“You want to talk about something now? But I had your class this morning and you were not there. You didn’t attend the lectures, did you?” Mr. Summers asked sternly.
Merly bowed down her head in shame, “I am extremely sorry, professor, but I was busy with something and I got delayed so…”
“Oh, yes, this thing that you had was so very important that you couldn’t even attend an important class, so now you come running to me for the notes. Merly, don’t think that I haven’t noticed your reluctance over the last couple of days, and as a teacher, I despise this kind of behavior, so come back in your next class and I will see what I can do.” Mr. Summers was angry and didn’t fall back to show it.
Merly was dumfounded for a minute and forgot what she was going to say, but when she saw him walking away, she raced towards him to let him know her actual purpose of calling him, “Professor, this is about your sister” was all Merly said, when Mr. Summers looked back at her with fiery eyes and obvious anger in them.
“Merly, you are overstepping your limit. What are you trying to imply here? What about my sister? I don’t want to talk about this, so go back!” Mr. Summers sounded furious and he stormed out of the corridor. However, Merly didn’t give up, she followed Mr. Summers along his footsteps.
“Mr. Summers, you need to wait. There is something very important that I need to ask you. Wait please!” Merly kept on saying.
“What do you need, Merly? I just said that there is nothing that I want to talk to you about and here you are bothering me with your questions. Leave now … just go!” By this time, Mr. Summers looked furious.
Merly contemplated if she should go on with her mission, but right then, the voice in her head spoke again. Merly didn’t stop and asked instead, “Mr. Summers, you do have a sister don’t you? And I am here to talk about her.”
His eyes grew red in anger and his facial features turned twisted. He looked sternly at her, then he almost shouted while gritting his teeth and said, “How dare you? And I don’t have a sister. I had one, but she is dead, and if this is your idea of joke, then you are in for trouble. I will personally make sure that this reaches the heads and you are punished accordingly.” Mr. Summers was fuming with sheer anger.
However that didn’t seem to bother Merly, and she ignored the warnings, “What is her name? And how did she die?” she asked.
There was a clear look of disbelief in his eyes, as Merly was clearly ignoring what he said to her and questioned him instead. As there was nothing else that he could say further, Mr. Summers stomped off away from her. Merly for a second was left speechless, as she couldn’t understand the reason behind Mr. Summers anger at the mention of his sister. People die, she thought, but why did he get angry over that? So did anything bad happen to her? I must find out. Mr. Summers was already gone.
“What should I do now? Whom should I ask for help? I cannot ask for anyone’s help.” Merly went back and forth saying this to herself. She promised that she would not tell a soul and feared the disaster she might face upon breaching it. “No, I cannot tell anyone, not even when Nora comes back. I… I…I must go and ask Mr. Summer again, but where will I find him? Where? Oh, he must be in his quarters, I must ask him.” Merly uttered the lines in a frenzy and went to seek Mr. Summers in a hurry.
Merly was sure that she would find Mr. Summers in his quarters and she was not mistaken. She found him walking quickly towards the entrance of his cottage. “Mr. Summers, please one last time, just listen to what I have to say. You cannot simply negate what I am saying, and why are you reacting in this manner? I need to know that.”
“What is wrong with you today, Merly? I cannot even fathom that. I am trying to avoid you, however, you seem to completely ignore that. In what language do I have to say it so you may go? Go, Merly, please, I don’t want to talk to about my sister,” Mr. Summers begged.
Merly thought she saw tears in his eyes, but he turned away his face when he realized that Merly was looking directly at him. “You are obviously hiding something from me and that is affecting you. I think you should tell me about it,” Merly said in an assuring manner.
Mr. Summers pondered over for the next few minutes, then asked her to wait for a short time outside. Merly could feel the winter chill, but tried to stay focused. Mr. Summers came out after a short while and handed her a picture. Merly kept looking at it with a transfixed gaze.
“I have seen this picture, Mr. Summers, but where did you get it?” she said then looked up in the face of Mr. Summers in a confused manner to look for an answer, but she remained silent. “Professor, who is she? I know her, please you must tell me? Who is this girl?” she asked with more emphasis.
“She is my sister. Wasn’t it her that you desired to know about?” Mr. Summers paused, then he wiped off one stray tear from his eye, and waited for Merly to give an answer. Merly was completely at a loss of words. The picture meant something, but there were several other missing pieces in the puzzle which didn’t fit. Her mind had a direction of its own, and likewise, it wanted to dwell on the previous memories of the picture that Merly had, but before she could think about that, Mr. Summers said something to her. “You know her? Where have you seen her?” he asked out of desperation.
“I…I just know that I have seen her. I can’t tell you anything about this now, Mr. Summers,” Merly said while taking a step back.
“I can’t tell any of it to you, and I only wanted to confirm this, so…” Merly was cut off in the middle.
“You can’t just ask me something and turn your back away, why do you need to know about my sister, what is it about her that’s made you investigate?” Mr. Summers showered her with questions.
“I was not investigating about her, In fact, I didn’t even know her. I just wanted to know…know if she existed,” Merly spoke out hesitatingly.
“But you said that you saw the picture, what about it then? Can you deny it?” Mr. Summers was not letting her go.
