by LuAnn McLane
After the chili was simmering on the stove, Jesse made two mugs of herbal tea and headed back to the bedroom. He set Claire’s mug on the nightstand and then stood there and looked down at her sleeping form. The flickering light from the fireplace coupled with the wedge of light from the hallway cast a warm glow in the otherwise dark room. Claire stirred slightly, causing the cover to slip and expose one creamy shoulder. He was amazed that after making love to her all day long, he was already getting aroused. He could reason that it was because he hadn’t been with a woman for such a long time or the emotion of the holiday season or the snowbound circumstances. He could tell himself the amazing lovemaking was due to the erotic aftermath of sketching her nude, but he would be fooling himself. In spite of his resolve not to, he was already falling for Claire Collins.
I could get used to this, he thought with a smile, but then cold hard reality reared its ugly head and brought his thoughts back out of the clouds. Claire would be leaving in just a few days, and he would more than likely never see her again. Jesse ground his teeth together and swallowed hard.This was the last thing he wanted to happen. He should have kept his distance. The idea of her leaving already tore at his gut—a hurt that was different from losing his parents but pain nonetheless, and something he had vowed to avoid until now.
With an angry intake of breath he turned away and managed to slosh hot tea on his bare chest. “Damn!” he growled.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked in a sleepy voice that sounded like crushed velvet.
“Yeah, I just splashed some tea on my chest. No big deal. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He knew he sounded terse but turned to leave anyway.
“Then why did you bring me some tea?” she asked in a confused tone.
“I thought you might be awake, but when you weren’t, I decided to let you sleep.”
“Oh.” When he remained silent, she said, “Something sure smells good.”
“Chili,” he responded, and took a few steps toward the door. He knew he was being an ass and confusing the hell out of her, but he was suddenly so pissed at himself that he couldn’t see straight.What in the hell had he been thinking?
“What’s wrong, Jesse?” The hurt in her voice stopped him in his tracks and he slowly turned around. She looked up at him with those big vulnerable eyes and angled her head at him. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he assured her while feeling even more like an ass. After a brief hesitation he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Christmas is a tough time for me.” He cradled the warm mug in his hands and stared down at the brown liquid. “My parents were killed in a car wreck five years ago just a week before Christmas.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He nodded but didn’t look up. “My parents, especially my mother, loved the holidays. Every inch of this cabin would be decorated, and it was an excuse to have the place packed with people. My mother always wanted a large family, and after several miscarriages she finally had me.” He smiled softly. “My parents were both small people and always marveled at how they could have produced a big dude like me. Anyway, I was born on Christmas Eve and that made the holidays even more of a celebration for my mother. She always said that I was her best Christmas gift ever.” He shook his head slowly.
“So that’s why you leave.”
“Yeah. It’s hard enough carving those damned Santas all year long. I can’t ever escape Christmas until I get the hell out of here for a couple of weeks.”
“Why do you continue to carve them if it’s so painful?”
He looked at her then. “My father taught me as a kid. It’s his legacy and all I have left of him.”
“Oh . . . Jesse.” When she gazed at him as if she wanted to hug him, Jesse glanced away, but she would have none of it. “And you finally let your guard down with me. Allowed yourself to feel again.” She hesitated and then added, “And you’re angry with me because of that.”
“No, I’m pissed at myself. I don’t have to state the obvious. We’ve started something that has no chance of going beyond these few days.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.”
Jesse raised his eyebrows.“Really?You don’t even fly, Claire. Are you going to take a three-day train ride when you want to come for a visit?” Tears welled up in her eyes, but he persisted. “This started with the eggnog and I apologize for that. And I thought if I let you make the first move that I wouldn’t feel like a heel having a holiday fling.That you wouldn’t be looking at me like you’re looking at me now.”
“So that’s what this is to you?” she asked in a small voice.
“I wish—,” Jesse began, but before he could explain what he meant, his cell phone rang. “I’m sorry.” He set down his mug and then held up one finger. “Excuse me.”
