by Cindy Dees
And as abruptly as it had started, the storm was over. His body stilled, and he stared down at her, braced with his hands on either side of her head, his arms trembling a little.
He whispered, “What are you doing to me?”
Adding real emotion to an act he had managed to detach from his feelings in the past? Of course, she knew better than to say that aloud. He wasn’t ready to hear the truth just yet. Better that he figure it out for himself.
He stepped back from her, and she sat up on the edge of the table, a little wobbly, the remnants of her silk camisole bedraggled at her sides.
“Sorry if the table was too hard,” he said dismissively.
“The table’s fine,” she said lightly. “Next time we do it on the table, though, could you flip me over the other way?”
His startled gaze snapped to hers. “Like on your stomach?”
She turned and half leaned over the table, testing it with her palms. “Yes. I think I’d like that. Which would be better—for me to support myself with my hands or to lie flat?”
The expression in his eyes was floored. Was that supposed to have driven her away from him? Passionate sex? Mind-blowing pleasure? A moment of intimacy he could not deny, no matter how unwilling he was to admit it had happened? She snorted at the notion. She had his number now. And she wasn’t going anywhere.
Across the room, his leather computer bag dinged. He’d had it in his car and carried it into the hotel with them earlier. Curious, she watched as he pulled his laptop out and opened it.
“Sonofabitch,” he breathed.
“What is it?”
“A Skype call. From my father.”
“What does he want?” she asked, curious.
“More to the point, how in the hell does he have my number?” Alex demanded sharply.
“He does work for the FSB. Last time I checked, they’re a reasonably competent bunch with a fair number of resources for finding out something like that.”
He just rolled his eyes at her.
“You gonna take the call?” she asked.
He stared at the screen for several long seconds before saying slowly, “Yes, I think I will.”
She was relieved. She’d been raised on the theory that it was always better to know what your enemy was up to than to be in the dark about his actions.
Alex typed in a password and initiated the call while she dived for the bathroom and clothes.
Peter Koronov said something in Russian, and Alex replied in English, “I’m surprised, too. What do you want, Peter?”
He didn’t call his father “Father”? Ouch.
Koronov answered, in accent-free, American English, “I was just checking to be sure that you and your little family made it home safely.”
Alex answered drily, “You know by now that they are not my family, but rather a coworker and an orphaned infant. And as you can see, I am perfectly fine. If that’s all you wanted, I’ll sign off—”
“Alexei,” his father said sharply.
Katie grinned as she zipped up her jeans. So. That was where Alex had learned that particular tone of voice. She slipped into the main room, being sure to stay out of the laptop camera’s line of sight.
Koronov was speaking again. “I did you a favor and sent you that airplane. Now I need a favor from you in return. A small one that breaks no laws.”
Alex leaned back from the screen. “How small?” he asked blandly.
She didn’t have to see Alex’s face to know the dark, angry predator would be flashing in his gaze. She could feel the danger rolling off him all the way over there.
“I need some information. A list of all the places your employer has medical teams deployed.”
Her jaw sagged. Peter Koronov wanted Alex to spy on Doctors Unlimited? Why? What did it mean about D.U. that the FSB was poking around it?
Alex asked, “Tell me something first. What do you know about a pair of SUVs that engaged me earlier today?”
God, she wished she could see Koronov’s face from there. But it was best that he not know Alex’s “little family” was more than just a coworker and a random kid.
Koronov’s voice was even, calm, when he replied, “Nothing. Do you need me to look into it?”
Alex frowned faintly. Thoughtfully. He believed Peter? Then who was that in those SUVs? She’d privately assumed they were Russian intelligence. “A list of places D.U. has teams? That’s all?”
Alex wasn’t seriously considering getting Peter that list, was he?
“Names would be helpful, as well. Our government wouldn’t want to accidentally interfere with their work for lack of recognizing them. Now, would it?”
“No. Of course not,” Alex answered deadpan.
“How soon can you have it?”
“And then we’re even?” Alex responded, ignoring the question.
“Is there any such thing?” Peter asked wryly.
Alex ignored that, too. “I’ll contact you when I have it.”
“Good boy.” If she wasn’t mistaken, Peter sounded faintly surprised. He bloody well should be. His son had just agreed to freaking spy on an American charity for him!
She waited impatiently for the call to disconnect. Alex had barely closed his laptop when she burst out, “What in the hell are you doing? Aren’t you the one who’s all hot and bothered not to get trapped? It sounds to me like you just ran headlong into your father’s totally obvious trap!”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
HIS HEART BROKE a little. There it was. The slip from her that he’d been waiting for. She’d leaped too fast to D.U.’s defense when he’d pretended that he would help his father spy on the organization. Now he knew the play. The CIA had some sort of connection to the charity group and would run him as a spy from behind the cover of the aid organization.
Alex thought quickly. His best bet now was to turn her. Use her to his own ends. He stood up casually and moved over to his clothes strewn on the floor. Bent down and picked up his pants. Pulled them on. Zipped them. Reached for his shirt. Draped it across the back of a chair. Smoothed the fine cotton a little. He wasn’t a professional actor, but a stellar performance was called for now.
