by Jaime Reed
She leapt back in surprise. “What?”
“I need a buffer and witness to any possible homicide. My cell phone has a GPS, so in case we split up, at least someone can find my body.”
“What if he takes the phone?”
I rushed to Mom’s nightstand, opened the drawer, and pulled out the razor she kept under her Bible. “Then I’ll have to cut him.”
“You can’t take that into the park.”
“I can put it in my shoe.”
Mia sighed. “In that case, Dougie’s got some brass knuckles.”
I scoffed. “Too bad he can’t hit worth a damn.”
During my scavenger hunt for the perfect ensemble, Mia caught me up on the fallout at Virginia Beach. Dougie had gotten there and seen Mia hugging Garrett Davenport. Though Mia insisted that the hug was friendly, and expressed no romantic interest in the strapping linebacker, that hadn’t stopped Dougie from going completely bat shit. The odds would have been in Dougie’s favor were it not for half the football team voicing their concern for their injured comrade. For some reason, Mia found jealous rage and a head contusion sexy, and she and Dougie were back together.
“Leave my man alone. He was just defending my virtue.” Mia propped her hands on her hips.
“You might need to upgrade your security,” I shot back. “So are you coming with me, or not?”
“Yeah. I gotta stop by the house first and grab my season pass. I’ll meet up with you later.”
“Where?” I asked.
“In front of the Hall of Feasts. If I leave now, I should get there at two. Can you hold out for an hour?”
“I think I’ll be fine. I just need some backup, just in case. I don’t think he’s stupid enough to do anything in public. Plus, Mom taught me how to jump out of a moving car.”
“Tuck and roll.” Mia smiled.
“That’s what’s up.” I nodded and walked with her to the door.
Cruising into the Buncha Books parking lot, I found Caleb standing by his Jeep, eating an éclair.
I pulled into a vacant spot three lanes down then climbed out. Taking my time, I gave him a detailed perusal. He looked pretty good in civilian gear: a plain white shirt, tan cargo shorts, and sneakers. The heat was a likely motive for his much-needed man-scaping. He almost looked like a kid without that Unabomber facial hair, which provided an unobstructed view to his angular jaw and full, bow-shaped mouth.
Once he spotted me, he pulled the dark shades to the top of his head. His eyes locked on mine for a moment before examining his watch. “Twelve-eighteen.”
“You didn’t expect me to come right on the dot, did you?”
Caleb smiled and looked to his feet. “Would you be mad if I said yes?”
I nodded.
“Then yes. I don’t know, I’m just—”
“Used to women dropping everything and running to lick your boots,” I interrupted.
“No. Not my boots.” He sucked the icing off his fingers.
Tossing him a murderous glare, I asked, “Are you gonna tell me about the girl?”
“You’re quite curious about her. Are you sure you two don’t have a thing?”
“No, I just don’t like suspense. Spill it, Cake Boy.”
He leaned against the back of his Jeep, engaged in a quiet moment of reflection. I didn’t know what was worse: watching him inhale his high-calorie stimulant or that he hadn’t offered me any.
Taking his sweet time, he said, “I kissed her.”
I waited for the punch line.
“That’s it.” He tossed the wrapper in the backseat.
“That’s it? I waited a whole day for that?”
With a sly curl to his lips, he placed the shades back over his eyes. “Didn’t know I had you on pins and needles like that. Besides, you wouldn’t have joined me otherwise.”
I threw my hands in the air. “You’re such—”
“A great kisser?”
“A freak!” I yelled.
Dangling keys in his hand, Caleb circled his Jeep to open the passenger door for me. “Yet, you’re still here. Come on, I wanna get on Poseidon’s Wave first. I heard it was cool.”
There had to be more to it than that. Infuriating as he was, I wasn’t immune to his excitement, like a little kid at recess. The boy was plain goofy—probably not a physical threat. I was more concerned with internal injury, the kind that could penetrate through Kevlar and hurt worse than any bullet. In light of all this, he made the thrill of escape contagious, and I wanted the adventure.
