by Jamie Wesley
The hope, the sheer hope on Mack’s face hit him in the gut. God, what would it have been like to have Mack by his side from birth? He’d never know, but maybe…maybe it was time to put aside the anger. Maybe they’d never be close, but they could be something.
“And now?” Mack’s eyebrows drew tight together as he braced himself for Christian’s answer.
“I’ve been stubborn. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me for so many years. But I was hurting myself more, holding onto all that anger, letting it fester, and not letting it have any kind of positive resolution. Everyone kept telling me that you’re a good man, and I didn’t want to see it. Icing you out got harder and harder to do over the past week, even though I gave it everything I had.”
“Stubbornness runs in the family.”
Christian’s heart rate sped up at that word. Family. This man was part of his family. He no longer felt the need to run from that fact. He wasn’t ready to embrace it, but he could acknowledge it. He should acknowledge it.
“I can never apologize enough for what I did to your mom,” Mack said. “Nothing I say will ever make that right. I was young, stupid, selfish, and foolish.” His voice cracked. “I missed thirty years of my kids’ lives, and I’ll never get them back. That’s a burden I’ll have to take with me for the rest of my life.”
Christian took a deep breath. “I want to try. I want to try.”
Mack’s hands balled at his side like he was trying to stop himself from reaching out. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I don’t want guilt to guide your actions. If you don’t want to have anything to do with me, then I’ll have to live with that.”
The pressure on Christian’s chest lifted. “Yes, I guess stubbornness does run in the family. I’m not coming from a place of guilt. You know I have no problem telling you where to stick it. I’ve essentially done that for the past nine months and could easily continue to do so if that’s really what I wanted. It’s not. I want to try to build a relationship with you. I’m finally ready.”
Elise had been trying to tell him that life was composed of many shades of gray. She was right. Forgiveness was something he should offer. It was something he wanted to offer. Starting now. He grasped Mack around the shoulders and gave his father a hug for the first time in his life. An embrace that was a long time coming. It felt good. Right.
And he knew the person he most wanted to celebrate his new view of life with.
Chapter Fifteen
“He did what?” Elise’s voice rose on each word until she was practically shrieking. Christian hurried into his living room. He’d never heard her voice go that high. What was going on?
She paced back and forth, although pacing was too tame of a word for what she was doing. Her strides were long and angry, her shoes making clickety-clack sounds on the hardwood floor. At least she wasn’t yelling anymore. Not that the sounds of frustration she was making were much better.
“Okay. I’m on my way. I can’t let him screw this up.” She jabbed at the phone with her finger to end the call and growled again.
“Can’t let who screw what up?” he asked.
She whirled to face him, blinking like she’d forgotten he was there. “My father. I have to go. He flew out to meet with Drew Newsome without me, and I can’t let that happen.”
Christian frowned. “Is it that big of a deal?”
“Yes! He’s going to ruin things. My father has many strengths, but subtlety is not one of them. He’s going there to make demands, which I can guarantee you won’t work on Drew. I have to get out there before he ruins this deal.”
Incredulity swept through him. “You can’t leave.”
“Why not? My assistant is booking a flight as we speak.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “Are you serious? Did you forget that we have plans? We’re supposed to check in at a hotel, relax, and leave the distractions behind for the night. Remember that?”
She scrubbed her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. I know I promised, but I have to do this. Please understand.”
“Is it going to make a difference if you go tomorrow instead of tonight?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m afraid it will. I need to go tonight.”
The frustration he’d kept bottled up spilled out. “You’re always going to do this, aren’t you? Put work first, and keep your ‘friends with benefits’ at arms’ length.”
Elise sighed. “Be reasonable, Christian. I have to do this. I don’t understand why you don’t understand why this is so important to me.”
He knew he should slow down, calm down, but he couldn’t. “Maybe because the other reason we were going away tonight was to celebrate me getting through the interview with Mack. Remember that?”
Guilt clouded her eyes. “Christian.”
He held up a hand. “No. You were so consumed with work, you didn’t even ask me how it went. Because I don’t matter that much to you, right? You won’t let me, or anyone else, matter that much to you.”
Her hands balled into fists. “I made a mistake. You always want people to be perfect. If we don’t live up to the strict expectations that you set up for yourself and everyone else, then we’re a severe disappointment.”
He couldn’t stop his jaw from clenching. “If you want to look at it that way, then you’re certainly more than welcome to, but I can’t live like this. I lived this life once before, and it almost killed me. I’m not going to stand by and watch someone I care about live like that. Always putting work before everything else and hardening your heart against anyone who interferes with it.”
She sighed. “You’re exaggerating.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I am.” It hit him, then, that he’d been underestimating his own feelings toward their relationship. Hell, he’d been outright lying to himself. He wasn’t okay with keeping things casual. At all. When he’d made peace with Mack, she’d been the first person he wanted to share the news with. He wanted Elise, yes, but he also wanted more. “Tell me how you feel about me.”
“What?” Confusion dominated her tone.
