“I’m not worried,” she said, and really meant it. She was cool as a cucumber. Even after June Innes walked in, with her chilly expression and authoritative posture, Merry felt completely collected. Everyone seemed to have a sheaf of papers to pore over but Merry, but that was okay. She closed her eyes and did more of that calm, cool thing. What good would it do to get upset? All she had to do was stand up, project all her feelings and ideas and love for Charlene, do what Charlie would want her to do for his daughter. So she was alone. Big deal. She didn’t expect anyone to be there for her.
But then…the judge walked in.
Judges, in her opinion, should look like Santa Claus, kindly and wise and older—just a little thinner. Not this one. Judge Burns looked a young midthirties, and though he was wearing a stereotypical black robe, it was casually open, revealing a GQ tie and tonal shirt. His skin was as tanned as a tennis pro.
Panic started to close her throat, all the more startling because she’d been so positive she was calm. Suddenly her fingertips froze up and her heart kept hiccupping, and her lips felt like butter, too slippery to talk. She didn’t care if the judge was adorable, for Pete’s sake. But she’d counted on being able to talk to him, counted on him wanting to listen, willing to hear how much was at stake for Charlene.
Any other time, she wouldn’t have minded looking at a heartthrob—but not here. The judge didn’t look like anyone who was into kids, and for the first time, Merry felt the terror surface from so carefully buried depths…that she could lose Charlie. Really. Lose her.
The judge took his seat as if he were relaxing for the evening with friends. “There are several issues before the court today, affecting the minor, Charlene Ross. We’ll get everyone sworn in, and then start. We all need to be clear that our function here today is to assess the status of the guardianship affecting the minor child, Charlene Ross.”
Everyone nodded, including Merry.
“Now, if I understand all this correctly, a few days before this hearing was scheduled, the child’s birth mother suddenly appeared in the picture. Mary Ross hasn’t seen her daughter since Charlene was two.” The judge scrolled through papers and then cocked a glance at Lee, who nodded that the information was correct. “Both Mr. Oxford and Mrs. Innes have raised concerns about the fitness of the birth mother, not just in terms of custody rights but even in terms of visitation. Both parties have provided information that the ex-Mrs. Ross has only been out of rehab two months, after four previous stays. She lost her driver’s license related to driving under the influence, has two accidents on record as being drug-related…”
Lee got a quick turn to speak up. “We don’t believe there’s any question the child should be put in the mother’s care, your honor. We all believe that she only showed up because she heard her ex-husband had a sizable financial estate that she had hopes of getting her hands on, through the child.”
“Yes.” The judge nodded at both Lee and Mrs. Innes. “You both seem in accord on this. But she is the child’s mother. And as we discussed prior to this hearing, I believe it is in the minor’s best interests—and everyone else’s—to have an initial meeting between the two in a controlled, supervised environment in my chambers—with myself, the mother, the child, and the attorneys representing both sides. Ms. Olson, Charlene is in chambers, correct?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So we’ll get to that shortly. For right now, however, our business is the immediate custody situation with the minor child. Miss Olson, Mrs. Innes has presented a report, that you and your attorneys should have copies of. Have you all read it?”
“Yes, your honor,” Lee answered.
“All right then. Miss Olson, would you like to speak on your role as guardian?”
“Yes, sir.” Merry stood up. Her heart kept thumping the mantra be strong, be strong, but her hands were slicker than slides. It was the fear.
That she wouldn’t have the right words, wouldn’t be able to convince the judge that she mattered to Charlene—that Charlene mattered to her.
When had she been able to do that for anyone?
But she clutched her arms and tried. “I love that child. I know all the reasons why I must not look like the best choice of guardian. But you need to understand—I knew Charlie. I knew what he wanted for his daughter. He wanted someone to value her. To look at her, not as if she were just a child, but for the unique and extraordinary person she is.
