by Heart,Skylar
“Have you seen Lizzy?” She looks worried.
“She’s getting some supplies with Tamara. They should be back soon.” I stub out the cigarette and turn to her. “Why?”
She shrugs. “I expected her here and she wasn’t.”
“You don’t have to keep track of her all the time.” I step closer, not stepping into the building yet, but close enough that I can look at her directly.
“Because you will?” Her eyes harden as she asks the question.
Without missing a beat, I answer her. “Yes.” A shiver goes down my spine as I realize what I’m saying. “Yes.”
Lola frowns as she shakes her head. “I don’t get it. Why do you two do this? I don’t want to see you or her get hurt again. This can only go badly.”
“I’d never hurt her.”
“You hurt her by hurting yourself, she hurts you by hurting herself. And if there is one thing you two excel at, it’s hurting yourselves. How do you even…” She sighs. “I don’t get it.”
“You don’t have to, as long as Lizzy gets it. I’ve never hurt her. I will never hurt her.” My voice rises but I rein myself in again. “But I also can’t let her go.”
Lola looks at me like I’m insane. “You’re so stubborn. What happens when you get in trouble again? Won’t that hurt her? How can you say that you’d never hurt her when you live like that?”
“I haven’t—” I haven’t gotten into a fight in weeks. I haven’t had alcohol in over a month. Sure, Lola doesn’t see it, but I know that Lizzy does. “I won’t get in trouble again. I won’t because I—” I stop myself. Because I what? Love her? It’s the truth, isn’t it? It has been for a while now, even if I don’t dare to think about it.
Lola nods, but I know that she doesn’t believe me. She only knows the me who always did stupid things, she’s never seen that I can also be different. That that’s not who I am, who I want to be. But I also don’t feel like arguing with her.
“Just know I won’t hurt her. I know Blaze was an asshole, I know Lizzy’s ex was an asshole. But not all guys are like that.” I step past her, walk back to the table where Lizzy and I were working.
Lola stomps past me.
“Hey, you’re not waiting for Lizzy?” I speak up, hoping that she’ll still hear me.
“No. Since you apparently are now the person who will do everything for her, you can accompany her to the clinic today.” Her voice is on edge. Maybe I went too far with my last comment. I’m pretty sure that I did. But I’m not like that anymore, even if Lola can’t see it. Lola keeps reminding me of a different time, of when I was a different person. And I guess that maybe we both have to get to learn to live with the new persons we are.
Lizzy’s hands snake around my shoulders, her arms around me. “Hey, what were you thinking? You looked upset.”
I smile as I kiss one of her arms. “Nothing. Nothing to worry about. Did you get what you needed?”
Lizzy’s breath stops for a moment and I realize my mistake… Whoops. “Yes…” she mumbles and slowly lets go of me. The shutters go down behind her eyes and she walks away, greeting Tamara, who drags in a whole bag of supplies.
Fuck. Why did I do that?
Because I want to. That’s why. That’s why I keep doing this, why I keep putting myself in these stupid situations. I can’t not do it anymore.
When Lizzy comes back to the table, her eyes still averted, I reach out and carefully touch her arm. “What are you doing this weekend?”
“I—” She shrugs. “I’m going to pack up my bags. They’re letting me out the clinic.”
“What?” I tug on her arm, making her look at me. “That’s amazing news.”
“I’ll still be an out-patient.” She shrugs.
“But you’ll be at home in the evenings. That must be good. Right?” Why doesn’t she look excited by this prospect?
“I guess.” She stands up, looking lost, and then wanders to the back door.
I follow her and as she looks out the window of the back door, I wrap my arms around her. “What’s wrong? You should be happy about this.”
“Should I? I may be allowed to sleep at home, but I still need to get back to the unit at least once every day. How is that better?” She leans against me, covering my hands with hers.
“Well, I could invite you to spend time at my place…” I murmur the words, softly enough that if she wants to ignore them, she can. I need to be brave. After everything that has happened, I need to be brave and finally take the next step. I don’t want to be just friends, and I don’t think that we ever really were.
