by Amy Johnson
“What makes you think you’d find anything even if you did search. Ted’s not stupid. If he’s having an affair, he’s not going to leave post it notes around his desk saying so,” Ali said.
“True. But if he’s cheating, we’ll find something. Cell phone bills or condoms or phone numbers or maybe panties in his desk…” Mickey cut Josie off before Megan found a fork and lunged it at Josie’s throat.
“I agree,” Mickey began, “We can just take a look around. See if anything pops up. If nothing does, great. But if something does, than when he denies it Megan can show him the proof and he’ll have to tell the truth. Then we can call Tom.” He turned his attention to Megan, “So is Tom seeing anybody?”
“Yes!” Josie answered. “He’s seeing Megan and if Megan doesn’t want him, I get dibs.”
“You can’t call dibs!”
“Can too.”
“Can NOT”
Megan went back to banging her head while Stacy downed her drinks and Ali ordered more.
“Guys!” Ali shouted over Mickey and Josie. “If Megan doesn’t want Tom, you guys can flip a quarter for him.” They stopped arguing and Mickey pulled out a quarter. “I call tails,” he said, throwing the quarter in the air.
“Figures,” Josie said. Josie won the toss and that little problem was solved. Stacy, feeling the alcohol now, was the next to speak.
“Alright! Here’s what I think,” she said through slurred speech, “I think Megan is overreacting. Just because Ted isn’t jumping for joy every time he sees her doesn’t mean he’s having an affair. He didn’t freak out about Tom because he knows Megan well enough to know she would never cheat on him. He trusts her and he knew there had to be a perfectly logical explanation. And there was. Right Meg?” Megan nodded. Stacy turned to face Megan. “So I say you go home and talk with him and, like Ali said, you tell him how you feel and what you need from him. You’ve been married ten years. He loves you.” She put her hands flat on the table probably to steady herself from her spinning head.
“You got to give him the benefit of the doubt Meg,” Ali said. “You guys just might be in a rut. Maybe all you need is a nice long talk.” Yeah right, Megan thought. What would Ali know about ruts? The ink on her marriage license probably wasn’t even dry yet.
“I’ll try it.” Megan said. “But if that goes nowhere, I’m going to plan B.”
“Which is?” Mickey asked.
“Tom,” Josie supplied. “Right Meg? Tom is plan B, huh?”
Megan rolled her eyes, “No! Plan B is the search.”
“So Tom is plan C then. Okay, I got it now,” Josie said.
***
Later that night, when Megan was back home she went looking for Ted who was obviously not home. No note saying he’d be home shortly or telling her where he would be. She dumped her purse and jacket on the counter and went to check on her animals. The pups were outside chewing on Ted’s favorite pair of running shoes. “Good pups!” she told them and left them to finish their task. Spot was hiding behind his treasure box again. She tried to lure him out so she could talk to him but he was smart enough to stay put, so she dropped some food in his bowl and sank onto the couch.
Ted had probably left her. She looked around the house and searched for his belongings. His tennis racquet, his trophies from high school, his autographed football, the stack of Sports Illustrated and Muscle Man magazines. Everything was still there where it always was. He hadn’t left her. He’d just stepped out for something. Or someone.
Or maybe he thought she was crazy and feared for his life and left with only the clothes on his back. He could be at the funny farm now trying to get her admitted so he could come back later and retrieve his stuff. No. he wouldn’t do that because who would cook his dinner then, or wash his clothes.
He was probably with his girlfriend. Or his boyfriend. She closed her eyes and tried to picture Ted with another man. She couldn’t. Ted was too man-like to be gay. She thought of Mickey dressed like Michael. He looked like a manly man too. And yet he was…What was he anyways? She made a mental note to ask him.
She picked up the phone to call Ted’s cell phone. No answer. She tried the office and after four rings she heard Ted’s deep voice on the answering machine. OK, she told herself, enough of this. She came home prepared to talk to him and he’s was gone. Time to switch to plan B. She’d search the house. She called Josie to come help.
