by Heart,Skylar
“Hi, dear. I’m Lizzy and Lola’s mum.” Mum goes over to her, chatting, introducing herself and probably our family history.
I take off the jacket and grab a thinner shirt that I wrap around my waist, then I take the bag and put it on. “I’m ready to leave. Is Hunter here yet?” I haven’t heard his bike, but I was a bit busy with trying to stop getting driven insane by my mum.
“Yeah, he’s out front.” Hanna winks at me and I have to avert my eyes so I won’t blush. “We’re all waiting on you.” She easily avoids my mum’s fussing.
“Let’s go then. Don’t want to keep the monkeys waiting.” I laugh as Hanna looks at me.
“Monkeys? Those at the zoo, or those waiting in front of the house?” She grins and my mum lets out a gasp.
“Either?” I step past them and make my way through the house, out the front door. Where I’m stopped right in my tracks. Hunter. He’s dressed in tight black jeans, a dark gray, nearly charcoal, shirt that stretches over his muscles, and army boots. I can’t keep my eyes off of him. He’s apparently just bleached his hair, as it’s brighter than when I saw him yesterday and the darker roots are gone. His eyes twinkle as he laughs at something Lola says. Oh, wow. My body instantly goes into overdrive as a fluttery feeling starts in my body. He looks amazing. I thought that I’d seen him at his best that day in the forest, but this is different, this is even sexier.
Then he looks up and his eyes darken in a way that makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. He flashes me a smile that makes my skin flush. Dammit. He isn’t supposed to do that. I’m not supposed to feel like this.
I walk to them and put my head on Lola’s shoulder, but my eyes stay on Hunter. “I’m ready to go.”
Lola wraps her arm around me and squeezes for a moment. “Good. Put your bag in the back and get in the car.”
When I walk past Hunter, I hear the intake of air, and I think I see him move from the corner of my eyes, but when I turn to him, he hasn’t changed. I shrug and throw the bag in the back of the car, then Hanna is right next to me.
“I get car sick easily. Is it okay if I sit up front?” She looks at me and I nod.
“I’m fine either way.”
“Yay. Thank you.” She steps closer, meaning to hug me, but then steps back, smiling sheepishly. “Well, let’s get going then. Before it gets so hot that we’ll boil inside the car.”
I follow her to her side of the car and sit in the back seat, pulling the door closed.
Hunter steps in from the other side. “I guess we’re stuck like this for a couple of hours, eh?” He looks at me and then smiles.
Heat rises in my cheeks and I shrug. “I don’t mind. As long as Hanna doesn’t move too far back, this is the best spot to sit anyway.”
“What about me?” Hanna turns to us.
“Nothing, nothing.” I grin, glad for the distraction.
“Lizzy, Mum said to give you this.” Lola throws me a small bag, and when I look inside, there’s a bottle of water, an apple and another meal bar. So that is her way of getting them to me, even though I took them out of the bag in the first place.
“Thanks.” I sigh and put the bag in the back too. It’s not like I’ll need them right now.
“Anything good?” Hanna tries to look at me.
“Nah. Just stupid stuff.” It’s not like I’ll show her the bars. There is only so much embarrassment I can take.
Lola eyes me through the rear view mirror. She knows exactly what is in it. She knows why Mum gave it to me. I may have been a little light on the breakfast today… Then she starts the car, and we’re off.
In the front, Lola and Hanna are chatting away as they try to navigate the route to the zoo. It’s been a while, for all of us apparently.
I put my head back and stare out the window, watching and slowly dozing off as the streets keep passing me by. I’ve nearly fallen asleep as my phone buzzes. I slide the phone from my pocket and see that I have a message from Hunter.
‘You look amazing. So that is what you look like when you don’t have to worry about getting dirty.’
I look his way, but he’s also staring out the window, even though there is a small smile on his lips. ‘It’s not that different from normal.’ I send the message, and then another one. ‘You didn’t come by bike?’ I hadn’t heard the bike, but also, he normally doesn’t wear army boots, he wears biker or tank boots.