“Mr. Summers, you must let me go. This is not something that I can confide in you. Please you must understand,” Merly begged desperately.
“And I beg of you, Merly, if you know something, then please don’t hide it from me. You know something and I can see it in your face.” Mr. Summers was sure that Merly was definitely hiding some grave truth from him. However, Merly had no answer that she could offer him. She turned away her face looking for a temporary answer that would for some time silence Mr. Summers, but to her dismay nothing she said did put him at peace.
“Do you care to know how my sister died?” Mr. Summers said all of a sudden and it took Merly completely by surprise as she was not expecting it.
“What do you mean by this?” she asked while stammering.
“I asked if you care to know how my sister died and what she meant to me.” But by this time, his voice was eerily calm and composed and Merly didn’t notice any tremor in his voice. Merly pondered for a moment and weighed if she really wanted to listen to what Mr. Summers had to say. However, then Mr. Summers did say something that she didn’t expect him to. “She died here,” he said and then took out his napkin to wipe off the tears that Merly noticed were flowing down from his eyes, and then his voice quivered.
“Are you all right? Mr. Summers, you don’t seem well. Should I take you inside the room? Merly was aware of his health and age, and it concerned her beyond reason, but Mr. Summers didn’t answer. He leaned towards the door and supported himself against it.
“Mr. Summers, you don’t need to tell me anything that you don’t want to. This is obviously distressing you, and I am sorry that I brought this up. Please, Professor, you must relax or else you will be sick. Please, I beg of you.” Merly went on pleading, but the professor seemed to be deaf towards whatever she was saying.
Merly started panicking. She looked both ways to see if anyone was coming and as her main intention was to avoid maximum attention, the scene that’s Mr. Summers was creating was obviously attracting unwanted attention. However, she couldn�
�t simply turn away and leave as the pressure was too much on her. The photograph, the revelation, Mr. Summer’s sudden panic attack all bore down on her, and she closed her eyes for a second, and then opened them. “Mr. Summers!” she called out loud. He looked up. “Why am I involved in all this? I am the one who should be asking you the questions. I never wanted to be a part of this, and I am sure something is very wrong here. I have never seen you fumbling, so vulnerable and I merely asked you about your sister. What triggered this?”
Merly tried to show a confident self and pushed the last strand of doubt from her mind. She was in constant dilemma over what she should do. “Mr. Summers, answer me, because I will not ask you again.”
At that moment, Mr. Summers seemed stunned at the straight forwardness of Merly as a moment ago she was showing care and concern. “You meant to hear it, then hear it till the end, even if that means the end of me. I don’t know why you are a part of all this, but you were the one who confronted me with this question, so face it!” He shouted back.
“Mr. Summers, I am not here be a part of all this. I have the answers to what I wanted to know, and therefore, I got to go,” Merly stated very firmly.
“You cannot simply come in and then ask something and leave. You … you started this and you must put an end to it as well, so stay here and listen to what I have to say,” he called Merly back.
However, Merly had no desire to be there listening to Mr. Summers. Therefore, she turned on her heels and walked out of his office. Merly then quickened her pace and started walking faster towards her dorm. She heard the faint calling of her name from behind, but she dared not look back. Merly ran as fast her feet took her, and only settled down after entering her room and closing the door behind her.
“What do I do now? Whom do I call?” Merly frantically started going through her phone, but calling Nora or Natalie was not an option. “What do I do? Oh, God, what do I do?” Merly screamed out. She paced the entire room and freaked out even at the slightest sound that occurred, and perhaps that night her eyes deliberately went toward the stack of books right in the corner, but then she remembered what had happened the last time and shoved the idea out of her mind quickly. Then the desperation got the better of her. She was frustrated and furious with the mere sight of those books. Hence, she went towards them and threw them aside. “What do I do?” she called out loudly again, but everything in front of her was bleak. The night seemed to drag too long for her and there was no light that she could see.
The light in her room flickered and Merly shivered at the mere thought of spending the night alone. “Maybe I should call Zoë. They are there.” She went towards the door and right in their room to seek refuge, but a harrowing voice called her back, and Merly slumped back on the floor and the tears knew no bound. “I am going insane, or am I already insane?” Merly slapped herself hard and tried to calm herself down.
“What is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me?”
Sadly, there was no one to answer her, “I have to head back to the library and tell her what I know. I cannot simply be here and not do a thing. She promised me a solution, and she promised that she will help me be free, free from all the torment and agony. I must go,” Merly said out loud, then paused for a couple of minutes before being utterly confused. Then she said, “Am I speaking with myself? Just when did I become like this? I cannot go on, no, I must.” Merly was indeed speaking with her own self. Where one part of her being was rejecting the crazy ideas that her other self was fueling her and then the non-stop side of her was tormenting her with ideas. Sometimes to summon the ghost in her room again like the previous time and sometime to go and confront Mr. Summers for the final answer.
The rational side of her mind poked Merly and urged her to inform some one of the higher authority, but if only the mind could be so logical. Her mind was divided into two. Then she suddenly knew what she had to. She opened her drawer and took out the picture she had and read out the names out loud. “Who are these people? I must know it,” and saying it, she rushed out of her room.
