by Debra Kayn
She raised her brows wanting more information.
"Taking care of you, sweetheart." He lifted his beer, took a drink, and lowered the bottle to the table. "Full-time job."
He forgave her.
She smiled and reached for her hamburger. Tell the day she died; she 'd remember today. The day her life changed for the better. The day someone wanted to share his life with her.
The food hit her stomach. A flutter, not painful, almost pleasant, had her setting her burger back down on the plate. She had one topic to bring up with Bear and kept putting it off.
She wanted to have sex with him. The lustful craving to press herself against him, move with his body, grab the orgasm she hoped would finally come to her guilt-free and wonderful scared her to death.
The ramifications of making Bear believe she was feeling, enjoying, participating in sex left her weak and vulnerable. Would he think she treated him as another performance? A job?
Knowing Bear, he'd be able to tell, and he wouldn't be happy with anything less than her mind fully focused on him. From the start, he never pressured her physically, but he never relented on getting in her head and making sure she was with him.
It was that control over her emotions she wasn't sure she could hand over during an intimate moment.
"A few more bites." Bear slid her plate closer.
She took a bite of her burger, ate a few fries, wiped her hands on the napkin, and picked up the phone to talk. "You can have the rest of my food."
"Why?
She typed. "I'm too excited and nervous to eat."
"I get that you're excited." Bear wiped his mouth off with his napkin and tossed it on his empty plate. "But, nervous?"
She elbowed him, shaking her head. Then realized he teased her, and her head naturally went to his upper arm, and she leaned against him. There were many ways to bring up the subject of where they were going after they finished their late dinner. She couldn't think of a flirtatious way to ask him to come back to the inn with her or the shy way of suggesting they stay the night at the inn making him think it was his idea or the bossy way of ordering him to take her to bed.
"You know what I think is bothering you?" Bear lifted his arm she was leaning against and hooked her body, pulling her against him.
She lifted her head and placed her hand on his chest.
He inhaled deeply. "You want to know if I'm going to take you back to the inn, kiss you goodnight, and ride away with solid plans for us tomorrow."
She swallowed her guilt. No, her thoughts were deeper than a simple date. They'd already done dates and hiding their activities on the balcony numerous times over the last three months.
Bear kissed her forehead. "Here's the thing, sweetheart. I'm going to take you to the inn, and I'm going to stay with you. That means I'm going to sleep in your bed, hold you all night, and in the morning, we're going to wake up together."
She bit down on her lower lip. God, she hadn't typed a word, and he understood her.
"What we do between lying in bed together and waking up in the morning is up to you," whispered Bear.
She nodded, understanding if sex was going to happen, she'd need to tell him what she wanted. Her breath hitched in her throat realizing he'd let her lead the whole time. Besides breaking the rule of coming on her balcony at Red Light, he'd respected her every step of the way, even going as far as giving her time without any explanation.
She hadn't only fallen in love with him. He'd handed her love, shown her kindness, let her feel wonderful emotions, and watched her peel away the layers on her own until love pumped in her heart, bare and naked, for him.
She typed on the screen of her phone and showed him. "Let's go back to the inn."
He lowered his head, kissed her long and deep, and gazed into her eyes. "Tell me..."
She nodded.
"Who sent you flowers at the inn the other day?"
Madison's chest warmed and she typed on the phone. "Tiff. She sent them to congratulate me on my new job at Dr. Brandof's office. I'll be working in the office billing the insurance companies. I don't start until the lady who works there now has her baby and the job will only be for three months, until the regular office worker returns. But it's a good start for me, yes?"
Bear's chin dropped and he nodded. "Proud of you, sweetheart."
She squeezed his thigh. Every day she worried about failing, and yet grew more determined. She wanted to gain experience and figure out a way to work around her disability.
"Now that's settled...do you have everything settled with me that needs settling? We're good?"
She kissed him softly as her answer.
"Right. I'll take that." He scooted out of the booth.
She followed, putting her crossover purse over her shoulder, and together they walked out of the bar hand in hand. The quivers in her stomach at the progress they'd made tonight, the sex that would happen later, multiplied as she lifted her leg over the motorcycle and straddled the seat behind Bear. She wrapped her arms around him, barely able to hook her fingers over his solid body.
Riding behind him excited her. She trusted him with her life, riding a deathtrap, relying on him to keep her safe. And, she completely believed in him when he promised never to leave. She'd gave him so little, held back a ton, and he came into her life and stuck around.
He forced her to speak. He listened.
Bear stopped in the parking lot of the inn. She slid off the Harley and let him lead her to her room. Behind the closed door, she kicked off her shoes, put her purse on the coffee table, and sat on the couch, curling her feet underneath her.
Cuddling into the corner of the sofa, she enjoyed watching Bear stroll through the room, peeking in the bedroom, the bathroom, and looking out the window blindly into the night. The masculine way he took in his surroundings, taking note of every minuscule detail and grunted instead of laughing when he found something entertaining like her bra she'd left hanging over the wooden chair in the corner.
She hoped having him in the same room would never get old.
He glanced over at her. She crooked her finger.