“Well?” Katie demanded angrily.
He looked up at her grimly. “I grew up with that man. I know when not to cross him. He opened the call by referring to you and Dawn. Don’t you see? He was threatening the two of you. I get him his list, or he comes after the two of you.”
Katie’s outrage deflated like a balloon with the air let out of it fast. “But, Alex, it’s treason to spy.”
“It’s not treason to lift information from a private company. Doctors Unlimited is not a government-sponsored organization.”
“It’s still theft.”
“Hey, if the Russians merely want the information so they can stay out of our people’s hair, where’s the harm in that?”
“Seriously?” Katie’s outrage was back, and she was magnificent in her fury. Excellent. He was counting on her blind patriotism to drive her response to him.
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I just slip into André Fortinay’s office, copy the master deployment list off his computer and forward it to my father. No harm, no foul. It doesn’t hurt anybody at D.U. My father gets off my case for a while. And most importantly, you and Dawn are left alone.”
The ends-justifies-the-means argument appeared to give Katie pause. But just for a moment. “It’s wrong,” she said forcefully.
“Information like this has no cash value. I wouldn’t even be charged with theft. Industrial espionage involves proprietary information that’s vital to a moneymaking process or venture.”
“You could still be charged with breaking and entering.”
“I work there and have legal access to the offices. All I have to do is walk in. No breaking required to enter, babe.”
“I cannot believe you’re being so cavalier about this! I thought better of you.”
Okay, that stung. But this was necessary. He
had to goad her to action. Mentally, he cursed his father for pushing him into this corner. He’d thought there for a while that he was finally out from under his father’s iron fist. Peter had mostly left him alone since he got out of prison, and he’d been praying Daddy dearest had gotten the memo when his son chose to go to jail rather than work for him. But no. The bastard was back, full-force, jerking him around and screwing up everything good in his life. Just like he always had.
A wave of despair washed over Alex, so deep and dark he couldn’t breathe beneath its weight. This must be what drowning was like. It was a weak emotion he refused to give in to, but damn. Would the man never leave him alone? Would he never get a shot at happiness for himself?
The emotional connection Katie was offering him tempted him like no other vice he’d ever been exposed to. He could get addicted to her so easily. A little more time. A little more bonding—over Dawn, over their shared work—the two of them could have had it all. And then along came Peter, he thought bitterly. Now all that was left for him to do was finish destroying what Peter had just told him in no uncertain terms to wreck or else be forever vulnerable to his father’s manipulations. He mentally cursed his father to hell and back.
Alex looked over at Katie coldly. “I already told you I’m no saint. This is the practical reality of my life. I walk a tightrope between men like your uncle and men like my father. It’s not pretty, but it’s how I stay alive. Deal with it or get out of my way.”
Odd that it actually hurt to say those words. He examined the pain from any number of angles. Intriguing. Disturbing. Just how far gone was his heart to her? To the concept of a normal life that included family? And that love thing?
He tried to imagine never seeing Dawn again and thanked his lucky stars he’d already nailed down shared guardianship of the infant. Katie couldn’t legally prevent him from seeing Dawn and being part of her life as she grew up. And if he remained part of Dawn’s life, he would, perforce, remain part of Katie’s. No matter how angry she was with him now, he could win her back. He always got his way in the end. Superior intellect, patience and cunning always prevailed, after all.
“If dealing and getting out of your way are my only choices,” Katie declared, “I’m out.”
“What?” he blurted in spite of his resolve to do this thing.
“I’m out. I thought I was getting through to you. Making a difference. That we had something special going. But I don’t sleep with criminals.”
“Getting the list is not criminal!”
“Maybe. But it’s not right.”
She was absolutely correct. But he wasn’t about to tell her that. She was almost there. Almost ready to spite him. He would never, ever forgive his father for making him do this. Grimly, he pounded in the final nail into his own coffin. He steeled himself and managed a casual shrug. “Fine. If that’s how you feel—get out.”
She stared at him for a long minute. Long enough for her rage to melt. Long enough for her eyes to fill with tears. Long enough for him to call himself every foul name he could think of for doing this to her. But what choice did he have? He had to stay on the tightrope. And he had to get her to step off it. He had no net to catch either of them.
* * *
KATIE PICKED UP her purse and walked out of their hotel room. And he didn’t stop her. She ignored the smirk a bellboy threw her as she crossed the lobby. The kid no doubt thought she was a hooker done with a job. Screw him. Her heart had just broken in a million sharp-edged pieces. Couldn’t the kid see her bleeding out from the cuts?
She could not believe Alex would steal the list of names and places for his father. He hated Peter! She’d stormed out of the hotel and asked the doorman to hail her a cab before it occurred to her that family relationships weren’t necessarily simple things. It was entirely possible that, as much as Alex claimed to hate his father, he also craved his father’s approval. Maybe even his father’s love.
She had, in fact, established tonight that Alex did appreciate and want love in spite of his big words to the contrary. Maybe he wanted his father to love him, too—
Dammit, she was not going to make excuses for Alex! It was wrong to steal that list, and that was all there was to it. But Lord, it hurt to realize that she hadn’t gotten through to him.