“Charlene and I both had mothers who left us. I think that matters, because I know how it affects a child—how it affects a girl. How it affects her feelings of self-worth, and the kind of woman she wants to grow up to be. It affects whether she values herself—whether she even knows how to value herself…”
The judge looked at her, but she wasn’t sure if he was really listening, if he understood, if he cared. She started stumbling over her words…yet right when she thought she couldn’t hold it together another second, the door opened.
Jack strode in, banked by Cooper and Kicker, all three of them dressed in jackets and ties—ties. Who knew her boys even owned any? All three of them looked out of breath, as if they’d been running.
When Jack’s eyes met hers across the room, she felt a sudden keening deep inside her. She was a softie, she knew that. But she’d locked up a certain kind of tenderness, knowing it was too easy to rip and tear, that some things just wouldn’t mind if they were broken.
Jack wasn’t supposed to be here. Of course he’d known the hearing was scheduled. She’d told him—and listened to his advice on preparing for June Innes’s comments to the judge. But she’d specifically insisted he not take off from work, promising that she’d be fine. If she was ever to have a chance with him, he had to think of her as an equal, strong and capable, not the kind of flighty lightweight who couldn’t stand up when someone needed her.
JACK MUST HAVE RUN THE LAST quarter mile from the parking lot—damn, they’d started out in plenty of time, but Kicker got gum on his tie, and there’d been a twenty-minute holdup on the freeway because of a traffic accident. He didn’t want Merry walking into this hearing alone, didn’t want her thinking she was alone.
Because she wasn’t.
Right off, from where she was standing and facing the judge, he could see the proud tilt of her chin. He also heard the shaky quaver in her voice. She wasn’t crying, but she barely had to turn before he saw the well-up glisten in her eyes.
Merry wasn’t used to holding back emotion. She wasn’t used to having to wage bureaucratic war, either.
Which is partly why Jack had brought the cavalry.
“And who are you, sir?” Judge Burns didn’t look annoyed by the interruption, more curious.
“Jack Mackinnon and my two sons, Cooper and Kevin. We live next door to Charlene Ross, have known her from the time she was a toddler. And we’ve watched what kind of guardian Miss Olson is for Charlene from the day she got here, as well as how Charlene relates to her.”
“They’re not scheduled to say anything.” Mrs. Innes stood up. “This is supposed to be an informal hearing, your honor, with just—”
“Informal is correct. But we do want all the information we can ascertain related to the issues. State your names formally for the court, and get sworn in.”
The boys went first. Jack paid attention, but mostly…well, Merry hadn’t stopped looking at him, any more than he’d stopped looking at her. She so obviously hadn’t expected him to come. Hadn’t expected his support. But it wasn’t surprise in her eyes so much as—
Love.
How much she cared was on display for the whole courtroom to see. The thing was, though, that Jack saw it, and wanted to damn himself from here to Poughkeepsie, for not realizing before. For not understanding before. For not valuing her before. Not enough. Not nearly enough.
He was forcibly distracted by the boys—they’d stood up together with the judge’s permission. Usually Kicker took the verbal role, because he could usually talk his way out of a high tea with the Queen o
f England without feeling stress. But for some reason, the two of them had opted for Cooper to speak first.
“She’s the kind of mom every kid wishes they had. See, she always listens, but you can trust her not to judge.” Coop suddenly looked stricken. “No offense, Judge. I mean, your honor. I mean, I know you’re supposed to judge. But Merry, Ms. Olson I mean, she’ll give you advice. And she’ll let you know if she thinks you’re doing something stupid, so it’s not like she lets you off the hook. But she doesn’t make like out like she knows everything, like she’s God. She’s just there for you.”
Kicker had his shot, but kept it short. “We see her with Charlene all the time. The thing is, nothing’s more important to her than Charlene, than being her mom. Not a job. Not doing other stuff. And we see her, like, working at it. Not like it’s easy for her all the time. But that’s the thing. The way she loves the kid, we can all see it. And that’s all I have to say.”
Damn, Jack thought, looking over at Merry. Tears brimmed in her eyes like crystals. The boys’ plan had been to help her, not make it tougher on her. And then it was his turn to stand up.
