by Deena Bright
Leo walked over and sat on the couch cushion closest to us, “Man, I get it. How am I supposed to compete with Briggs Alexander, All-American football legend and… ESPN superstar?” Briggs turned and looked at him and shook his head. “But I think I see the problem. We keep fighting each other instead of trying to make Janelle fall for one of us. But if we keep this shit up, then she’s going to kick us both to the curb,” Leo explained. Briggs nodded.
Finally responding, I asked, “How do you know I haven’t already quit your sorry asses?”
Leo smiled his dimply grin, and said, “You’re sitting here listening to us and not calling the cops. Plus, I can tell that you’re not just fucking around with me. I can feel it.” He reached across the couch and grabbed my hand. He traced the back of my hand with his finger, “But… but… I can also tell that you’re not just fucking around with him either.”
Briggs and I exchanged glances and then looked back at Leo. He continued, “That’s the thing; I can tell. I can see it. You’re into BOTH of us. The problem is you’re so worried about hurting one of us that you don’t realize that when you hurt me… or hurt him… it’s going to hurt you too.”
Leo was right. Leo was 100% accurate, and we all three knew it. This was not going to end well. “Leo… Briggs… I don’t know what to say,” I explained. “If you want me to choose right here, right now… well… I can’t.”
I looked at both of them. Still holding Leo’s hand, I pulled him over next to Briggs. They were both kneeling on the floor in front of me as I sat in the chair staring down at them. I couldn’t give one of them up and watch him walk out the door. I just couldn’t. “If you make me choose… like now… then I would just say ‘neither,’ and we’d all move on from there.”
Holy Fuck, I was Kelly Taylor. After all of these years, it finally hit me; Kelly Taylor was a goddamn genius. It was way better to give myself pain and suffering instead of giving it to one of them. Shit, who knew that Aaron Spelling was such a freaking relationship guru? The things you can learn from just one little zip code…
“Nah, that’s not what I’m saying—at all,” Leo said. “If it’s not going to be me, then I don’t want you to choose right now either. I’m not ready to let go just yet.”
“Me either,” Briggs finally piped in. “But this shit’s a serious mess.”
“You’re right. So Briggs, we have to stop fighting each other, and just start fighting… fighting for her.” Leo said rationally and intelligently. “We need to put our energy in to making her realize who she really wants… not keep showing her what jackasses we are.”
Briggs and I laughed. Did that mean that these two were going to try to get along? Well, I couldn’t wait to see how that played out. That would be the answer to my prayers. Well, if we’re being honest, the answer to my prayers would be that both of them just agreed to walk me right back to my bedroom right now and show me just how well they really could get along. But, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I had to admit, the idea of a threesome had never, not once in my life, ever crossed my mind. It was crazy what these two did to my imagination and sexual prowess. Ha! And Char didn’t think I had a sex drive or prowess. As of late, I might be able to teach her a thing or two.
“That’s a good plan, but we need to keep the rules, too. We need some sort of equal playing field,” Briggs replied.
“Oh agreed… plus, you’re time’s up tonight anyway, and I’ll see her tomorrow,” Leo boasted smugly.
“Son of a…” Briggs started, but I stopped him.
“Right. But if memory serves me correctly Leo Cling, you’re out of jurisdiction, infringing upon the signed code of conduct. And Briggs and I still have a ‘goodbye’ to complete,” I explained as I stood up and pulled Leo up with me.
I walked Leo to the door, and opened it. “Good night, Mr. Cling. I will see you tomorrow.” He leaned over to kiss me, but I pulled my head back. “No sir, you will wait your turn.” He growled and dropped his head in defeat. Then I added, “I know Hon; parting is such pitiful sorrow.” Leo’s head shot back up, and he looked at me questioningly. I just motioned him to the door as he walked out to his car.
After closing the door behind me, I said, “Now Mr. Alexander, I think you owe me a ‘goodbye,’ one that ensures I remember you until the next time I see your gorgeous body and sexy blue eyes.” Briggs got up from the floor and walked over to me.
“I’m up for that challenge. By the way… are you using me for me eyes?” he teased. “Do they give you ‘visual pleasure,’ Miss Garrity?”
