by Lane Hart
“I think he’s hungry,” Jordan states the obvious when he sees me sit up on the couch. Noticing his eyes lowering to my chest, I glance down. My cheeks instantly warm in embarrassment when I see the milk’s saturated both sides of my top, soaking through my tank, forming silver dollar size circles.
“I’ll be right back,” I say before quickly heading for the bedroom Camden and I share to find a dry shirt. Although, if he doesn’t start drinking soon I’ll keep oozing. “Hey, Jordan? Could you bring him in here?”
“Ah, what?” I hear his deep response.
“I need to feed him to get it to stop or I’m gonna keep soaking through shirts,” I say. Taking off my tank top, I wrap a towel around my chest, tucking one side into the other.
“Maggie, are you decent?” Jordan asks from the doorway. When I turn around, his back is to me in case I’m not.
“Yeah, hand him over so he’ll stop screaming,” I say. Still clearly uncomfortable, Jordan turns around slowly and his eyes stay on my towel until I take the bundle from his arms.
“Thanks,” I reply, going to sit on the other side of the bed so I can split the opening and guide Camden’s mouth to my breast.
“So, I guess I better go,” he tells me.
“Before the food gets here?” I ask in confusion.
“Um, Maggie, it’s almost ten o’clock.”
“What?” I exclaim turning to look at the alarm clock to confirm. I’ll be damned!
“I put your sandwich in the fridge. Will you come lock up after me?”
“Oh, ah, sure. God, I’m sorry Jordan. You should’ve woken me up when you needed to leave,” I tell him, hoisting myself and the baby in my arms up. I grab a blanket from the laundry basket of clean clothes to cover up before following him to the front door.
“I didn’t mind staying, and you looked like you needed the sleep.”
“Well, yeah, but I can sleep without you being here.” His large bulky frame is just inches from me in the confined entry way, his scent intoxicating in this close proximity. I can feel the heat radiating from his body, even though he’s not touching me.
“Tomorrow night I’m coming to pick you both up, so have your shit packed. I have to work Friday, but you’re gonna stay with me this weekend.”
“What? No,” I respond when his words penetrate through my drowsiness.
Jordan’s jaw is so tight I see his cheek flex. “Come on, Maggie. I have two beds at my house, but if I stay here, I’ll have to sleep on the couch.”
“Why the heck would you stay here?” I squeak.
“So you can sleep.”
“Now you’re talking nonsense. Go home, Jordan.”
“I’m serious, Maggie.”
“I am too. I’m not hauling his bed and everything somewhere else when we’re perfectly fine here.”
“You won’t have to haul his bed. I’ll get one of those travel bed things.”
“There’s no reason to do that.”
“You’re gonna lose this argument, woman.”
“You can’t make me go with you,” I tell him.
“No, but I want you to,” he says softly. And then he doesn’t fight fair when he brushes his lips over my cheek in a kiss so soft, I’m not entirely certain I didn’t imagine it. “Lock up,” he orders, and then he’s gone, leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.
…
Jordan
I kissed her.
Maybe it only seemed like an innocent peck on the cheek to her, but to me…it was more potent than any other kiss in all my nearly thirty years. It was me crossing a line that I can’t uncross, and I don’t want to. The way I feel when I’m near her, and even when I’m fifty miles away, is so much more than friendly. This weekend, if she agrees to stay with me, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep my hands off of her, but first I need to know if this is one-sided.
How do I do that?
God, I feel like an awkward teenager again, probably because the thoughts I have about her are so inappropriate, especially since she has a history with my little brother, and they have a son together. This is wrong in so many ways, but Maggie and Camden deserve to have someone take care of them. If my brother’s not gonna do it, then I don’t think that means I shouldn’t either. And I want to take care of them. The way I want to take care of Maggie just so happens to involve kissing her and touching every inch of her body.