Claire watched him pull the phone from his pocket with annoyance, but after raising his eyebrows at the caller, he answered, “Hello? Yeah? Really?” He glanced her way and then said,“You’re kidding. No.Yeah, sure. I’ll tell her. Thanks, Danny.” After hanging up, Jesse looked at her as if not knowing just what to say but then cleared his throat. “That was Danny from the train station. Because of the backup at the airports, there’s going to be a train coming through here tomorrow morning to Denver. I can catch it and fly out from there.”
“What about the one for Atlanta?”
Jesse shook his head.“Not until Saturday.” He hesitated and then said, “But you could catch a flight out of Denver, too.”
“Jesse, I don’t fly—remember?”
“But if you did, you could make it home in time for Christmas Eve.You’re strong-willed. I’m sure you could do it. Take a pill or something.”
She frowned and plucked at the bedsheet with her fingers. The mere thought of getting onto an airplane made her sweat. “If it were that easy, I would.” Her sigh shook with emotion.
“But look, I know how much you want to get out of here, and I don’t want to hold you back. I’ll take the train to Denver and wait there until I can catch the one back to Atlanta. I can book a room and buy some essentials.”
“You’re sure? But you’ll be alone for Christmas.”
“It’s no big deal.” Claire pressed her lips together in an effort not to cry but somehow managed to nod and then waved her hand through the air. “I’m a big girl. I’ll survive.”
Jesse raked his fingers through his hair and seemed to be deep in thought for a moment, and she held her breath with hope. “Claire, I didn’t mean to sound flippant when I called this a holiday fling.What I meant was—”
“Jesse, don’t worry,” she interrupted.“I was just as much to blame.”
“I wasn’t trying to place blame.”
Claire forced a smile. “Well, just think, tomorrow this time you’ll be sitting on a sandy beach with a cold fruity drink in your hand. This little fling will just be a fond memory.”
“Claire—”
“I should get out of your hair and let you pack.What time should I be ready in the morning?”
He frowned. “Let’s go on out and eat the chili.We can talk about it over dinner. Maybe—”
“Thanks, but I’m still tired. I think I’m going to take a soak in that magnificent claw-foot tub.You go ahead and eat. If I get hungry, I’ll come down and help myself.” When he hesitated, she said, “Plus, I really have to call my parents and let them know what’s going on. Just wake me up in the morning.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “After a hot bath I’m likely to fall asleep.” He was silent for a moment, making her heart thud.“Okay, but if you need anything, let me know. I’m going to head outside and clear the road with my Bobcat. But I’ll have my cell phone on me. I’ll write my number down for you.”
Claire nodded but waited for him to leave the room before reaching for her clothes. Not wanting him to see the tears that she was trying desperately to hold back, she waited until she heard the door shut before she came out. She a
voided looking at the easel or the fireplace, and the spicy aroma of the chili made her stomach do a little flip-flop.
“Well, this day sure ended up sucking,” she muttered, trying to cling to her sense of humor but failing. She angrily swiped at a tear and then sniffed loudly. She reminded herself that she barely knew Jesse Marshall, but then again, it sure didn’t feel that way and she just couldn’t wrap her brain around never seeing him again. In a very short amount of time they had managed to have such an intense connection on so many different levels, and yet Jesse didn’t seem to have a problem heading to the beach and right out of her life.
Claire flipped on the light and then flopped down onto the bed. She stared up at the ceiling and wondered what to do while dreaded tears leaked out of her eyes. If this really were a Hallmark movie, at the last minute she would chase him down at the airport. Or better yet be sitting on the beach waiting for him when he arrived . . . “Where? I don’t even know where he’s going, and maybe he wants to keep it that way.”
