by K. J. Parker
I didn’t do anything, really, Poldarn thought, as he rolled the dead monk on to his side with his boot. He had to stand on Torcuat’s chest to get enough purchase to haul the sword out again (but he couldn’t just abandon it, it didn’t belong to him). I suppose that counts as revenge, but I wasn’t really all that fussed. I didn’t blame him, personally.
‘Nicely,’ said the voice behind his shoulder. ‘These freaks, they think they know it all, but when it comes to a real fight, they haven’t got a clue.’
Poldarn straightened his back. ‘No,’ he said, ‘they haven’t.’
‘Goes to show,’ the voice went on. ‘If you’d been one of them, I expect you’d have tried to have a fencing match. But you sorted him out just like I’d have done, so I guess you’re one of us after all. So that’s all right.’
‘Good,’ Poldarn said. Part of him seemed to mean it.
‘Right,’ the voice went on, ‘now that I’ve seen you kill one of ’em, not much point in me hanging round you any more. You carry on, and have a good time. Any idea where they keep the small, valuable stuff?’
Poldarn thought for a moment. ‘You could try the abbot’s lodgings,’ he said. ‘I saw some nice inkwells and candlesticks and small silver lamps.’
‘Sounds good to me,’ the voice said, and someone brushed past Poldarn’s left shoulder. He got a glimpse of the man’s back as he strode away.
This, then, was the good bit. Judging by the number of bodies scattered round the main yard, most of the monks must already be dead; certainly, their numbers had to have fallen below the critical point where they could no longer mount any kind of meaningful resistance. Poldarn guessed that there would now be a short interval for looting, after which they’d burn the place down and be on their way – down the hill into the town, maybe, or perhaps their schedule wouldn’t allow it. Over at the coach-house, they were backing out carts ready to be loaded up with good things (harvest festival, bringing home the fruits of hard work and divine favour). And for his own part, he was on his own, with nobody watching. Copis, he thought.
Of course, he had no way of knowing whether she was still alive, or still in the abbey, let alone where to find her, but instinct had served him well this far, and he had nothing else to do. If she was still alive, chances were she’d be in whatever the monks used as a prison or dungeon. From what he’d seen of the order, he figured it was a safe bet they had something of the sort.
A live monk would be able to tell him where to find the dungeons, but there didn’t seem to be any of them left. Poldarn looked round, wishing he knew what a dungeon looked like, and suddenly felt an urge to try a small door at the back of what he’d assumed was some kind of store, because it only had two small, barred windows high up in the wall. Divine intuition, he muttered to himself, and walked quickly across the yard, stepping over the dead where necessary.
The door was open. There was a monk in the small outer room; he was sitting on the floor with his back to the wall, both hands pressed to his stomach. When he tried to stand up, his knees buckled and he flopped down on his face. Poldarn put a foot on the back of his neck and stabbed him once through the ear, after which he stopped moving. Then he frowned and flipped the backsabre over a couple of times, wondering if there was something familiar about the monk’s face. Probably just his imagination.
Whoever I used to be, I know who I am now, and that’s all that matters.
He liked the sound of that; it was simple, and positive. He saw another door in front of him, and kicked it open.
It wasn’t a dungeon, it was a store. The wall opposite the door was covered from floor to ceiling with shelves, lined with thousands of neatly folded blankets. Against the wall to the right there stood five enormous wooden bins, heaped almost to overflow point with charcoal. To his left was a large pile of kindling, tied up in small bundles, enough to light one regulation fire. Standing in front of the kindling was Copis, and she was holding a sword in both hands.
‘Stay away from me,’ she said. ‘Or I’ll kill you.’
Poldarn hadn’t been expecting that. ‘Copis, it’s me,’ he said. ‘I’ve come to rescue you,’ he added, feeling extremely foolish.
‘Go away,’ she said, then her face relaxed just a little. ‘You bloody fool, haven’t you worked it out yet?’