After climbing in, I waited for him to start the ignition before I asked, “Are you a drug dealer?”
He paused. “Why? Are you wearing a wire?”
“No. Did you give her something laced? Or did she have an allergic reaction?”
“Sam, I didn’t give her drugs. I was at the magazine aisle, she saw me, and we started talking—”
“About?” I cut in.
He stole a quick glimpse before he pulled out of the lot. “Grown-up stuff—not suitable for your young ears.”
“You’re only two years older than me. Now spill it.”
He didn’t answer right away; in fact, he didn’t speak at all. Perhaps he was thinking of a good lie. If so, my BS meter had a hair trigger, and I would catch the first crack in his story. When we reached the interstate, he spoke up.
“She was flirting and touching me. One thing led to another, and well ...”
I sucked my teeth in disgust. “I hate when people say that. It’s such a cop-out. People are fully aware of their actions.”
He shook his head. “Not with me.”
I cut my eyes at him. “Dude, really, how can you and your ego fit in this car?”
“I’m just being honest. Females are drawn to me. It’s beyond my control.”
I pointed to my chest. “Not this female.”
“You’re different.”
“Different how?” I asked.
“You’re not open.”
Leaning away from him, I stared him up and down. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just what I said. You’re too guarded and cynical to let anything into your world.”
“What’s that got to do with a woman suffering cardiac arrest in her car?”
He combed his fingers through his hair, which the wind pushed back in his face. “Look, would you just relax and enjoy the day? It’s my day off, and I want to absorb the oncoming adrenaline rush. Don’t you ever have fun?”
“Not with potential killers,” I mumbled.
“I haven’t killed anyone.”
“Yet. And I intend to keep it that way.”
He leered at me through the shades. “You really think I would hurt you?”
“I wanna believe you won’t, which is why I agreed to come. As much as it pains me to admit, you’ve sparked my interest.”
He chortled. “The kiss that good?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the window. “That’s it. I’m done talking.”
6
A side from the outlet stores, Europia Park was every kid’s first job in Williamsburg.
However, no one else in their right mind would want to deal with that amount of people, not for minimum wage. Europia Park’s theme mimicked all the major countries in Europe: France, England, Italy, Scotland, Germany, Ireland, you name it. That fact left tourists asking the question, “Why are so many Mexicans and Asians working here?”
Corporate America wanted to market Europe with family-friendly clichés with all the comforts of home. They didn’t anticipate the language barrier with the imported employees. Good luck asking directions in this place. If visitors couldn’t read the map, they’d be so screwed! So it made sense that Caleb brought me along as a tour guide. I could navigate through the park blindfolded. Regardless of how many times I came here, I still found the scenery breathtaking.
Surviving twenty minutes of parking-spot hunting and a perilous trolley ride, Caleb and I strolled down the flowe
red path through the entrance. The first stop in our continental tour was ye olde England. Though he mentioned seeing the real thing before, he stood in awe at the medieval model of Big Ben near the entrance.
I’ve had my paranoid moments, that eerie suspicion of being watched, but the feeling intensified while in Caleb’s company. Dozens of female eyes followed him through the park, where I tried to look everywhere but in his direction. When the fourth chick “accidentally” bumped into Caleb, I tried to ditch him, but he caught me before I could escape. For a ladies’ man, he went out of his way to avoid his admirers, and shield me in case a riot broke out.
We wandered through France, where singers preformed in the street with camisoles and berets. Caleb’s nose led him to the ice cream parlor by the portrait stand. This was his second stop within thirty minutes, and his appetite only seemed to get stronger.
While waiting for Caleb, I smiled at the woman in a revealing peasant dress operating the tavern-style lemonade stand. Her long blond hair fell over her shoulder in two long braids. She leaned her elbow on the counter, sweaty and extremely bored by her conversation with a customer. The man carried a drink in each hand and stood in the process of ordering another to keep her interest.
