by Daniel Grant
‘Hello?’
‘Uh hi, is that James Kennedy’s place?’
‘Yeah, you here for the barbeque?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Top floor.’ The buzzer sounds and I open the door. The first thing I look for is a lift which either doesn’t exist or is hidden so well I can’t find it. I begin the ascent up the stairs. When I get to the top, I’m panting. I knock on the door. I hear someone coming, the door opens to reveal James Kennedy wearing a white shirt open three buttons down. He’s on his mobile.
‘...thank you babe. I, uh...’ he looks at me and frowns. ‘Hang on a second. Uh, hi?’ he says, frowning.
‘Hi. Um, Lauren invited me?’ I say. The look on his face tells me everything I need to know. It would appear that although Lauren invited me, she had apparently failed to tell James this small but important fact.
‘Oh. Right,’ he says, glancing down at my attire.
‘I bought beers,’ I say, holding them up, eager to please.
‘Well, come in. What happened to uh..?’ he asks, referring to my face.
‘Long story,’ I reply. He shrugs, takes the bag with my Fosters and walks ahead of me into the kitchen. Maverick Sabre’s soulful voice wafts from the stereo system in living room which, by the way, is enormous. He also has an outside area where everyone is hanging out.
‘You want a cold drink?’ I hear James ask.
‘Uh sure, if you don’t mind,’ I reply. He appears a few seconds later, phone still clamped to his ear and gives me a cold bottle of Peroni. ‘Why would I mind?’ he asks. ‘Sorry darling, yeah so you were saying about the HSBC thing?’ I watch him walk back towards his guests, leaving me stranded. Man, that guy is a cock. ‘Why would I mind?’ his sarcastic words replay in my head. What a shitty little...calm Ollie.
I follow in James’ wake, taking note of the huge plasma screen to my left as I head towards the outside living space which is like a balcony on steroids. It’s huge and can seemingly accommodate many, many people. Jesus Christ, this place is incredible. Everything is ultra-modern and shiny. Sort of like its owner, I guess.
I spot Mark and a couple of other people I recognise from pub. Jeez, they all look like they know one another, this is going to be awkward. Why didn’t Lauren tell him I was coming? I knew this was a mistake. I can’t see her. Shit, do I go out there and start mingling? I stop, indecision getting the better of me. Suddenly, I feel two hands move across my eyes, cutting my vision. I immediately feel a stab of pain in my cheek.
‘Guess who?’ Lauren says behind me.
‘Ow,’ I say. She immediately withdraws her hands and looks at me.
‘Oh my God. What happened?’ she asks. I turn to face her. Wow is the only word that comes to mind. Her hair is down but brushed straight, salon-style. She wears a white, flowing summer dress with little flowers dotted around it. In short…she looks staggering.
‘I…I got sent to a far right march and got a little pushed around.’
‘Jesus,’ she replies, going to touch my cheek. I flinch at the prospect of her touch. She withdraws her hand.
‘I know. I look terrible but I’m told it will heal. One day.’
‘No I’m...just glad you’re okay. Someone punched you?’
‘Yeah, something like that. It’s fine. Happens sometimes.’
‘Maybe you should take a security guard or something next time.’
‘Yeah, it wasn’t supposed to be that sort of march. Anyway, how are you?’
‘Good. It’s good to see you,’ she replies, staring at me with a big smile on her face.
‘You too. James, didn’t seem to know I was coming.’
‘He did, I told him last week.’
‘Oh. Okay.’
‘I see you’ve already got your drink sorted,’ she says, looking at my Peroni.
‘Uh yeah, you want it?’
‘Just got one,’ she says holding up her bottle. I nod, nervous, not sure why. I suddenly have nothing to say. Small talk, quick.
‘This is an amazing place,’ I say.
‘Yeah, James earns way too much. As his boss, I will be looking into that,’ she replies. I smile. Man, she does look stunning in that dress. First time I’ve seen her out of a suit. Smokin’ and I don’t mean the barbeque either. ‘I like your shirt, Calvin Klein?’ Her comment causes me to pause in my current gulp of beer. ‘It’s written on the back.’ I swallow.
‘Ah yes. You look...wow, really nice,’ I say. I know I’m crap but I’m nervous. I already told you I don’t know why.