Don’t be that girl, she thought. With an angry groan she pushed up to a sitting position and shoved her hair out of her eyes.“Get your sorry-ass self under control!” she muttered, and was thinking about that soak in the tub that she had lied to Jesse about when her phone rang. Mom? she thought with a wince, and then dug in her purse and glanced at the caller display.
“Chloe,” Claire said, relieved that it was her sister calling instead of her frantic mother.
“Where in the hell are you?”
Okay, maybe she wasn’t relieved. “Whisper, Colorado.”
“What?”
“Chloe, calm down.”
“Calm down? I arrived at the train station a little while ago to pick you up, and all that arrived was your suitcases!”
“Have you told Mom and Dad?”
“No! But I was very close to calling the police! Claire! Dear God, my heart is hammering out of my chest! If you hadn’t answered . . .”
“Chloe, I’m sorry. I forgot that I had asked you to pick me up.”
“And you apparently forgot how to use a cell phone! What in the world is going on?”
“You have to promise not to say anything to anyone about this.”
“Claire!”
“Promise, Chloe.You cannot blab this to a soul!”
“Are you in trouble?”
Claire snorted. “No! I’m the good one.You’re the trouble-maker, remember?”
“Blah, blah, blah. Now spill.”
“I’m serious.”
“You’re never serious.”
“I am this time,” she insisted, and when her voice cracked, her sister finally remained quiet.
“Oh, Sis, tell me what’s going on. I promise not to leak a word to anyone.”
“Not even your current dude?”
“I don’t have a current dude.”
“But what about—”
“Stop! Just tell me why you’re in Whisper,Wyoming.”
“Colorado.”
“Whatever!”
Claire knew she had stalled long enough.“I missed the train.” “What!” Chloe shrieked.
“I was shopping,” she explained.
“Oh,” Chloe commented in a lower tone and with a bit more understanding. Shopping was in her blood also.“Go on.”
“I am going to tell you everything because I want your advice.Try not to interject too much and just listen, okay?”
“I won’t,” Chloe promised even though she was the queen of interrupters.
Claire settled back against the pillows. She started with the Santa statue and ended with the mug of tea, leaving out the details of their lovemaking but letting Chloe know that she had been intimate with a man she barely knew . . . but that it still somehow seemed a healing process that they both needed.
“Claire, you can’t let Jesse slip through your fingers. This is like a holiday love story. Hallmark . . . no, wait, Fa-la-la-la Lifetime.Those are steamier.”
Claire laughed without real humor. “More like a Nicholas Sparks novel . . . no happy ending.”
“But, Claire, you’re in charge of this ending.”
Claire closed her eyes and blew out a sigh. “If only it were that easy. We live so far away from each other and have totally different lifestyles.This is silly. I need to just give it up.”
“What, people don’t need their hair cut in . . . where are you again?”
“Whisper.”
“Why?”
“No, that’s where I’m at.”
“Gotcha.” Chloe laughed.
Claire smiled in spite of herself.“I miss you. How could I ever move away from my family? My work? And why am I even talking about this? He made it clear that this was just a holiday fling.”
“Duh, because he’s as scared and confused as you are.”
“Don’t ever say ‘duh’ again.”
“Duh,” Chloe repeated just as Claire knew she would. “Look, I love you, too, but if the man of my dreams comes along, I will live anywhere and you’ll just have to visit. And you’ve always disliked the stress of a high-end salon. What you’ve really enjoyed about cutting hair is interacting with the people. And you sound as if you love the cabin.”
“It’s all a moot point.”
“You don’t know that for sure. I just want to point out that this has the potential to work if you give it a chance.”
“No . . . seriously we’ve both been watching too many holiday movies. Listen, thanks for letting me bend your ear. Please let Mom and Dad know I’m stuck here.Tell them I have bad cell reception. I don’t have the energy to talk to them right now and I know I’ll start crying and then Mom will start crying and Dad will have a mess on his hands.”
“I’ll take care of it, sweetie. Call me if anything changes, okay?”
“I will, and thanks again. I love you.”
“Me, too.”
