Galen caught her hand and pulled her close. “Oh yes, it would hurt, but we’d make sure you’re ready and in the moment, the pain will be welcome. It would drive you even higher.”
Brooke shook her head. She wasn’t prepared to go there.
“What about another link? If you fuck Nikolai and Nikolai fucks me? That way we’re all connected.” She drew marks in the air around the last word.
Galen eyes sparkled. “That would be another way to try it.” She studied his expression. “Why haven’t you suggested it?” He caressed her cheek. “Baby, why do you fear anal penetration so much? You enjoy watching Nikolai and myself, why not take that pleasure for yourself? Is it really only the pain?”
Brooke’s gaze dropped.
Galen was too perceptive. On top of not wanting to talk about this, she feared that if she looked him in the eye, he might see her fear of them breaking her heart.
She crossed her arms and walked up to the big window. “Good girls don’t enjoy anal sex,” she whispered. “Good girls don’t enjoy sex at all, let alone voice what they want.”
“What a relief then that you’re no good girl.” Nikolai’s laughing voice came from behind.
Brooke couldn’t suppress a flinch.
“Ignore the idiot in the room.” Galen stepped up to her, but didn’t force her to look at him. “Who told you good girls don’t enjoy sex, Brooke?”
“My mother.”
Galen gently stroked her nape. “What did she do, baby?” Brooke closed her eyes, keeping the tears inside, keeping the pain inside.
“I’m sorry, Brooke, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Tell us, milaya.” Nikolai came up next to her and slowly stroked his hand down her back.
A stabbing pain shot through Brooke. She couldn’t share this with them. Why in the solar system had she brought it up?
“We can only help if we know where the wound is,” Galen said.
A tear escaped and trickled down her cheek. She’d thought she was over this, she’d really thought her memories no longer held her prisoner.
She wiped away the tear and faced the men. “No big deal, just an old issue I’m struggling with.” She put on a fake smile. “Let’s try the other way of linking the three of us.”
Storm clouds gathered in Nikolai’s eyes. “That’s it? You’re not going to tell us what’s holding you back?”
“There’s nothing to tell,” Brooke said. “I’ll get over it.” 62
Nikolai snorted in disbelief and grabbed her chin. His silver eyes bore into hers as if he tried to dig into her thoughts.
Brooke patted his cheek and stepped away from him. “We’ll be in Abanthe’s orbit tomorrow. If you want to fix me, we have to try this today.” Nikolai looked at Galen with his eyebrows raised. Galen sighed and rubbed his face. “Double penetration, but with one of us being the filling.”
“Why?”
“I’ve theorized that to circumvent her shield, we’ll have to all be touching at the same time, but more than kissing or oral sex.”
Nikolai thought for a moment and shrugged. “It’s worth a try,” he finally said.
Now it was Brooke’s turn to frown. “Why are you so certain it’s not going to work?”
Nikolai crossed his arms. “We’re trying to get past your shield. If I had to make a guess, I’d say you have to be the filling in the sandwich.” Brooke paled. “Let’s see if this works.” Her lips trembled when she tried to smile.
“It’s something we haven’t tried before.” She laughed, but even to her ears it sounded hollow. “I hadn’t thought that was possible after the last few days.” Her cheeks ached from the big smile she plastered on.
Neither man moved.
Brooke’s smile died. “What’s the matter?” Her arms crossed over her chest, making a shield against them. She cleared her throat. “You don’t want to try it?” Galen rubbed his face again. “Brooke, darling, we’d love to try it, but this doesn’t feel right.”
Brooke’s heart raced. Could she tell them? “Why do you think you need to know?” Nikolai cursed. “We care for you. It’s fucking obvious something happened that damaged your sexuality, something you’re not letting go. We want to help.” Brooke swallowed. “You care for me?”