Once tired of the stall tactic, he took the plunge. “So, I was wondering what are you doing—”
“No,” she snapped.
He tried again. “Well, how about—”
“No.”
“Can I at least get your—”
“No.”
“Fine!” The man skulked away with his head low and his dignity crumbling in his hands.
Laughing, I went to the booth. “What’s up, Poland?”
Nadine’s emerald eyes lit up, and that was as close to a smile that she would ever reach. “Sam! Hello! What brings you to ninth ring of hell?”
I summed up my crisis in one word. “Caleb.”
Nadine leaned back, blown away by this news. “Oh! He’s finally using those tickets I gave him?”
“The tickets were collecting dust while he waited for you to take a day off. How can you work so much? Honestly, when do you sleep?” I asked.
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead. For now, I have rent and student loans. I’m still young with energy to burn.”
Trust Nadine to make me look like a slacker on my day off.
“So, you’re here with Caleb, hmm?” She leveled me with her eyes and twirled her braid. A bad idea since that one gesture brought three old dudes to her booth. Before they could speak, she yelled, “If you don’t buy anything, piss off!” which succeeded in scaring the men away. Leaning over the counter, she drew closer. “So, are you two on a date?”
“No.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You answer awfully quick.”
“It was a quick question. I’m not interested in Caleb like that. I just wanna know what he’s about. You know he’s weird. Doesn’t it bother you that he has women falling all over him?”
Nadine simply stared. “You’re talking to me here.”
I gave Nadine a good look from head to toe. “Well, yeah, you got guys all over you, but at least you’re hot. Have you looked at Caleb? I mean, really looked? Dude has no swag and his hygiene is suspect.”
Nadine shifted her lips from side to side in debate. “He’s cute in scruffy, indie kid way. He has good taste in books. I just finished first chapter of book he recommended, and I had to tear myself away.”
“You’re missing the point. He’s weird.”
“You just want him to be weird so you cannot like him. He has bad moments and can be stubborn, but he’s a good guy, Sam. I should know.”
“Oh yeah? Aren’t you two like ‘frenemies’ or something?” I asked coolly, but secretly anticipated her answer. Nadine and I talked about everything, but the subject of Caleb Baker came with a warning label and a combination lock.
If the question shocked her, she hid that fact from me. “In a way,” she replied. “We are just friends who look out for one another, whenever he lets me.”
“I think it’s the women who need the looking out,” I said dubiously.
Disappointed, she fell back behind the booth. “Thou doth protesteth too much.”
Getting into character, I replied, “I fear not enough, lest haste awaken calamity from its rest.”
She stared at me and shook her head in awe. “You are so strange, Sam, yet you pick fun at my poetry.”
“So does that mean you won’t hang with us after work? It’ll be fun.”
Before she could answer, the man of the hour approached the booth, holding a small mountain of frozen custard. On sight of Nadine, he tipped his head. “Nadine.”
A chilly, impersonal welcome if I ever heard one, a mere acknowledgement of one’s existence.
Returning the greeting with equal apathy, Nadine assessed his new grooming habits with heavy scrutiny.
Oh yeah, they were so doing each other. Probably one of those New Age European “arrangements.” But if she wanted to keep it on the DL, then why did I care?
No really, why did I care?
I stared at the ice cream dripping down Caleb’s fingers and cringed. “You’re an insulin shot waiting to happen—you know that, right?”
“Does my sweet tooth make you uncomfortable?” He asked the question with such earnest curiosity, it caught me off guard.
“No. I—I just worry about your blood sugar. I’m surprised your teeth haven’t fallen out of your head yet.”
He rolled his eyes. “Thanks, mom, but this dessert will tide me over until supper’s ready.”
I heard Nadine snort behind me.
“Fine, but when you pass out from sugar shock, don’t expect me to help you.”
“Good to know who to rely on in a jam.” Caleb strolled away, but stopped when I didn’t follow. “You ready to go?”
