“Then why are you so mad?” he questioned with a grin.
“I’m not mad!” CJ yelled at him.
“Then why are you shouting?” The grin broadened into a smile.
His calm irritated her. “I just want to make sure you can hear me!” she yelled.
“I don’t think it’s that at all. You’re mad. I think it’s that Irish temper getting the better of you.”
“I think you stubborn Swedes have the compassion and manners of goats! You’re supposed to help me feel better. You know…comfort and kindness. I’ve just been through—”
“We’ve just been through,” Brad interjected. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. We’re in this together.”
CJ suddenly stopped her ranting. She was rather embarrassed to realize she was taking out her emotions on Brad. She looked him square in the face and felt her indignation fade away. “Oh, Brad,” she breathed and came to him. Wrapping her arms around him, CJ heard him grunt when she tightened her hold. “You’re hurt, aren’t you?”
“It’s nothing much. I’ve already taken care of it,” Brad replied.
CJ stepped back in disbelief. She surveyed the bloodstained rips in the side of his coveralls. “Nothing much? Sure. People lose blood like that all the time.”
Brad laughed. “Stop fretting. I promise to let you tend to it later. You can fuss all over me and tell me how brave I was and what a good pilot I am.” His eyes were twinkling. “Right now, though,” he said and turned her to face the craggy peaks behind them, “we’ve got to make a shelter.”
CJ took a deep breath, nodding at the heavy, gray sky. “Daddy always said, stay with the plane. People die because they wander away from the wreckage and get disoriented. Stay with the plane.”
“What’s left of it will hardly offer much comfort,” Brad replied. “We won’t venture far, though. Why don’t you look around in the plane and find our things? Just make a pile so we can utilize what we have. I’ll go scout out that rock face. Maybe we can hole up there.”
CJ nodded and watched Brad cross over to the rocks. She looked at the angry, snow-heavy sky and then across to the man who’d managed to save her life. “Why, God?” she whispered. “Why this? Why now?” The wind whipped across her face with an icy chill, and CJ shivered. Suddenly she questioned everything. Her faith. Her life. Her death. How did it all figure together?
Rubbing her hands over her arms, CJ turned her attention to the plane and grimaced. She wondered how Brad had managed to keep it in relatively one piece. He must be some kind of pilot, she thought, then laughed nervously. Maybe angels had helped out.
CJ silently searched the plane, located their bags, and pulled them from the wreckage. After a little more investigation, she managed to turn up another blanket. Glancing around her, she suddenly realized that she couldn’t see Brad anywhere. Apprehension gnawed at her shattered nerves. Where had he gone?
Standing alone on the mountaintop, CJ was reminded of her father’s analogy about mountain peaks. “You never told me, Daddy, what to do when the peaks were covered with clouds and you can’t see behind you and you can’t see ahead,” CJ whispered to the wind.
The cold numbed her fingers, and CJ began to shake. Pacing in a circle to keep her blood circulating, the truth of what had happened began to sink in. They were stranded! Trapped on top of a rocky fortress. A most unforgiving one, at that.
CJ started to cry but pushed the tears back. Her throat ached from the denial of emotions that rode so close to the surface. The wind blew harder, biting into the thick, insulated coveralls. If she was already this cold, how would they ever survive the night?
Once again, CJ scanned the rocks for Brad. When she spotted him coming back to the wreckage, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Brad returned with a broad smile, as if he’d done nothing more strenuous than to check them into the nearest hotel. “There’s a place over there where two rocks lean together. Right behind that is solid rock. It’s not a cave, but very nearly. We could probably use the blanket to block the wind and scoot up under the overhang.”
It sounded hopeless to CJ, but she grabbed the blankets and bags while Brad took the first-aid kit and some emergency lights he’d found earlier in the plane. Silently, they made their way to the refuge he’d found.
Finding that the mountain tundra yielded little in the way of wood, they used pieces of the plane to stake up the blanket and ward off the wind. Crawling inside, the space proved wider than Brad had originally thought and offered a decent escape from the snow that had started to fall.
