"They'll still have Dateh," I said when the laughter had run out. I was tiring again. Sleepy. Not yet, though. If I didn't make this bargain with Shiny first, I would never wake up.
"With just Dateh's blood, they killed Role. With his power, they've captured others. Four times, Shiny! Four times they've taken my blood. How many more of your children have they poisoned with it?"
I heard the pause of his breath. That one had struck home, oh, yes. I had found his weakness at last, the chink in his apathy. Diminished and reviled and cold-blooded as he was, he still loved his family. So I readied my next lunge, knowing this one would cut even deeper.
"Maybe they'll even use my blood to kill Nahadoth."
"Impossible," Shiny said. But I knew him. That was fear in his voice. "Nahadoth could crush this world before Dateh blinks."
"Not if he's distracted." My eyes drifted shut while I said it. I could not open them, no matter how hard I tried. "They're killing the godlings to lure him here, to the mortal realm. Dateh kills them. Eats them." Madding's blood, running dark rivers down Dateh's chin as he bit into the heart like an apple. I gagged and fought the image back. "Takes their magic. I don't know how. How he." I swallowed, focused. "The Nightlord. I don't know how Dateh plans to do it. An arrow in the back, maybe. Who the hells knows if it'll work, but… do you want him to try? If there's even a chance he could… succeed…"
Too much. Too much. I needed rest and for no one to try and kill me for a while. Would Shiny let me have that?
One way to find out, I decided, and passed out.
***
I surfaced a little, bobbing beneath the threshold of consciousness.
Daytime warmth. More voices.
"… infection," said one. Male. Nice old gravelly voice like Vuroy's, oh how I missed him. More murmured words, soothing. Something about "seizure," "blood loss," and "apothecary."
"… necessary. There are signs…" Serymn. She had come to see me before, I remembered. Wasn't that sweet? She cared. "… must move quickly."
The gravelly voice rose and bobbed and dipped enough for me to hear one word, emphasized. "… die."
A long sigh from Serymn. "We'll pause for a day or two, then."
More murmurs. Confusing. I was tired. I slept again.
***
Night again. The room felt cooler. I opened my eyes and heard a harsh, ragged panting from the cot nearby. Shiny. His breath bubbled and wheezed strangely. I listened to it for a while, but then his breathing slowed. Caught once, resumed. Ceased again. Stayed silent.
The room smelled of fresh blood again. Had they taken more from me? But I felt better, not worse.
I fell asleep again before Shiny could resurrect and tell me what the Lights had done to him.
***
Later. Still night, but deeper into it.
I opened my eyes as brightness flared against them. I glanced over to see Shiny. He lay on the cot, curled on his side, still shimmering from his return to life.
I tried moving and found that I had more energy. My arm was still very sore, and thickly bandaged now, but I could move it. The straps were back in place and cinched tight across my chest and hips and legs, but the other wrist's cuff had been left loose. I easily slipped my hand free.
Shiny's doing? Then he had agreed to my bargain.
I unbuckled myself and sat up slowly, cautiously. There was an instant of dizziness and nausea, but it passed before I could fall on my face. I sat where I was on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths, becoming reacquainted with my body. Feet. Shaky legs. Diaper around my hips, thankfully clean. Slouched back. Sore neck. I lifted my head and it did not spin. With great care, I got to my feet.
The three steps from my cot to Shiny's exhausted me. I sat down on the floor beside the cot, leaning my head on his legs. He didn't stir, but his breath tickled my fingers when I examined his face. His brow was furrowed, even in sleep. There were new lines on his face, around his sunken eyes. Not dead, but something had taken its toll on him. He usually woke as soon as he came back to life. Very strange.
As I took my hand away, it brushed against the cloth of his smock. Cooled wetness startled me. I touched, explored, and realized there was a wide patch of half-dried blood all down the lower half of his torso. Pulling up his shirt, I explored his belly. No wound now, but there had been a terrible one before.
He stirred while I was touching him, his glow fading rapidly. I saw him open his eyes and frown at me. Then he sighed and sat up beside me. We sat together, quiet, for a while.