‘Nah.’ I can feel him move, and when I look his way he has turned to me, his eyes going over me. When he looks up at my face, he licks his lips and grins.
I can’t help but laugh now. There’s crazy and there’s crazy. And this, this type of thing, this is crazy for me. ‘Fine, now act normal. I don’t want them to get the wrong idea.’ I grin as I send the message, but when I see Hunter read the message and then see his face fall, I immediately feel bad.
‘But what if I’m not trying to give them ideas, just you?’ I know that his eyes are on me when I read the message, but I can’t look at him. Instead I turn to the window again.
What about giving me ideas? I don’t need any ideas. I already know that this isn’t happening anyway. It’s only cruel to play with me like that. I get another message, but I don’t look at it, instead only focusing out the window, watching the roads pass by and half-listening to Hanna and Lola. It was Lola’s idea to do this anyway. I’m just tagging along. There is no reason for me to think that Hunter wants anything more from me than just being friends, even if he has weird ways of showing it.
It’s seriously hot at the zoo. There are people everywhere, which is expected on a Saturday. We’ve seen the elephants and the lions and we’re on our way to the tigers. Lola and Hanna are walking in front of us, still chatting. I’m not sure what about, but they seem to have become friends quickly.
Hunter bumps into me and I step to the side. But he grabs my arm and pulls me out from in front of a family with a stroller. Whoa.
“Thanks.” I looks up at him, but then look away again. I can’t do this. I can’t keep being awkward with him. Why did I agree to come here? Why did I agree to come with them?
“No problem.” When Hunter lets me go, I immediately miss his touch. “Watch your step.”
“Hey, do you want to eat something?” Hanna waits for us to join them.
Lola and Hunter both look at me, waiting to see what I decide. “Um…”
“I was thinking, we’re near the snake exhibit now. Who wants to go in?” Hunter speaks before I need to come up with an answer.
“No thanks.” Lola shivers. If Hunter knows her, then he knows that she’ll deny anything to do with snakes, or any reptiles really.
“Ehh.” Hanna frowns. “I think I’ll stay with Lola.”
“Too bad. Are you coming with?” His eyes are on me. I know that he is trying to do something, even though I’ve got no idea what.
“I dunno…” I’m not much of a fan of snakes myself.
“I don’t want to go on my own, and I haven’t seen the exhibit in years. Please?” He cocks his head to the side. “We’ll meet up with Lola and Hanna at the food court in an hour or so?”
And that is his way out, I guess. I have to admit, snakes are better than having to eat in public. “Okay.” I turn to Lola and Hanna. “I’ll see you in an hour.” I can see the relief in Lola’s eyes, either from my way to get around having lunch out in the open, or not having to see the snakes, probably both.
“Don’t wait on us with ordering. We’ll grab something when we get out of the exhibit. Right?” Hunter turns to me.
“Right.” I nod.
“Okay, well… You’ll miss the awesome tigers. But see you soon!” Hanna starts to pull Lola along. “I could use some shade and I think the tiger exhibit is in the shade.”
Lola looks over her shoulder at us as she’s dragged off, but I just smile at her and wave. I’ll be fine.
“Okay. Give me your bag.” Hunter holds out his hand.
When I just look at him, not moving, he shrugs.
“It looks heavy, and you’ve been carrying it all morning.” He keeps holding out his hand and I finally give in. He’s right, it’s heavy and way too sweaty. “Thanks. Now, let’s get inside. Hanna was right, I’ve been out in the sun long enough now.” He starts walking and I follow him, getting a good look at his ass, the way his jeans fit him perfectly. I should not have walked behind him. It makes me want to reach out and touch all the strong planes of muscle that are hiding under the shirt.
Inside the exhibit it’s cooler, not exactly cold, since snakes don’t do well in the cold, but it’s cooler than it was outside in the full sun.
Hunter immediately goes over to one of the terrariums and looks inside. I follow him. When I peek inside, I can’t find the snake anywhere.
“Nothing here?” I look around but don’t see anything.
