Brendan stepped away from her. Always when he’d come to her before, part of her body had been concealed, whether it be by clothing or the shadows of night. Only her black bra and panties and thigh-high stockings obscured his view now, and he wanted them gone as well.
“Undress,” he growled.
Jilly’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “No.”
“Yes! It’s an order. I order you to undress. If you can’t handle it, get out.” It was a test. One he knew she’d pass. She wouldn’t leave him. She wanted him, needed him, trusted him. Cared about him every bit as much as he cared about her.
Anger took over her expression and she fixed him with a burning glare. “Who the hell do you think you are? You can’t order me around!”
And he wouldn’t in the future. Just for tonight, until he uncovered the real Jilly. Just until she listened to what he’d brought her here to say. “It was part of the deal, remember? We play by my rules. If you want me, Jilly, then take off your bra and panties. You can leave the stockings on.”
“Such a fucking gentleman.”
The words were laced with loathing, but her fingers went fast to work, unhooking the back clasp of her bra and sliding the straps down her arms. The bra fell to the floor and the pale globes of her breasts sprang free, her nipples dark pink and fully aroused. The panties came next, down her long, slender legs. Then she was standing before him in his foyer, naked aside from the sheer stockings.
He moved forward and tugged her hair from its ritualistic knot. The honey-blond waves fell around her face to halfway down her back. The breath snagged in his throat. “You’re beautiful. Perfect.”
The resentment melted from her expression. Traces of the real Jilly shimmered in her eyes, in the softness of her face. She murmured an unsteady, “I’m not perfect.”
Brendan took a leisurely tour of her body, over the gentle swell of her breasts, down her waist to the treasure of damp curls covering her pussy. All the blood in his body jetted to his groin. His heart threatened to pummel out of his chest.
She was perfect. If not in character, then in appearance. Perfect for him.
He couldn’t stand here another moment not touching her, not taking her. He had to have her. Had to make the real Jilly come out completely and make her his for now and forever.
He jerked her into his arms and carried her to the nearest room with a flat surface, the kitchen. He set her down on the table and, gripping the globes of her buttocks, pulled her toward him until the wet heat of her sex brushed against the bulge of his cock through his pants.
He looked into her eyes, pouring every bit of the emotion he felt into hers, needing her to see the truth in his words. “You are beautiful, Jilly. Beautiful, warm and mine.”
She started to speak and he covered her mouth with his fingers. He shook his head and made a shushing sound as he pulled his hand away. He stepped back, far enough to work the pants and boxers down his thighs, then returned to her and pulled her flush against him again.
“You thought I was joking with you that first night when I said Peter Pan was one of my favorite movies. If the Captain Hook costume doesn’t speak loudly enough, then read my lips: I wasn’t joking with you, Jilly. It is. Along with a number of other classics Jillian probably thinks are too immature for a grown man to watch.”
She bit down on her lower lip and a thousand emotions he could never grasp raced through her eyes. “L-like Cinderella.”
“Yes. Like Cinderella. I love fantasies. How there are so few rules, so few expectations. How people can just be, just do what they want without having to face the firing squad for their actions. I used to think those movies were just fantasies. That two people who seemed different in so many ways and yet so much the same could never meet and fall in love in such a short amount of time. Or that someone who wasn’t looking for love or even believed it existed could magically find it all the same. I know now that they aren’t just fantasies, that things like that really do happen.
“I know that, Jilly, because you’ve taught me love does exist. It’s sitting right in front of me. I love you, Jillian Lowery, and whether or not you’re ready to admit it, you love me, too.”
Brendan was conscious of the tremor that shook through her, of the words she tried to speak. Before they could work their way out, he regained his hold on her bottom and slid her onto his shaft. Jilly’s mouth parted in an O and a stream of hot air whooshed from between her lips.
It was the real Jilly he held now, and he wanted to keep her this way forever, speechless and yet so expressive it took his heart away. He couldn’t do that. He could only do his best to convince her that his love was genuine, and hope after he’d told her the truth about the job that she’d be able to move past her disappointment and accept he’d never meant to hurt her.
He lifted her from the table and, relying on the strength of his thighs, thrust deeply into the silky moistness of her pussy. She started to speak. Once more he covered her mouth, kissing her hard while he milked her body with the force of his own.
Using his grip on her ass, he worked her up the length of his cock, then quickly back down, ensuring each thrust put pressure on her clit. The sudden widening of her eyes, followed by a breathy moan against his lips, told him how close she was to climaxing. It was a good thing because he was about to topple over that edge himself.
He quickened the pace, reveling in the sound of slick flesh slapping slick flesh. The spicy tang of sex filled the air. Each of her moans was met with an answering one of his. The pace became erratic, beyond his control. Shudders trembled through her and the muscles of her cunt contracted around his cock, pulling until he couldn’t hold back any longer. He gave into the pressure sizzling through his body, drawing his balls near painfully tightly and his blood to a frenzied state, and cried out first his love and then her name as he came inside her.
It hit Brendan like a fist to the gut that he truly had come inside her. He hadn’t even thought to use a condom. If this thing between them ended the way he wanted, it wouldn’t matter. But if it didn’t and their actions led to pregnancy, Jilly would have his head on a platter. Or possibly his balls.