"I have an idea," I said. "To escape. Tell me if you think it will work." I told him, and he listened.
"No," he said.
I smiled. "No, it won't work? Or no, you'd rather kill me on purpose than by accident?"
He stood up abruptly and walked away from me. I could see only a hazy outline of him as he went to the windows and stood there. His hands were clenched into fists, his shoulders high and tense.
"No," he said. "I doubt it will work. But even if it does…" A shudder passed through him, and then I understood.
My anger roiled again, though I laughed. "Oh, I see. I'd forgotten that day in the park. When you started this whole mess by attacking Previt Rimarn." I clenched my fists on my thighs, ignoring the twinge from the injured arm. "I remember the look on your face as you did it. That whole time I was in danger, scared out of my mind for you, but you were enjoying the chance to wield a bit of your old power."
He did not reply, but I was certain. I had seen his smile that day.
"It must be so hard for you, Shiny. Getting to be your old self again for so brief a time. Then it diminishes until there's nothing left of you but… this." I gestured toward his fading back, letting my disgust show. I didn't care what he thought of me anymore. I certainly didn't think much of him. "Bad enough you get a taste of it every morning, isn't it? Maybe it would be easier if you didn't have that little reminder of all you used to be."
He held rigid for a moment, his sullenness racheting toward anger in the usual pattern. Always predictable, he was. So satisfying.
And then, all at once, his shoulders slumped. "Yes," he said.
I blinked, thrown. That made me angrier. So I said, "You're a coward. You're afraid that it will work, but afterward it'll be like the last time-you'll be weaker than ever, unable even to defend yourself. Useless."
Again that inexplicable yielding. "Yes," he whispered.
I ground my teeth in thwarted rage. It gave me momentary strength to rise and glare at his back. I did not want his capitulation. I wanted… I did not know. But not this.
"Look at me!" I snarled.
He turned. "Madding," he said softly.
"What about him?"
He said nothing. I made a fist, welcoming the flash of pain as my nails cut my palm. "What, damn you?"
Infuriating silence.
If I'd had the strength, I would've thrown something. As it was, I had only words, so I made them count. "Let's talk about Madding, then, why don't we? Madding, your son, who died on the floor, killed by mortals who then ripped out his heart and ate it. Madding, who still loved you in spite of everything-"
"Be silent," he snapped.
"Or what, Bright Lord? Will you try to kill me again?" I laughed so hard that it winded me, and I had to gasp out the next words. "Do you think… I care… if I die anymore?" At that I had to stop. I sat down heavily, trying not to cry and hoping for the dizziness to pass. Thankfully, but slowly, it did.
"Useless," Shiny said. It was so soft, nearly a whisper, that I barely heard it over my own panting. "Yes. I tried to summon the power. I fought for him, and not myself. But the magic would not come."
I frowned, the back of my anger breaking. I felt nothing in its wake. We sat for a long while as the silence stretched on, and the last of his glow faded to nothingness.
Finally I sighed and lay back on Shiny's cot, my eyes closed. "Madding wasn't mortal," I said. "That's why your power didn't work for him."
&n
bsp; "Yes," he said. He had control of himself again, his tone emotionless, his diction clipped. "I understand that now. Your plan is still a foolish risk."
"Maybe so," I breathed, drifting toward sleep. "But it's not like you can stop me, so you might as well help."
He came to the bed and stood over me for so long that I did fall asleep. He could've killed me then. Smother me, hit me, strangle me with his bare hands; he had a whole menu of options.
Instead he picked me up. The movement woke me, though only halfway. I floated in his arms, dreamlike. It felt like it took much longer for him to carry me to my cot than it should have. He was very warm.
He laid me down and strapped me back in, leaving the wrist cuff loose so that I could free myself.
"Tomorrow," he said.
I roused at the sound of his voice. "No. They might start taking my blood again. We should go now."
"You need to be stronger." Unspoken, the fact that I would be unable to count on his strength. "And my power won't come at night. Not even to protect you."
