together. The moment was perfect, and despite being messy and a little sticky, I didn't want it to end.
Because of what happened the last time Rhys asked me to top, I'd been terrified of not being able to perform again. I would have loved to face him during our encounter, to be able to see his reactions, but the pressure was just too much.
I knew I hadn't been all that good. I'd made Rhys come, but getting there had been sloppy and a little awkward. I was embarrassed by my eagerness, but I was glad Rhys had been the one I'd experienced that with.
I didn't know how I'd gotten so lucky. Rhys accepted me for me. He'd shown me that I might be different, but that didn't make me a burden or unworthy of acceptance. He'd reminded me how it felt to have fun and live in the moment. And he could still see me as a sexual person after he'd taken care of me when I'd had my seizures.
That had been one of the hardest things with Michael. The abuse was bad enough, but it was how he treated me after I had a seizure that had really cut deep. He'd look at me like I was disgusting, especially after the few tonic-clonic seizures I'd had in front of me where I'd lost control of my bladder. He hadn't been able to take care of me beyond getting me to a bathroom and giving me spare pants to change into, and then he'd leave while I slept it off. It would be days before he call again, and weeks could pass before he'd want to have sex again.
Rhys was the opposite. He'd been right by my side from the moment the seizure had hit to when I woke up from it. And even after cleaning me up and taking care of me, the desire in his eyes or the electricity in his touch hadn't dimmed in the slightest. He could separate my disability from me, and other than Lizzie, he was the only person who seemed to accept all of me with no reservations.
As happy as I was and as much as I loved him, a part of me was waiting for the other shoe to drop and for something to come between us. Things were too good, and that made me anxious.
I hated that my brain was wired this way. I could never just enjoy the good in life because there was always that nagging voice telling me it wouldn't last. It didn't matter how much reassurance I got from someone; that voice never fully went away. Lizzie was the only one who never seemed to mind my anxiety, and so far Rhys was being nothing but wonderful about it, but how long would that last? How long would he want to put up with someone who was so needy, especially considering how confident he was. Rhys was the whole package, and I was broken beyond repair.
“What's going through your head?” Rhys asked, shifting me onto his chest so I could look down at him and read his lips.
“Nothing.”
“Caleb, you don't have to hide your thoughts from me. I could feel you tense up. Are you okay with what we did?”
“It's not that,” I said quickly. “That was perfect.”
“Then what's bothering you?” He reached up and ran his hand through my curls, and I let out a deep sigh.
“My mind was wandering, and it went places I didn't like.”
“Where did it go?” he asked patiently.
“I'm scared.”
“Of what?”
“That things are going to change, and you'll realize how hard it is to love me.”
“Caleb, baby.” Rhys pulled me down for a quick kiss. “No. You're not hard to love. In fact, loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done. I know you have problems with anxiety, and I get that it's not only because of the abuse you suffered. It's a part of you, and I'll never get tired of it.”
“But you're so perfect-”
“I'm really not.” He laughed bitterly. “I let my family control me for twenty-five years. I let my sister down, and now I've been watching my niece suffer because of what I am. I hid my sexuality, and the moment it came to light, I jumped into one meaningless hookup after another because I wanted to feel wanted. I'm not perfect. Not even close.”
“You're perfect to me.”
“And you're perfect for me.” Rhys brushed his fingers across my lips and smiled. “If you're ever feeling scared or like you're not enough, tell me. Don't worry about being needy or me thinking you're insecure and getting tired of it because that won't happen.”
I nodded and bit my lip. There was still the matter of what would happen to us if Violet's guardianship was reversed floating around in my head, even though we'd already talked about it.
“What else is there.” Rhys reached up and pulled my lip free from my teeth.
“It's selfish.”
“I'll bet it's not.”
“What happens if you get Violet back?”
“What do you mean? I already told you that's not going to change anything between us.”
“She's going to need you, a lot. I'm scared there won't be a place for me in your life because she's rightfully going to be the most important part of it.”
Rhys sat up, easily maneuvering me so I was sitting in his lap with my legs around his waist.
“I'm in love with someone for the first time in my life. Violet is my family, but she's not the most important person in my life. Not anymore. I like to think I have more than enough love for both of you.”
“I just don't want to take away from her needs. I know what it's like to be her, an orphan with a disability. It was hell for me.”
“Violet knows I'm gay. She's always accepted it, and I know she's going to be thrilled that I found someone. I don't know how this is going to sound to you, but I kind of love the fact that she's going to have you in her life because you know what it's like to be in her shoes.”
“You really think I can help her?”
“I think you can help each other. And I'm so grateful to have both of you.”
I smiled at the thought. Rhys wanted me to be part of both of their lives. He wasn't going to abandon me.
“Feel better?”
