‘My, my,’ said Martha when she had finished. ‘That’s some cake.’
‘The most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten,’ said Peggy.
‘Mmmm,’ said Irene. ‘We’ve a lot to thank the Americans for.’
Tony looked at their faces and laughed. ‘If you think that’s good, just wait’ll you taste our cheesecake.’
‘Cheese cake?’
He looked at their puzzled faces. ‘Well, maybe not,’ he said.
After dinner Tony and Pat went for a walk up the lane towards Carr’s Glen. There were forget-me-nots in the hedgerows and the sound of a blackbird singing its heart out close by. They sat on bank beneath a blackthorn covered in delicate, snow white flowers.
‘A day like this makes you glad to be alive, doesn’t it?’ said Tony.
Pat nodded. ‘We used to play up here when we were small.’
‘I bet you were the bossy sister, weren’t you?’
She laughed. ‘For a while, until Peggy got into her stride.’
They sat in silence, each with their own thoughts. After a few minutes Tony turned to her and his face was troubled.
‘I have to tell you something.’ He hesitated, searching for the right words. ‘Truth is, I found it so hard to come back here to you.’ The shock must have registered on Pat’s face. ‘Oh, please don’t look so sad, Patti, it wasn’t because I didn’t love you. It’s just that I can’t stop thinking that I don’t have any right to be happy, to marry the girl I love, to make a new life.’
‘Why would you think that?’
He closed his eyes a moment and when he opened them Pat could see his anguish.
‘Ever since I was captured I’ve been going over and over what happened to me. That terrible battle, all those men, good men, killed. And I’m still here. I should’ve died with them.’
Pat reached out to him. ‘Don’t say that. You can’t blame yourself. You were lucky, that’s all.’
‘Yeah, but why me?’ Tony shook his head. ‘Why did I get a second shot at life?’
‘Nobody can answer that question,’ said Pat. ‘You should be thankful. You’re here with your whole life in front of you.’
‘You know, I never stopped thinking about you when I was in the hospital and later in the camp. In a way you kept me going. I asked them to ship me back to England, but when I arrived … I don’t know, somehow it didn’t feel right to rush off and get married. The days went by and I was desperate just to see you again. That’s when I decided to take it one step at a time …’
‘And now you’re here and we’re doing all right, aren’t we?’ said Pat.
‘God, Patti, who am I trying to kid? As soon as I got off the boat I knew I didn’t need time to think about whether I wanted to marry you. I love you so much – you’re everything to me. But I can’t get rid of this feeling that I don’t deserve to be alive …’
Pat put her arms around him and in her desperation the words poured out of her. ‘Listen, you promised me you wouldn’t die, do you remember? You said you’d never leave me and that I had to trust you. And I did trust you even when people were saying you were dead. I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Can’t you see, you and I are meant to be together? I’ve never doubted that and neither must you. We’re bound together you and I. Remember, before you went away and we couldn’t marry, we said it didn’t matter because you are my husband and I am your wife? That’s the pledge we made and God spared us both because that’s how it was meant to be. Tony, I love you and I want to marry you and every day of our lives we’ll be thankful that you were spared.’
Tony looked into her eyes and knew she was right. He held her tightly in his arms and kissed her.
In the time it took to walk back to the house, the shape of their future was planned. They would marry on 8 May, less than a month away but enough time to post the banns and gain the permission of Tony’s commanding officer. Tony would write to his friend agreeing to join him in the homes for GIs project and suggesting that his new wife, who had all the relevant experience and skills, would be an asset to the business.
Chapter 40
Martha woke early and pulled back the curtains to see a clear sky that promised a bright and sunny day. Even after last night’s celebrations she found it hard to believe that the war was over. News that the Armistice had been signed had brought people out on to the streets. In Joanmount Gardens they had danced the conga and sung all those songs that had sustained them through the darkest days, about bluebirds and white cliffs and meeting again some sunny day. Bonfires had been lit in the streets off the Oldpark Road giving the sky an amber glow, and the sound of Belfast in celebration had lasted into the small hours.