"Oh," I said, feeling stupid. "Right."
"Afternoon would be best. The sun will be unobstructed by the Tree then; that may provide some small advantage. I'll do what I can to convince them not to take more of your blood before that."
I reached up to touch his face, then trailed my hand down to his shirt and the stiff spot there. "You died again tonight."
"I have died many times in recent days. Dateh is most fascinated by my ability to resurrect."
I frowned. "What…" But, no, I could imagine all too easily what Dateh had done to him. Searching my hazy memories of the days since Madding's death, I realized this was not the first time Shiny had returned to the room dead, dying, or covered in gore. No wonder there had been no reaction from our captors when I'd blown a hole in him myself.
There were so many things I wanted to think about. So many questions unanswered. How had I killed Shiny? I had had no paint that time, not even charcoal. Were Paitya and the others still alive? (Madding, my Madding. No, not him, I could not think about him.) If my plan succeeded, I would try to get to Nemmer, the goddess of stealth. She would help us.
I would see Madding's killers stopped if it was the last thing I did.
"Wake me in the afternoon, then," I said, and closed my eyes.
14
"Flight" (encaustic, charcoal, metal rubbing)
THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS.
I woke only gradually, which was fortunate, or I might have stirred and given myself away. Before I could do that, someone spoke, and I realized Shiny and I were not alone in the room.
"Let go of me."
My blood chilled. Hado. There was tension in the air, something that vibrated along my skin like an itch, but I did not understand it. Anger? No.
"Let go, or I call the guards. They're right outside the door."
A quick sound of motion, flesh and cloth.
"Who are you?" That was Shiny, though I hardly recognized his voice. It trembled, wavering from need to confusion.
"Not who you think."
"But-"
"I am myself." Hado said this with such savagery that I nearly forgot myself and flinched. "Just another mortal, to you."
"Yes… yes." Shiny sounded more himself now, the emotion cooling from his voice. "I see that now."
Hado drew in a deep breath, as shaky as Shiny's voice had been, and some of the tension faded. Cloth stirred again and Hado came over to me, shadowing my face. "Has she shown any sign of recovery today? Spoken, maybe?"
"No, and no." Stiffer than usual, even for Shiny. The White Halls taught that the Bright Lord could not lie. I was relieved to hear that he could, though it plainly did not suit him.
"Everything is different now. They'll begin taking blood again tonight. Hopefully she's strong enough."
"That will likely kill her."
"Look outside, man. Two weeks have passed since Role died. Two weeks until the Nightlord's deadline-as he has so dramatically decided to remind us." He uttered a soft, humorless laugh. I wondered what he meant. "Dateh has been a man possessed since he saw it. There's no hope of my dissuading him this time."
Hado's hand stroked my face suddenly, brushing my hair back. I was surprised at such a tender gesture from him. He hadn't struck me as the type for tenderness, even to this small degree.
"In fact," he continued with a sigh, "if her mind doesn't return-or hells, even if it does-I fear he'll take all her remaining blood, and her heart, too."
Goose bumps prickled my skin. I prayed that Hado would not notice.
He touched the buckle across my midriff, silent now with his own thoughts-and showing no inclination to leave. I began to worry. The sunlight felt strange on my skin. Thin, sort of. Did that mean it was late afternoon? If Hado didn't leave soon, the sun would set and Shiny would become powerless. We needed his magic for this to work.
"You are not quite yourself," Shiny said suddenly. "Something of him lingers." Hado stiffened perceptibly beside me.
"Not the part that gives a damn about you," he snapped, and got up, stalking toward the door. "Speak of this again and I'll kill you myself."
With that he was gone, closing the door rather harder than necessary. And then Shiny was there, yanking at my midriff strap so roughly that I yelped.
"This place has been chaos all day," he said. "The guards are on edge; they keep checking the room. Every hour some interruption-servants bringing food, checking your arm, then that one." Hado, I gathered.