Her mother had always said it was folly to try to change a man, but Katie had really thought she could save Alex from the darkness within himself. He’d seemed to want her to save him at some fundamental level of his being. How could she have read him so very wrong? It shook her confidence in her ability to understand people. Heck, it shook her confidence in people. She’d been so sure, deep down in her heart, that Alex was a good man. Until this abrupt and complete about-face from him proved her so terribly wrong.
It hurt now, but she suspected it would hurt more and for a very long time before she got over him. If she ever got over him. How could she ever look at Dawn and not see him? Her arms ached to hold the baby. Her baby.
She looked at her watch. It was after 10:00 p.m. Too late to visit the convent, darn it. But there was one other thing she could take care of tonight. Now, while she was still angry and the hurt hadn’t taken over her soul. She had to do it before her resolve faltered.
She scrolled through her cell phone and found André Fortinay’s emergency cell phone number. All D.U.’s field staff had the number.
He answered right away. “’Allo?” The faint French accent was noticeable in his voice tonight.
“André? I’m sorry to bother you this late. It’s Katie McCloud. We have a problem....”
* * *
ALEX SANK INTO the armchair as the door shut behind Katie. He felt...empty. When would he ever learn? It was always this way when he was a kid. If he found something to love—a teddy bear or a stray cat or even a friend from school—his father tore it away from him. Told him to be tough. To have no feelings. Discipline his mind. How was the bastard still doing it to him?
No, wait. He was doing it to himself now. Alex swore violently as he grabbed a little bottle of whiskey out of the refrigerator and downed it in a single gulp. These minibottles weren’t going to cut it. He called downstairs and had the bar send up a fifth of their best, with a fat tip if it could be there in five minutes or less.
The bottle was delivered and he took a healthy gulp. Better. He was getting plastered off his ass and praying oblivion lay in wait at the bottom of this bottle.
* * *
KATIE SAT IN a chair in the motel room she’d hastily found and checked into across town, as far from Alex as the Metro would take her. She stared at the gray carpet, her mind blank. She’d done it. She’d betrayed Alex. Gone behind his back and warned André Fortinay that Alex was planning to steal his master list of staff and their postings abroad.
The Frenchman’s reaction had been odd. He’d seemed almost amused that Alex had told her what he planned to do. Of course, he’d been grateful for the heads-up, but he hadn’t been nearly as alarmed at the moral breakdown in one of his doctors as she would have expected. He’d questioned her in some detail regarding Peter’s phone call, what Alex had said afterward about the call and his decision to do what his father asked. Come to think of it, that had been about the time André started to chuckle.
There was nothing funny about this situation! It sucked. She’d just lost a man she’d been falling for hard. Lost him to his grasping father and to the dark urgings of his wounded soul. How in the hell was she supposed to compete with those? Apparently, the answer was that she couldn’t win. Blood ran deep in families. Of all people, she knew that.
She sat there for a long time before finally crawling into bed and passing out.
Her cell phone’s loud ring yanked her out of a dark dream sometime the next morning. She dove for the phone, heart racing. Let it be Alex. Let it be Alex.
Private caller.
She slammed the phone to her ear. “Alex?”
“Hi, honey. It’s Mom. And who’s this Alex fellow you’re so breathl
essly eager to talk to?”
Katie’s heart dropped to her feet, and she sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. “Hi, Mom.” She glanced at her bedside clock. Not even 8:00 a.m. yet.” Ugh. “Why are you calling me so early?”
“Uncle Charlie called. Imagine my surprise when I found out you were back home and didn’t give me a call to let me know you’re safe.”
“I’m sorry. It’s been really crazy since I got back. I was going to call you, but I haven’t had time.”
“Not one single minute to let me know you’re okay? I was worried about you, sweetie.”
Katie scowled. “You don’t make the boys call you every time they get back from a mission. And don’t tell me they’re boys and can take care of themselves, whereas I’m a weak, silly girl who can’t do anything for herself.”
Her mother chuckled. “That’s what your father would say, honey. Not me. I raised you to be a strong, independent woman. And I do make your brothers call me whenever they get home. They’re just embarrassed to admit it.”
Katie smiled reluctantly. Her mother was barely five foot three and could kick butts and take names if her big, bad sons didn’t do as she asked of them.
“Why are you calling me so early, Mom?”
“Mike’s home. Apparently, he got hurt on his last trip and he’s in a hospital in Washington, D.C. Charlie said you’re in the Washington area, and I thought you might check in on your big brother for me. Your dad and I are driving down today, but in the meantime, Mike might like to see a familiar face.”
“What hospital is he in?”
“Walter Reed facility in Bethesda. Do you know it?”
“Heard of it. I’ll figure out where it is and go see what Mikey’s got himself into now.”
“Thanks, sweetie. How about Dad and I meet you at the hospital this afternoon? We can do dinner and you can tell us all about your trip to that something-stan place.”
“That would be great.”
She tried to go back to sleep, but she was wide-awake after the call. She gave up and got out of bed, showered and dressed. The motel front desk helped her find a car rental place, and an hour later, she was headed north to Chevy Chase and Dawn.