Nikolai threw his hands up in the air. “Of course we do. Haven’t we shown you every day, with every touch how important you are?” Memories of their lovemaking flashed through Brooke, the care, the tenderness, the utter commitment to give her more pleasure than she could have ever imagined. She realized they’d never excluded her. Even when they made love in front of her, it was for her entertainment and they’d pulled her in the act somehow. They’d never cuddle with her on the outside.
Her heart rate increased and butterflies danced through her stomach.
Brooke understood that in her need to protect herself, she’d been blind to what they’d showed her.
They weren’t only fucking her.
63
But what did it mean? What if she saw too much, what if they only wanted her as a friend with benefits, what if they were going through a phase?
What if?
Both men studied her in silence. Nikolai’s silver eyes still showed storm clouds, but there was a hint of worry. Galen’s blue eyes reflected the lights of the hyperspace window, but behind his calm demeanor lay a touch of vulnerability.
If she wanted more, she had to risk baring herself.
Brooke slowly dropped her arms to her side and raised her chin.
There was only one choice.
“I never knew my father, he died when I was little. My mother and I were never very close. We lived in a small community on a podunk moon, where nothing exciting ever happened. Everybody knew everybody’s business.” She clasped and unclasped her hands, her stomach churning.
“A couple of months before my eighteenth birthday I became close with one of the boys. Henry, he was a classmate. I was a late bloomer and he knew exactly which buttons to press. I fell for him hard. We started to hang out and the more we did, the more we wanted. We experimented, seeing what we enjoyed, what the other enjoyed,” Brooke began.
It was as if for a moment the universe held its breath.
Both men slumped. Nikolai grabbed her wrist and dragged her to their cabin. “I need to touch you,” he grumbled. For a second Brooke thought he wanted to make love, but when Nikolai pulled her down on the bed, spooning around her back and Galen hugged himself against her front, she understood they offered support.
Touched, she closed her eyes for a second.
“My mom wasn’t too happy about my relationship, but she knew we couldn’t do much without anybody finding out. It’s tough to do more than kiss when all eyes are on you.” She scoffed, playing with a button on Galen’s suit. “Fat lot they knew. Henry had been around the block a few times and knew all the secret hideouts. He wanted more and I thought I loved him.” Galen gave her a gentle kiss on the lips and Nikolai stroked her hair, which helped to shake off some of her anger and disgust at her naivety.
“Henry wanted sex, but we had no way to get ahold of reliable contraception without it getting back to my mom. He said we didn’t need any, but I managed to cling to a little of my common sense.”
Brooke stopped talking.
“He pushed you into anal sex,” Nikolai whispered against her neck, his arm around her waist tightened. The strong grip gave her a feeling of security.
She nodded. “It was a way to have sex without the risk of pregnancy.” When she remained silent, Galen caressed her cheek. “He didn’t know what he was doing?”
64
She snorted. “That would be an understatement. He told me he’d done it before and I trusted him. We used my facial moisturizer as lubricant and he paid no attention to me. Foreplay didn’t belong in Henry’s vocabulary.”
“He hurt you.” Nikolai’s words were a statement, not a question.
Brooke nodded. “I believed the best way to sh
ow my feelings was to give him my body, make him happy.”
“What else?” Nikolai asked when she remained silent.
She closed her eyes. “He wouldn’t stop,” she whispered, humiliated by her stupidity. “It hurt so bad, but when I told him to stop, he ignored me. Afterward he’d say it would get better if I relaxed, I was too tense.”
“Scecxi,” Nikolai muttered, pressing even tighter against her back.
“I was stupid. Instead of learning from my experience I believed him. I let him do it again and again. It never got any better for me.”
“You trusted him, you wanted to share yourself with him,” Galen said.
She cuddled closer. “It wasn’t so much the physical pain, but I felt so helpless. I lay there, on my stomach, and let him use me. Because I loved him, I handed over all control.”
The men shared their warmth, their presence soothing a wound Brooke thought she’d left behind years ago.
“Something else happened,” Nikolai said.
