by Debra Kayn
She stood at the railing watching him climb off the balcony and lower himself to the seat of his Harley parked underneath. Together, they'd worked through their immediate problems, and she looked forward to when her contract ended at Red Light.
She hung over the railing and whistled to get Bear's attention.
Bear gazed up and shook his head in amusement. "That's not quite a wolf whistle, sweetheart, but I'll take it."
She blew him a kiss, her heels lifted off the wrought iron slats of the balcony floor and grinned. If he wanted to believe she thought he was sexy, that was okay with her.
He was more than sexy. He made her feel alive again.
Chapter Eighteen
The long-haul trucker pulled his cock out of Madison. She crunched her stomach and rolled into a sitting position at the end of the bed. She smiled at the overweight man and walked slowly to the wastebasket. Her hips ached having been pushed to their limit bearing his weight.
She held out the basket for the used condom and counted the seconds for the door to open, and she could rub the muscle spasms out of her thighs.
"You're a sweet, little thing." The trucker eyed her again from head to toe. "I travel all over. How about telling me which bordellos you work at, and I can see you again?"
She shook her head and pointed to her mouth.
"Ah, right. You can't talk." The trucker chuckled. "Probably a good thing. My wife finds out about me stopping in here, and she'd kick my ass to the curb."
She turned away from him and picked up her robe. He deserved to go home to a locked house. Men who sought sex away from their marriage weren't husband material. Sex was sex, and found anywhere, but true companionship, respect, desire, seemed only to happen to the lucky ones.
At least, that's what she'd learned on her own. She'd have a better chance hitting the lottery.
Her mother's long-term relationship with Del gave her an example of a toxic, dependent, and abusive relationship. Her mother stayed with a man who cheated, beat, and blamed his shortcomings on a woman too insecure to realize she only heard an I love you when Del got caught stepping over the boundaries her mom tried desperately to set, and failed every single time.
While Madison never claimed to be an expert on relationships, she understood what she didn't want in her life. The exposure to a neglectful childhood was one of the reasons why she never looked around for someone to share her life. Living day in and day out answering to a man and prepared to jump out of the way had exhausted her growing up.
In her line of work, she'd lost all faith in men. Authentic, good men never visited a bordello.
Until Bear showed up and kept her company. He was too good to be true and had her believing in the impossible.
Even viewing Jeremy and Tiff's relationship gave her hope that she'd be one of the lucky ones and find contentment with a biker.
The door opened, and Tiff stood back to let the trucker out of the room. The second Madison was alone, she leaned over and rubbed her thighs up and down. The man had to weigh two hundred pounds more than her.
A tear rolled off the end of her nose. She straightened and wiped her cheek, staring at the wetness on her hand. When had she started crying?
She pressed her hand to her upper chest. Her heart beat normally and her breathing remained normal.
She inhaled deeply and walked into the bathroom. There was no reason for tears. She'd finished with the last man for the day, and although the act strained her body because of his size, she wasn't hurt. In a couple of hours, she'd forget about everything and concentrate on Bear.
She slipped into the shower and closed her eyes, letting the warmth of the water sooth her body. Her chest tightened, and her body weakened. She caught herself on the wall, shaken with silent sobs ripping through her body.
Letting the sadness out, she cried harder when her mind finally let in the truth. She wanted Bear. She didn't want the men who visited her.
She'd failed to keep her thoughts on normal every-day things. Instead, in between the customers, she'd thought of her plans she'd made with Bear for next month, the way he promised to stand by her, strong and unwavering.
He gave her courage to act on her feelings. In return, she had sex with other men when all she wanted was Bear.
She failed to shut off her emotions.
Bear brought out the best in her, and if he wasn't on her mind, she thought about the huge step she'd need to take, testing her ability to let go of her past and embrace the future. Bear invaded all her thoughts, even when working, and guilt ate a huge hole in her heart.