“Oh yes they do. Can you give me any other type of pleasure, young man?” I asked. Briggs wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he braced me against the door. His tongue explored my mouth with hunger and desire. I could feel his want and matched it with my own.
After the deepest, most passionate kiss, our lips parted, and he leaned his forehead against mine. “Man, parting is such sweet sorrow,” he said and winked at me as he put me back down.
“Hey, I thought—”
“Oh, you thought right. Absolutely right. I could tell that I fucked it up by your expression,” he explained. “When I got in the car to pick up the food, I looked it up. Why didn’t you just tell me I was a dumbass?”
“I didn’t want—”
“I know,” he said. “You didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Let’s hope that you’re thinking that way by the end of the month too.”
I WAS ALREADY slathered in sunscreen, basking in the sunlight on a double-sized raft, sipping a margarita when Char showed up for the cookout. “Hey skank, you took the good raft,” she said as she took off her cover-up and flip-flops.
“You need to get here pretty early to beat me to this thing. I’d trade my future first-born to never again be without this aqua-gift from God,” I replied, putting my drink back down in the built-in cup holder. It really was the greatest raft ever, the Mercedes of water relaxation.
“Do you have makeup on?” I asked shading my eyes from the sun.
“No,” Char said, looking away from me.
“Yes, you do! Since when do you wear makeup to a pool party?” I inquired.
Char hated girls who wore makeup to go swimming. Char loved the water, just as I did. She always fucked with our sorority sisters who refused to get their hair wet, splashing them and shoving them in the water. Char hated the chicks who insisted on sitting beside the pool in full makeup and jewelry with their hair styled to perfection.
One spring break, Char coined the term “pool jewelry,” claiming that all they did was accessorize the appearance of the pool. She even had one of those obnoxious vacation t-shirts airbrushed with the saying “Pool Jewelry = Frigid Skanks.” I was the only one who got the joke, but that was good enough for her. Char wore that shirt all week—even after she spilled her strawberry daiquiri on it.
“Alright whore, spill it,” I said. “Where’d you sleep last night?”
“Nowhere! I was home all night long,” she argued.
“No chance, you obviously just made your walk of shame straight here instead of stopping home first,” I said. “Who was he?”
Char studied my face for a long time before saying, “Just some guy from Lavery’s… and I did stop at home. Thank you very much. Look, I have my suit on.”
Lavery’s was Char’s favorite “after-work to unwind” bar. Understanding that she had no intentions of seeing him again, I just nodded and said, “Before you get in the water, the margarita pitcher is in the cooler. Be careful when you open it. It’s just balancing in there without a lid.”
Char poured herself a margarita and found the crappy raft in the shed. As she eased herself into the water, she asked, “How’d it go with the African-American God? Were you able to walk today?”
“Oh, make no mistake about it, I was on my knees thanking that particular God much of the day,” I joked, tapping my glass with hers. “Char, he is a gift straight from Heaven, you have no idea.”
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“Jesus, stop! I’m not sure I can hear all this without my lady parts exploding with jaded jealousy,” she said, laughing. “But really, don’t even think about stopping. Tell me everything, every last saucy detail.”
I began telling Char pretty much every detail of the day before. I left virtually nothing out. Char and I told each other everything, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable going into explicit detail about every single sexy thing that happened. As I relayed the events, needing to embellish nothing since it was all so sublime in the first place, our rafts had floated down to the deep end of the pool, facing away from the gate. Neither of us realized that we had company until we heard a clearing of a throat. Turning around, to my dismay, I was staring into the rather pained and torn face of Leo Cling.
“Hey Leo,” I sputtered, hating myself for the descriptions he must have endured. “What’s up?”
“Not so much, where do you want these?” he asked, indicating bags of chips and a case of beer.
“I’ll take them, just give me a sec to get over there,” I said, trying to paddle my way to the shallow end.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just put the beer in that cooler and leave the chips on the table,” he said, walking over to the cooler. “It’ll only take a minute. Then, I have to move the sprinklers again,” he replied, turning his back on me.