This weekend I’ll try and figure out if she wants the same thing from me, or if she’s still hung up on my brother. If she is, then I’ll keep my distance and not come between them. But if not, we’ll see where this goes.
Chapter Seven
Maggie
I take Camden to his doctor’s appointment Thursday morning. Thankfully, he’s healthy and just a little underweight for his age. They suggested that I continue to supplement breastfeeding with formula to make sure he’s getting enough to eat and all the nutrients he needs. I can’t help but feel guilty, knowing that it’s my fault for not eating enough decent fruits and vegetables for him.
We make a quick stop at the library for me to trade out my books. Then, when I get home, I pack up the diaper bag and a few changes of clothes for us both, along with the new romances I rented. I’m actually looking forward to getting out of the house this weekend. And staying with Jordan? I think I might faint from the thought of staying overnight with him. By tomorrow he’ll probably bring me back after he sees me drooling over him or watching him while he sleeps like a creepy stalker. I tell myself I need to keep my distance instead of acting all weird around him, but that’s easier said than done.
At six-thirty there’s finally a knock on the door, and I’m so excited to see him that I don’t even check the peephole before yanking it open.
…
Jordan
I’m running late after having to work over. Stupid idiot drove a car into a power pole on one of the main roads, taking out several stoplights at busy intersections. By the time we’ve made all the necessary repairs to restore power, I’m drenched in sweat. I text Maggie that I’m running late and will be on my way as soon as I get a shower.
Finally, at a quarter to eight, I pull up to Maggie’s apartment and head up the stairs. She hadn’t sent a response to my texts about being late, which is sort of unusual since we’ve been texting pretty regularly. Maybe she was feeding Camden or taking a nap.
When I get to the apartment door, I instantly notice that it’s cracked open, which of course has me in a panic. Pushing it open, I walk in slowly and quietly, easing into the kitchen that’s empty. So is the living room. That’s when I notice the little TV is gone, along with the swing. I step into the bedroom, and it looks like it’s been cleaned out too. Nothing is on the dresser, all the drawers are pulled out with articles of clothing hanging out of them like Maggie packed up and left in a hurry. The bed is rumpled, and there’s nothing else but an empty crib and a basket of laundry.
What the hell? Has she taken off without telling me where’s she’s going? I try to remember if I saw her POS in the parking lot; and since I can’t remember, I go back down the stairs and out to look for it. It’s not here. She’s gone.
I’m angry and hurt that she up and left without telling me, but still I pull out my phone and try calling her. A deep, masculine voice answers. When I ask him who the fuck he is and where’s Maggie, he says, “Oh, you mean the girl that sold us this phone? No clue,” before hanging up on me.
Son of a bitch. I’ve been played.
I try to rationalize that maybe she needed the money for food or whatever and that’s why she sold the phone. But that doesn’t make sense. I left her some cash, and she knew I was coming over to get her to take care of them this weekend. I was going to feed them and buy them whatever else they needed.
At the same time, I can’t imagine Maggie up and leaving after the way she sounded happy and excited in our text messages this morning. Nothing makes sense.
The nagging pit in my stomach screams at me that Josh was ri
ght. Maybe the baby is not even Jason’s. Sure, my brother is a selfish prick, but he wouldn’t turn his back on Maggie if he thought for a second the baby was his, right? That’s probably giving him too much credit.
Once I get home, I pace the living room floors, too wound up to sit still, and not having any idea what else to do. I’m so angry I want to hit something. How could she do this to me? Selling the shit I bought and not even saying goodbye. Was it just about the money all along?
I start throwing back one beer after another; and when that doesn’t work to calm me down, I chug hard shit from the liquor cabinet until I pass the fuck out. Flat on my back in bed, I vaguely notice my phone vibrating in my pocket. It takes my uncoordinated hands several tries to pull it free. I hold it out in front of me and then bring it closer, trying to read the text message that’s from Caleb. Right now I don’t want to talk to him or anyone else. I just want to drown myself until I’m good and numb. Until I can stop seeing the big, blue eyes that keep haunting me.
