“Then I come here for the first time since the funeral, and I scream. Like seriously at the top of my lungs, wake-the-dead-style scream. I’m surprised no one called the cops to haul my ass out of here. I’m just still so angry. Where do you find the strength to move on?”
I think about what she just said. Move on? Is that what she thinks we did? I could never “move on” from the loss of my brother; I just learned how to deal with it since it’s something that I can’t change. I tighten the grip on her wrist as I fight back my own tears.
“It’s not easy. It’s honestly a lot of work, but I take it one day at a time. Some days I am so angry that he’s not here, and others I use the anger I have that he’s not to power me through the day. I’m angry for all the big events he has missed and will continue to miss.”
Give me strength, Em.
This was a big moment today that he missed. I hate it that he isn’t here to see me happy, to see Zach happy. Who would’ve thought it would’ve been us?
“I’m upset that he isn’t here to celebrate my big news. I hurt for my parents, for you, for Zach. I use it to make something of my life—a life he didn’t get. I was in a bad place after he died…I not only lost my brother, but I lost my best friend. I felt like I had lost everything. I mean, I did. So did Zach. He had lost his best friend and his only sister.”
Dani looks down guiltily. When she looks back up to me, I have to fight the feeling of wanting to just pull her into my arms and cry.
“Zach and I started hanging out and were just friends, but then it turned into something more—we drew strength from each other. Moving on doesn’t mean I’m any less sad or miss my brother any less. It just means I’m living.”
I adjust myself on the grass so that I’m closer to Dani. “Please don’t think that I’m not dying on the inside, all because I appear to have my shit together on the outside. There have been plenty of nights that I have cried myself to sleep, and Zach will just hold me and let me fall apart. I cry if I see something that reminds me of him or when I see something that I think he would’ve liked. But I also know that he wouldn’t want me to be sad and not live my life. I know that I get to spend the rest of my life living for my brother and have a man next to me who I love so much.
“Through Em’s death, I found Zach. Yes, I’ve known him my whole life, but it wasn’t until we were both so broken and lost in the darkness and consumed by our grief that we found light in each other. We healed each other. It’s still a process, but we are facing it together. He would be so happy for us…well, after he thoroughly kicked your brother’s ass, of course.”
We both laugh. That has to be a good sign, right?
I take a deep breath and look into her eyes so she really hears what I’m about to say. “He would want you to live too, Danielle. He would hate you like this; you and I both know it.”
“But I feel guilty…” she attempts to say before I raise my hand to cut her off.
“I know how madly in love my brother was with you and vice versa. I know the dreams you guys planned and the life you both wanted together. I was there for both of you. I saw both sides of your love as his sister and your best friend. And then life stepped up to the plate and gave a big fuck-you and destroyed them, all of them—your dreams, mine, my parents’, and anyone who ever did or would have known Emmett. I know that Em wouldn’t want this for you. He told me once that all he wanted was for you to be happy—it was why he did stupid shit like the singing and dancing in public or verbally proclaiming his love for you as if he just discovered new land. He said his sole purpose in life was to make you smile. Yeah, he actually said that—big, bad Emmett was pretty whipped. I never understood any of that until Zach.”
Maybe Kyler is Em’s gift to Dani, to always keep her smiling.
The corners of my mouth curve upward, and I feel my cheeks warm as I think about how lucky I am to have Zach in my life. My thumb plays with the new gorgeous ring on my finger. Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m engaged. I get to spend the rest of my life with a man I genuinely adore and who loves me. I close my eyes and look up at the sky.
“Ya know, I don’t know exactly where my brother is right now, but I hope that he is at peace. And of course, if he chooses to haunt me, I hope he at least doesn’t do it while Zach and I are, well…” I wiggle my eyebrows and giggle as Dani holds her hand up for me to stop.
After all that she and Em put us through with PDA over the years, I am half-tempted to finish that sentence.
“But what I do know is that he would hate you not being happy. He would hate knowing that the smile that he made sure he saw every day was gone. He would understand and want someone to be able to put that smile back on your face if he can’t. We know that if he were here that you both would be together and hopefully, by now, I’d be spoiling the shit out of my nieces or nephews.” My smile quickly fades. “But he’s not. He’s never coming back. So, Dani, I need you to live, for you, for Emmett, for the dreams, and for the memories. You can’t live your life carrying the weight of my brother’s death, you just can’t. I won’t allow it. We let you walk away once before, and fuck if we are going to let you do it again. Prove that my brother’s death wasn’t for nothing but his dreams dying with him and yours as well. We can’t change your dreams together falling apart, but you can still do something about yours—make new ones.”
Dani begins to fully break down again, tears running down her cheeks and shoulders trembling. “But I just feel so guilty that I get to live and he doesn’t.”
I pull Dani into my arms, not holding back, both of us sobbing. After a moment, I pull back and place my hands on her cheeks to force her to look at me.