“Yes, and I'm-”
“Don't you dare say you're sorry. Remember what I told you?”
“Right. Oops.” I blushed as Rhys laughed softly. “I'm grateful to have found you too.”
“What do you say we get cleaned up and then find a movie to watch? I'm in the mood to relax today.”
“That sounds perfect. You going to shower with me?” I asked devilishly.
“I am. But I can't guarantee that I'll be able to keep my hands off you if I do.”
“I'm okay with that.”
“I've got some special shower lube...” Rhys trailed off as his eyes fell to my lips. “We could always test it out.”
“That sounds like a great idea.” I tried not to think about all the guys Rhys must have been with in his bed or in his shower.
I hated that my mind went there, but I couldn't stop it.
“Good. Because I've always wondered what it would be like to use it with someone else.” He winked, and I flushed. I knew he'd said that for my benefit, and I appreciated it.
Rhys gave me one last kiss and tightened one arm around my back. I wasn't sure what was happening until he planted his other hand on the mattress and swung his legs over the side of the bed, spinning me around with him.
“Hold on,” Rhys warned with a grin.
I barely had time to tighten my grip when he stood, picking me up like I weighed nothing. I squealed involuntarily, then laughed as Rhys carried me into the bathroom. I'd always felt a little self-conscious about our different body types, but having a boyfriend who could pick me up was kind of thrilling.
It made me wonder how else he could manhandle me, and my dick began to fill and thicken as my mind flashed to him gently tossing me around in bed and using his strength on me. I'd never thought I'd be into any sort of dominance, but it seemed that was a latent fantasy my subconscious had kept hidden until I found someone I trusted.
I was definitely going to have to find a time to tell Rhys about it. This was one fantasy I really wanted to make a reality.
AFTER A VERY SATISFYING shower where I learned the wonders of shower sex with Rhys, we settled on his couch to watch a movie. We settled on a gay romcom I hadn't seen yet, and he put on the closed captioning for me. It was nice, cuddling and watching a movie like a normal couple. I'd never realized just how much I loved being held, but now that cuddling had become a regular thing with Rhys, I couldn't seem to get enough of it.
When the movie was over, Rhys made burgers for dinner, and they were the best ones I'd ever tasted. I had no idea what spices he'd put in the patties, but every bite burst with flavor. I noticed how he flushed every time I complemented his cooking, and made a mental note to make sure I always let him know how great his food was.
Once we were done eating, I was feeling both very full and a little tired. We settled in front of the TV again, with me cuddled up to him as he held me close, and watched another movie, this time a slapstick comedy.
Even with closed captioning it was hard for me to follow these types of movies. I got the sight gags, but the dialogue went by so quickly I missed a lot of it, and without context or being able to hear their tones, it was hard to follow.
Rhys seemed to sense my difficulties and turned the movie off halfway through it.
“Tired?” he asked.
“A little.”
“Do you want me to take you home? Or would you like to stay here tonight?”
“I'd like to stay here, but...”
“But what?”
“I've never stayed somewhere that wasn't retrofitted. Not since I started living on my own.”
“I don't mind taking you home if it would make you more comfortable.”
“I think I need to step outside my comfort zone. You know? I feel safe with you, so I want to be able to stay here without freaking out.”
“I'll always keep you safe, I promise.”
“I know. You already have.”
“Come on. Let's get into bed and cuddle some more. If you haven't noticed, I'm a cuddle whore.”
“I apparently am too.” I laughed as Rhys gave me an exaggerated fist bump in mock victory.
“Then let’s get our asses in bed and cuddle it up.”
I was about to answer when Rhys picked me up and shifted me on his lap as he stood, taking me with him again. I was too tired for more than just cuddling tonight but made the decision to tell him about my fantasy when we were in bed. It seemed like something we'd have to talk out, and I wanted to experience it as soon as freaking possible.
RHYS AND I SPENT THE next day at his apartment doing nothing except eating takeout and making love. It was incredible. We'd talked out my fantasy, and Rhys was on board with it. He'd told me he had a bit of a dominant streak in him, and he'd love to explore it a bit. He'd also confessed a fantasy of his that I wasn't expecting. He loved to see men in shiny material, something about the contours and shadows it created. He'd asked if I'd be willing to wear a pair of PVC briefs for him. I'd definitely been intrigued by the idea, and we'd gone online and ordered a pair that we both liked.
I loved how open we could be. We hadn't been together that long, and we'd only just started saying that we loved each other, but it felt right to confide in him and have him do the same with me.
We talked about my relationship with Lizzie, both in the past and now. Michael had hated the idea of me being bisexual and refused to acknowledge that I'd enjoyed sex with a woman. It wasn't something I was ever allowed to talk about, and he'd tried to keep me away from Lizzie out of jealousy. At the time I hadn't realized what he was doing, but looking back it was just another way for him to control me.