“I met Merry the day she got here, and I’ve never known anyone like her. She loves Charlene as much as Charlene’s dad did, and believe me, that’s saying a ton. The whole move had to be hard on Merry, never having lived in this area before, no friends or family here. But she just knuckled under and took everything one problem at a time, always keeping Charlene’s needs on the front line.”
Jack shifted on his feet. “Every parent has a learning curve. It doesn’t make a first-time parent less effective because they’re inexperienced. Maybe Merry didn’t give birth to Charlene, but I believe Charlie knew exactly what he was doing when he passed on guardianship to Merry. If it were my kids, I’d do the same. She’s that special….”
Hell, he’d intended to go on, but the first tear welled over her eyelid and spilled over in a big, fat single crystal. If she got emotional…well, the judge didn’t realize who he was dealing with.
Mrs. Innes, being Mrs. Innes, chose that moment to interrupt. “This testimony is very heartwarming, but we’ve never doubted Miss Olson’s kind heart. It’s her youth and inexperience that are our concern, also the fact that she’s a young and very attractive woman, so undoubtedly she’s going to become involved or marry—”
Aw, hell, Jack thought, and heaved an annoyed sigh as he jerked to his feet again. This sure as beans was not how he’d planned on doing this. Still, there was little he and Merry had managed to hide from the kids so far, so Jack figured it was probably crazy to think this could possibly go any differently.
“Sir, it’s not your turn,” Mrs. Innes said when she saw him standing up again—making Judge Burns raise his eyebrows.
“Actually, I believe I can decide that,” the judge remarked.
Jack was looking only at Merry. “Mrs. Innes implied there was an additional uncertainty factor because of Merry’s single status. And I understand why she’d think that, because Charlene’s life would be thrown into another major change if Merry took up with some man out of the blue. Since she’s so beautiful and fantastic, it’d be crazy not to believe some guys aren’t going to be coming around.”
Jack, Merry mouthed. What are you doing?
“I love you, Merry,” he said.
Judge Burns frowned. “Excuse me? I didn’t hear—”
Jack turned back to the judge. “I don’t know that she’ll have me. But it’s my intention to ask her to marry me. Not for Charlene’s sake. Not for my sons’ sake, either—although I believe all the kids will stand up and shout if we do it. But I’m just talking about us. That I love her. That she’s changed my life, rattled my heart. She loves, bigger than most people even dream of loving. She gives, more than most people imagine they have to give. Judge?”
“I’m listening.” The judge also had a hand over his mouth, as if to hide his expression.
“You’d be a damn fool to give full and complete guardianship to anyone but Merry.”
“Thanks for your opinion,” the Judge said. “I don’t suppose there’s a chance you’ll sit down now?”
ALTHOUGH THE HEARING WAS adjourned quickly after that, there was still another half hour of waiting in the judge’s side chambers for Charlene to finish the meeting with her mother. Merry was wedged on a thin-cushioned bench between Jack and the boys. If they hugged her any tighter, she was going end up like the jelly in a pb and j—but they were trying to be good to her. Or, at least the boys were.
She kept shooting glances at Jack, silently promising him they’d be having a good long discussion about all these surprises, the very minute the two of them could beg, borrow or steal a moment alone.
Suddenly Charlene bolted out the far door.
Merry surged to her feet, but didn’t have to take a single step before Charlie flew, like she’d never flown before, straight into her arms. Holy kamoly. The kid zoomed toward her like a heat-seeking missile, almost knocking her over…and then just hung on. Tight, like glue. Strong, like steel.
She didn’t cry. Merry could feel tears in her own eyes, but Charlie, being Charlie, was strong like her dad. Just possibly she wasn’t all that strong this instant, though, because those scrawny little arms squeezed in a fiercely tight hug. Merry soothed the downy fluff on her hair, kissed the top of her head. She didn’t say anything. Probably couldn’t have talked for the lump in her throat anyway, but that was just as well.
Holding Charlene was all she wanted or needed to do at that moment.