Now it was 8 May, VE Day, and Pat and Tony were getting married. They could never have known a month before that they had chosen such an auspicious date and time. The service of thanksgiving in the cathedral would be over in time for their wedding and after the reception at the Imperial Hotel they would be able join the crowds outside the City Hall to hear the live broadcast of Winston Churchill’s speech.
One by one the girls came down to the kitchen for their breakfast. Pat was the first. ‘Did you sleep?’ asked Martha.
‘Hardly at all after the craic last night and heaven only knows what today will be like.’ She laughed. ‘The two biggest events of my life in one day, I won’t know what’s hit me.’
A sleepy Peggy was the next one down. ‘How far did you go with that conga?’ asked Pat.
‘Halfway to the City Hall, I think. My feet are killing me. There were so many on the streets and we were in and out of people’s houses.’
Irene and Alexander were the last up and the wee boy went straight to his gran and held his hands out to be lifted up. She balanced him on her hip and fetched his breakfast of mashed-up egg in a cup and while she fed him she watched the girls round the table, full of excitement and fun. She had never been so proud or so happy.
Sheila and Clemmie caught the early morning milk train from Londonderry and arrived in a city waking up to a new world. A two-day holiday had been declared and at that time of the morning the streets were deserted, although they bore the littered evidence of the huge crowds that had thronged there the night before. Sheila bought the Belfast News Letter with the banner headline, ‘A City Without Strangers’, to catch up on the news.
‘Looks like they had a hell of a party last night,’ said Clemmie.
‘And can you imagine what it’s going to be like today?’
‘Hope the boys made it here. Bet you can’t wait to see Philippe.’ She winked and Sheila thumped her on the arm.
‘Don’t you start all that again.’
By the time they arrived at the house, the preparations for four women and a little boy to get washed and dressed were well underway.
‘There’ll be a room for you two to get changed shortly,’ Martha told them.
‘We’ll just need a wash, Mammy. We’ve decided we’re going to wear our uniforms to the wedding.’ Martha looked surprised and Clemmie explained, ‘We figured it was the right thing to do, especially today. We’re proud to be in uniform and to remember all those who fought.’
Martha nodded. ‘It’s a lovely idea, so it is.’
Peggy had already changed into her bridesmaid’s dress and was upstairs helping Pat do her hair. ‘I think you made the right decision not to have a veil,’ she said. ‘The little spray matches your posy and shows off your hair.’ She fastened it with clips and arranged Pat’s hair on her shoulders. ‘You look so beautiful,’ she said.
Pat, sitting at the dressing table, looked up and smiled at Peggy in the mirror, but there was no smile on her sister’s face, only sadness.
‘What is it? What’s the matter?’
‘Nothing, I’m being silly.’
‘Tell me, Peggy, please.’
‘It’s just that I’m going to miss you so much when you go to America.’ Peggy bit her lip and there were tears brimming in her eyes.
Pat stood up and
put her arms around her sister. ‘I know … I know. I feel the same. Over these last few weeks since Tony came back I’ve wondered how I could possibly leave you all. What will I do without you?’ She tried to laugh, but it turned into a sob. ‘Who am I going to argue with about everything? Who’ll pinch my clothes now? And the music – oh, Peggy, the music …’
Peggy’s eyes opened wide in alarm at what she had provoked, and she gripped Pat’s arms. ‘Listen to me. We’ve had the best of it these last few years. Now there’s something even more wonderful that’s happening to you and you have to grab it with both hands. You’ll have a new life in the most exciting country in the world. Just think of it … America, like we’ve seen in the films – and the music we love will be all around you.’
Pat swallowed hard. ‘You’re right, Peggy, and the most important thing is that I love Tony so much. If it had turned out that he had died … Well, I don’t think I could have carried on without him.’
Peggy let go of her arms. ‘You have to go, Pat, it was meant to be.’
‘But will Mammy be all right?’
‘Of course she will. We’ll all look after her, don’t worry. She wants you to go. She told me, as long as you’re happy that’s the most important thing.’