“Yes, there is.” Hunter grins, then he steps closer, his arms now on either side of me, and points to somewhere in a top corner in a tree. There is a light green snake, rolled up and draped over a branch. He looks cute, in a way. But what has much more of my attention is Hunter’s body so close to mine. I can feel the heat of his skin against my back and shoulders.
I swallow hard. “Hmm. I see.” My voice is hoarse and I clear my throat. “He doesn’t look very active.”
“He probably isn’t. Snakes aren’t very active anyway, unless they’re hunting. And they get fed enough here that they don’t really need to worry much about food.” Hunter puts his hand on my arm for a moment before he steps away. “My favorite is over here though.” He slides his hand into mine like it’s the most natural thing in the world as he pulls me along to another terrarium.
My whole body heats up and starts tingling. He’s holding my hand. He’s holding me. I feel strange inside, and I’m not sure if it’s the good or the bad kind of strange. Or is the good the bad kind of strange anyway?
“Look at the size of this one.” Hunter lets me go as he steps closer to the glass. When I don’t react, he looks at me. His eyes lose their spark, instead worry starting to edge in his features. “Are you okay?”
I nod, even though I’ve got no idea if I am. My heart is beating fast and I feel like I could break out of my skin at any moment.
He starts fussing and guides me to a seating area. “Here, sit down.”
I can’t help but laugh. This is not really the issue. He is the issue.
“I’m doing something wrong, aren’t I?” He kneels in front of me, looking at me attentively.
I open my mouth, but then shake my head. “No, it’s just… You keep touching me.”
His eyes go wide. “Oh. Sorry. I get excited sometimes. I know you don’t…”
I reach out, putting my fingers to his lips, then I pull them back. I don’t want him to stop. There is nothing I want more than his fingers, his hands on me. But I don’t know how I can even say that.
He takes my hand in his and puts it on his cheek, holding it there. “I like it when you touch me.” His voice is low and hoarse.
And my heart starts beating louder, my blood rushing in my ears. All I want is to reach out and touch him more. But at the same time, I’m looking at the bruises on his face and I know that there are more under his shirt. His very sexy shirt.
Hunter smiles sadly as he stands up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do this.” He’s about to step away, but I quickly grab his hand, holding onto it as I stand up too.
Holding his hand I can do. I’m so nervous and my heart is going crazy, but I don’t want to let go.
He rubs his thumb over my hand as he squeezes. “Let’s move to the next area, they’ve got night animals in the back. Not everything here is snakes.” He smiles, his eyes bright again, as he pulls me along.
I follow him, my whole focus on him, on our hands, on how he acts when we’re just alone.
When we reach the next hall, it’s slightly brighter in here and there are other terrariums here. “Ah, bearded dragons, come see, they’re cute.” He pulls me along, and when we’re in front of a glass, I can see a weird little creature walk along the sand. It’s a reptile, but his head is broad and he’s got sort of spiky manes along his jaw. You could call it a beard, yeah. Hunter grabs his phone and takes a couple of pictures of it. “Now I can draw it later.” He grins, but it falters when I reach out and put one of his hands on my hip, wrapping his arm around me. “Lizzy…” His breath comes out unevenly.
I wrap my arm around his hip and lean against him. I’m scared, but not of Hunter. With Hunter around I feel safe. I’m scared of what I might do, of what is going on. “Just let me…” Let me stay here for a while longer. Let me do this. Let me…
“Always.” He leans closer and kisses the top of my head.
I squeeze him tighter, getting overwhelmed with the feelings. His beating heart against my ear, the heat of his skin on my arm, his lips against my hair. I let out a shaky breath. Damn this. This was a bad idea, wasn’t it? We’ll never be able to get back to how we were, not when we’re like this. Not when being this close feels this good.
“Come, let’s move.” Hunter tugs at me, but doesn’t let me go. We take a couple of awkward steps before we fall into a rhythm, walking past a couple more terrariums and then into a hall that is a lot darker. “Night creatures.” Hunter’s voice rumbles, making all the nerves that calmed down a bit flare up again. “Come.” He steps down a side path and we’re off the main route. There are some seats against a wall and Hunter sets me down before he sits next to me. He leans back and pulls me against him, his arm around my shoulder heavy and hot.