She scrubbed her skin, wincing at the sting and ache. The filth of performing for other men, faking her pleasure, pretending everything was okay covered every inch of her, and she feared Bear recognizing the betrayal and question her about faking it with him.
Weak and scared, she feared he'd learn the truth.
Her damaged soul exposed and free for judging, she worried Bear would call her a fake and realize she had no skills to make a relationship work. The pieces of herself she'd lost every time a man passed through her door would never come back. Soon, she'd have nothing left Bear would find satisfying. More than her anxiety over disappointing herself, she feared hurting Bear. He deserved much more than she could give him and a woman without a history of men using her body.
She shampooed her hair, pushing herself to control her emotions. She had to bolster her drive to prove she could relate to him and give everything she had over to him, to feel, to enjoy, to accept she deserved to be loved.
Bear would be here soon.
She inhaled through her nose and exhaled slowly out her mouth. She could go a month until being with Bear. Only four weeks. She'd take each day and do her best to keep Bear out of her thoughts while she worked and saved everything for him when he came to keep her company in the evenings.
She dressed and blew out her hair, adding mascara to her lashes, a thick liner to her eyes, and lipstick to her lips. To distract Bear from the emotional breakdown lingering around her eyes, she wore a short, black dress. She ran her hands over her hips and inhaled. The dress coupled with her flat, black boots gave her an edgy appearance and made her feel brave.
But first, she needed to put food in her stomach and convince the other ladies she wanted to spend the night in her room and not socializing with them on the roof.
She entered the kitchen to catcalls from the other ladies. Shaking her head in amusement, she sat down and accepted the half of a deli sandwich, a pickle, and boiled egg on a paper plate.
"Why are you all fancy?" Sunny raised her brows ogling Madison.
Madison grabbed the notebook and pen Tiff kept on the table for her sake and jotted her answer.
"Ran out of clean clothes. I need to do laundry in the morning."
Sunny read the note and passed it to Paige. Guilty of lying, Madison took a bite of dill pickle and swallowed.
"Uh huh." Paige nudged Aubrey with her elbow. "That explains the dress and boots, but what about the makeup?"
Madison rolled her eyes and wrote on the pad. "New makeup, and after the day I had, I'm pampering myself tonight. I'm doing my nails and toes after dinner and a hot oil treatment. You think I get these looks from drinking beer up on the roof and not getting my rest?"
"Touché, girlfriend." Aubrey laughed. "You're giving yourself a spa night at home."
Madison pointed her finger at Aubrey and nodded with a smile. If falling back on a woman's excuse to stay in her room alone and have them believe her story, she'd agree to anything. Nobody questioned Sunny, who always wore dressy clothes after getting off of work or Paige, who practiced different hairstyles or the way Aubrey usually wore a coat inside the building as if any moment someone would arrive to take her home. There was no reason for them to interrogate her.
Except, she'd lied, and Bear would soon arrive. She'd broken rules, and Bear fixed all her problems because he belonged to the same club Tiff's boyfriend or husband or whatever he called himself in the r
elationship was the president of Bear's club.
Marci removed the empty sacks the food came in and tossed them in the garbage. "Easy night, no dishes. We're running late, so by the time you're done, Silver Girls will be open."
Madison picked up her sandwich again and finished eating. She wanted everything to stay normal. She'd wait for Bear, calm, happy, and excited, even if she had to fake it.
"Hey, Madison," said Tiff.
Madison turned in her seat. Tiff had walked into the room without her knowing.
"Are you done eating?" Tiff leaned to the right and glanced at Madison's empty plate. "Can I see you for a moment?"
She picked up her phone and carried her paper plate to the garbage. Skirting the table, she ignored the curious glances sent her way and walked out of the room.
Once in the hallway, Tiff motioned her to walk with her down the hall. "Everything is okay, Madison. You're not in trouble."
Madison raised her brows questioning why she got pulled out of the kitchen.
"I heard a rumor," said Tiff.
Madison stopped outside the Blue Door and put her hand on the handle.