Poldarn shook his head.
‘Then you’re even more stupid than you look,’ she snapped. She looked embarrassed, as if he’d caught her stealing from the cashbox. ‘You don’t still think we came here by accident, do you?’
‘Accident,’ he repeated. ‘What are you talking about?’
She sighed, as if he was a small child being deliberately obtuse. ‘I brought you here,’ she said. ‘You still don’t get it? I’m your keeper.’
She wasn’t making any sense. No, he didn’t want what she’d just said to make sense. ‘You knew?’ he asked.
‘All right.’ She lowered the sword, but he recognised the position of the blade as a hidden guard. ‘I’ll spell it out for you, shall I? I serve the order. Do you want me to go on?’
‘Yes,’ he said.
Copis scowled. ‘If you insist,’ she said. ‘I was assigned to you. Mostly just to keep an eye on what you were doing and report back, but if necessary I’d be there to protect you from being assassinated, or kill you myself if that’s what they wanted me to do. When your escort was attacked beside the river – by these people, damn it, the raiders – I admit I panicked and stayed out of it; actually it wasn’t me so much as that waste of space they’d paired me with, the man you killed—’
‘Hold on,’ Poldarn said. ‘You’re talking about the first time we met, just after I woke up—’
‘Of course I am,’ Copis replied. ‘What else did you think I meant?’
‘So you knew all along.’ Suddenly he couldn’t breathe, but there were more important things than breathing. ‘You know who I am. You can tell me—’
Copis shook her head. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But I have no orders to give you that information.’ Her words were stilted, out of character; she was quoting from some general order. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said again.
‘Copis, for God’s sake.’ He started to move towards her; the sword swung up and pointed at his heart. ‘Don’t you understand? ’ he said desperately. ‘The Order’s gone, they’ve been wiped out. Look out the door if you don’t believe me. We’ve killed them all, so it doesn’t matter any more.’
She gave him a look that was as cold as ice, or a dead man’s face. ‘Not all,’ she said. ‘For a start, there’s me. Or are you going to kill me too, you barbarian?’
She spat the word at him, and behind it he could feel the weight of months of hatred, repressed and hidden away in a part of her mind that even she hadn’t been able to get into until now. It wasn’t just hate, it was contempt and disgust, the unappeasable loathing of complete opposites. He took a step back, as if afraid of getting burned.
‘Besides,’ she said, ‘I wouldn’t tell you even if I was allowed.’ She was looking at the backsabre, and the red smear. ‘I should have killed you when I had the chance.’
Poldarn stared at her, his mouth open. ‘Why?’ he asked.
She laughed. ‘You’d like to know, I bet. That way, you’d have a clue, you’d finally be able to figure out who you are. Sorry, no chance, but I’ll tell you this much. This is an imperfect world, and most people are partly bad. Sometimes, depending on the way things happen, they find themselves in circumstances where the bad part of them comes to the top and they do terrible things, because they have to, or because it’s safer or easier. You can’t really blame them, because you can imagine circumstances where you’d do the same yourself, they’re a mirror you can see yourself in, and all you can do is hope that you’ll never end up in their shoes, do the things they found themselves doing. But you aren’t like that. You’re a core of evil with a few layers of flesh and skin, just for show. Everything you did you did because you wanted to, and that’s where I can’t
even begin to understand you, because you didn’t stop at greed or ambition or advantage, you just kept on going, like you wanted to be the end of the world.’ She caught her breath, and laughed shrilly. ‘That’s why I decided you had to be the god in the cart, Poldarn the Destroyer. It seemed so appropriate at the time, and even when you’d lost your memory and suddenly you’d stopped being yourself, everywhere you went there was killing and burning and things falling down. And now,’ she added, letting the sword drop to her side, ‘here you are. Why am I not surprised?’