CJ rubbed her aching fingers and tried to keep her teeth from chattering too loudly. She played a game with herself of trying to imagine things that were warm. Warm baths, hot towels right out of the dryer, electric blankets—nothing seemed to help.
“I don’t think the temperatures will drop too much, but we have to stay dry and warm. We can snuggle up here and do both,” Brad said, tossing the remaining blanket around them. “What a hardship.”
CJ refused to be humored. “Will they start looking for us right away?”
Brad shook his head. “They can’t in this weather. They’ll have to wait it out until it clears. That could be hours or days.”
“We could be dead by then.”
Brad shook his head. “CJ, I don’t think God brought us through the crash just to let us die on this mountain. Where’s your faith?”
“I lost it at about twelve thousand feet,” she replied seriously.
Brad put his arm around her, and CJ scooted close to avoid him hurting himself by pulling her. “Don’t be angry at God, CJ. It won’t change a thing, and it’ll leave you miserable and bitter.”
“Get real, Brad!” she exclaimed, pushing away. “Don’t you ever get upset? Don’t you ever question why God let something happen?”
Brad looked thoughtful. “Sure. When things like this happen, I ask plenty of questions. But I know that sometimes I don’t get to know all the details. We’re sitting here in the middle of a mountain, survivors of what could have been a fatal airplane crash, and I can’t help but wonder how this works into Romans 8:28.”
“Romans what?” CJ questioned with a raised brow.
“Romans 8:28. ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him….’ I have a questioning mind, just like you do. Nevertheless, here we are.” He looked down at her with a mischievous grin and added, “Alone.”
“Brad, how can you joke at a time like this?”
“It beats the alternative.”
“Which is?” CJ questioned.
“We could cry. We could lament the situation until our faces turned blue.”
“That wouldn’t take long. Our faces are already blue from the cold,” grumbled CJ. She eased back into Brad’s arms, needing to feel his warmth.
“‘Survival is 50 percent attitude, 30 percent mind-set, and
20 percent perspective,’ a wise man once said.” The words sounded familiar to CJ. Brad continued. “In other words, you’re going to have to change your way of thinking if you don’t want to spend your time up here in misery.”
“You talk as though we were at one of your resorts. We’re stranded on the side of a mountain. Correction, the top of a mountain. A blizzard is moving in; the temperature is dropping. We’re cold, hungry, bruised, and battered. Now I ask you, what part of that should I turn my attention toward in order to get a better attitude?”
Brad shrugged his shoulders. “I guess that would be entirely up to you. Each person finds value in different things. As for myself, I’m grateful we’re both alive. It could be very different. I could be standing over your dead body, mourning the loss or vice versa.” All trace of humor was gone.
CJ knew he was right. Wasn’t that her biggest fear? That had been the reason she was afraid to love him. Fear that he might be taken and she would be left behind had kept her from saying what she really felt. But then, as they were about to face death, she had told him. She wondered if he re
membered. As if reading her mind, Brad tightened his hold.
“Wait just a minute, CJ. I seem to remember one good thing that came out of this situation.”
“What?”
“I recall you telling me something just before we went down. Now, what was it? My mind’s just a bit foggy on this. You might have to help me,” Brad said, staring up at the rock overhead.
CJ would have elbowed him, but she was up against his injured side. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she stated stubbornly and looked away. So he does remember!
Brad laughed and brought his hand up to her face, forcing her to look at him. “Did you mean it?”
CJ grew serious. The warmth in Brad’s eyes was too much. The feel of his hand on her face was more than she could bear. Emotions welled up and threatened to flood her mind and soul. “Yes,” she confessed in a whisper. “I meant it with all my heart. I love you, Brad.”
“It took you long enough to admit to it,” he said rather dryly.