I look up at him. His eyes are dark in the room, but I know that he’s also looking at me.
“I never thought that you’d be able to do anything that makes me want you like this. Damn, Lizzy.” His voice is soft and hoarse, and he pulls me a little tighter.
“Same to you.” I don’t mean to say it, but still do.
Hunter laughs, but then quiets.
I look up at him, and the desire in his eyes takes my breath away. I shift in my place, reach out, slide my fingers into the bleached hair at the back of his neck and pull his head down to me. I cover his lips with mine. His lips are soft and warm, giving in as I push on.
Hunter pulls at me, wrapping his arms around me and shifting me so I’m on his lap.
I slide both hands into the back of his hair and open my mouth slightly on a gasp. Hunter slides in his tongue into my mouth, slowly exploring, teasing. We share a breath and another one. A heat starts building in my belly, a heat that I’ve never experienced before. I push against him, exploring his mouth, exploring this new feeling.
Hunter moans, and that finally breaks the spell. I slide from his lap and look at him.
Damn. No. We can’t do this.
“Lizzy.” He reaches out, but I step away.
“We can’t.” I’m shaking and I quickly sit down, far enough from Hunter that he can’t wrap his arm around me again. It was fun, the touches, the way I react to him. But we can’t do this. I can’t do this.
“I know. I know. But I can’t help wanting you.” His voice is careful, and he doesn’t reach out, I want him to hold me, but I also don’t want him to hold me. But he just keeps to himself.
“I want you too.” I feel tears coming up. All the buzzing and excitement are leaving my body. I’m crashing back to reality at high speed and it leaves me feeling so empty.
“Then why?”
“Because it can only go wrong. I’m broken, and I’ve seen the darkness in your eyes. We can’t do this. We can’t do this without breaking each other more.” I hold out my hand. “Can I have my bag back?” I need to go, I need to leave, now.
“Please, stay here with me a little longer.” He does hand me my bag though.
I do as he asks, not really in a state to leave either. We’re sitting there in silence for a while longer. Then Hunter reaches out, holding out his hand between us. I look at it for a while, then I slide my hand into his, holding on tightly. My body immediately comes back
to life.
“I didn’t mean for that to happen. I feel like I keep apologizing. But…” He lets out a deep breath. “I was just hoping for some time alone with you. I’ve missed spending time with you. None of this was planned.”
I hear what he’s saying and I feel it too. Wanting to spend time together, being comfortable being together. “I know. I’ve… missed you too.” I run my thumb over his fingers this time. “I’ve never felt like this before. Never.”
“You’ve never had someone you were interested in before?” I look up at the confusion in his voice.
Then I look away from his intense eyes, shaking my head. I’ve never been interested in someone like this, I’ve never wanted to keep touching them, to have them hold me, just for the feeling of being held.
I’m weird, damaged, broken, what else did he expect?
I don’t even know what it feels like to be held in the arms of a true lover.
Chapter 16
Hunter
I look at her and want nothing but to hold her close again. There is a pain in her eyes that I want to ease, that I want to take away. If she’s never been interested in someone before, then… “Have you had a boyfriend before? Or girlfriend?” Doesn’t really matter either way.
“Yes,” she answers as she looks up. “But I never knew… I never understood…” Her eyes water and no matter how much I want to give her space, I pull her closer and wrap my arms around her.
Seeing her fear, her pain, her confusion, it hurts. I don’t even know how to make it better. Or if I’m even the best person to attempt it.
Her fingers curl up in my shirt, holding on tight, her breath coming out unevenly.
“Are you… Have you…” Damn, how am I even going to ask this without sounding like a big asshole?
“I’m not a virgin, if that is what you’re asking. I’m not…” She takes a deep breath and relaxes somewhat in my arms. “I’ve done that before, but… I guess I… I dunno.”
Well, if she normally hates being touched, if she has never felt excitement like this before… I can’t even imagine what she must have felt like. “Are you okay with me touching you?”