‘Maybe I’ll be able to come back and see you all before too long. I’ll work hard and save up the money, so I will.’
‘Maybe,’ said Peggy.
‘I have something for you,’ said Pat and she handed her sister a thin leather box. ‘For being my bridesmaid.’
Inside was a gold locket. ‘Oh, I love it Pat, thank you so much.’
‘Wear it now, then,’ said Pat.
‘I will, I just have to do something first,’ she said, and from a drawer she took a handkerchief in the folds of which was a curled strand of hair, and she placed it inside the locket. ‘Esther’ was all she said.
Everyone was waiting for them in the front room and, when Pat came in followed by Peggy, everyone clapped. They loved the dress and the posies and everyone said how beautiful Pat looked.
Betty and Jack arrived with their camera and suggested a photograph before they left for the church and they went into the garden and arranged themselves in a group. Pat in the centre in her lavender wedding dress with a posy of violets and paper-white narcissi. Peggy next to her in the dress Irene had worn for her wedding, altered again, at Peggy’s insistence, to give it more style. Sheila and Clemmie in their uniforms on the other side of Peggy, and Martha in her Sunday-best coat and a hat that was a testimony to the ingenuity of Make Do and Mend, next to Pat with Betty beside her. The two men – John McCracken, who was to give Pat away, and Goldstein, an unlikely but willing best man – stood in the back row behind Pat and Peggy.
Pat, Peggy and John were the last to leave the house and, as the wedding car came closer to the town, people were crowding the pavements. ‘It’s like the Twelfth of July,’ said John.
‘There’ll be plenty more than that when we get a bit closer,’ said Peggy. ‘VE Day – everybody’ll be on the streets.’
Further on, people were strolling down the road in the holiday sunshine and the car slowed to a crawl. Pat became increasingly anxious. ‘I’m going to be so late,’ she said, and moments later she gathered up her dress and, posy in hand, she was out of the car and weaving through the crowds. Peggy and John stared at each other in amazement, then Peggy too was out of the car. ‘Come on,’ she shouted, ‘we need to catch up with her.’
The sight of a bride in the midst of the already excited crowd brought an immediate response. People parted to let her through, some clapping, others shouting their congratulations. Someone called out, ‘All the best to ye, love. Ye’ve picked a quare day for it!’
The crowds were thicker now as they came towards York Street, and their progress slowed. Then from behind them they heard singing, and the crowds parted to reveal dozens of marching children, each waving a Union Jack, all singing in defiance: ‘Hitler thought he had us with his Ja Ja Ja.’
‘Quick, tag on behind them,’ shouted Peggy, and they followed in the wake of the procession all the way to the cathedral.
Pat stood at the end of the long aisle. The sublime organ music began and John patted her arm. ‘Are you ready?’ She nodded and stepped out with her right foot for luck. Faces turned towards her: there were her friends from the Barnstormers’ troupe and, further on, colleagues from the office at Stormont. She passed the spot where Captain Joe Walters had reassured her that Tony would be safe, and she sent a silent prayer that Joe too had come through the war. There was her family: Irene, Sheila, Aunt Kathleen, Aunt Anna, Grace and Aggie. And there was Mammy wiping her eyes and the smile on her face made Pat’s heart ache.
Tony stood with his back to her. She fixed her eyes on him: the smart uniform, broad shoulders and neatly-cut dark hair. She was within touching distance when he sensed her there and turned towards her. She saw the love in his eyes and her heart leapt. She would never be parted from him again …
They came out of the cathedral to the sound of bells ringing and a sizeable crowd, attracted by the noise, had gathered to see the wedding party as though it was part of the day’s tapestry of rejoicing. Jack took pictures of the guests and the bride and groom before they set out to walk up Royal Avenue to the hotel.
Union Jacks and Stars and Stripes were everywhere: in people’s hands, hanging from windows or as bunting strung across buildings or fluttering from lamp post to lamp post. In the carnival atmosphere the relief and joy was there in every smiling face. Factory, shop and office girls in their summer dresses linked arms with friends or sweethearts, elderly couples strolled along as though it was a Sunday afternoon, even the babies’ prams sported red, white and blue ribbons.