Bear stepped over and sat beside her, pulling her half over on top of his lap. "It's quiet here."
She leaned forward, grabbed her purse off the coffee table, and dug out her phone to talk with him. "It's loud at the motel where you live?"
"Hell, yeah." He slouched down and put his boots on the table. "People coming in and out at all hours, nightly parties, and the bikes. You haven't heard anything until you hear forty-some Harleys all fire up at once."
She slipped her hand under his beard and laid her hand on his chest. His heart beat steady under her palm.
He lifted his head off the back of the couch. "Why do you always put your hand there?"
She jerked back and shrugged.
He squeezed her thigh. "Tell me."
A lie would save the night. She could tell him...
She inhaled deeply, forgetting that idea. Telling him the truth would remind him of her working for the Network, about the other men, and the things she'd done.
"Madison?"
She typed on her phone. If she planned to move forward, he had to know everything about her.
"When I was with..." She glanced at him, caught him reading as she tapped, and kissed him. "When I worked, there's very little touching allowed, besides the obvious. My upper body, my breasts, were never in contact with men's chests or their hands. The appointments are fast. There's only time to get business done."
Bear cleared his throat. "That doesn't explain why—"
She held up her finger to stop him and went back to typing. "I feel close to you when I can feel the rise and fall of your chest, your heartbeat. To me, and I know it sounds ridiculous, but touching you on your chest is the closest I've felt to someone I care about. It's very intimate."
"Sweetheart," murmured Bear.
Before she chickened out, she dug into her purse and removed the yellow envelope she'd picked up
from Doctor Brandof's office yesterday. Her heart raced. She'd done everything possible to protect herself for years. Going to the extreme to protect her heart, her mind, her body.
She gave Bear the envelope and waited. Her spot on the couch a roller coaster, ready to unseat her.
Bear frowned, sliding his finger under the flap and pulled out the folded white paper. Blood roared in her ears, and she swallowed hard.
The paper crinkled in the quiet of the room as Bear unfolded the sheet and held it pinched between his strong, broad fingers. Unable to sit still any longer, she shifted to stand up, and Bear grabbed her wrist, holding her down on the couch.
"Stay." He continued reading and when he finished he set the paper on the coffee table.
All of her tests Doctor Brandof took came back negative. To make sure she covered everything, she'd requested every imaginable health test she could take to make sure she came to Bear healthy, disease free, and able to have children.
"So...?" Bear's face broke out into a grin.
She leaned over and captured his lips, kissing him slow and long. Then she slipped her fingers between his and led him to the bedroom.
Chapter Thirty Four
In the bedroom, Bear's arm around Madison's waist tightened, and the growly tone shook with impatience and lack of control when he said, "Sweetheart?"
Madison pressed against him, knowing what he asked, what he needed, what he wanted. She nodded, stroking his whiskered face.
"You're sure?"
She pressed even closer and nodded, watching him for any sign she read the situation wrong. The hardness of his cock pressed against her stomach left her with shallow breaths.
She wasn't wrong. Bear wanted to have sex.
"All right," he mumbled, his hand going lower cupping her ass. "I can see inside your head, sweetheart, and this isn't going to be some fuck session. Waited too long, dreamed of nothing else, but having you in my bed—your bed will do for now."
She tilted her head, curious to know what he fantasized about and how he enjoyed sex.
His body stilled. She shook her head and ran her hands up his chest. Whatever he thought, she needed him to stop. It was only him.
"You don't get it," he whispered.
She worked her lips in worry.
"We're not having sex." His hands slipped off her and reappeared between them where he worked on the button of her jeans. "Gonna show you what making love is all about."
She wiggled her hips, helping him take off her jeans and panties. His head ducked, and he reached down her thighs and tugged the material off. She stepped out of the leg of her pants and kicked the offending material to the side.
He straightened and slipped his hands under her shirt and maneuvered her arms through the holes and pulled the Tee over her head. Her chest warmed under his gaze.
"Gonna show you slow." He moistened his lips gazing at her breasts popping over the top of her black bra.
She reached behind her, and he stopped her, removing her hands. He unclasped the two hooks at the back. She shivered as the air in the room hit her sensitive nipples.
"I'll show you love," said Bear, inhaling deeply.
She reached out and fingered the edges of his vest and waited for him to give her permission and found him tense, hard, and almost shaking trying to remain in control.
He'd undressed her. It was only fair he let her have a chance to take everything off him and enjoy seeing his body for the first time the same way he had hers.
"Don't ever hesitate." He leaned forward, kissed her, and finished talking against her lips. "I'm yours. You want my clothes off, take them off."
She quivered, shocking her at how violently her body responded as if she had no control over her runaway emotions.
Bear talked.
She melted.
Kissing him in reply, she pushed his jean vest off his shoulders and took it from him. She folded it in half lengthwise and walked over and laid it on the dresser. The patches meant nothing to her, but he wore it every day, and she'd respect his commitment to his club.
Returning to him, she inhaled deeply and moved to his shirt, lifting it to his armpits. He reached behind his head, grabbed the neckline, and pulled his shirt off without hesitation. She blinked up at him fascinated. Men and women both wore T-shirts, and yet the removal was done differently. She wondered what else she missed out on learning about the opposite sex as she provided sex to customers.