"Okay, word travels fast in Moroad, so I'm assuming the news of you planning to stay in Federal after your contract at Red Light ends is true and not a rumor." Tiff stepped closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I could tell you how I run a strict bordello and rules are never broken, but you'll soon find out if Moroad has their hand in something around here the rules don't mean much." Tiff worked her lips in worry.
Madison typed on her phone and held it up to Tiff.
"I don't understand."
"Honey, you will." Tiff glanced behind her and returned her attention to Madison. "I needed to get you away from the others to tell you Bear is taking you away from the Sterling Building tonight, and I don't need you breaking your neck climbing over your balcony, so I'll distract the others in the kitchen, and you're going to walk out of the second-floor exit. The door is unlocked, and Bear is waiting for you at the back of the building. I need to stress to you that because you're working for Red Light, you cannot have sex with anyone outside of working at Red Light. I need to keep the customers safe, and you protected. I've already told Bear about what I expect from him, and he's promised that he'll keep his...dick to himself tonight."
Madison's head snapped back. Her madam talked to Bear about her private life?
"Bear will bring you back after Silver Girls closes and Jeremy will be downstairs to escort you up to the second floor. Please, please be careful coming in. It's imperative to keep your activities away from the other ladies," said Tiff.
Madison typed a question on the phone. "Why are you so kind to me?"
"I like you, Tiff. But, I love Bear. Moroad Motorcycle Club is my family. You'll learn soon that everyone relies on Bear. I'd trust Bear with my life. He's stable and would help anyone who asked, and I'm returning a favor." Tiff's mouth softened. "You can trust him. But, if I find out you're taking advantage of him, I'll escort you out of town myself."
Madison nodded.
"Let's get you outside." Tiff grabbed her elbow and propelled her back down the hall before she could even comprehend Bear waited for her and she had permission to leave the Sterling Building.
She was going outside on a date, manipulated by Bear and a huge family of others she had yet to meet. Her legs shook. What was she getting into?
On the fast track of being put smack in the middle of Bear's life, she had no option but to go forward. She wanted time with Bear. It's what she craved and needed.
Then why was she petrified to walk out the door?
Chapter Nineteen
The moon sat above the Bitterroot Mountains and lit Madison's progress down the stairs from the second-level of the Sterling Building to the ground. Bear stepped forward and held out his hand to help her down the last few steps, his gaze on the long, sexy legs showing under her dress.
He whistled long and low. "Beautiful."
"Thank you," she mouthed.
He dragged his gaze up her body and blew out his breath. "I was going to take you to the lake, but you'd freeze wearing that outfit."
She glanced up at the building. He brought her hand up and kissed the back of her fingers. "It's okay. We'll go somewhere we can talk, and you can stay warm."
She gave a short nod and let him lead her to his Harley. He pulled his coat out of the duffle strapped to the back of the seat and helped her put her arms in the sleeves. "It's gonna be big, but you'll need it to keep warm. I'm going to take you on a ride. Not far. Only a couple of blocks away."
She put her hand on his chest and patted him. He stopped trying to zip the coat on her and waited why she wrote him a message.
"We can't have sex."
Bear chuckled and kissed her. "I've wanted to have sex with you for a while and every time I'm with you the thought of having sex with you enters my head...oh, every ten seconds or so, but I'm not an asshole. I can wait until you are mine."
She lowered her gaze and typed out another message. "I was reminding myself."
He kissed her and tasted her nervousness. His chest expanded, and he savored her mouth and the way she stroked his tongue. The next four hours would be the shortest and the longest of his life, and that included the many nights he sat in a prison cell by himself counting his heartbeats until he thought he'd go crazy. Keeping his hands off Madison seemed impossible at the moment.
"When I get on the motorcycle, put your foot on this peg and climb on behind me. You'll have to hike your dress up a little. Then wrap your arms around me and hold on." He waited until she eyed his motorcycle and nodded. "During the ride, if you need me to stop, pat my stomach three times. We'll go slow through town."