…
A loud thumping sound wakes me up from a deep, deep sleep. I passed out so hard I can barely make my limbs move on command. Another thump and the ringing sound of my doorbell. Both bounce around in my skull, threatening to make it split open. Clearly I’m hung over. What time is it? The room is pitch black with darkness. I have to blink several times to read the jumbled red numbers on the alarm clock that say it’s three a.m. What the fuck? Who the hell would show up at this time of night? Josh? He has a key, so he wouldn't be knocking.
I push myself out of the bed and stumble down the hall to the front door, ready to murder whoever is on the other side, even if it's my brother. I’m not expecting Caleb…or the cop that's with him.
“What the fuck?” I ask, wondering if I’m dreaming. Everything seems so goddamn hazy that I try to rub my eyes to make them work better.
“Jordan, man, sorry for just showing up. I texted and called your phone, but it kept going to voicemail,” Caleb says quickly, running a hand through his dark hair.
“What’s going on?”
“This is Tyler, the friend of mine that looked up that girl, Maggie, for you?”
“Okay? Why are you here?” I ask the serious looking blond man in the black police uniform.
“Because one of Maggie Frasier’s neighbor’s called in a B&E report for her, and I thought you might want to know. She was pretty traumatized, so I called Caleb to see if he could get in touch with you since she said she didn’t have anyone else to call.”
“A B&E?” I ask in confusion, wondering if that’s what I think it is.
“Breaking and entering,” the cop confirms, and my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest and onto the sidewalk.
“Oh, God. Where is she? Are her and Camden okay?” I ask frantically.
The two men share some sort of look, and my stomach drops knowing it’s not good news when neither answer right away.
“They’re both physically fine,” the cop says. “The emergency room doctor said the baby’s a little malnourished, but overall healthy. But Maggie…”
“What?” I exclaim when he pauses for too long.
“She’s still in the Women’s Hospital.”
“Well, fuck, let’s go,” I say as I head back inside to search for my keys and phone. "Is she gonna be okay?"
“Jordan, wait,” Caleb says when he follows me into the living room. “You can go stand around in the overcrowded waiting room, but that’s all, so we might as well wait here. Tyler said they’re not going to let you see her.”
“Why the hell not?” I ask.
“Only family members are allowed, and, um, no men at all,” the cop explains.
“What do you mean ‘no men’ ?” I ask. They can’t ban men from a Women’s Hospital. That’s just nuts.
“She’s in the RTC center,” the cop says.
“RTC?” I ask.
“Rape treatment center,” he replies, but it sounds like I’m hearing him from underwater. The words are all warped because he couldn’t have just say the R word. “Before you freak out, the statement she gave said it was an attempted rape. That when the baby started screaming, they took her car keys and bolted, probably afraid the baby would draw attention to her apartment. But still, the trauma of the situation is why they’re keeping her until they know she’s emotionally capable of taking care of herself and the baby.”
“When?” I ask, my voice cracking. “When did it…”
“Between six and seven last night.”
Oh, God. I think I’m gonna throw up. If I hadn’t been forced to work over... If I had just been there a few hours earlier, none of this would’ve happened.
“Lauren’s with her,” Caleb says, and I feel a tiny bit better knowing that she’s not alone. “She lived in Maggie’s neighborhood when we first met and went through something similar. Not as bad, but…she can sort of relate to what she’s going through.”
“And the baby’s with them?”
“Yeah, and he’s doing fine.”
“How long will they keep her?” I ask, needing to see her. See for myself that she’s okay.
“Until the doctor decides to release her. Lauren’s gonna let me know as soon as she hears.”
“So what am I supposed to do until then?” I ask them.
“Wait. I know that sucks, but there’s nothing else to do,” Caleb says, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder.
I nod and sit down on the edge of my recliner, scrubbing my hands over my face. Everything’s still feeling surreal.