Lizzy holds me tighter. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I put my lips to her beautiful dark hair and breathe.
She takes a deep breath. “When?”
“Whenever you like.”
Lizzy turns around in my arms, looks up at me. I can see her search my eyes for something, anything. But I don’t have anything to hide. I want her at my side, maybe forever. She averts her eyes again, but not before I put one hand under her chin and angle her head up.
“I’ll wait for you, however long it takes.” Then I carefully close my lips over hers. First she stills in my arms, not letting me in, then she lets out a gasp and melts in my embrace. I dip into her mouth and she lets out a small sound that lights my body aflame. Then her hands come up around me and she grasps onto the back of my shirt, holding on tight. Her lithe body moulds against mine perfectly and we stand like that for a while, wrapped around each other. When I finally let her mouth go, our breaths come out harsh.
She looks up at me, her eyes dark, filled with lust. Damn. I never want her to look like that at another guy, not ever. She brings her fingers to her mouth, tracing her lips, hiding her sweet smile. I know many things that I’d like to do with her, things that require more privacy and a lot fewer clothes.
I’m under her spell, no matter how much I’ve been trying to fight it.
“Let’s go.” I grab Lizzy’s bag and put it in the back of the car.
“Hunter…” she squeaks, eying the house behind her, her parents’ house. “I can’t just leave.”
“Why not?” I lean back on the car, stretching myself, making her look at me instead of the house.
“Just…” She looks at me, and I know that she wants to come to me. “I’ve only been back for one night.” She takes a few steps, then looks back.
“So? It’s Friday evening, the start of the weekend. You wanted to come over.” I grin as her mouth opens and she colors.
“You’re not being fair.” She pouts, adorable.
“Why not?” I grab my phone. “It says here. ‘You wouldn’t dare to steal me away from my parents.’ I’m here, aren’t I?”
“I…” She sighs and I try to contain my grin, I don’t want to freak her out too much. Of course, I knew she may be a bit difficult about actually following what she said, so I put on the tightest pair of jeans and the tightest shirt I’ve got. I had to play on her other sensibilities somehow.
“You what?” I reach out. She’s nearly close enough to touch now. Ever since our kiss a few days ago, it’s been hard to not touch her. And we’ve had a couple of comments that we should get a room, with lots of eye rolling. Well, I’m trying that now, a room, my room.
She weaves her fingers through mine, stepping closer, stepping right up against me. “You’re evil.”
I kiss the tip of her nose, grinning. “Oh, I’m totally aware.” I wrap my arms around her. “You left a note, they’ll be fine. Come, I want to have some fun together.”
She rolls her eyes as she finally smiles. “Okay…” She steps back. “Let’s go, then.”
I open the door to the car and Lizzy steps in. Then I walk to the other side and get behind the wheel. I drive off, quickly making my way through the city. Even if they don’t find Lizzy’s note, I already messaged Lola that I was picking up Lizzy for the night. She wasn’t very happy, but I’ll deal with that another time.
“Where are we going?�
� Lizzy looks out the window, her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
“My studio.” Nothing fancy, nothing weird. I just want to spend the night with her, a quiet and easy night, after all the mess that we’ve been through. After all the crap that happened the last time she was at my place.
“Ah.” She nods and it calms her down somewhat.
I drive through the streets, making my way to the studio and parking the car. I open my door but Lizzy doesn’t move. “What’s wrong?”
She looks to the motorbike parked next to mine, frowning. “Whose is that?”
“Mine.” I smile. Earlier today I bought a new bike, similar to the one I used to have. This one needs a lot of work though, which I’m okay with. It makes a nice project to work on now that I no longer feel that tension inside every time I look at a bike.
“It’s beautiful. Are you going to leave the colors like that?” The motorbike is a matte black, simple and functional.