Weak-limbed, he set her on the table and then fell into a wooden chair beside her, struggling to regain normal breathing. He wasn’t going to bring up their little oversight just yet. He had way the hell too much else to tell her first.
Jillian wasn’t sure she could breathe, and, as much as she’d enjoyed the sex, it wasn’t because of that. It was from Brendan’s admission of love. How could he honestly believe it? He’d guessed at the real her, but he had no way of knowing if his assumptions were accurate. “You can’t.”
He looked up at her and nodded. “Yes, I can. I do. I love you, Jilly.”
“Oh, God, you don’t even know me!” Clearly she hadn’t known him. Never in a million years would she have believed a man with his reputation would be into children’s movies. Would actually go so far as to dress up as a pirate and invite her over for fantasy sex. Where had he even gotten the costume? From the same box hers had come from would be the logical answer, but why had they been at Neilson’s in the first place?
Brendan stood. “I just told you I do, sweetheart. I showed you. How much more proof do you need? I love you.”
Jillian’s heart gave a fierce bump. She blinked back the emotions that stormed up her throat and into her eyes. Why did he keep saying that? Why did he sound like he meant it? “Why?”
He chuckled. “You haven’t exactly gone out of your way to make yourself likable, have you? Maybe that’s why. Maybe because for the first time in my life I’ve found a woman who doesn’t want me, and I’m infatuated by her.”
“I never said I didn’t want you.”
“You ordered me out of your house the moment I tried to get close to you, Jilly. I’d say that speaks for itself.”
She had done that, but she hadn’t wanted to. At least, not in retrospect and never deep down. “I was scared, all right. You’re not ex
actly known for getting to know the women you sleep with. When you wanted to know about me, I thought it was for the job. That you planned to somehow find a way to ruin my chances at winning the position.”
“I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t always been a saint, but how the hell could you think I’d sleep with you, let alone want pillow talk, for the sake of the job? I told you my first day at Neilson I’d win it fair and square.”
Jillian laughed at the confidence in his words. The way he’d sounded as if he’d already won the job. He was so arrogant, so damned sure of himself. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, he was also right. “I just…Things have happened.”
He smirked. “No shit they have.”
“I mean in the past. I didn’t want to make another mistake. I’ve worked so hard the last four years. I want that job so badly. I was afraid to mess up again.”
Brendan’s look softened. “What happened? Tell me. Please.”
It was time to do just that. If she was to believe him when he said that he loved her and believe the way he affected her own heart, then she had to trust him. “I will, but first I want to tell you other things. You’re right about me, Brendan. I’m not cold the way I pretend. I dress that way, act that way because I have to in order to make people respect me. But sometimes it makes me want to scream. Sometimes I feel like I might explode if the real me doesn’t come out.”
“Like at the reception?”
“Yes. That was the real me. At least until you mentioned you were moving here, and then I panicked. I was worried our paths would cross and you’d bring up my actions that night, that Larry would somehow find out.”
He frowned. “That makes no sense. Larry would be thrilled to know the truth about you.”
“No, he wouldn’t. He doesn’t like the wilder me. He depends on me being strong, reliable. The one person who doesn’t turn soft under pressure.”
“That isn’t how he feels at all, sweetheart.”
Jillian met his frown with one of her own. The conviction in his words was too strong for guessing, for even arrogance’s sake. It sounded factual. “Why do you think that?”
“Because he told me so. He thinks…he thinks you’re stiff, Jilly. That you hold people at too much of a distance and it affects the way they look at you, the way they treat you.” Something akin to remorse passed through Brendan’s eyes, and her body tightened with inexplicable anxiety as he continued. “He doesn’t believe someone with your personality would work well in a position of authority.”
Her belly knotted with his fast-fading tone. “What do you mean, ‘A position of authority’?”
“Someone who would have others reporting to them.”
He’d gone even quieter with those words, his look guiltier. She fisted her hands at her sides, struggling to remain calm when all she wanted to do was fling herself at him and pound her fists into his chest. What was he holding back? “What are you trying to tell me, Brendan?”
“I’m trying to tell you…I love you. I know you don’t want to believe it, but I do. Nothing I say or do will change that.”
She believed him, but that he even had to add those last words worried her beyond reason. Her heart sped. She gritted her teeth and curled her fingers tighter. “What in the hell are you saying, Brendan?”
“I’m saying that…I’m saying Larry gave me the job, Jilly. He gave me Donaldson’s position.”
Her frantic heartbeat died and she closed her eyes and breathed a sigh. He was teasing her. She felt ready to explode with anxiety and the big idiot was teasing her. “Nice try, but the proposals aren’t even due until Friday morning.”