Josie showed up a half an hour later dressed to the nines in a red leather mini skirt that barely covered her butt, a matching red halter that did little to cover her bulging breasts, and high heel boots that went up to her knees. Her blonde hair was pulled from her scalp and ratted into a sporadic mess of curls and her eyes were lined black with glitter eye shadow. She looked like Dominatrix Barbie with a bad hair do. Apparently she’d been on a date when she got Megan’s call.
“Hot date?” Megan asked. Josie rolled her eyes and blew out a long sigh.
“I wish.”
“Where’s Mr. Wonderful now?”
“Outside in the car. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to invite him in.”
“Sure. Go ahead.” What the hell. Josie leaned out the door, stuck two fingers in her mouth and let out an ear splitting whistle. A moment later a figure stepped out of the car and started up the walk. Josie handled the introductions.
“Megan, this is Duff! Duff, Megan.” Duff stood about six foot, and could only be described as scrawny. His hair was ratted, black and dirty, and hung to the middle of his back. He wore all black leather and had piercings in every hole visible, and a thick black collar with silver spikes sticking out around his neck. A long chain hung from the collar and dangled around his waist. Dark sunglasses wrapped around his malnourished face.
“How’s it hangin’, babe?”
“Huh? Oh everything is hanging just fine thank you.” She released his hand.
“Want me to kick his ass?”
“Huh?” Megan asked and Josie jumped into the conversation.
“Meg, I apprised Duff of the situation on the way over. He says he cheats on all of his girlfriends so he knows where to hide stuff. He can help us search.” Duff smiled, gave a palms up gesture, and planted an arm around Josie’s shoulder. Megan blinked several times, wondering if Josie could be as clueless as she seemed.
“Josie, can I speak to you alone for a minute? In the kitchen?” Megan asked.
“Sure.” Once in the kitchen Megan spoke in a very low voice.
“Josie, if he cheats on his girlfriends, why are you seeing him? And you do know him right? I mean he looks like he might…oh I don’t know, say gag and torture us or something.” Josie placed her hand on Megan’s shoulder and spoke sincerely.
“Meg, I’m not seeing him, we just went to a club. He’s a musician!” Of course he was. “Anyway, we are just casual you know, and he doesn’t commit major crimes. Anymore.”
“Anymore?” Megan should have called Stacy or Ali, they wouldn’t show up with a Gene Simmons wannabe who spent his free time cheating on girlfriends and committing felonies. Of course they probably wouldn’t help her prowl through Ted’s stuff either.
“You know in his younger days he did some things, nothing major, just a little drugs, set a few fires. And there was the weapons charge but he swears he was set up on that.”
“Josie, we really need to talk about your taste in men.”
“Why?” Josie asked innocently. Could anyone be that clueless? Maybe all the blonde hair dye was seeping through to her brain and screwing up her neuro- transmitters.
“Never mind! Let’s just get this over with,” Megan muttered pushing her way past Josie back into the living room. Duff was standing there leaning in the doorway looking completely bored.
“So?” he asked. “Want me to kick his ass?”
“Not yet,” Megan answered, wondering if this guy could fight his way out of a paper sack.
“So where do we start?” Josie asked excitedly. “This is so cool. Do you have any gloves?”
Megan looked at her sideways. “You know so we don’t leave fingerprints.”
“It’s my house, Josie. We don’t need gloves.”
“Well they always use them in the movies. You know they snap those latex gloves on and then crouch around in the shadows.”
“You know I just ran out of latex gloves this morning. I used them all up on my last home invasion. I’ll be sure to add them to the grocery list,” Megan snapped.
“Well that just sucks! Here I was all excited to get my hands in some latex gloves and….”
“Latex turns you on?” Duff inquired.
“Totally!” Duff reached in his pocket and fished around.
“I got some love gloves. You can try them.”
“Love gloves?” Josie asked, Megan rolled her eyes so far up in her head, she was sure she could see her hair follicles.