“Nah, gonna paint it, but have to get it to work first.” I look at her. “You interested in helping?”
“The painting or the repairing?” She looks at me, and I can see the excitement, her eyes twinkling.
“Both.” I grab her bag from the backseat and step out of the car, then I make my way to the other side and hold the door open as Lizzy steps out.
“You don’t have to do that.” She rolls her eyes.
“I want to. Or you’d stare at the bike all evening.” I close the door behind her and weave my fingers through hers as we make our way inside the building, up the elevator and to my studio. When we’re finally inside, I put the bag aside and take her in my arms again.
Lizzy melts right against me, wrapping her arms around me. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?” I have many reasons. I’m not sure she’d want to know any of them.
“Always inviting me over.” Her voice is quieter now, unsure, insecure.
I frown. Eh, that’s not going the right way… I let her go and guide her to the couch, make her sit down. Then I sit down next to her. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“There are so many other girls who would be so much more fun than me. I’m no fun.” She looks at her hands again. I thought we were past this, but apparently not.
“Because I like spending time with you.” And I’d love to do more than just spend it with her.
“But why?” She shakes her head. “Why me?” She looks up at me, and I’m not sure what is going on in her head, but it hurts her.
“Because you’re smart, and cool, and you make the most amazing art.” There are so many other reasons too…
“Yeah, but…” Her brows knit.
I take her arms, and that makes her look at me. “I don’t care that there are others. I only want you.”
Lizzy’s mouth drops open and I’m sure that she forgets to breathe for a moment, then she shakes her head.
I slide my hand down the side of her face, cupping her cheek. She meets my eyes finally. “I love you.” I say the words, but before she can reply, I cover her lips with mine. I don’t want to hear her turn me down.
She opens for me on a gasp and I dip my tongue into her mouth, taking her breath away, taking all the thoughts away. Then her fingers tighten in my shirt and she pulls me closer, as close as she can get me.
I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. When I finally break the kiss, I can’t help but repeat the words. “I love you. I love you.” My heart swells and the feeling coming over me is indescribable. It’s so big and it makes me want to strip Lizzy right then and there and hold her as tight as I can. I love this girl, this broken girl who doesn’t even know how amazing she is.
Lizzy looks at me, her eyes dark, her breath shallow, but I still see the shock in her eyes. She did not expect this.
When her silence keeps on a little too long, I touch her cheek and she immediately leans against me. “Lizzy?”
“I… I love you too.” Her eyes glisten and tears slowly lose their hold onto her eyelashes and start to roll down her cheeks. “I love you too.” My heart swells up even more, so much that I don’t know if I can even contain it any longer. How can someone have so much feeling inside them?
“That wasn’t exactly what I was asking.” My words are breathless and Lizzy smiles softly.
“I know. It’s still true.” She wipes at her cheeks.
“Then why are you crying?” I come up more, my lips close to hers.
“I never thought you’d ever say that. I never knew… I don’t know…” She starts to babble and I cover her lips with mine again. This time I just hold her close. Soft and long kisses, short and desperate, we exchange them all, holding onto each other as much as we can. As tightly as we can. Not wanting to let go.
There is so much that I still want to tell her, so many things that I want to share with her, but for now, this is enough, this is exactly enough. Right now, I just want to share this with her, because there is nothing better than having her in my arms. To have her pushing close against my body.
Chapter 29
Lizzy
My heart is bursting. He told me that he loved me. Of all the things I thought he’d ever tell me, I’m not sure why I never expected this. Maybe because I never really felt like this before, maybe because I was too scared. Maybe because I knew he already loved Tessa. But he said it, not once, multiple times, in a voice that makes me heat up inside. That makes my body feel things that only he can make me feel. I run my hands over his back, touching him as much as I can, wanting him, needing him.
“Forget about anything else, just think of us.” Hunter’s low voice rumbles through his chest and I smile. Think of us. Us. Finally. Hunter’s hand slides down and I feel him slip a hand under the back of my shirt.