Poldarn took a deep breath, like someone waiting for a wave to break all round him and drag him under. ‘Whoever I used to be, I know who I am now, and that’s all that matters,’ he said. ‘And if you stay here, they’ll kill you.’
‘We’ll kill you, you mean.’
‘They’ll kill you,’ Poldarn repeated. ‘I came here to rescue you, because—’
She laughed. ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘quite. So, if you really love me, hold still while I cut your head off. Will you do this one small thing for me?’
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
‘Well?’ she said. ‘Is that too much to ask?’
‘No,’ he replied.
She took a step forward, into his circle. He stayed perfectly still, either because he didn’t care if she killed him or not, or because it was too early to assess where her attack was going to come from, so that choosing a guard now would prejudice his defence. ‘It’s one of those dreams we all have,’ she was saying. ‘You die, but you rid the world of an unspeakable monster, so it’s all right really. Something like that would give your whole life some degree of meaning. Seven-eighths of humanity would love to be where I am now.’
‘Go on, then,’ he said. ‘If it’s what you really want.’
She swung the sword over her head, taking a step forward. Poldarn read the move just in time, stepped back and to the right with his right foot and angled his sword down to deflect the cut. She recovered well and threw a backhand side cut at his neck. He’d read that too, and went back out of the way, reverting to a plain forward guard. She glared at him, her expression almost comical, then swung a looping cut that started out aimed at his face but curved in at his hands. He dropped his guard just in time and the tip of the cutting edge glided past his knuckles, missing them by the width of a coin. She took two steps back and resumed her guard.
‘Your money,’ she said, ‘the gold you found in those ruins. I tried to tell myself it wasn’t dirty, you’d just found it, I could give it to the Order where it could do some good. But I could-n’t, so I threw it down a well. At least you’ll never have it now.’
He didn’t answer; instead he started walking backwards towards the door. ‘No you don’t,’ she yelled, and came at him again, this time feinting high and pulling the cut back in to bring it down at his knees. He parried instinctively, and whatever it was he did, it worked. ‘Please,’ he said. ‘Stop it. I can get you out of here alive.’
‘I wouldn’t take my life from you,’ she replied. ‘It wouldn’t be worth having. And for God’s sake fight back.’
He realised. ‘You can’t read me,’ he said. ‘You don’t know how to fight someone who only defends and won’t attack. Those moves aren’t in any of the forms you learned.’
She scowled. ‘Congratulations,’ she said. ‘You’ve just attained the fifteenth grade, summed up in the maxim, The best fight is not to fight. I never got further than the twelfth grade myself, but I’m just a woman, I was lucky to get that far. The depressing thing is, you worked it out for yourself. You never went any higher than the tenth grade.’
She swung at him, a cut that started waist high but changed into an uppercut to the chin as she turned her wrists. He parried it without thinking and took a step closer to the door. ‘I don’t want to leave you,’ he said, ‘but I will. I don’t want to die today.’
‘Tough.’ She attacked again, a rather clumsy lunge that told him she was losing her temper and her patience. ‘So many others didn’t have the choice, because of you. And now—’
He saw the moment and took it. As she drew back from the lunge he hopped sideways and slashed hard, turning the sabre at the last moment so that the back of the blade cracked her across the knuckles. She dropped the sword; he jumped forward and kicked it away. She spat at him, but he dodged easily.
‘Last chance,’ he said.
‘Go to hell,’ she replied, and before she could move he slammed the lower horn of the hilt across her jaw. In retrospect he realised he’d hit much too hard; he felt the jawbone break, the moment of yielding transmitted through the steel into his hand. Apart from that, it worked fine; she was out cold, and he caught her before she hit the ground.
Outside, he ran into Sitrych.
‘Bloody hell,’ Sitrych said, looking at the unconscious woman in his arms. ‘Where’d you find one of them in a place like this?’
He smiled. ‘Just a matter of knowing where to look, I guess,’ he replied.