It took her some time to reach the library hall, the door to the place was left open and Mr. Stevenson was not there, but Merly didn’t even bother to look for him. She went directly towards her sitting place among the many books that she stared at. Merly sat there for few minutes. Then she started chanting the same prayer that had allowed her to see the green-eyed ghost before. The prayers worked and although the windows beside her were shut tight, she felt the eerie cold sensation. She rubbed her arms to warm up, but among all that Merly never stopped saying the prayer.
White light flashed before her eyes, and there she was, the women with green eyes standing right in front of her. The eyes were dead and hinted no warmth. Merly indeed saw them before, but even when she was seeing it for the third time, the sight disturbed her. This time, there was no voice in her head miraculously, because the figure directly came and sat in front of her and Merly saw lip movement.
“You came back,” the figure said.
“Who are you? And I want the truth.” Merly was dead serious when she asked the questions without answering what was asked of her.
“Curious as ever aren’t you?” she said calmly while her eyes bored into Merly’s.
Merly tried to stare back, and tried to take charge of the situation. “It feels like we are having the conversation for the first time. Let me make this clear, I will not be able to tell you anything until you tell me what your true intentions are, and don’t you dare try to trick me. Long have I not said anything, but this is it. I am tired and uninterested. So if it is you, then let me inform you that I am not afraid. I am not afraid of you at all!” she cried out.
“Aren’t you getting angry a bit too fast? I am only here to help you, but like I said before I require your help in return as well. Nothing in this world is achieved for free. I will want your assistance for something in return and you already promised to be on this with me, so why are we having this discussion again? If you can see me for who I am, then you must realize by now, that I know more than you think I do. So stop trying and listen to me and you will get your answers in time,” the woman said calmly.
“No, this is not how it will be. I want to know why you sent me to Mr. Summers. What is it about his sister that you want to know. Tell me now?” and Merly was shaking while she uttered those words. The figure that was sitting opposite her didn’t show any change in expression. The cold eyes didn’t give away anything and she sat there waiting for Merly to finish.
“I see that you are keen to know the truth. It torments you and taunts you, but it calls out to you as well, so hold on for few more minutes and I will tell you the truth, because you will know what it is.” While the figure in front of Merly said this, she noticed a faint smile in her face, but couldn’t decipher the reason behind it.
“Fine then,” Merly paused to recollect herself and then continued to say, “I have been to Mr. Summers and there are things I know; however, I can’t put the puzzle pieces together. They don’t seem to fit. I did ask Mr. Summers about this, I mean about his sister and he seemed anxious. He lost his temper and then shouted at me. He got angry, then sad, and then called me back and didn’t even offer a proper explanation when I asked him the reason of my involvement in this case. I urged him and pleaded, but Mr. Summers didn’t answer me anything. Then all of a sudden, he confessed ... he confessed that he had a sister and that she is dead. There was more that he wanted to say, but I was not in a position to listen to that. I was scared and I ran away. I don’t want to be a part of all this … please help me. I am so alone and feel like I am losing my mind.”
Merly was sobbing lightly by that time. Her muffled cries could be heard, or so Merly thought, and tried to suppress them with her hand.
“I pity you, little girl. You are so desperate, but if you can trust me a little, then I can honestly help you, but somehow I feel that you still don’t trust me enough to do as I say. I need to earn it from you,” the woman in f
ront of her explained.
“Who are you?” Merly demanded to know in between her sobs.
“You know me, don’t you?” was the reply she got back.
“Do I?” Merly was confused.
“Look carefully, then think. You are clever, a very clever girl, you know who I am by now … don’t you, Merly? Because I have been there all along, guiding you even when you were in gravest danger, and even if you will not call it the most selfless act yet, I have to point it out to you that I have grown very fond of you. Merly sitting with her books, and then Merly flipping through the pages of her books and sometimes Merly being elated upon finding the right answer to her question. You do remind me of someone I know. Do you still not understand what I am talking about?” The green eyes sparkled brighter than ever and at that second, Merly knew what she was being told.
No words were exchanged between the two for several moments. They sat there looking at each other and then memories of the past days kept coming back to her. They were making more sense now. What did she mean by “I saved you when you were in gravest danger.” Who was she saving me from? And why do I need to be saved? Is she really the one? The one I think she is? The questions were cluttering her thinking system and before Merly could answer her own questions, they were answered for her.
“You are right, I am the one person you think I am,” a familiar voice spoke in Merly’s mind.
“I can’t even think anything now with you speaking and intruding in my mind, and if you are so fond of me, then understand and leave me with my thoughts. I am already finding it hard to cope with the situation here. This is all so wrong, so utterly terrible and unimaginable and I can’t even believe how I landed in such a hot mess. There were so many others, but why me of all people. I thought nobody even noticed me to begin with. It was always Nora or Cathie or Sandra or Rudy. Sometimes it was Jonathan or Owen. I was so insignificant and not at all noticeable. Why not them, it should have been them…” Merly didn’t complete her sentence and oscillated between feeling overwhelmed and horrified.
Books of the Dead Page 25