And he was done.
Maybe it was the conversation with Mack that had him emoting all over the place. But he’d wanted more from her ever since they’d first met. He wasn’t going to let her keep him at arms’ length anymore. “Tell me you care about me. Tell me you want us to be more than just a fling.”
“I—” She looked away. He was pretty sure this was the first time she’d ever been unable to look him in the eye.
The pain stabbing his heart stunned him. “You can’t. You’re so determined to be a success, to show everyone who’s ever put you down for being a woman in the sports world that you have what it takes, you’ve closed yourself off from feeling”—he gritted his teeth, circling a hand in the air as he fished for the word he wanted—“anything. For anyone. For me.”
She reared back like he’d struck her. “If that’s what you think, fine. I have to go. This deal is important to me, and if you can’t understand why, then there’s nothing else for me to say.”
She grabbed her purse and stormed toward the door, but he stepped into her path. “I feel something for you, Elise. I feel a whole damn lot for you. But I can’t be with you if it’s going to be one-sided.”
Her silence was deafening in its quietness.
He moved aside. “Go. I won’t be here when you get back. This friends with benefits thing is over. You can find someone else to scratch that itch.”
Elise opened the door, turned to face him. “Christian…I’m sorry.”
“But not enough to stay and fight for us.”
“I can’t.” Her head bowed. “I don’t know how to.” She stepped through the door, closing it behind her.
He spied his suitcase out of the corner of his eye. He kicked it. It spun across the floor and came to a crashing stop against the wall, then toppled on to its side. Sad and listless.
Exactly the way he felt.
…
Elise
stared out the airplane window as the Sacramento skyline came into view. She’d always appreciated the view whenever she flew into the city. She barely saw it this time. Not with her fight with Christian running on a continuous loop in her head. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Why did he have to demand more than she was ready to give? Why couldn’t he understand how important this was to her?
Because I feel something for you. I feel a whole damn lot for you.
What a mess.
She tapped her fingers restlessly on the armrest, waiting for the plane to taxi to the gate. She was here now, and worrying about Christian and the fate of their relationship was not going to get this business deal done. She needed to worry about the fate of her potential work relationship with Drew. Would there even be a relationship to work out by the time she met up with him? Hopefully her father hadn’t done too much damage.
She was thankful yet again for her assistant when she found a car waiting to whisk her away to the hotel where her father and Drew were meeting. She checked her watch. They should still be there. Her source, her dad’s admin assistant, told her they’d arrived about thirty minutes ago. Google told her she was only about fifteen minutes away from the hotel restaurant. Not bad, but she could do better. She called out to the driver, “Hi, do you mind stepping on it? This is an emergency, and I need to get there ASAP. Within reason of course.”
“No problem, ma’am,” the driver said, and the car sped up.
She settled back in the seat and took a calming breath. What was she going to say to Drew when she arrived? What had her father said to him? Her dad was a take-no-prisoners type of businessman. That attitude had served him well, but Drew required a softer touch. Ultimatums wouldn’t work for him. Why couldn’t her dad understand that? She’d love to give Drew an ultimatum and get the result she wanted. She hated living in this limbo as much as her father did.
Five minutes later, the driver pulled up to the hotel. She quickly gave him a tip, hopped out of the car, and hurried inside the hotel, looking left and right for any sign of its world-famous restaurant. Something else her dad had gotten wrong. Drew wasn’t impressed with wining and dining. If he were, he would’ve signed with one of the teams that had employed that strategy in trying to sign him.
She spied a sign for the restaurant and hurried in that direction. Though she longed to barge inside, she slowed her stride as she approached the maître d’ station. The host could save her some time by pointing her to the right table. She smoothed her hair and offered up her most winning smile to the thin man at the podium.
“Hello, I’m here to meet with Dale Templeton and Drew Newsome. I’m Elise Templeton, Mr. Templeton’s daughter,” she added before he could lie and say they weren’t inside.
The host looked at her politely, clearly not inclined to provide any info. Elise heaved a sigh and rifled in her purse. She wrestled her driver’s license out of her wallet and thrust the card under his nose.
He maintained his disinterested expression. “Follow me, please,” he said, his tone as haughty as she expected it to be. They wove through the tables until she spotted her father and Drew tucked away at a table in a corner.
“Thank you. I can take it from here,” she said, stepping around him, and continued on her way. “Dad, here you are.”
“Elise, I didn’t expect you to be joining us,” Drew said, his voice as pleasant and welcoming as normal. Good. He didn’t sound mad. Hopefully that meant she could salvage this meeting.
She pinned a smile to her face. “I wouldn’t miss this for anything in the world.”
“It’s just you? No Christian?”
At the mention of the man she’d left behind, Elise’s smile froze. An invisible hand reached into her chest and twisted her heart. It felt strange—wrong—not to have Christian around. But what was done was done. She had to focus on business tonight.
“No, filming is over, and this trip was a spur-of-the-moment decision.” She turned to her father, her eyebrows lifted.