Staring at him, I didn’t know what to say. It was obvious that he’d heard every detail of yesterday’s events. Leo was already mad and hurt, and he hadn’t been here longer than 10 minutes. This was a mess, and it was getting messier by the minute.
“Well, it looks like Leo doesn’t like hearing about how good Briggs is in bed. So, go on… keep talking,” Char said.
“Stop it! I hate that he heard that,” I admitted. “It makes me feel awful, Char.”
“The sooner he catches on that he is no match for Briggs Alexander, the sooner the world will be back to normal,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Like Leo has anything on Briggs.”
“At least I have someone on my side,” came the voice behind us. Turning around, Char and I both gasped at the sight of Briggs in his Nautica teal blue swim trunks, shirtless, with a towel slung loosely around his neck.
“I’m going to need to get one of those bells on the pool’s gate,” I muttered under my breath and rolled off the raft, submerging myself under the water. Staying under until my lungs wouldn’t let me stay hidden any longer, I resurfaced, gasping for air.
“Nice try Nelle, Briggs is still here,” Char whispered. “Looking incredibly hot,” she announced louder, whistling. Briggs gave her a little spin and twirled his towel over his head, gyrating his hips in full male stripper style.
“Cool down buddy,” I said, splashing him as I did so.
Leo came back from the house, scowling at Briggs. “What the fuck? Did we not just have this discussion?”
“Whoa! Whoa! Don’t blame me; this is not a drop-in,” Briggs explained.
“Briggs, don’t lie! I did not invite you. You know we promised to play by the rules,” I said, exiting the pool in case I needed to bodily stop them from killing each other.
“And I sure as fuck didn’t invite you,” Leo added.
“I did,” Jasper said, carrying a platter of raw steaks, burgers, and hot dogs. “Last time I checked, this was my house.” He put the meats down on the table near the grill. Then, he shook Briggs’ hand and nodded cordially to Leo. “Briggs and I are working on getting Briggs’ ESPN show to let Garrrity Advertising handle all of his television promotions.”
“I put a call in to my agent and publicist this morning, but I think they’re out of touch until after the Fourth,” he explained.
Catching on, I asked, “Is that what you wanted to talk to him about last night?”
“Yep,” Jasper said, lighting the grill. “Hey Leo, how much did you spend last week on the extra fertilizer and mulch? I still need to reimburse you.”
“Don’t worry about it, I had some leftover credit from when I made that first run to Home Depot,” Leo said.
“Alright, but let me know when you need more money. I don’t want you doing this shit for free just to get closer to Nelle,” Jasper said, chuckling. “Actually Nelle, you got any other guys up your sleeve? Your newfound boy toys are really starting to benefit me.”
“Come on Jasper, you’re being a dick. Shut the fuck up,” Char said coming out of the pool. All of our heads whipped around to stare at her. People didn’t talk to Jasper like that. Nobody talked to Jasper like that. Char especially didn’t talk to my brother like that—ever.
“Ahhh… the best friend to the rescue. Isn’t that sweet?” Jasper said, opening the packages of meat. Briggs and Leo quickly grabbed a package and opened one as well. “Dudes, I’m not the one you have to convince. Ain’t no use in kissing my ass,” Jasper said, taking the meat from them.
Char glared at Jasper and took her towel to the other end of the pool, laying it out over the chaise.
Jasper took off his shirt, leaving just his swim trunks on. Briggs said, “Awesome tatt, man.”
I whipped my head back to see who Briggs was talking to. “Jasper! Are you fucking kidding me? You got a tattoo?”
Jasper Garrity with a tattoo?
If I weren’t seeing it, then I’d never believe it. It was high up on his arm, close to his shoulder. I didn’t know what it was exactly, some warrior looking symbol, but I had to admit, it looked cool—even on Jasper.
“Yeah, pretty badass, eh?” he said, smirking proudly.
“It is. But why? Why in the world would you of all people get a tattoo?” I asked.
“I don’t need to answer that,” he said, going back to the grill.
I didn’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do. Leo and Briggs were standing around like douche bags at a middle school dance. Char was pissed about some shit, pouting over on her towel. So, I did what any rational girl in her late twenties would do.
