by Nikki Landis
As the music started a new song, Kellen took my hand and led me to the dance floor. He put one hand on my waist and with the other he grasped my gloved fingers. His eyes were looking me over again and he grinned. We swayed to the music together, Kellen twirling me around occasionally. We talked here and there but nothing substantial until I got curious.
“Kellen, where did you get the Hummer?”
He laughed. “What made you ask that?”
“Well, if you come from a different world, why do you have a vehicle? An expensive one too,” I added.
“It was a gift.”
“A gift? Someone gave you a Hummer? For what?”
“Gratitude, for their life being saved. She was very thankful.” He grinned at my expression.
“She? Are you used to damsels in distress?” I asked him sarcastically.
He laughed, hugging me closer. “Don’t worry about it, ok?”
I didn’t like that he wouldn’t tell me anything specific. Was there something he didn’t want me to know?
“Rhiannon, stop frowning. You have nothing to worry about,” he told me sternly, “besides, you’re much too pretty to pout.”
We danced for a while longer and then took a break to get something to drink. We sipped the standard punch and laughed with our friends. I was still wondering about this other girl. I realized that I must be jealous. Knowing that made me embarrassed. I decided to let it go before he figured that out too. I was sure he would be amused yet again.
Another slow song came on then and Kellen wrapped his arms around my waist. I wound my arms around his neck and we turned slowly across the dance floor. I glanced around and noticed many of my friends were doing the same. Emily and Jarrod were gazing into each other’s eyes, completely oblivious to everyone else. Mariah was dancing with Chad. She was looking very happy as she danced in his arms. Our eyes met and we both smiled.
I turned my attention back to Kellen. He was looking down at me. I smiled at him and leaned my head against his shoulder. We stayed that way for the rest of the song. It must have been a request, because another slow song came on after that. We kept swaying to the music, our bodies moving together in harmony. I pulled back to look up at his face a few minutes later. I was curious to see if he looked as happy as I felt.
His eyes were shining as he looked at me. I smiled in satisfaction. That was good. My face was only inches from his. It would be so easy to reach my lips up to his. I did want him to kiss me at that moment, more than anything. I’m not sure who leaned in first but I noticed that we were both leaning our faces toward each other. I was mesmerized, as always with his handsome face so close to mine. I couldn’t pull my eyes away from his. Just a few more inches…
Suddenly he stiffened and pulled back. His smile was apologetic, but his eyes were guarded. He relaxed slightly, but he didn’t hold me as tightly as before. We continued to dance until the song ended, my mind going a million miles an hour. Finally, the curiosity got to be too much for me.
“Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” I asked.
I could tell he didn’t want to say anything. I pressed him for an answer anyway. “Kellen, please,” I begged.
He sighed. He looked at me for a long minute before he spoke. “I have to be careful Rhiannon. I am your Guardian. I’m not supposed to get involved.”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?” I asked.
He sighed again. “I shouldn’t even be talking about this with you.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Rhia, are you always this curious?” He asked, exasperated.
He sounded irritated and amused again. Was I always funny to him?
“Probably,” I said honestly.
He chuckled. We continued to sway to the music. He suddenly spun me around and off the dance floor, through the open double doors and out into the dark night. He grabbed my hand and we walked slowly toward a row of benches lining a garden that glowed with hundreds of clear lights. The lights reminded me of Christmas twinkle light decorations. The benches were far enough away that the music that was so loud a moment ago now seemed more like background noise.
We sat down together on one of the benches. I looked up at him, waiting. Kellen took my hand in his and cleared his throat. He looked down and into my eyes. They looked sad. Oh no. My heart started racing in my chest. Was he going to tell me he only wanted to be friends? The thought was so disappointing it hurt.
“Rhia, this is really hard for me,” he started.
I immediately thought the worst. He didn’t want to be with me. He was sent to protect me but that was all. My eyes started to tear up. I looked away before they could betray me. There was only one reason I would react this strongly to his words. I cared for him, a lot. I realized that I had been hoping all along for something more than friendship. I felt empty now as I thought of his words.
“Rhiannon, look at me,” he commanded.
I shook my head. I didn’t want him to see. He took my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. His expression turned to horror.
“Are you crying?” He asked incredulously.
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak.
“I’m so sorry darling. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
He put his arms around me and hugged me close. I looked up at him with tears glistening on my cheeks, wanting more than anything to hear how he felt, yet unable to ask. I blushed slightly, embarrassment staining my cheeks crimson.
Kellen looked at me tenderly. His face lowered a couple of inches toward mine. I nearly stopped breathing as I tilted my face up slightly to his in expectation. He seemed to be fighting himself. I saw the struggle on his face for a few seconds. Then he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine.
The kiss was gentle but firm. His mouth lingered against mine as his arms tightened around my back. I was in heaven. My whole body was tingling. This was my first real kiss. It was an exhilarating and slightly scary moment. I was glad it was Kellen. Somehow, it was always going to be him.
He pulled his head back after a few more seconds but kept his firm grip around me. My head was spinning and I felt lighter than air. My breathing was coming fast and shallow. I noticed with satisfaction his breathing was accelerated too. We sat there for a minute trying to recover. His face was still very close to mine. I could feel the heat of his breath against my skin.