Brendan’s guilty look grew with her playful tone. He shook his head. “I’m not joking. He didn’t wait for the proposals. At least, not yours. I turned mine in last Tuesday. Apparently, Larry approved of it. He pulled me aside last night and told me not to share the news yet, but that he was giving me the job. It’s the reason for the costumes. They’re for a party this weekend, a costume party that will give the Wild Side management a chance to mingle with the staff of—”
“No! I don’t believe you.” It was just a bad joke. It had to be a bad joke. “Larry wouldn’t do that to me. He’s a fair man. He would at least give me a chance. I’ve worked for that company for more than six years. The least I deserve is a chance.” Jillian’s voice shook as reality slammed into her and turned the knotting in her belly to painful cramping.
Oh, God, he wasn’t teasing her! Larry really had given him the job. “I deserved a chance. But he didn’t give that to me, did he? Instead he picked someone who’s worked for Neilson for less than a month. He’d rather have a damned outsider than me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want it this way. I never meant to hurt you, sweetheart. Never.”
He started to reach for her. Jillian batted away his hand and shot to her feet. Wet warmth gushed between her thighs. She acknowledged what the liquid was with an inward laugh. God, he had her head so messed up she hadn’t even noticed they’d forgotten to use a condom. It wasn’t a big deal since she was on birth control. The fact he didn’t know she was on the pill and had yet to speak up about the misstep, however, was a big deal.
Her emotions strung tighter than ever, she narrowed her gaze at him. He looked lost. As if he truly was sorry. She knew better, knew he wasn’t sorry. He didn’t know the first damned thing about the word. “You didn’t want it this way? If you didn’t want it this way, why did you even apply for the position? You wanted it, Brendan. From the moment you walked into Neilson’s boardroom and saw me sitting there, the one woman in your life to actually turn you down, you wanted it. The thing is, so did I. Enough that I was willing to do anything to win, including sleeping with the competition on the off chance I might learn a thing or two about his game plan.
“That’s why I was so afraid you’d use the things I revealed against me, because that’s exactly what I was doing with you.”
The sorrow in Brendan’s eyes fled in an instant, cold fury taking its place. “Bullshit. You’re lying again. You did not fucking sleep with me for the job.”
He was right. It had never been about the job. She’d slept with him in the beginning because she’d needed a chance to let the real Jilly out. That hadn’t been the reason she’d kept accepting him back into her home, though. That reason she’d never fully accepted until right now, as she realized how fickle his love and her own stupid heart were.
She crossed her arms over chest, suddenly too aware of her nakedness. “Not this time, Brendan. This time I’m telling the truth. I did do it for the job. If you don’t believe me, ask Tawny. It was her idea. Enjoy the ride, she said, and if I happened to get close enough to learn a thing or two about your plans to win the position, wouldn’t that be a nice side benefit? Only, it didn’t work. I didn’t learn a thing outside of the fact that you’re a demanding bastard no woman in their right mind would sleep with unless she had an ulterior motive.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw and his eyes darkened to near black. Her breathing grew hampered with the idea that he might grab her again. He didn’t move, but said in a ragged voice, “I don’t believe you, Jilly. I won’t. You’re too caring to do something like that. Too honest. You love me, just as I love you.”
She blinked with the effect of those words, the pain they squeezed at her heart. Some small part of her wanted to agree, wanted to say to hell with it and return to his arms—the part that hadn’t spent the last four years hiding her true identity in the hopes of repairing her past mistakes.
Jillian squared her shoulders and prayed her voice wouldn’t tremble. “If that’s what you want to believe, then believe it. Either way, I guess congratulations are in order. Way to go, Brendan. I wish you the best of luck. Now, you’ll have to excuse me. Ginger’s hungry and you know I hate to keep her waiting.”
6
T he last thing Jillian wanted to admit was that Brendan had been right about Larry. She’d been too tired and emotionally draine
d to bother with her dowdy clothes and severe hairstyle this week. She’d gone to work as herself. And Larry had complimented her on the change, not once but every morning when she’d arrived. Tawny encouraged her, too, as well as a handful of her other coworkers. And Brendan…
Brendan didn’t say a word. He didn’t even look her way.
People noticed. Even if she hadn’t seen the sidelong looks, she had ears. She heard the rumors. They thought Brendan had grown tired of her and moved on to his latest sexual conquest, and now she was dressing and acting differently in an attempt to get him back. They couldn’t be more wrong.
“I don’t want him back.”
“Right. You don’t, girl, and I enjoy spending my weekends home alone, reading romances and watching reruns I’ve seen a hundred times.”
Jillian jumped at the sound of Tawny’s voice. She spun in her office chair to find her friend sitting on the opposite side of the desk. She looked as dejected as Jillian felt. “You go out on the weekends.”
“Sometimes, but more often than not I only wish I did.”
“Oh.” She frowned. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I didn’t think you needed anything else to worry about. You’ve developed this mindset about the two of us the last few years. You’re the steady one, the rock. I’m the wild one who lives by the seat of her pants and never thinks twice about doing something—I just do it.”
Jillian couldn’t help but laugh with the irony in the words. “We used to be exactly the opposite, didn’t we? I was the wild one. You were the rock. What changed?”
“You.”
The one-word response tightened Jillian’s belly, and the emotions she’d done her best to move past pushed at the backs of her eyes as tears. It was the same reply Brendan had given for his changes. How could she be responsible for the way so many others acted? “Why would you change because I did?”
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