I screamed, “Last one in is a rotten egg.” Then I full out cannon-balled into the deep end, splashing Char with a slight spitting of water. Taking my cue, Briggs bounded down the side of the pool and jack-knifed into the deep end, soaking Char from top to bottom. As she got up, pitching a bitch-fit, Leo picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and jumped into the pool.
Once we were all in the pool, splashing and carrying on like children, we decided on a two-on-two chicken fight. I was shocked that Char mounted Leo immediately with ease. She smirked as she played with his hair, waiting for me to climb on top of Briggs. I was careful as I got on Briggs’ shoulders for fear of hurting his hand. When I told him so, he laughed and said, “I got a small cut on my hand. It ain’t shit compared to being knocked unconscious by a rock while surfing. I’m sure I’ll survive.”
I nodded and kissed his hand, “Alright stud, let’s take them down.”
Once atop of our bases, Char and I went at each other, trying desperately to dismount the other. Laughing uncontrollably, I pushed and pulled at her. Leo and Briggs were told not to shove each other, but to hold us tightly. I was very aware of Briggs’ strong hands grasping my thighs tightly and firmly. But I was more aware of Leo’s hands placed high on my best friend’s outer thighs, dangerously close to her hips and ass. Then, with all the force I could muster up, I yanked her down off of Leo, off my man.
As soon as she resurfaced, I slid down Briggs’ back and swam over to Leo. “Race you,” I said, as I started off to swim toward the deeper part of the pool.
Leo swam after me, staying close behind me. At the last few strokes, he swam next to me and touched the wall of the pool at the exact moment I did. “Well Mr. Cling, I would’ve thought you could swim faster than that,” I teased, knowing he could’ve rolled me up and smoked me in the swimming department. He’d told me before that swimming was a big part of his training for crew. I guess they figured that if the boat ever capsized they could either swim to victory or safety, either way, it was win-win.
“Cling, I’ll race you,” Br
iggs said from the shallow end, sitting on the steps, next to Char. “100 bucks says that I’ll beat your ass.”
Leo lifted his body out of the pool and sat on the edge of the deep end. “I’ll take that bet,” he agreed smiling, shaking his head. “I know how hard you work for that money, Alexander. I’ll be glad to take it… Oh right, you don’t work.”
“You sound a little jealous. Tired of working so hard and not getting what you want?” Briggs goaded.
Jasper walked to the edge of the pool, and said, “Sorry Alexander, but my money’s on Leo.”
“What’s the bet?” Rick asked, as he, Jocelyn, my nieces, Carlee and Kara, and my nephews, Donovan and Darren, walked through the gate. What can I say? We’re an alliteration-loving family.
They looked like the Brady Bunch on crack in Hawaii. They had more swimming paraphernalia, towels, bags, and covered dishes than the whole Brady clan had brought with them on the cursed Hawaiian getaway. It was tragic what parenting could turn a couple into. I remembered when Rick and Jocelyn went backpacking in Europe with one bag each. Looking at them now, it looked as if their bags had spawned bags, and they were only here for an afternoon.
Jasper laughed and said, “Briggs and Leo are going to see who can swim faster. It’s quite the entertainment watching these two vie for Janelle’s attention. It’s like playground wars gone wild.”
“100 bucks is too steep for our blood. Girls are going to dance camp next month,” Rick said, shaking his head, unloading all of the bags they’d brought with them.
“Briggs, I’ll put all 100 of my dollar bills on you,” Char said, wrapping her arm around his shoulder.
What. The. Fuck?
Was she trying to get me to rip her mother-loving fucking head off? I glared at her, and she looked away, grinning. My best friend was treading on very thin ice, so thin that I could see her face clearly as she was drowning beneath it.
Jasper organized the race, specifying the boundaries and expectations. People couldn’t just have fun with Jasper around. Everything had to be official and legit. Looking at him shirtless in his swim trunks, sunglasses, and tattoo, I realized how strange he looked to me. Whenever Jasper wasn’t in a stiffly starched shirt and tie, I always thought he looked out of place, uncomfortable. He just wasn’t a laid-back, carefree guy. My brother definitely needed to relax a little more.