“I know, I know, but I need you to fucking stop. Don’t let your guilt get in the way of being happy. You did not cause that accident. That’s what it was—an accident. A wrong place at the wrong time. I need you to make the decision to stop feeling guilty. To make the decision of living your life. You only get one, and how amazing is it that in that one life you get two great men who love you when most people don’t even get one?”
Dani gasps and pulls back in shock. I’m not sure what I said just now to earn that reaction. “Kyler doesn’t love me.”
My brows furrow. Is she serious right now? That boy is head over heels in love with her.
I try to hide back my laughter, but a giggle escapes. “Oh, yes, he does. I’ve known him for a few years now, and I’ve never seen him look at someone the way he looks at you.”
“And how is that?” She cocks her head to the side.
I place my forehead against hers. “Honey, Ky looks at you the same way Emmett used to.”
How has she not realized this? I reach out for her hand and squeeze it to show her it’s okay to admit her feelings for him. Like I told her, my brother wouldn’t want her not to allow herself to love again.
“It’s also the same way you look at him.”
She silently nods. See, that wasn’t so hard, D.
She wipes under her eyes and laughs. “Shit, Hails, when did you become the smart and wise one out of the two of us?”
I smile. Well, she walked right into this one. “Probably around the same time I started sleeping with your brother.”
I am mentally high-fiving myself as she jokingly gags. Payback is a bitch. But we end up just laughing more.
“If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, missy. Remember every time we talked about boys growing up and all your firsts? I had to hear about my brother, so bleh.” I stick my tongue at her as we continue to get lost in our laughter.
Once we compose ourselves, wiping away tears of joy now, Dani grabs my hand to inspect my new bling. “So you’re really going to marry my brother, huh?”
“Yeah, I am,” I respond, my cheeks beginning to hurt from how broad my smile is. I turn to my brother’s grave and hold up my hand that has the combination of the diamond and amethyst stones.
“Did you hear that, big bro? I’m getting married. Can you belie
ve it?” Wow, I’m not sure I still believe it.
I turn back to my best friend. “But you know what’s better than him becoming my husband?”
I roll my eyes at Dani as she brings her hand to her chin and dramatically thinks my question over. “A root canal? Maybe natural childbirth? Falling out of the tree and breaking your arm?”
This girl thinks she’s so funny. And for the record, no, falling out of a tree and breaking your arm is not better, even if it’s enjoyable getting your brother into trouble for it.
I playfully shove her. “Bitch! No, I was going to say, I still get you as my sister. See? That plan didn’t change.”
Not only am I marrying the man of my dreams, but I get my best friend as my sister-in-law. I had always hoped one day we would be real sisters, but I had believed that that dream had died along with my brother. That is, until Zach swept me all my feet and stole my heart.
Dani lunges toward me, almost knocking me to the ground. “I love you, Hails.”
“I love you too, D. Now, what do you say we get back to the house because I’m pretty sure Kyler has officially driven Zach insane and possibly paced the floor away.”
I’ve felt my phone vibrating in my pocket multiple times while sitting here. No doubt Zach checking in making sure she didn’t run again.
Dani nods, and we help each other up, brushing the grass off our clothes. I step forward and kiss the headstone, the same thing I do every time I go to leave here.
“I’ll see you later, big bro. I promise I’ll take care of her.” I look back at Dani, who has her arms wrapped around her waist. “I miss you. Love you, E.”
I step back, and Dani asks, “Can you give me a minute?”
I nod toward the cars and head in that direction. I look back one last time to see her bent down, running her hand over the stone.
I pull my phone from my pocket as I walk away, giving Dani the space she needs to say goodbye. As I predicted, I have eleven texts from Zach. I choose to respond to his texts rather than call.
Me: On our way home. See you soon.
My phone buzzes a moment later.
Zach: Be careful. I love you…fiancée.
A smile appears on my face, and I am overjoyed with love as I type back.
Me: You too. Xo
I lean against the Jeep as I wait for Dani to be done. Once she approaches, we both nod as we get into our vehicles and make our way back to our guys. I follow her the entire way home, decompressing the day. Wow, has it seriously only been one day?
Fights.
Emotional breakdown.
Engaged.
Dani and I arrive home and stand in the doorway watching Zach and Kyler hug. We share a glance before looking back at them. I press my lips together to suppress my laughter. When another minute has passed, I clear my throat, and I must startle them because they both jump back. They both begin to make manly grunting noises. I guess to prove they’re still macho.
Damn, boys are so weird. Am I sure I want to marry one of those?
I finally release the laugh I was holding in. “Ummm, we can always come back, but Kyler, maybe you should remember that this Jacobs is already taken, and I don’t like to share.”
I stalk toward Zach and wrap my arms around his waist.
Zach leans down, whispering against my lips, “I missed you.”
His lips crash onto mine, staking his claim, as if the ring on my finger didn’t do that enough. I get lost in his kiss just like I always do. I can kiss this man forever, and now I get to. I finally open my eyes.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” he says back, panting, and I notice his shorts are little too tight.