‘Thanks. You okay?’
‘Yeah, oh definitely,’ I reply. She smiles.
‘It’s really good to see you. I’ve...sort of missed you this week.’
‘Yeah, sort of missed me?’ I ask, unsure how anyone could miss me. ‘I guess I sort of missed you too,’ I reply. I promise our dialogue will get better, just stay with me.
‘You don’t have to say that.’
‘No, I really did.’ I swallow and take another sip of beer.
‘You want to meet some people?’
‘Sure.’ She takes my hand and leads me over to the outside area. The view is astonishing. Canary Wharf is directly ahead of us with the river running past the apartment building. To the left is the Shard, the buildings of the City and St Paul’s Cathedral. To the right, more Docklands buildings and East London. The Superbalcony, as I shall now refer to it, extends up to another level where James and Mark are cooking on a large expensive-looking barbeque. Other people sit at a big round table under an enormous umbrella. Two girls sit on the step up, talking with glasses of Champagne in their hands. The smell of meat and smoke fills the air.
‘Hey Lauren, you going to help James with the barbeque?’ asks Mark, stepping down and over to us.
‘No, that’s what guys do at these things, isn’t it?’ she replies. ‘You remember Ollie?’
‘Yeah, hey man, good to see you,’ Mark replies, shaking my hand. If he notices my bruise he says nothing. ‘Fuck, I’m sweating like a dog.’ He wipes his forehead with his arm. ‘You guys okay for beers?’ I nod.
‘Yeah, thanks,’ I say. Lauren nods.
‘Cool, escuse moi.’ He moves past us, and into the flat.
‘Hi there,’ says a woman’s voice behind me. I turn to see a pretty brunette. She’s slim, wears a tight-fitting red dress and holds a glass of half-drunk Champagne. ‘And who do we have here?’
‘Sarah, this is Ollie,’ Lauren says. ‘Sarah’s with James.’ I nod and shake her hand. ‘Nice to meet you,’ I say.
‘You too. So you’re the famous Ollie,’ Sarah says.
‘Uh oh, sounds like I’ve been discussed,’ I say.
‘In explicit detail,’ Lauren says. Sarah laughs. She has an infectious laugh which makes you smile the moment you hear it.
‘Don’t worry, I know nothing,’ says Sarah. ‘You’re the one that works for TBN?’
‘For my sins, I’m afraid it’s true,’ I reply.
‘I think that’s really interesting. So have you been in a warzone recently or something?’
‘No, some protestors took issue with his haircut,’ Lauren says.
‘What?’ Sarah says. I nudge Lauren playfully.
‘No, I was out on a far right demonstration and it broke into a few scuffles, that’s all.’
‘He’s very brave,’ Lauren says, putting her arm through mine. Sarah smiles.
‘You have a dangerous job,’ Sarah says.
‘Nah, just sometimes...so, what do you do?’ I ask her. She takes a sip of Champagne.
‘I’m a counsellor, well just starting out. But I had my first client last week.’
‘Really? A counsellor.’
‘Yeah, I’ve been studying like forever but I finally got my degree so-’ she looks up to James, distracted by the barbeque fire that appears to be getting out of control.
‘Holy shit!’ I hear James shout. ‘Mark! Water now!’
‘James, what are you doing?’ Sarah says. ‘Excuse me,
sorry.’ She leaves to attend James’ unfolding barbeque disaster.
‘No worries,’ I say. I turn to Lauren. ‘You look amazing, did I say that already?’ She smiles, staring at me. We say nothing for a moment, just looking at each other. ‘What?’ I ask. She shakes her head, her eyes not leaving mine.
‘You look very smart in that shirt and the bruise makes you look dangerous,’ she says.
‘Yeah, dangerously ill-prepared for a fight.’
Barbeque disaster is averted when Mark runs out and moves some of the meat James was cooking to a cooler side of the grill. James, it appears, thought that adding more lighting fluid was the answer to non-cooking food. A fire brigade situation is avoided by Mark’s quick thinking thus saving the flat and all the wealthy people. Yay.