I can’t suppress the shiver that runs through me and I push closer to him, wanting to be as close as possible, needing to be as close as possible.
“I want to touch you so badly,” he murmurs against my neck as he slips his other hand under my shirt too.
The pressure in my body rises and I push against him more. Yes, yes, please. I slide my hands down and put my hands under his shirt too. “Only if you take your shirt off too.” My cheeks heat up as I say the words.
Hunter chuckles and his lips play on my neck. “Of course.” He leans back and pulls his shirt off, exposing his sexy body, flexing his muscles as he sees me watch. Damn, I’ve never wanted to touch anyone like I want to touch him.
I reach out and run my fingers over his chest, exploring the swirls of the tattoos, exploring the raises and dips of his muscles, of his abs. I feel the flexing of his muscles everywhere I touch, the slight tremor as he tries not to move as I explore him. I lean forward and put my lips to his chest, kissing, nibbling, as Hunter keeps his hands on my hips, holding me tightly.
“Lizzy…” His voice is hoarse. “Damn…”
I look up at him, almost getting lost in the darkness of his eyes, in the lust as he looks at me. So many unspoken things pass between us, but then he pulls me closer and takes my lips in a kiss. A rough, hard, lip-bruising kiss. All thoughts get lost and I scramble to hold onto him, to ground myself against him. I gasp and he dips his tongue into my mouth, eliciting a deep moan from me. I pull back, flushing, surprised, and totally burning up inside.
He reaches up to my face, putting his hand to my cheek as he runs his thumb over my lips. “You’re so beautiful, so amazing. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”
I open my lips, letting his thumb slip into my mouth and, in an unfamiliar bout of excitement, I suck on his thumb. His eyes darken even more and I feel his moan pass through my body as he crashes his mouth onto mine again. His hands are back under my shirt, his hot and rough hands against my heated skin. I love it, the contrast between rough and soft, his excitement about touching me. It’s heady, knowing that this amazing guy wants me and me alone.
“Can I pull your shirt off?” he whispers against my ear as he kisses my neck, keeping touchin
g me, kissing me.
I nod, not trusting my voice. Yes, please. I want to feel my skin against his, I want to get to know him as well as I can, memorizing everything.
He holds the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls it off, exposing my body, my stomach, my chest, pulling higher and higher, and at last freeing my arms. I’m uncertain for only a moment, the moment it takes me to find his eyes roving all over me, until I see the look that tells me that there is nothing in this world he’d rather look at right now. Like I’m beautiful, precious, like I deserve to be loved.
I swallow hard, putting my arms around his shoulders, not sure where else to keep them as his eyes never leave my body, until he puts his hands around me and looks up, licking his lips.
“You’re so beautiful.” He leans forward and kisses up my arm, to my shoulder, not avoiding the scars, but also not lingering on them, just accepting them. Then he kisses down the middle of my body, his lips rough, leaving a trail of goosebumps.
His hands move, slowly sliding up and to the front of my chest. My self-consciousness rises. I’m not that big up front, I never have been, so I don’t really wear sexy bras or other sexy underwear as you usually need a bit more to fill those. He runs his thumbs over the sports top I wear, as I’m not comfortable going bare. My nipples react immediately and harden through the fabric.
I gasp, pushing against his hands more. Whoa. I never… Just like last time, Hunter seems to be able to make my body come alive just by touching, just by knowing where to put his hands.
He slides his thumbs under the fabric and I roll my hips against him, needing friction in other places too, trying to release the tension running through my body.
“You okay?” He looks up at me, licking his lips, his breath irregular.
“Yes,” I whisper, my voice so low I barely recognize it, and Hunter’s eyes flare as a satisfied grin pulls up one side of his mouth.
He takes the bottom of my sports top and pulls it off too, exposing me, my whole upper body now bare. His eyes won’t leave me and he pulls me up closer, lifting me slightly. I’m about to pull back before his lips wrap around my nipple and a moan is pulled from me.