I moved to join him as Nadine’s taunt buzzed around my ears. “You like him. Admission is first step to recovery.”
By the time Caleb and I finally made it to Germany, I was an hour late for my rendezvous point with Mia. I could tell Caleb was annoyed with the delay and wondered why I was stalling. He was eager to get on the rides, but I needed to sit down. I took a seat on a bench near the Hall of Feasts. Laughter, polka music, and profuse whiffs of beer bumbled in the air. I scanned the immediate area and found no sign of her. I decided on waiting another five minutes before calling her cell.
Caleb stared down at me, rocking on the balls of his feet. The afternoon sun hit his back, shooting gold light through his brown hair.
Wiping the sweat from my temple, I broke the ice. “We should talk about that kiss.”
“I thought it was self-explanatory.”
Shielding my eyes, I looked up at him. “No. Why did you kiss me?”
“Because I wanted to. I wanted to see what would happen.” Though the reply was simple, something in his expression told me otherwise.
“What exactly did happen?” I asked.
“You saw me.” The rocking stopped as he met my gaze. Flecks of purple light peeked from under his lashes. “The real me.”
Before I could say anything else, he searched around, sniffing the air. “You smell funnel cake?”
Not knowing what else to say, I pointed to the food stand to my right.
Following my hand, he sprung into action. “Ah, I’ll be right back. You want anything?”
“Water.”
His head volleyed between me and the food stand. “You sure you’ll be okay here? I don’t think I can see you from there.”
I waved him on. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll wait here.”
Put to ease, he disappeared into the crowd, leaving me to reflect on his peculiar statement.
What was his deal? True, he was vain to the tenth power, but he also seemed sad and lonely. I mean, if I had that much attention, I’d be milking it for all it’s worth.
And why was that shrub talking to me?
I turned in the direction of the bush next to my bench.
>
“Psst!” it said. “Hey, are you okay?”
I just stared at the rustling leaves. “That depends. Am I hallucinating?”
“No. It’s me,” I heard Mia say through the foliage.
“Why are you in the bushes?”
“You said you needed backup, and I’m doing surveillance.”
“Wow, I’ve never seen your stalking firsthand. It’s quite disturbing. How does Dougie sleep at night?”
The leaves rustled viciously. “I don’t stalk him!”
“Whatever. I’m not gonna talk to a bush. Come out.”
In seconds, Mia appeared with a tan trench coat and shades. Someone forgot to tell her that the Cold War was over, and that getup made her look even more conspicuous.
I lifted my head to the sky. “Why can’t I have normal friends? Why is everyone around me mental?”
She took a seat next to me. “You attract them. So, did you really kiss Caleb?”
My eyes snapped back to her face. “What? How long have you been listening?”
“Five minutes. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Oh man, I underestimated her undercover work. “Because it wasn’t important. You kiss boys all the time.”
“Yeah, but it’s the same boy. And we’re talking about you here.”
“I don’t want you to make a big deal about it.”
“It must be a big deal if you wanna talk to Caleb about it. What happened? Did he try something? Did he touch your private parts?” she teased.
I kicked the side of her leg. “Stop it. I can’t explain it to you. I can’t understand it myself. And he’s acting all cool about it, like that kiss didn’t spook him out too.”
“Well, from what you told me, he’s got some mileage on him.”
“Yeah, and another thing, why is he in my face all of a sudden? Ever since I caught him bustin’ slob with that girl at the bookstore, he’s been all over me.”
Mia stood and removed her spy gear. “Guys do that sometimes. We need a guy’s opinion on the matter. Let’s ask Dougie.”
“Sure, as soon as he comes out of surgery,” I mumbled.
Mia sighed, perturbed. “It wasn’t that bad of a fight. And he’s right over there.”
I turned to where she pointed, and saw a laid-back and thoroughly beat-down Dougie exiting the men’s room. After spotting us, he limped to our side and sat next to Mia.