“Rhiannon, I…” he seemed to struggle for words, “I can’t fight the way I feel about you anymore.”
“Is that good or bad?” I asked breathlessly.
“That depends on which way you look at it.”
“What does that mean?” I wondered, more to myself than him.
“It means I… care about you and…I have a hard time not showing you that. It means that I want to be more than just your protector… or your friend. I care for you much more than I should. It means I’m not…certain of the way you may feel about that,” he confessed.
It made me smile slightly to hear him stumble over his words like that. Kellen was so articulate all of the time. I realized his feelings must be deep to sound that way.
I leaned my face closer to him, my lips hovering only an inch from his.
“You want to know how I feel?” I asked.
He nodded. His eyes were liquid green. They held my gaze, partly because he was looking at me so intently and partly because they looked uncertain for the first time. He was nervous. That could only mean one thing. He cared for me, a lot, maybe more than I knew. His gaze held mine, I couldn’t look away and I didn’t want to.
“I care about you too,” I answered, “more than a friend, much more.”
“That’s all I needed to know.”
He leaned down and kissed me again, meeting my lips with greater pressure. This kiss was longer, stronger than the last one. His lips were warm against mine. Every cell in my body seemed to be tingling again. After a moment, he pulled his face back slightly. It took everything I had to remember how to breathe. M
y pulse was so loud it sounded like it was thudding in my ears.
“You really look beautiful tonight. I can’t stop staring at you.”
Our mouths were still close to each other. When he spoke, it tickled. “I’m so glad you came with me tonight,” he whispered against my lips, sending a little shiver down my back.
I couldn’t answer. I don’t think he was looking for me to say anything anyway.
“When I said it was hard for me, you thought I meant that I didn’t like you.”
It was a statement, not a question. I nodded.
“Silly girl,” he said, “I like you much more than I should.”
I thought about his admission. He had mentioned it already. I still wasn’t sure what he meant. He noticed my confusion and straightened up to answer me.
“There are certain restrictions for Guardians. We take an oath. These restrictions make it easier to keep us safe, to keep you safe. Feelings, especially strong feelings, complicate things. It can cloud our judgment. Sometimes these feelings can put us in unnecessary danger or you. The restrictions are in place to prevent that,” he explained.
“Is that what you meant when you said it was hard for you?” I asked.
“Yes,” he sighed, “I don’t want to place you in danger. If I were to overreact or be too rash in a decision, I could be hurt and not able to protect you. Worse yet, you could be harmed. I won’t let that happen.”
“I guess that makes sense. What are these restrictions?”
“They are loose rules put in place to protect us both. Basically, they say not to fall in love with your charge. You’re off limits so to speak.”
No falling in love? Had it happened often before? And what exactly did off limits mean?
“These rules, are they enforced? Are there consequences for not following them like regular rules?” I asked.
“All rules have consequences when they are broken Rhiannon.”
He looked uncomfortable. I didn’t miss the fact that he had not answered my question. Would he be in trouble for liking me?
“Could there be consequences for liking me?” I wondered.
I didn’t like the idea of him being punished, especially over me. There was something terribly wrong with the idea of him being disciplined. He was too good for that. Too dedicated as a soldier.
“That is something you don’t need to worry about.”
“Ok, Kellen,” I answered too quickly, not quite hiding my sarcasm.
He sighed. “You have to understand, Rhia, darling. Where I come from, it is very…different. Honor, strength, integrity, ethics…they are all very important. In my land, your word is who you are. Your reputation is everything. As a soldier and Guardian, I am held to a higher standard. I couldn’t, wouldn’t break the rules of chivalry or my oath. It is very serious,” he explained with conviction.
“I guess I can see that,” I told him slowly, “I am still a little confused but…I’ll try to understand…for you.”
I decided not to push it for now and let it go. I looked down at his hands and noticed the ring on his right index finger. He always wore it. I ran my fingers over the band and top, carefully examining it. It looked similar to a college graduation ring. It was big, ornate, and had a huge green stone in the center of it. The color of the stone reminded me of his eyes. Even the gold scrollwork on the sides was very intricate. It looked antique.
“Will you tell me about your ring?” I asked curiously.
“It’s a traditional ring for my kind. It’s…special. All Guardians have one,” he explained carefully.
“It’s beautiful. It looks very old.”
“Yes, it has been passed down in my family for a very long time.”
“Wow that is really special. It’s like my heirloom necklace at home. It’s nice to have something that belonged to your parents,” I told him.
“Yes, true. It helps me to stay connected…to my family.”
“Isn’t your family here with you?” I asked.
I thought Kellen’s family was here. Who was with him at Applebee’s all those months ago then?
“Not all of them.”
Hmmm. Why was he being so secretive?
“Do you have a lot of family then?”
I wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about him that I could. Everything that linked us together. Anything that didn’t. I wanted personal information, information that meant he trusted me. I was also stalling. I wanted to drag out the time I had with him. This moment meant something. It was special. A turning point of our relationship.
“Are you ready to go back to the dance floor?” He asked.