Brooke kept her eyes closed, the wetness behind her lids hidden. “He bragged to his friends how he was doing me up the ass. One of the old biddies overheard and ran to my mother. She freaked out and dragged me to her gynecologist to get confirmation that I was still a virgin so I wouldn’t dishonor her when I got married. Of course I was, but he confirmed the anal sex—”
“He told your mother his findings?” Galen interrupted, his body tensing. He pulled her closer. “Has he never heard about confidentiality?” Brooke laughed bitterly. “He saw it as his duty to turn me off my sinful path.
Having the doctor’s verification made my mother nearly hysterical. How could I have done something so disgusting and horrible? How could I have shamed her in this manner? There were no repercussions for Henry. I was the one everybody held responsible.”
“What did you do?” Nikolai kissed the back of her neck.
“I tried to live up to her expectations. While I was with Henry I relinquished control and let him do whatever he wanted because of an emotion. That scared me. From the moment we came back after the visit to the doctor, she couldn’t look me in the eyes without revulsion. She reiterated the fact how disgusting and dirty anal sex is every time we sat down for a meal. If something is beaten into you for long enough, part of you begins to believe.”
65
Galen kissed her, his tongue exploring and teasing. “She is wrong,” he whispered against her lips.
“I know. I’ve learned to shut out her voice and enjoy sex. Jade, over the last few days I’ve had more orgasms and fun than ever before.”
“But something about anal sex still has your mother in your head,” Galen said.
She rubbed her cheek against his chest, wallowing in his delicious sunshine scent, as she nodded. “Yes, both she and Henry ghost through my mind. It’s not something I’d expected, I thought I’d gotten over this little hitch.” She kissed both of them. “I love watching you two together.”
“But you’re scared of the actual act,” Nikolai said.
Brooke nodded again. “Every time I think I’m there, I remember the feeling of lying on my stomach, face pressed into the cover after giving up control. I see her face, hear her voice in my head. I have no idea how to push it all aside.”
“How did you get away from her?” Galen asked.
“I turned eighteen and graduated. The Merchant Academy sent a recruiter to the outposts and I signed up immediately. After I began my training as a pilot, I never saw her again.”
“Sounds like the next time we have to keep your mind busy and concentrated on us rather than the past,” Nikolai said.
Brooke grimaced. “I’m not sure it’s going to be that easy,” she mumbled.
Galen kissed her. “If you give us permission, we could push you through, ignore your hesitation and help you enjoy it,” he said.
Brooke stiffened. She was uncertain how she felt about that suggestion. Her eyes blurred. “I’m not sure,” she whispered. “Do we have to?” Galen caressed her lips. “We won’t do anything you don’t like.” Nikolai’s hand petted her stomach. “How about we throw a touch in here and there and you try to be open to it, but nothing until you’ve had time to think.” A tear trickled down Brooke’s cheek. “Do you really think connecting the three of us that way is the only way to break my shield?” She couldn’t make up her mind.
Watching them together was one of the most erotic acts she’d ever imagined, but allowing their touch would mean being helpless again.
“Not to break your shield, but to get inside it,” Galen corrected. “We don’t want to destroy it or hurt you. We need to be behind it, to see.” Another tear dropped. Nikolai wiped it away. “Milaya, don’t cry. We’ll find a solution. Let’s grab a nap, something we haven’t been doing very much lately.” Galen leaned across and locked lips with Nikolai. “Excellent idea. It’ll give my dick opportunity to rest and recuperate. Both of you have worn me out.” He instructed the comp to dim the lights, kissed Brooke and rested his hand on Nikolai’s hip, connecting all three of them in one of their favorite positions.
66
Chaos whirled through Brooke’s mind, flashbacks to her time with Henry, images of her mother, of the few men she’d shared her body with only to discover they had nothing in common, as well as snapshots of the last two weeks.