He looks up and then searches the room. I turn around and see that we were so preoccupied that we didn’t even notice Dani and Kyler leave the room. Oops.
“Should we go find them? I’m hungry.”
When this man is hungry, he goes from zero to hangry pretty quickly, but I think it’s best to give them time.
“I think we should let them talk first. It was a lot today. I think they have some things to talk about.”
Zach pouts like a child, earning a giggle and eye roll from me. My future husband, ladies and gentlemen.
Zach plops down on his favorite chair and lasts all but five minutes before he jumps up. “Okay, I’m starving.”
I chase after him. “Babe, I think you should wait or maybe knock first.”
“I’m hungry, Hails,” he shouts over his shoulder as he reaches the door. “You guys wanna go out or order piz…fuck! Not again,” Zach yells before slamming the door shut.
Oh shit! He blocked me, but I did catch a glimpse of Dani’s back, and I’m pretty sure she was on Kyler’s lap. I think it’s safe to say the two of them made up.
Zach continues to yell at them through the closed door. “Seriously, Dani, haven’t you ever heard of a fucking door lock?”
I can hear their laughter on the other side, and as awful as it is, I can’t hide my laughter either. The poor guy walked in on her sister in the act not only once but now twice.
In between her fit of giggles, Dani yells back, “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking first?”
“I told you to knock first. Maybe you should listen to me more often,” I add as Zach continues to curse and grumble.
By the time I reach the living room, he’s already sitting in his chair again, probably wishing he’d listened to me in the first place, but I won’t tell him “I told you so,” at least not yet.
I crouch down in front of him. His elbows are propped up on his knees, and his head is in his hands.
“For fuck’s sake. I’m going to need some therapy for this. I’m not even hungry anymore.”
I raise my eyebrows at him.
His head moves in agreement. “Okay, okay. I am still hungry.”
I stand and step between his legs and sit in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands rest on my thighs. “What do you say we go get a pizza, and then we can come back and celebrate? Remember that whole thing that we got engaged today?”
His eyes go wide. “What? We did?”
He clutches his chest in shock.
I poke his chest. “Hilarious, asshole. You better watch it.”
“Or what?”
I ponder it over. Hmmm…think quick.
“Or you don’t get dessert after dinner.” I stand and go to walk away when he pulls me into his lap.
“Dinner, then your dessert, babe. Let’s go.” He pushes me up and smacks my butt.
When I turn to face him, he gives that signature Jacobs wink and holds his hand out for me to take.
We had returned home with pizza and no sign of Kyler or Dani having come out of her room and nope, I was not about to go knock on the door. Haylee heads to our bedroom as I finish cleaning up the kitchen, putting the leftover pizza in the fridge.
I mumble under my breath, “If they want leftovers, at least they are there, so you’re welcome.”
I lean against the doorway of our bedroom, staring at my beautiful fiancée currently sitting with one foot propped up on the bed, unlacing her Converse.
That beautiful woman right there agreed to be my wife. I have been carrying that ring around for what seems like forever and finally popped the question, and of all things, she said yes. This has been one of the longest days of my life. I may have decided last minute to finally pop the question to her, but I didn’t plan, once she said yes, to spend it worrying about my sister, calming Kyler down, and definitely not walking in on my sister and Ky in a compromising position.
Thank God I wasn’t just another second or two later. I shiver at the thought and focus back on Hails. I walk over to her while she is working on the other shoe.
I bend down to one knee and reach for her left hand that already has my ring on it. My thumb drags over the ring. It seriously is a beautiful ring, and being a dude, I know absolutely nothing about jewelry, but this ring…it’s personal. I would never have thought about adding Em
mett’s birthstone to the ring—that was all Brian.
“What are you doing?”
I look up from the ring to meet the most stunning pair of blue eyes I have ever seen. “When I decided I was going to propose today, I didn’t expect the rest of today’s events to unfold the way they did. That put a little bit of a damper on our celebrating, so I thought I would do a redo and then give you a proper celebration.” The curves of her lips go upward in a smile as she looks down on me, still on one knee.
“In the last conversation Em and I ever had, he told me one day a girl would knock me on my ass. I laughed at him then. I never thought I would find a girl who would not only turn my world upside down, but would capture my heart completely. I found that in you, of all people. I knew early on that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. In fact, I’ve had this…” I place my thumb and forefinger around her ring and slide it off her finger. “…for quite some time—since my graduation, actually. Your dad had this custom-made with your grandmother’s ring. He wanted you to have a part of your brother for the rest of your life.”
Her hands cover her nose and mouth as tears fill her eyes. Shit, I made her cry. Get to the point, Jacobs.
“There never seemed to be a right time to give you this ring, but if there is anything that we have learned over our years together, it’s that nothing goes as planned, so this morning, I knew that there was only one thing that could make life even better, and that was you agreeing to be my wife. I didn’t need anything fancy to ask you—just you.”
Tears are running down her cheeks, and her body vibrates as she sniffles away the tears. I reach up and cup her cheek and run my thumb along her cheekbone.
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