“I was supposed to be there,” I tell them with my head in my hands. “But I had to work late.”
I stare off into space, full of regret and self-loathing for thinking the worst of Maggie when she was going through something so god-awful.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Caleb’s phone rings. “Let’s go,” he says when he hangs up, getting to his feet.
Caleb insists on driving my truck since I had so much to drink earlier. He follows the cop back to Greensboro, annoying the hell out of me because both of them do the speed limit all the way there on the mostly empty highway.
Telling him to drop me off at the front, I jump out and head to the entrance of the hospital that’s swamped just as sun starts to rise. My eyes search frantically over all the people sitting around with no luck.
“Jordan?”
Hearing her say my name, I spin around, almost running into her. I only notice her red-rimmed eyes before my arms wrap around her. She feels more fragile than she looks, which is really saying something. Her fists grip the back of my shirt in both hands before I feel her small body shake with her sobs.
And if my heart wasn’t already broken, she says, “I thought it was you.”
I know she just means it as an explanation, but I’m immediately flooded with even more guilt.
Lauren approaches with Camden sound asleep in her arms, and Caleb wraps an arm around her.
“Tyler's gone to his house to grab an infant car seat,” Caleb tells me softly. “He has twin three-year-old girls that outgrew them a long time ago.”
“Stay close to her,” Lauren says. I nod, appreciating all their help.
Chapter Eight
Maggie
The smell of fresh clean laundry and…something else sweet and masculine is the first thing I notice when I wake up. I press my nose into my pillow to take a deep breath, inhaling more of the wonderful scent. My hands are cramping from how tightly they’re clenched, so I relax them, and realize I was grasping two handfuls of fabric.
When my pillow moves underneath me, my eyes fly open; and I discover that I’m not in my bed, cuddling with my pillow. Nope. I’m in a much more comfortable bed, cuddling with Jordan.
I’ve definitely crossed a line here, which makes my face burn so hot it’s probably glowing.
Adding to my mortification, my bra is wet, indicating I’ve missed a feeding.
“Where’s Camden?” I ask, sitting up in the darkness. There’s light
shining in from the slits of the heavy curtains, which tells me it’s at least late morning. What time did I fall asleep? It feels like it’s been an entire day.
“Don’t worry. Addy’s taking care of him,” Jordan says, his deep voice husky from sleep. Feeling his arms tighten around me, pulling me back down against his chest, makes me feel better, like that I didn’t latch on to him in some awkward way that made him uncomfortable in the middle of the night.
“Who’s Addy?” I ask as I let out a relieved breath, and why am I in Jordan’s bed, in his arms? Not that I’m upset about it, because, God, it’s really nice.
“Sorry. She’s Jake’s fiancée.”
“Oh. Good,” I say with another exhale. Now what the hell am I supposed to do? We’re both definitely awake so there’s no reason for me to stay here…yet, I don’t want to move.
“I’m sorry,” Jordan says so quickly I hardly catch it. “I should’ve made sure you knew I was going to be late. I shouldn’t have been late. I should’ve been there...”
“Stop,” I tell him, leaning back to see his face in the dim room. “It was my fault for opening the door. It was stupid of me. But it’s over and done now. Camden’s fine, and I am too. Just a little shook up. And scared to be alone.”
I know I’m lucky we’re both alive and unhurt because my little boy’s screams scared off the three men before they could harm either of us. I had been terrified when they started groping me through my clothes and crudely telling the things they were going to do…Then just as suddenly as they’d come in, they were gone; and my neighbor, a young guy I had passed in the hallway a few times, was in my living room, asking me if I was okay.
“You’re not going back to that apartment,” Jordan says. “I won’t be able to sleep from worrying about you.”
“I can find somewhere else to live,” I assure him.
“Yeah. Here. I have a guest bedroom. It’s not like you would have to stay in here with me.”
“What if I want to stay in here with you?” I ask, my voice shaking with the question I can’t believe just came out of my mouth.