She couldn’t focus on one thing and wanted to crawl under the men’s skins, disappear from the universe to not have to make a decision.
“Rest, milaya.” Nikolai nibbled at her nape.
Brooke closed her eyes and exhaled in an attempt to release some of the tension.
Slowly their warmth seeped into her and her body relaxed. Her brain, however, wouldn’t shut up.
Nikolai moved his hand across her stomach. “Concentrate on my hand and on my voice, nothing else,” he instructed. He gently caressed her and murmured soft words.
She clung to his touch and lost herself in his rich voice.
Brooke fell asleep.
Galen caught Nikolai’s eyes across Brooke’s head. Part of me just wants to hold her and not have to push her where she doesn’t want to be.
Nikolai nodded. You know we can’t let this go. We’ll be over Abanthe tomorrow. If we want any chance to track down the slavers, we need her to remember. We may already be too late.
Galen cupped Brooke’s cheek and stroked it. I don’t want to hurt her.
Nikolai leaned across and grabbed Galen by the neck. We won’t. We have close to a day. Let her catch a nap and then we’ll drown her in so much pleasure she can’t help but focus solely on that.
Galen’s hand curled around his lover’s wrist. She has to agree. Nothing else is allowed.
This is her decision. Nikolai could be ruthless when the situation called for it, but this was too important. She has to want it.
Nikolai grimaced, but nodded.
67
Chapter Seven
Brooke woke up, her body on fire. Galen lay behind her, massaging her breasts.
Nikolai worked his way down the front of her body, nipping, sucking, kissing, hitting every sensitive spot they’d mapped out over the last few days.
Galen petted her until he reached her pussy. These two had her responding to the slightest touch. He stroked through her wet folds.
Her clit grew sensitive.
She wanted to hook her upper leg over Galen’s to make entry easy, but he used his legs to keep hers in place.
Jade, they’d torture her for hours before they’d allow her to climax. They’d done it before and she’d nearly passed out.
Galen thrust his finger inside her, making her squeak, as she hadn’t anticipated it.
The squeak became a moan. His thick finger made her toes curl. It was rougher than his cock, priming her sensitive walls.
Nikolai latched on to one nipple. Where Galen was gentle, not using the pressure she needed, Nikolai sucked her nipple as if he wanted to pull it off her breast.
The line between pleasure and pain wavered, leaving Brooke uncertain on which side she stood.
Nikolai let go of the first nipple and moved on to the second.
Now Brooke experienced only intense delight.
Galen moved away a little and turned her.
Once she was on her back, he crawled between her legs, his big cock bumping her upper thighs. He didn’t continue his torture, but grabbed his thick shaft and lined the head up with her sensitive entrance. Galen thrust deep, catapulting Brooke into that pleasure-pain world Nikolai had set her up for. He gave no leeway, made no excuses, but pushed in until he hit her cervix and his balls bumped her ass.
Brooke panted, whimpered, once again not sure where delight started and agony ended.
She attempted to focus her vision when she saw his wings.
Her pussy gushed.
Every time he brought out his wings their lovemaking reached another plateau. The indescribable texture of the feathers drove every nerve ending to new heights.
She sensed movement on the bed. Nikolai had crawled behind Galen. She realized their plan.
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Nikolai ran his hands across the wings, making Galen lose his rhythm for a moment. The bottom ends of his wings trailed along Brooke’s upper thighs, adding another layer to the sensations shooting through her.
Galen pulled out and pushed inside her in the same moment Nikolai entered him.
Both men groaned. Galen threw his head back. “Jade, this is so good. We have to do this more often.” Sweat dripped from his chest. Seeing the expression on his face drove Brooke closer to the abyss. Her vagina had adjusted to Galen’s girth and she wanted more.
“Move, damn you, move,” she moaned.
Galen had never felt anything similar. Sex with Nikolai had been amazing from the very first time. Sex with Brooke had been like racing through space. Having both of them together was beyond his wildest dreams.
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