“You know condoms, rubbers.” Duff handed them to Josie who snapped them open and began trying to pull them over her hands. Megan looked up and asked God to please take her NOW! Or at least take Josie.
“Well I guess these’ll work. It’s kind of hard to move my fingers but what the hell. It makes it more exciting don’t you think Meg?”
“Sure Josie, whatever you say. You know when this is all done, I’m going to get you some therapy, or maybe a brain scan, you know make sure you still have one.”
Josie laughed, “Of course I have one silly! The gloves were my idea, remember?”
Megan contemplated throwing herself down the basement stairs.
“Let’s start in the dark room. Ted knows I never go down there. If he’s hiding something that would be the best place to put it.”
“Oh God! I’m scared of the dark,” Josie cried.
“I’ll protect you, my little sex goddess,” Duff consoled.
Great! That’s all the world needs is those two contributing to the gene pool. Thank God for Special Ed.
“Josie, we’ll turn the lights on. There are lights down there. It’s just called a dark room because…Oh never mind,” Megan muttered.
They went down to the basement to the section Ted had turned into his dark room. When he’d first started his business he did a lot of work at home. Once he got the studio up and running he did less work in the basement but he did spend the major portion of his time at home down here and sometimes when Megan called him up for dinner he would tell her he was working. So chances were he still spent some time in there.
They passed his weights and workout machines. Josie crouched behind every piece hiding from imaginary people, her love gloved hands close to her body.
“He use all this stuff?” Duff asked.
“Obsessively,” Megan answered.
“Remember my offer to kick his ass?”
“Yeah.”
“Forget about it!”
Megan opened the door to the dark room, flipped on the lights and they peered in. There was lots of photo developing equipment covering the counters, vats of water in the sinks, and a shelf full of chemicals in the corner. Strung all the way across the room was a wire with metal clips that held a variety of photos for all to see.
Megan scanned them, seeing the pups, Ted’s parents at their 50th anniversary party, a naked red head with very large breasts, a sunrise. Wait! A naked red head?
“Who’s the babe?” Duff asked unclipping a photo of the mystery woman.
“I don’t know,” Megan answered, feeling her throat grow dry. “Probably a shoot from work.” Yeah right! He shot weddings, birthdays, kids’ sports teams and family portraits. This damn sure wasn’t work. This was play!
“Here’s one of her holding a baseball glove over her…you know,” Josie said.
“Maybe she’s a little league coach. You know he has a contract with the little league association,” Megan growled.
“Ain’t nothing little about those babies,” Duff said pointing to the naked woman’s humongous breasts.
“Let’s look in these drawers,” Megan said wanting to divert her attention anywhere else but at those pictures. There could be a very logical explanation for those pictures. Maybe Ted developed them for one of his friends. What friends, she reminded herself. Ted didn’t have any friends.
“Meg?” Josie called out. “I think I found some pot.”
“What?” Megan asked.
“Pot?” Duff called out. “Let me see.” He took the bag from Josie, opened it, inhaled the familiar scent and smiled. “Yep! That’s pot alright.” He examined the green substance more clearly. “This here’s some primo stuff, babe. Wanna smoke some?”
“NO!” Megan shouted and snatched the bag away from Duff. “This is a drug free house. I have dogs and a fish upstairs. I have to be a role model.” Megan tucked the bag in her pocket.
“You know Meg, a little dope might do that fish some good. He’s too high strung. Maybe you should just sprinkle a little of that in his bowl. Chill him out a little.”
“Josie! I will not get my fish stoned. Are you crazy?” Dumb question she realized even before the words left her lips. “Just keep looking!”
They kept looking around the dark room and Megan grew more and more grim as the search progressed. She was married to a man who had naked pictures strung across the room and a stash of pot. She didn’t even know Ted anymore and wasn’t sure if she wanted to.
On the filing cabinet by the window was a picture of Megan and Ted right after they got married. They looked so young and happy. What the heck had happened?