I pushed his hands away and fumbled with the midriff strap myself, gesturing for him to work on the leg straps, which he began to do. "What's happened to get them all upset?"
"When the sun rose this morning, it was black."
I froze, stunned. Shiny kept working.
"A warning?" I asked. The words of the quiet goddess came to me, from that day in South Root. You know his temper better than I do. Not Itempas, as I had assumed then. With more of his children dead or missing, it was the Nightlord whose temper would be at the breaking point. Would he even wait the full month he had promised?
"Yes. Though it seems Yeine has managed to contain his fury to some degree. The rest of the world can see the sun clearly. Only this city cannot."
So Serymn had been right in her prediction. I could still feel sunlight on my skin, just weak. There must have been some light remaining, or Shiny wouldn't have bothered trying to free me. Perhaps it was like an eclipse. I had heard those described as the sun going black. But an eclipse that lasted all day and moved with the sun across the sky? No wonder the Lights were a-tizzy. The whole city would be in a panic.
"How much time until sunset?" I asked.
"Very little."
Gods. "Do you think you'll be able to break that window? The glass is so thick." My hands would not work as quickly as I wanted; I was still weak. But better than I had been.
"The cot legs are made of metal. I've loosened one of them, which should serve well as a club." He spoke as if that answered my question, which I supposed was an answer in itself.
We got the straps undone and I sat up. There was no dizziness this time, though I swayed when I stood. Shiny turned away from me, and I heard him positioning the table in front of the door. This was to delay the guards, who would enter as soon as they heard Shiny break the window. Every second would matter once we began.
There was a quick grunt from him, and a metallic groan as he worked the loose leg off his cot. As quietly as he could, he moved the broken cot in front of the door, too. Then we went to the window. I could still feel sunlight on my skin, but it was weak, cooling. Soon it would be gone.
"I don't know how long it will take for the magic to come," he said. Or whether it will come at all, he did not say, but I knew he thought it. I was thinking it myself.
"So I'll fall for a while," I said. "It's a long way down."
"Fear alone has killed mortals in moments of danger."
The anger I'd felt since Madding's death had never
gone away, just quieted. It rose in me again as I smiled. "Then I won't be afraid."
He hesitated a moment more but finally lifted the cot leg.
The first blow spiderwebbed the window. It was also so loud, echoing in the partially emptied room, that almost immediately I heard men's voices through the door, raised in alarm. Someone fiddled with the lock, rattling keys.
Shiny drew back and heaved the cot leg forward again, grunting with effort as he did so. I felt the wind of the leg's passing; a truly mighty blow. It finished the window, knocking out several large pieces. A startlingly cold wind blew into the room, plastering my smock to my skin and making me shiver.
The guards had gotten the door partially open but were impeded by the table and cot. They were shouting at us, shouting for aid, trying to jostle the furniture out of the way. Shiny tossed aside the cot leg and kicked out as much of the glass as he could. Then he took my hands and guided them forward. I felt the cloth of his smock, removed to cover the jagged edges along the bottom sill.
"Try to push out, away from the Tree, as you jump," he said. As if he told women how to leap to their deaths all the time.
I nodded and leaned out over the drop, trying to figure out how best to push off. As I did so, a breeze wafted up from below, lifting a few stray strands of my hair. For an instant, my resolve faltered. I am only human, after all-or mortal, if not human.
Deliberately, I summoned the image of Madding as he had gazed at me in that last moment. He had known he was dying, known that I was the cause-but there had been no hatred or disgust in his expression. He'd still loved me.
My fear faded. I moved back, away from the window.
Shiny said over the guards' shouts, urgently, "Oree, you must-"
"Shut up," I whispered, and took a running dive through the opening, spreading my arms as I flew into the open air.
Roaring wind became the only sound I could hear. My clothes flapped around me, stinging my skin. My hair, which someone had tied back into a puff in an effort to control it, broke the tie and clouded loose behind me. Above me. I was falling, but it did not feel like falling. I floated, buoyed on an ocean of air. There was no sense of danger, no stress, no fear. I relaxed into it, wishing it would last.
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