Claire ended up taking a long, hot, steamy bath after all. When she was toweling dry, she noticed several pink abrasions on her skin from Jesse’s stubble. She closed her eyes and felt a hot shiver at the memory but then pushed it aside and slipped beneath the covers. She felt a bit hungry but heard movement downstairs as if he was moving things around . . . probably packing, and so she opted to stay upstairs and after a few moments fell fast asleep.
Chapter Eleven
Oh, it just wasn’t fair. Claire had dreamed about Jesse off and on all night long, and this one was so realistic that she could actually feel his smooth skin and the cozy warmth of his body. In fact, she could even smell his woodsy, spicy scent....
Oh boy . . .
No way . . .
Claire’s heart hammered in her chest, and sure enough, when she opened her eyes a mere slit, she encountered wide shoulders and dark wavy hair. She had managed to hook one leg across his hips and one arm over his waist. She frowned while trying to figure out just how Jesse had ended up asleep next to her. She peeked beneath the covers. She was wearing his flannel shirt, and he was shirtless but in his sweatpants, and since there wasn’t any eggnog involved, she would surely remember....
Oh God. He shifted and her hand slipped lower, but she didn’t want to move and wake him until she remembered how in the world he ended up in her bed! The last thing she recalled was talking to Chloe. Frowning, Claire eased up just a tiny bit to sneak a peek over his shoulder at the digital clock on the nightstand. It was ten o’clock! What about the train? Should she shake him awake?
Claire inhaled a deep breath and blinked in confusion when she smelled cinnamon, coffee . . . and pine? Oh . . . she caught her bottom lip between her teeth when she spotted several pine needles caught in Jesse’s hair. Nothing was adding up, and when curiosity got the best of her, she whispered, “Jesse?”
He mumbled something and rolled to his back, causing the cover to slide. Her hand rested just beneath his belly button and she got an eyeful of his bare chest. Sexy dark stubble shaded his jaw, and damn if she didn’t have the urge to lean in and kiss him.
&nbs
p; “Jesse?” she repeated a little bit louder.
“Mm?”
“What time is the train leaving?”
“Eight,” he mumbled.
“Um, it’s after ten o’clock.”
Claire fully expected him to open his eyes and sit up straight in alarm. But he turned toward her and slipped one arm around her waist, drawing her closer. “’So-kay,” he mumbled again. “Go back to sleep.”
“But I smell coffee.Who made coffee?”
“Elves.”
“Jesse . . .”
“Anybody ever tell you that you talk too much?” He kissed her shoulder.
“Yeah, all the time. But—”
“You’re not gonna let me sleep, are you?”
She shifted so she could look at him. “What’s going on?”
He opened his eyes. “Come with me.” He rolled from beneath the covers and held out his hand.
Claire sat up and slipped her hand into his. She was full of questions but didn’t know where to begin, so she simply followed him out of the bedroom to the stairs. “Oh . . . my.” She put her hand over her mouth while she gazed at a magnificent Christmas tree decorated from top to bottom. Fingers of sunshine sliced through the window and glinted off the ornaments. “Jesse . . .” She tore her gaze from the tree and looked at him. “It’s breathtaking.You . . . you did this?”
He grinned. “I already told you. Elves. Little guys made all kinds of noise and kept me up all night.”
Claire pressed her lips together and swallowed hard. “Oh, Jesse . . .” When she tried to blink back tears but failed, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and swiped the moisture away with the pads of his thumbs.
He looked at her and said, “Last night when I was clearing the road with my Bobcat, the thought of escaping to the beach suddenly held no appeal. For the first time since the loss of my parents, I suddenly wanted to celebrate Christmas.” He paused to swallow and then said, “And I wanted to celebrate it with you.” He leaned in and kissed her softly.“Claire, you’ve brought joy and laughter back into my life. I have no idea how we’re going to make this work, but if you’re willing, I want to give it a shot.What do you say?”