I’m introduced to another couple from United Bank, Karen and her fiancée Billy who seem very nice. Everyone settles in for a relaxing evening. Lauren helps Sarah with the drinks leaving me to talk to a guy called Darren who, if I’m honest is really dull but luckily it isn’t long before Lauren finds me again. We find a spot away from the others and sit down, looking out at the remarkable view. I have a chicken leg in one hand and, I think, my third Peroni in the other.
‘So,’ I say.
‘So,’ she replies.
‘You ever...been in love?’ I ask. Her smile dies and she becomes reflective.
‘Yeah. Many times. Maybe that’s my problem, I think I fall in love too easily. Normally ends up in a car crash.’
‘Yeah? Been hurt?’ I ask. She looks at me then back to Canary Wharf ahead of us.
‘Of course. Who hasn’t? But that’s life, isn’t it?’
‘I guess.’
‘You?’ she asks. I nod slowly. ‘Recently?’ I look at her, my eyes giving me away. She sighs. Suddenly, a simple conversation has taken on a new darker edge. ‘Who was she?’
‘Nah. Look this is supposed to be a fun thing, right?’
‘Are we heading into rocky shores before we’ve barely set sail?’ she asks. I look at her, the sudden poetry in her words surprising me.
‘No. We’re good. We’re better than good,’ I say, as convincingly as I can.
‘It wasn’t this girl that gave you that shiner, was it?’ I chuckle and shake my head.
‘No. But it has happened before. I think I must have a very punchable face.’ She laughs her little snort laugh which, in turn, makes me laugh. Suddenly she leans in and kisses me. Carefully, she moves her hand to the back of my head, which I replicate by running my hand through her hair.
‘Oh jeez, you two! Get a room,’ James shouts from the barbeque. Our lips part and Lauren turns to James.
‘Just cook the meat, Kennedy. Less shouty shouty, more cooky cooky, yeah?’ she calls back. James smiles and turns back to the barbeque. She turns to me. ‘Let’s just be careful with each other’s hearts?’ She stares at me, a serious look on her face. I nod slowly, swallowing. Guilt rises through me, causing my heart to start pounding. ‘Another beer?’ she asks, looking at the empty bottle in my hand. I nod. She stands and heads off towards the kitchen, leaving me to ponder what the hell I’m getting myself into.
Afternoon soon becomes early evening. Lauren and I talk for what feels like hours. I find out all sorts of things. She’s incredibly driven, makes a lot of money and seems to have had her heart broken a few too many times. I detect a little high maintenance in some of her comments but then, who isn’t? I know I am sometimes. Eventually we split up when James and Mark corner her into a conversation about some banking stuff to which I can make no real contribution. I head towards the toilets. As I walk past the kitchen I see Sarah taking a tray of party food out of the oven.
‘Hi,’ I say.
‘Hey Ollie, how you doing?’
‘Good, thanks. This is a really great party.’
‘Thanks. It’s easy in a place like this, a lot of space.’
‘Yeah. It’s amazing,’ I say. She turns the pigs in blankets or whatever they are, then shakes the tin. ‘So how long have you and James been together?’
‘Over a year now.’
‘Cool. How did you meet?’ I ask. She smiles uncomfortably, her eyes thinking of her response.
‘We uh, at a club. A little bit of a rollercoaster to get where we are now. But he’s a great guy.’
‘Yeah,’ I reply. Maybe it was the way I said it but she picks up on my tone immediately.
‘I know. But, a lot of it is just bravado. Underneath it all, he’s actually a good guy.’
‘No sure. He seems nice.’
‘Sometimes he’s a cock. Especially to people he doesn’t know very well and if he’s a bit strange with you, there’s a bit of a past with Lauren.’
‘What?’ I say, unable to disguise the surprise in my voice.
‘Oh no, I only mean…they dated for a bit. It’s over now. She’s lovely.’ My heart is thumping again. James and Lauren...what on earth could she see in him?
‘Yeah, she is,’ I say.
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that.’
‘It’s cool. We’ve all had ex’s,’ I reply. She puts the tray back in the oven. ‘Don’t you find it weird, James and Lauren working together?’
‘No. I know I’m the one he wants. Don’t get me wrong, Lauren is beautiful and smart but I think we’re a better fit. At least I hope we are. I try not to stand next to Lauren too often. She puts us all in the shade a little,’ she says, chuckling. I smile politely. ‘So, you like your job?’