Pat and Tony, followed by the rest of the wedding party, made their way through the crowds and people turned to look at them in surprise and delight. Sheila and Philippe, and Clemmie and Brad walked behind the others catching up and enjoying each other’s company.
‘It’s great to see you again.’ Philippe took Sheila’s hand.
‘I was so worried you wouldn’t be able to come,’ said Sheila.
‘Are you kidding? I’d have gone through hell or high water to get back here to see you – and it very nearly came to that.’ He gave a half-laugh and she could see he was thinking whether or not to go on.
‘Why, what happened?’
‘Took some flak coming back from a raid in Germany a couple of weeks ago – engine on fire – but I thought I might just limp home.’ He shook his head. ‘I knew I was pushing my luck, but then the strangest thing …’
‘What happened, Philippe?’
‘I was trying really hard to keep the plane in the air when out of the blue I remembered the last words you said to me …’
Sheila stopped walking and looked up at him. ‘Just remember your training and you’ll be fine,’ she said.
‘Oui, that’s it exactly.’ His eyes were wide with the memory. ‘Right then, I knew I had to bail out.’ He shook his head. ‘You know, Sheila, I always thought you brought me luck, but that was the tightest spot I’d ever been in and it was like your voice just cut through all the noise in my head and told me what I had to do.’
He touched her hair as he always did for luck, then kissed her. ‘See, I always said we were connected and now I’ve found you, I’ll never let you go.’ And he kissed her again, slowly this time, until Brad called out, ‘Hey, you guys, time for that later, now we gotta eat.’
Irene walked up and down in the lobby of the Imperial Hotel rocking Alexander in her arms and watching the guests sipping sweet sherry. It was over four years since she and Sandy had been here on their wedding day. The city had been bombed the night before and her journey to the church had taken her through horrific sights that would stay with her for the rest of her days. In this very place she had heard the news that her friend Myrtle had been killed in the bombing. Now the war was over and she had a child in her arms. Soon Sandy would come home and
they would start a new life together. Her mother had told her once that being married was like making soda bread. ‘You make it every day and some days it tastes better than others. You’ll find your own recipe.’ She hadn’t quite understood that advice at the time, but she did now.
‘Penny for them.’ Peggy was at her side. ‘Why don’t you have a sherry and be in the company for a while? I’ll look after Alexander.’
‘No, it’s all right, he’s nodded off. I’ll go and sit over there with him, he won’t sleep for long.’ They sat in two oversized armchairs in the lobby. ‘I was just thinking about my wedding reception here,’ said Irene. ‘What a strange day that was; it all seems so long ago.’
Peggy nodded. ‘That was the day Harry left me to join the army.’
‘Do you still think about him?’
‘Sometimes.’
‘Will he come back do you think?’
Peggy sighed. ‘You never know with Harry. He sent me that letter, after the row at Christmas, saying that he loved me and how he’d come and find me when the war was over. Well, I’m not holding my breath. Anyway, I’m happy as I am, managing the shop and being Mr Goldstein’s Assistant Director for the Barnstormers’ shows. That’s plenty to be going on with.’ She smiled. ‘There again, if I met a very handsome and very wealthy man …’
The dining room of the Imperial Hotel was impressive, with its rich red velvet curtains, Art Deco mirrors and lights. The tables were set with silver cutlery, crystal glasses and vases of narcissi on white linen. After the meal Goldstein, as best man, rose to speak.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, on such an auspicious day the future of the newly married couple must be doubly blessed. They begin married life with a world at peace and the excitement of making their home in America. A new business enterprise awaits them and I am certain their skills, determination and experience of working together will ensure its success.
I would like to say something also about my dear friend Martha and her girls. They have enriched my life beyond measure.’ Goldstein paused and looked down, as though composing himself, before going on. ‘When Peggy came to work in my shop, I never dreamt that soon my life would be bound up with the Goulding family. It was hearing the girls sing that led me to form a troupe of entertainers that changed the lives of many of you here.’
A Song in my Heart Page 35