Eventually, though, Charlene lifted her head. She looked up at Merry, then suddenly realized that Jack and the boys were right there, too.
“What’s going on? What’s everybody doing here?” she demanded. “Cripes, this has been close to the worst day of my life and you’re all grinning like hyenas.”
“Yeah,” Merry said, “I guess we are. You’re okay.” She didn’t have to phrase it like a question.
Charlene remembered to cop a little attitude. “After she left, the judge talked to me by myself. He said I didn’t have to see her again, that I didn’t have to worry about custody or anything like that. But that I’d probably regret it if I didn’t agree to see her some, because at some time in my life, I’d want to know what made her the way she is. That it’d matter to me.”
“That sounds like good sense,” Merry said gently.
“Sounds like hogwash to me. But I said if it was that big a deal to him, I’d see her sometime. But I thought it was dumb. I told him I already had all the mom I need. That’s you, Merry.”
“Yeah?”
Merry thought if she cried any more today she might as well fill up a river. But she put one arm around Charlie and hooked her hand in Jack’s, as they walked out into the fresh air.
EPILOGUE
“DON’T TELL ME THIS is how it’s going to be,” Jack muttered.
Merry lifted her head to grin at him. “You mean, an insane houseful of kids, constant noise and gargantuan messes and the phone ringing all the time?”
“Naw. I don’t care about any of that. I just care about the lack of privacy.” His mouth found the side of her neck. Because he’d turned off all the lights so they could watch a movie, he kept claiming that it was too dark to see…so his aim was accidental. She couldn’t blame him for it or hold him responsible.
She might have bought that ridiculous fairy tale—she’d probably have bought anything Jack wanted to sell her, that night—but as it happened, they weren’t watching the movie. And his mouth exhibited no trouble finding her throat in the dark, any more than his hands were challenged to find tender bare skin.
She found herself breathless. “We do need some privacy,” she whispered.
“Soon.”
“Soon,” she agreed. “But you might want to keep in mind that you’re responsible for this chaos.”
“Some of it.”
“Some?” He was the one who thought Charlene needed something special immediately to lighten the s
tress of yesterday’s traumatic day.
Merry had owned up to the kitten idea—but that was kitten, as in a singular model. He was the one who took Charlene to a neighborhood rescue and came back with two.
Charlene had immediately named them Lucky and Buttercup. Possibly it wasn’t one of Merry’s better ideas to set them up in the master bedroom, but the spur-of-the-moment impulse had been to get Charlie closer to her dad’s things, and the kittens would help that. The babies were seven weeks old, fluffy fur balls and wonderful, with claws that could kill you.
Merry had casually suggested that her friends could come over any time to see the kittens. The infamous Dougall was in there now. So was a girl and another boy. So were Cooper and Kevin.
Dougall was the critical issue, Merry had explained to Jack. The major embarrassment of getting her first period in school wouldn’t be half as bad a hurdle to Charlie, if it hadn’t occurred in the class she had with Dougall. The kittens were proving to be an ideal distracting influence. Both Merry and Jack could hear the kids through the open doorway. No one had mentioned anything embarrassing to Charlene. No one had asked why she’d suddenly, just like that, quit wearing her hair in a brush cut, either.
Jack heard both his sons laughing at the kittens’ antics.
“How on earth are we going to combine the households? Which house? And when is another question.”
“Beats me. But my theory is…we should all decide together. Involve the kids.” She rested her neck against the arm. “I’m going to be the easiest one to please, because I’ll be happy no matter what.”
“I know that. Because I’m going to work—for the next fifty years—to make you happy no matter what.” He took another nip out of her neck.
“It isn’t over, you know. We’ll have to deal with Charlie’s mother. And your ex-wife. And I would really like to go for a formal adoption on Charlie—”
“I think that’s a great idea, for us to do together.” Clearly he liked the concept, just wanted to change the pronoun. “But the rest of the turmoil just comes with the territory. Nothing’s ever easy with kids or life. We’ll be stuck rolling with the punches a million times.”
Blame it on Cupid Page 31