“I know,” she said, lowering her face against the blanket. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he replied, his voice low and husky. “I knew what you felt for me, but I also knew you needed time to admit it to yourself.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them as the wind howled outside. CJ didn’t know what else to say. What could she say that could possibly explain the way she felt? It was all so new to her. It left her feeling helplessly out of control, a feeling she hated. It was all a matter of attitude, Brad had told her.
“Who was the wise man you quoted a minute ago?” CJ questioned softly.
“Douglas O’Sullivan,” Brad replied without looking at her.
CJ nodded and grew quiet again at the mention of her father.
Brad didn’t push her to talk. He was content to just sit and wait for her to feel like telling him her thoughts. Closing his eyes, Brad saw the crash again in his mind. The loss of altitude, the mountainside coming up fast. The certainty of death as it loomed before his eyes. No wonder CJ had struggled through the years.
Shaking off the image, he tried to concentrate on what they should do next. CJ wiggled down against his shoulder, breaking all thoughts of their predicament. Instantly, the realization of her body sitting next to his, dependent upon his for warmth, caused Brad’s heart to pound. They were as isolated as people could get. Whatever might happen, or not happen, would be a matter of determination and willpower, he quickly realized.
CJ’s voice came in a soft, childlike tone. “I’ve never been in love before,” she admitted.
Brad was surprised at the statement and instantly took interest. “Never? Come on, surely there was some sweetheart of a boy way back there, somewhere.”
“Nope. Nobody measured up to my standards,” CJ said flatly.
“Which were?”
CJ felt her face flush. “You’ll laugh at me.”
“No, I won’t. I promise. I’m just curious to know what standards you hold. Especially if I made it within their tight boundaries.”
CJ shook her head and refused to look up. “I wanted a guy like my dad.”
“That’s quite a compliment. I thank you.”
“I suppose,” she said, barely breathing the words, “that it’s quite strange to be twenty-one and know nothing of falling in love, but it’s the truth. Nobody else even interested me. Not in college or even after that. You’re the first one.” She couldn’t take her eyes away from his.
“And the last,” he whispered hoarsely before lowering his lips to hers.
CJ’s heart raced and her stomach knotted, but this time it was a good feeling. She felt her fears slip away as Brad’s kiss deepened. All she wanted to do was forget everything that had happened—the accident, her parents, everything. She began kissing him back with a passion she’d not known existed. She hoped the kiss would go on forever, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Brad’s neck.
Suddenly, with a noise that was something between a growl and grunt, Brad pushed her away. CJ felt hurt and almost afraid. Brad’s frowning face didn’t help. With all that she’d endured that day, she couldn’t stop her tears from flowing. She sobbed softly into her hands and lay down, turning away so that he couldn’t see her cry.
Brad stared down at the crying woman. Why had he done that? Why had he allowed his passions to rule his thinking? Now he was hesitant to even touch her, yet he couldn’t leave her in tears. Brad reached out and pulled CJ up. He forced her to sit next to him and brushed her hands away from her face. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I should never have started that. I don’t have much willpower when it comes to you.”
“What are you talking about? You told me back at your house that I was always safe with you.”
Brad smiled. “You are, but I’m only human. I’ve wanted to take you in my arms a million times. I’ve wanted to hold you and caress you and much, much more. Every time you look at me with that helpless, lost expression, I just want to wrap you up and love you.” He paused, taking in her surprised expression. “Does that shock you? Have I lost my cape?”
“Your what?”
“My cape. You know…Superhero Brad. Didn’t you think I was capable of flaws?”
CJ finally smiled. “I guess I was beginning to wonder. But, if being overly passionate is your only flaw, I guess I can manage.”
Brad laughed. “Overly passionate and overwhelmed,” he said, leaning back against the rock. “When it comes to you, I don’t always react the way I should. A man has his limitations. Sometimes my mind drifts off and, well, never mind.”
CJ reached out and placed her hand on top of Brad’s. “I’m sorry. I should have resisted, but with all of this,” she paused, shaking her head, “I just didn’t care what happened. I figure if
God wants to throw me out here like this, He doesn’t care, either.”