‘It’s okay. It’s different every day and I like the challenge of it,’ I reply. She looks at me and tilts her head.
‘Yeah?’ she replies. I frown.
‘Yeah. Why, you don’t believe me?’
‘Sorry, doing the psychologist thing. Must remember not to analyse my guests,’ she says, slapping her forehead. I chuckle. Suddenly my need for the toilet strengthens considerably.
‘Toilet’s over there,’ she says, pointing.
‘Wow, you’re good,’ I say. She smiles.
I walk back outside and sit down at the table, a new beer in my hand. I watch Lauren talking then laughing with James and Mark. I feel weird, not jealous exactly, just not part of the group. I look out towards the fading sunlight. Canary Wharf is already half lit. The river is at high tide and calm. I take a sip of beer and my thoughts start to wander to Svetla. I wonder what she’s doing right now. Maybe she’s found someone else? I didn’t detect that when I saw her but then, why would she tell me? I miss her. What am I doing here? I like Lauren but she’s trouble, I can feel it. And do I want anything more than just a casual thing? Is it wrong to even think that? She seems keen and I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like I’ve ever pulled anyone remotely that stunning in the past but something in me feels...what’s the word? Unexcited. Am I unexcited by the prospect of being with Lauren? Am I wasting not only my time but hers as well? I see Lauren turn and look for me, her eyes scanning the Superbalcony. She sees me. I take another sip of beer, watch her say something to James and Mark and step down from the higher level. She walks over to me and pulls up a chair.
‘Hey there, you okay?’
‘Yeah,’ I reply.
‘Sorry, I’m neglecting you. Just trying to sort out a deal we’re doing next week.’
‘No worries.’
‘Are you up for a little misbehaving?’ she asks, smiling. I raise an eyebrow.
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s a big apartment. Maybe I could show you around?’ The moment she says that, my mind kicks in with ‘yeah there’s a reason you know every nook and cranny in this place.’
‘Sure,’ I say, my stomach doing backflips. What the hell is wrong with me? She takes my hand and we head back inside, through the living room and into the hallway.
‘This is the hallway,’ she says, giggling. I chuckle.
‘Yeah, I see that,’ I say, smiling. She pushes open a door to another room. Looks like a bedroom. It’s dark. She closes the door behind us and leans
against it, bending one leg and putting her foot against it. Suddenly the atmosphere is charged and electric. She raises her arm above her head.
‘Kiss me,’ she says. I move up to her and kiss her neck. Her skin is warm and soft. I move slowly, kissing her cheek then her lips. Excitement hurtles through me, the kiss becoming more passionate, more urgent. My tongue touches hers as I run my hands along her hips and up to her breasts. A moan escapes her, then hushed uneven breathing in my ear as my hand moves under her dress. The door bangs slightly as we move against it but neither of us cares. I feel her fingers move to my groin and then tug at my jeans. The cold air hits my skin then I feel the warmth of her hand. Jolts of pleasure ripple through me. I want her, right now. I grab her waist and turn her around, pulling up her dress and her G-string to one side. We’re away. It’s raw, animal and fervent. She slams her hands against the door which makes an almighty bang.
‘Oh,’ she whispers. I hold her shoulders, moving in and out. Then I grab her hair and pull hard. She lets out a tiny yelp. I consider the possibility I’ve yanked a little too hard and quickly loosen my grip. ‘No, pull harder,’ she whispers. I do as instructed.
The feeling is coming, either I slow down or this is coming to an end. I don’t care, not about lasting forever. I just want her. I move faster, harder. Driving almost to hurt. She reacts by dropping her head, her hair swaying to the movement. I come. And suddenly everything stops for the slightest of moments. We are one. I hold onto her as the moment peaks and slowly begins to melt away. All that’s left are the two of us, panting. I move away allowing her to stand and turn around.
‘Jesus,’ she says, adjusting her dress.
‘Yeah. Not sure what came over me there,’ I say, pulling up my jeans and buttoning them.
‘Whatever it was, we definitely need to explore that some more.’
‘Yeah. Definitely.’
‘Phew,’ she says suddenly laughing, ‘that was hard core.’
‘I’m not normally like that.’