He was changing the subject on purpose. I got the feeling that my questions were something he didn’t want to answer. I brushed that thought aside. All that mattered right now was this moment. Us. Together.
I didn’t want to go anywhere. I wanted to stay right here with him on the bench in the moonlight and twinkle lights. I wished this moment could last forever. It wasn’t realistic, but a nice thought anyway. He seemed to pick up on my mood.
“How about we stay here and watch the moonlight?” He asked me quietly.
“That sounds nice,” I agreed.
I shifted with his arm around me and leaned my head against his shoulder. He stroked my arm absently with his hand while he stared up at the moon. I felt so safe. There was no place in the world that I would rather be. I knew this perfect moment would stay in my mind forever. So much had happened tonight. We had started the night as friends but ended up as more. I wasn’t sure what that ‘more’ was yet. At the moment I didn’t care.
Declaring our feelings for each other seemed more than enough. I never dreamed so much could happen. I still couldn’t believe he had kissed me, twice. If I was honest with myself, I had to admit that I had hoped things would go well tonight. They definitely were going favorably, perfectly I thought. I couldn’t imagine a happier place than sitting in his arms right now.
I slowly ran my hand up his chest and rested it against his shoulder. I sighed contentedly as he tightened his hold around my waist. The night was quiet and peaceful. The only sound was our gentle breathing. We watched as the moon rose higher in the starlit darkened sky…
Chapter Thirteen
Ring! Ring! The phone rang shrilly from the inside of my little clutch purse. I picked it up from the bench, still staring at Kellen and the twinkling lights all around us. Fumbling with the chain and clasp, I almost dropped it, giggling in response. I smiled at Kellen as I answered the phone.
“Hello?”
It was Gran. “Hi honey, I’m sorry to bother you at your dance but I need you to come home right away. Can you do that dear?”
Something was wrong. Her voice sounded off.
“Is everything ok? Are you all right?” I asked anxiously.
Kellen was frowning, his face concerned. He raised an eyebrow at me in silent communication.
“I don’t know sweetie. Please come home as quick as you can. Be careful. Don’t get yourself hurt getting here to me.”
“All right Gran. I’ll see you in a few minutes,” I replied, trying to hide the panic in my voice.
“I love you Rhiannon. Bye Hun.”
“I love you too Gran.”
I clicked the end button on the phone and looked at Kellen. “I need to go home right away. Something is wrong but Gran didn’t tell me. She told me not to rush and get hurt coming home. I’m scared Kellen.” My voice was trembling as much as my hand.
“Let’s get you home and safe then,” he replied, his eyes betraying their distress.
He stood up and put his arm around me, leading us back to the entrance and to a cab quickly. Fortunately there were several lining the curb of the hotel. We were silent during the ride. Kellen held my hand and squeezed it from time to time but it did nothing for my anxious heart.
My thoughts were chaotic and panicked. I never heard Gran sound that way before. I hoped she was all right and Gramps too. There was a sinking fee
ling in the pit of my stomach. An instant fear, border lining on panic, that made my stomach ache. I jumped out of the cab without Kellen’s help the minute we stopped in my driveway. I heard him running behind me.
I burst in the door, frantically calling for Gran. She was sitting on the living room couch.
“What’s going on? Is everything ok?”
I noticed the sadness in her eyes and on her face the second I saw her. Dread filled my stomach with icy fear, leaving it cold and empty. Something had happened, something bad. I looked at her with apprehension in my eyes.
“What’s the matter Gran? What happened?” I asked her quietly.
I was suddenly terrified. Was someone hurt? Was it one of my relatives?
“It’s Gramps. He’s in the hospital, sweetie. He had a stroke a few hours ago. I called you as soon as I could,” Gran told me, her voice shaking slightly.
I blinked, not fully comprehending what that meant. I slid off the couch and onto the floor without even realizing I had moved.
“Gramps? A stroke? What do you mean?” I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of it.
I felt Kellen’s arms come around me and I vaguely understood that he was there but my mind was functioning in slow motion. I shook my head. No, this couldn’t be happening. Gramps was healthy and he was only in his early sixties. He wasn’t that old.
“The prognosis isn’t good. He has a lot of bleeding in his brain, causing too much pressure. They already tried to operate but he is too fragile for surgery. The doctors say he won’t…” Gran couldn’t finish. It wouldn’t come out.
Through the fog inside my brain I finally got it. He was going to die, and probably soon. I started trembling and tears sprang to my eyes. My Gramps, my sweet grandpa was dying. The tears fell down my cheeks and my shoulders shook with the sobs that broke free from my chest. I cried even harder when I looked at Gran’s face and saw the suffering there. I got up and put my arms around her, squeezing her tight. We sat on the couch, sobbing in each other’s arms.
Kellen stood there patting us both on the back and being what comfort he could. After a while, the sobbing died down to crying. I looked at Gran and then at Kellen. His eyes were moist too. He felt our pain, and he was there to help. I was so glad to have him there right then. I grabbed some tissues off the table and handed one to Gran while I dried my own eyes. We needed to go see Gramps, this could be my last chance to say goodbye.