Rhys, on the other hand, wanted to hear about it and talk it out with me. I still found women attractive, and I was still interested in them sexually. I might prefer men, but I still enjoyed women and watched straight and lesbian porn as well as gay porn. I knew it wasn't anything to be ashamed of, but it was still hard to reconcile having a foot in both the straight and gay worlds.
Rhys suggested I talk to his manager at work, Layla, if I needed someone who understood. Apparently she was bisexual as well, even if that wasn't a widely known fact. According to Rhys, she preferred women and hadn't dated any men in the time that she'd been at The Den, but she'd told Rhys the truth one night when they'd been closing up and had found themselves in a deep conversation about their sexuality. Rhys had told Layla about his family and how he'd hidden that he was gay until being outed, and Layla had told him about being bisexual and the difficulties she'd had with coming to terms with it.
I didn't know Layla well enough to talk to her about my sexuality, I'd only met her briefly at Kai's party, but Rhys assured me Layla would soon take my under her wing and I'd become one of her “boys.”
Rhys and I both had to work the next day, so I spent the night at his place again. I'd been worried that I wouldn't be able to sleep that first night, seeing as it was a new environment and it had none of my assisted living devices in it, but feeling Rhys's arms around me as I drifted off to sleep seemed to be all I needed, and I was out cold until he shook me awake the next morning.
We got up at ten, took a shower together that took a lot longer than it should have because we blew each other under the water, then had a quick breakfast before Rhys drove me home.
It was a bit weird to be by myself after five, almost six days of being in the hospital and then at Rhys’s. But after checking my work email and finding almost three hundred messages, I got into the zone and forgot all about being alone.
Rhys and I fell into a routine so naturally I don't remember us talking about it; things just started happening. We alternated whose apartment we stayed at, depending on what time Rhys's shifts started. He made us dinner every night and breakfast in the morning, and he made sure I drank one of those shakes during the day. On the weekends, we stayed at my place if Rhys had to work, and we spent pretty much every free moment we had together.
He still met up with Tristan to go to the gym every day, and about every other day we'd go for a long walk together. I knew it was his way of getting me to exercise, and I didn't mind. I loved the time together and how he wasn't ashamed to be out in public with me. It was the simple things like holding a door open for me or taking my hand as we walked that I really loved. I'd never had that before.
We also started spending time with his friends, and Lizzie hung out with us a few times a week as well. I liked his friends, especially Tristan. He reminded me of what one of my foster moms used to call an “old soul.” And Rhys had been right about Layla. The second time I'd met her, she gave me a big hug and announced that she was unofficially adopting me as one of her boys and I was part of the family now. For a foster kid who'd never had a family, that statement almost brought me to tears.
I had to admit I
was fascinated by Jonah, Cody, and Isaac. I'd never met a triad before, and while I'd never be able to be in one because I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I loved Rhys, it was plain to see how perfect they were together. The love between them was almost palpable, the same as it was with Blaze and Galen and Kai and Zander.
Three weeks into our new normal, Galen called Rhys to tell him the court date for Violet's guardianship had been scheduled. He'd warned Rhys that the date could be as far as six months away, depending on the cases the courts had to hear. Apparently they'd lucked out, and his date was in less than a week.
It was great news in that he'd finally get a chance to be with his niece again. Not seeing or hearing from her for a month had been tough on him. The restraining order might have been lifted, but his parents still controlled her schedule and her phone, so other than a few emails, they'd had no contact.
There was really nothing he could do to prepare for the hearing. Galen explained everything that would happen and what their roles were, but other than that, all they could do was wait.
The night before the hearing, Rhys was a bundle of nerves. He was so shaky and distracted we ended up ordering food and spending the evening wrapped up in each other's arms on the couch. When it was time for bed, Rhys held me close, and even though I tried to stay awake until he fell asleep, I could tell by his breathing that he hadn't fallen asleep before I did.
That morning he was a wreck. It was really the first time I'd taken care of him, and I was glad to be able to help. We showered together, and I took my time washing Rhys's hair and body, trying to give him comfort. I helped him pick out what he was going to wear, and made us breakfast. I wished I could drive him to the court house, but that was the one thing I couldn't do.
Galen was waiting for us outside the main door, and both men looked especially handsome in their suits. I'd put on a dress shirt and slacks so I'd look presentable and really hoped that I wasn't singled out at all. As much as I wanted to help Rhys with his case, the anxiety around the idea of being called out in the courtroom scared the crap out of me. Galen had assured me that I wasn't on the witness list, so I wouldn't have to worry about speaking, but it was a very real possibility that I'd be talked about and pointed out since I was Rhys's partner.