Megan felt tears sting her eyes and fought them back. She would not cry. She would be strong and get to the bottom of this. Then she’d cry. She glanced at Ted’s computer and tapped the mouse. The screen lit up and Megan went to Ted’s inbox, checking his email. Nothing there. They searched the rest of the dark room and found nothing else that proved Ted was a cheating dirt bag, which for some reason didn’t ease Megan’s mind.
“Let’s go back upstairs. There’s nothing else here,” Megan said. As if she needed to find anything else. Her husband was a pervert pot smoker. Wasn’t that enough?
Josie took her love gloves off and threw them in the kitchen trash. “Wanna search his office?”
“Yeah. I do. Lets…” The sound of the door stopped her dead in her tracks. Ted was home. The bastard! “We’ll have to do it tomorrow night. I’ll call you later,” Megan whispered and ushered Dominatrix Josie and Duff out the back door.
“You gonna share the pot, babe?” Duff asked. Megan pursed her lips and shook her head. “Just asking, babe. No sense wasting some good bud.” He finished on his way out the door.
Chapter SixMegan stood in the kitchen waiting for Ted to come in so she could talk to him. She heard the door shut, then the familiar sound of his feet pounding down the stairs. A minute later she heard the basement door slam shut. Who in the hell did he think he was? If he thought he could weasel his way out of talking to her he had another thing coming. He had some explaining to do. Like, for instance, why he had pictures of Miss January hanging in his dark room. And at what point he had become a pot head.
Slowly she made her way to the basement door and tapped lightly. He didn’t answer. She took a deep breath and called his name in the sweetest voice she could muster. Again no answer.
“Ted! I know you’re down there. Answer the door. We need to talk.” Still no answer. “Ted!” she yelled. To hell with sweetness. “Open the door now!”
“Go away Meg. I don’t want to talk. I’m busy.”
“Oh really? Doing what? Drooling over Miss Little League?”
After a long pause Ted answered the door. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Meg.”
“Really?” She lifted her chin and arched her eyebrows then pushed her way past him, went down the stairs and picked up an antique camera he’d had for years. She turned it around in her hands like she’d never seen it before. Ted stood there silent, his gaze following the camera. She threw the camera in the air and made a show of catching it at the last possible second. Ted lunged to catch
it but she pulled it close to her chest, her eyes taunting him the whole time. She took a pitching stance, the camera in her throwing arm. “Know what I’m talking about now, Ted?”
“Megan, don’t. That camera’s worth a lot of money. My dad gave it to me.” She mimicked a fake pitch letting the camera almost fall out of her hand.
“You’re wasting time Ted. You’re memory better come back soon or this camera’s going out to left field.”
“Megan, honey, please! I wanted to save that to pass down to our kids someday.” Of all the things he could have said that was the wrong damn thing. She’d wanted kids for years and he’d been adamant about putting it off. Eventually she realized that he didn’t want kids and she learned to deal with that. She had Spot and Bitty and Bug. But she would never get to experience their first days of school, or proms or graduations. “Meg! We can talk. Just give me the camera.”
“Miss Naked Little League?” she said swinging the camera by its strap with Ted lunging for it each time it swung his way. “Now Ted!”
“Megan, you don’t want to do this.”
“Yeah! Actually I do.”
“You’re not like this Meg, your sweet and gentle…and…”
“What Ted? Obedient? Stupid?” She took another practice pitch. “Well not anymore, I’m not. Now you have one more opportunity to tell me who she is and why you’ve got naked pictures of her in my house. I’ll count to three.”
“One.”
“Meg, your mother called and she’s really worried about you…”
“Two.”
“--She thinks you might be taking drugs. We can get you help honey.” Wrong answer Bud!
“Three!” Megan reared back and belted the camera towards the brick wall where it smashed into a million little pieces. Ted lunged to try and catch it, tripped over a barbell and landed flat on his face on the concrete floor.
“Look what you did! I hope you feel real good about yourself!” Ted said from the floor where he was wiping blood from his lip. “That camera was an heirloom.”