“Elise,” her father said stiffly. At least there was a hint of guilt in his voice mixed in with the “I know best” imperiousness. He had to know she wasn’t happy that she’d had to fly halfway across the country at a moment’s notice because he’d called a secret meeting with Drew.
A waiter brought her a chair and she sat. “Hello, gentlemen,” she said, shifting to a more comfortable spot on the leather chair. “What have you been up to?”
“We’ve been talking. Your father called earlier and said he had something urgent to discuss with me. He wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Drew said with just a hint of annoyance in his voice. At least it was only a hint and not full-fledged annoyance.
“Good,” she said. “Then I won’t feel like I’m playing catch-up with your conversation.” She accepted a menu from the waiter and opened it, trying to pretend like it was perfectly normal for her to show up out of the blue.
“So Drew, when are you going to make a decision?” her father asked, his patience clearly a thing of the past.
Elise snapped the menu shut, biting her lip to keep a growl from spilling out. No doubt the restaurant owners would frown on her killing her father in the middle of their establishment.
Drew, to his credit, remained unfazed. “When I feel the time is right. I still have some things to consider. Leaving California, leaving everything I know, isn’t easy for me, and I have to think about what’s best for my family and what’s best for me career-wise.”
“That’s certainly understandable,” she said before her father could offer a rejoinder. “We don’t want you to rush your decision.”
“Then why are we here?” he asked, his tone still friendly, a smile playing across his lips. “I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Because we deserve an answer,” her father said, his voice gruff. “And I’m tired of waiting for one.”
Elise worked to keep her voice pleasant. “What my father is trying to say is that we would love to have you as a member of the Stampede. Patience isn’t his forte, but we’ll wait until you make a decision.”
Drew looked at her with amusement. “Is that what he was trying to say? It didn’t sound like it. It sounded like he wanted me to make a decision right now at this dinner table.”
“He probably does,” she said with a chuckle. “But I’m the GM. I’m in charge of player personnel, so I’m the one you have to deal with on a regular basis, which means we can ignore my father and talk about whatever you want. We can talk about whether we should order the filet mignon or the chicken Parmesan. I’ve heard this place is one of the best restaurants in Sacramento. Have you ever eaten here before?”
Now respect joined the amusement in Drew’s expression. “I like you. You’re about business, but you understand how to tone it down when need be. This place isn’t really my style, but for some reason, people think I love coming here. I guess because the owners of my team brought me here after I was drafted. My agent always brings me here when he’s in town. It’s a myth that perpetuates itself. Anyway, because I have eaten here so much, I can say the steak is wonderful.”
Elise laughed, then glanced quickly over her shoulder. She leaned toward him and lowered her voice. “Just so you know, the Stampede play in Dallas, which is located in Texas, a state that knows a little bit about steaks, if that’s your thing.” She held out her hands. “I’m just saying. No pressure. Just pointing out a little something about the great state of Texas.”
His shoulders shook with laughter. “Okay, I’ll remember that.”
Elise breathed a sigh of relief. A phone beeped. Drew dug a phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. He looked up. “Sorry. I need to answer this. It’ll only take a second.”
“No worries,” she said.
Drew was a man of his word, only taking a few seconds to answer the text and then putting the phone away. “That was my mother. She had a doctor’s appointment today, and I told her to let me know how it went.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. She had her gallbladder taken out last year, and this was just a checkup.”
“That’s nice that you’re concerned about her. She’s lucky to have you.”
He shrugged. “I’m the lucky one. My dad died when I was two. She was always there for me. She still is. She’s why I haven’t made a decision yet. She wants me to do what’s best for me, but I want to do what’s best for her. I’m her only child. I don’t want to leave her alone. I don’t want her to feel like I’m abandoning her. That’s why I didn’t go far for college. We’ve always been a team.”
She nodded. She’d suspected there was a reason he was holding back on making a decision. Now she knew what it was. “I understand completely. I don’t talk about it much, but I lost my mom when I was eleven. It was incredibly hard for me. It still is. There are some things that you want to talk to your mom about, but I was incredibly lucky to have my father.”
Elise shared a look of mutual love with her father, a silent understanding that had been lacking in their relationship for far too long as far as she was concerned.
“That’s how I feel about my mom,” Drew said.
Elise patted his hand curled into a ball on the table. “I’m saying this as a person, not as a general manager. I’ll answer any questions you or your mother have about free agency and address any concerns she may have. I’ll tell her the pros and cons of switching teams. I’ll be as honest as I can. I want you and your mom to feel good about your decision, whatever it is. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”
“We both do,” her father said.
“Thank you,” Drew said simply.
…
After dinner, Elise rode back to the airport with her father. Silence lingered in the limo. She wanted to end it, but she had to figure out what to say first. And how to say it. She understood that he wanted the team to succeed, but he had to understand that she wanted the same thing. They couldn’t go on this way with him constantly undermining her. She was a grown woman who knew her own mind. A professional trying to do her job.
That’s what she needed to say. Right now.