"Slow isn't working," murmured Bear, undoing his belt.
She wanted to argue the point. Slow worked well. She enjoyed discovering him inch by inch. Her body, already lax and seeking his heat, agreed with her.
His thick, rough fingers pinched the tab on his zipper. She stepped closer as he groaned and grabbed his cock out of his boxers and set it free. Her gaze snapped up to his eyes, and she raised her brows, showing him her hand and pointing at his cock.
"Give me a second." He bent at the waist, unlaced his boots, toeing each one off, and kicking off his jeans and boxers.
He dug three condoms from his wallet and tossed them on the bed. She followed the path of the falling foil packages and hyperventilated before returning her attention to Bear, needing his air.
He stood in front of her unabashed, almost arrogant and proud. She laid her hand on her chest to calm her racing heart. He was...big.
His broad arms bowed down to his sides from his muscular biceps. His solid chest, bigger and more solid than she'd imagined with his shirt on. She traced the remembrance tattoo from his left shoulder down over his heart.
He smoothed the hair from her face. "My parents."
She nodded, gazing down to his stomach and smiled. A good man, he had a stomach that made her work at getting a good solid hug around him. A good man who enjoyed an honest meal. A good man who made her safe and secure in his arms.
His cock pulsed and her gaze traveled lower. Instead of touching him, she stepped toe to toe with him and pressed her body against him. His heat consumed her, and she linked her hands with his.
Her breasts throbbed, squished against his lower chest. She trembled, weakened at the overpowering draw of standing in front of him, thigh to thigh, chest to breasts, and holding hands.
Bear pressed his cock against her, and he let go of one of her hands and turned to pull the covers down on the bed. Her vision blurred, and she blinked. There was no throw rug to lay on top of a made bed. He planned to take her where she slept, where she relaxed, where she escaped.
Somehow, going to bed with Bear was the most romantic thing she'd ever experienced.
He lifted her up and laid her down on the sheet and joined her. She rolled to her side and kissed him, loving the big, heavy, warm body next to hers.
He tasted her, using his tongue, before pulling his mouth away and kissing her neck. "Gonna treat you special every night."
She sank her fingers into his hair, knowing she needed her phone to respond and unwilling to leave the cocoon he'd created. She closed her eyes and arched her neck to give him more room. His warm mouth on her skin left goosebumps on her arms.
He moved his hands down her side, a light touch because of his size came across firm and heated. Or, his touch made her hot, she could no longer tell who was creating the warmth.
As his touch grew broader and circled her hip, his lips slid to her earlobe, and he whispered, "Put your leg over mine if it's okay to touch you."
She bent her knee and placed her inner thigh over his hip. She trembled as his mouth curved into a smile against the sensitive skin under her ear. His mouth came back to her with more slow, lazy kisses. Encouraged, she swept her tongue against his, sucking gently,
He groaned into her mouth. The vibration tickled her throat, and she pressed her hips forward and met his fingers. Her sex, heavy and wet, pulsated.
He pulled his head back. "More?"
She nodded, burying her face in the crook of his neck, rubbing her cheek against his whiskers, and making sure her breasts never left his che
st.
The tender strokes along her wetness took up a sweet torturous rhythm. She slid her hand down his side and gripped his hip, pulling him impossibly closer. Her need to have every inch of him in her body became more demanding.
Then his hand between her legs left, and he encircled her wrist, sliding her hand down between them. His crisp hair tickled the back of her hand, and she found his thick cock and wrapped her fingers around his width, not quite touching the tip of her thumb to her middle finger.
He pulsed and grew harder in her grasp. God, she liked that. She held his pleasure. She licked the side of his neck, then sucked on his skin giving her hand a squeeze.
Bear's hips slowly rolled forward and back as he returned his hand to between her legs and circled her clit with his finger. She slid her thumb around the head of his cock, fascinated at the silky smooth skin on a rough man.
"Want to taste you, sweetheart." Bear raised his head. "I do anything you don't want, pull my hair or slap me, okay?"
She melted more.
His thoughtfulness on her comfort, his patience, his need to know she remained okay through every step meant everything. She rolled onto her back.
He moved down, not fast, but slow, stopping at her breasts to pay attention to each nipple, bringing them to a hard, pleasurable peak. But it was his hand, lifting her leg and bending her knee to where she planted her feet flat on the bed that got her attention.
Opened to him in every way, she held her breath.
Bear positioned himself between her legs and kissed the sensitive skin on her inner thigh. Her muscles relaxed, her knees widened, and she exhaled in pleasure.
Then his tongue was on her pussy. His lips. His mouth. His whiskers.
Oh. God.
She couldn't...she couldn't...
Her fingers curled into the sheet, and her hips moved with his mouth.
Bear slid his hands underneath her, cupping her bottom, pulling her up toward him. Tremors circled in her lower stomach, spreading to her thighs, and going down to make her toes curl. Her breasts swelled. She failed at remaining still. Caught in a whirlwind of intimate pleasure so foreign to her, she heard herself cry out in her head.