“That’s not true, CJ, and you know it. You’ve got to end this and let go of your anger.”
CJ felt her defenses go up. “For what purpose?” she questioned softly and pulled away. “I’ve tried it and God rewarded me with this.”
seventeen
Brad wanted to say something more, but CJ had obviously ended the conversation. He’d never met anyone who held so much anger inside, and it bothered him more than he could say. All he’d wanted to do was help her to recover her life. Now, it was almost as if they were back at step one, and Brad was uncertain he had the strength to go through it all over again.
The storm held on throughout the day, and as the light diminished, Brad pulled out emergency lights he’d brought from the plane.
“We’ll only use these if we absolutely need to,” he said, giving one to CJ. “There’s no telling how long we’ll have to wait to be rescued.”
The shadowy light inside their shelter made it difficult to make out any features on her face, but Brad knew from her stilted silence that CJ was still upset. All at once, he remembered the breakfast the hotel had packed for them that morning.
“You know, we’ve been sitting here hungry, and I completely forgot the food we brought from Jackson. I’ll go scrounge around the plane and see if I can find it.”
“You’re going out there?” CJ asked weakly.
“It’s only thirty, maybe forty feet away, and you have a light. I’ll be right back,” Brad answered.
“I could come with you,” she offered.
“And have both of us get wet and cold? No, stay here. I’ll need your warmth when I get back.”
Crossing her arms in frustration, CJ said no more and waited alone while the wind roared across the valley. She shivered, realizing that two bodies together had produced much more heat than one alone. “Please hurry, Brad,” she whispered. She started to feel the odd sensations of her claustrophobia return.
“Why are You doing this to me, God? I’ve tried to do exactly what I thought You wanted. I’ve tried to work through the past, and I didn’t give in to defeat. What more do You want from me? Why must I suffer a
gain? What is it that I’m not doing that You still expect?”
The wind calmed, and the silence seemed deafening. CJ pulled her knees up and rested her head against them. Why must she always battle against God? For such a wonderful, short time, she’d really thought she had come to terms with her anger and bitterness.
Minutes passed and still Brad hadn’t returned with the food. CJ rocked back and forth, trying to comfort herself. She began to hum a song absentmindedly and suddenly realized it was a praise hymn she’d learned at Bible study. Rejecting the solace it offered, CJ took a deep breath and leaned back in the dark.
Without the wind’s constant pummeling, she could hear Brad’s approach before the blanket was pulled back. He shined the light right into her face as though she were a criminal being confronted in a dark alley.
“Surprise,” he said humorously. CJ didn’t laugh.
“I was beginning to think you’d hiked out of here,” she muttered and hid her face.
“Nah,” he answered and hurried to resecure the blanket. “I found some of the food, though. Oh, and look, the thermos of coffee. It’s not pilot coffee, but it’s pretty good.”
He left the light on and poured some of the liquid into the thermos lid. “It’s even a little warm. It’d make a great commercial for the thermos company.” Donning an announcer’s voice, Brad held up the thermos in an advertising manner and began his mock spiel. “This thermos survived a tragic air crash and, after sitting in the snow-covered wreckage for an unbelievable twelve hours, it amazingly managed to keep the coffee warm!”
“Very funny,” CJ said, taking a sip.
“Well, I try,” Brad replied. “It took some doing, but I managed to find the donuts, although I think they’re frozen solid, and look, here’s some packets of jelly! I figure there must be toast somewhere in the plane, but I didn’t see it.”
CJ took one of the offered donuts and wondered silently if they’d starve to death eating packets of jelly without toast before someone had a chance to find them. Brad seemed unconcerned.
“Shouldn’t we ration this stuff?” she finally asked, staring at the donut in her hand.
A Wing And A Prayer: Truly Yours Digital Edition (Truly Yours Digital Editions) Page 13