She gave him a thumb up and smiled. He climbed on and righted the bike, toeing up the kickstand. She followed him onto the bike like a woman curious for anything. Once she had her arms around him, he started the bike and pulled away from the curb.
He kept the speed at twenty-five miles an hour. The streets quiet, considering the late hour and everyone in town hung out at Silver Girls. He had the urge to keep riding and take the interstate out of town. He'd keep Madison to himself. Just him, his bike, his woman, and no rules.
The threat of losing his patch, his life, if his president found out he'd broken Red Light's rules chased him. He held out his arm, turned, and pulled in behind Rail Point Bar. The bar owned by his MC brother Merk's woman Desiree. Tonight, the new manager and two serving girls kept the bar open while Merk and Desiree spent the night at the bonfire at the Moroad Motel.
Madison wasn't ready yet to meet everyone associated with Moroad, and he needed a quiet place where they could relax and talk. He hoped to give her a taste of what life outside of Red Light would be like when she no longer worked in the bordello. Freedom, living life, good company, and no baggage or worry.
"Go ahead and climb off the same way you got on, sweetheart." He held his hand out to the side to help her keep her balance as she managed to pull down her skimpy dress.
She stood on the sidewalk, clutching the phone she held like a lifeline. He looped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her into his side. "It's a bar. It'll be slow and quiet in there tonight. Two good friends from Moroad own and run the place. You'll like it."
Madison wrapped her arm around his back. He gazed down at her and walked along the side of the building to the front door. Her eyes danced from him to the sign and back to him. He gave her a squeeze happy to see the excitement on her face behind the anxious pull of her brows.
Inside the bar, he lifted his chin at Claire, the server, and guided Madison to the table facing Main Street in front of the large glass windows. Madison handed him his coat and slid into the booth. He tossed his jacket on the other bench and sat beside Madison.
Claire hurried over and sat down opposite them. "Hey, Bear and Bear's lady. What can I get you?"
He had no idea what Madison liked to drink.
Madison tapped his thigh
under the table and slid her phone in front of him.
"I would do almost anything, except have sex with you, for a Bailey's with caramel over ice." She tapped her nails against the table and grinned.
"Beer and a Bailey's with caramel over ice." Bear reached under the table and held the hand on his leg. "Bring us whatever dessert Desiree is serving tonight, too."
"Right-o. I'll get on that and be right back." Claire scooted out of the booth, slapped Bear on the shoulder with her menu pad, and hustled to the counter.
Madison leaned forward, looking around curiously. He took in the wide eyes, the easy smile, and the way her legs moved under the table. He'd made the right decision on bringing her here where she could relax and forget about others judging her.
Soon, he'd be able to bring her to the motel and let her hang around the bonfire. She would see for herself that his lifestyle and hers were similar in more ways than she understood.
She pulled her hand away from his grasp and typed on the phone. "Who's that man in the picture near the bar?"
He craned his neck and spotted the photo. "That's Desiree's grandpa. He owned the place years ago, and when he died, Desiree kept it going. She turned the place from barely scraping by to a successful business. At least by Federal standards. It's not crowded tonight, but during the week, she has a full bar."
"I can't believe I'm here. It all feels like a dream and I've imagined you stepping into my life, under impossible odds, and making me happy to be out in the town doing something totally normal."
"You're not sleeping." He pressed his back into the seat as Claire swept in with their drinks and two slices of huckleberry pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the top. "Thanks."
"No problem. Yell if you want another drink." Claire walked away to wait on the other couple enjoying a quiet night at the bar.
Madison moved her phone toward him again. "Kiss me, and prove I'm awake."
His gut hardened in pleasure at the way she came out of her protective shell tonight and went after what she wanted. He turned his upper body, squeezed between the bench and table, hooked her neck, and brought her closer. Her breath fanned his lips, and he captured her mouth.