Sitrych pulled a face. ‘Jammy bastard,’ he said. ‘All I’ve found is a few pairs of old boots and a set of fire irons. Though,’ he added, peering past Poldarn’s elbow at her bruised, swollen face, ‘maybe I haven’t done so badly after all.’
‘I’m not swapping, if that’s what you mean,’ Poldarn said.
Sitrych shrugged. ‘Worth a try,’ he said. ‘Anyway, you’d better stash her somewhere safe, we’ve got to burn this place down now. God knows how, it’s all stone and slate and tiles.’
Poldarn looked up at the sky. He remembered a dream he’d had, involving a captured woman and a village that wouldn’t burn. ‘At least it isn’t raining,’ he said.
Chapter Twenty-Four
‘We found this in the muster yard,’ reported the duty officer, signalling to the guards with a nod of his head. ‘Fell off his horse at us while we were on our way to the mess tent.’
The guards brought forward a mess of clothing, mud and blood and let it slide gently to the ground. The general looked up from his map and sighed. ‘Can’t you deal with it?’ he said. ‘I’m rather busy.’
The duty officer shook his head. ‘I think you’d rather talk to this one yourself,’ he said.
From experience, the general trusted the duty officer’s judgement. ‘If you say so,’ he said. ‘Well, come on, find him a chair or something. I can’t very well interrogate a heap on the floor.’
They fetched a folding chair and loaded the prisoner into it. They were surprisingly gentle, for soldiers.
‘All right,’ the general said, putting down his ruler and compasses. ‘Who are you?’
The prisoner lifted his head. Most of his face was an open wound, with soil and dust ground into it. ‘My God,’ the general said, ‘what happened to you?’
It was more in the nature of a rhetorical question, since he couldn’t believe that someone so badly smashed up would still be able to talk. In fact, the man’s voice was calm and steady, if a little weak. ‘Like the man said,’ he replied, ‘I fell off my horse. Almost fell off,’ he added, moving the corner of his mouth into what would have been a smile, ‘except for one foot, which I carelessly left in the stirrup. Wouldn’t have been so bad, only these idiots were chasing the poor brute all round the square.’
The general, who had seen more slaughter than most men, couldn’t help shuddering a little. ‘Get the doctor,’ he said. ‘This man needs attention.’
‘Later.’ The prisoner could still raise his voice. ‘I’ve got to ask you something. Who are you?’
There was a brief silence.
‘Banged his head, probably,’ muttered the duty officer. ‘You, get the surgeon.’
A guard hurried away, while the general looked at the prisoner. ‘My name is Cronan Sulivois,’ he said. ‘Are you telling me you didn’t know that?’
The prisoner tried to laugh, but couldn’t. ‘Well, there you go,’ he said. ‘I’ve been looking all over for you. My name’s—’ He hesitated. ‘My name’s Monach,’
he said. ‘I represent the order of Deymeson. Would you like to know why I’m here?’
General Cronan frowned. ‘Where’s that doctor got to?’ he said. ‘This man’s off his head.’
‘No,’ the prisoner replied. ‘And you didn’t answer my question. Would you like to know—?’
‘Yes,’ General Cronan interrupted. ‘Since you seem determined to tell me, yes, I would.’
The prisoner let his head slump forward. ‘I was sent to kill you,’ he said.
General Cronan looked up. ‘Were you really?’ he said. ‘Well, I don’t think you’ll be up to killing anybody for a while. I hope that’s not a problem.’
‘It’s all right,’ Monach said, ‘there’s been a change of plan. You need to go to Sansory, immediately.’
‘Do I?’ Cronan sighed. ‘And why would I want to do that?’
Monach grabbed the sides of the chair with his tattered hands and pulled himself up straight. He managed to hold himself there for a second or two before his strength gave way and he slid back. For some reason Cronan found the gesture impressive. ‘Because,’ Monach said, ‘Feron Amathy and the raiders are going to burn it down if you don’t. Do you understand me?’
Cronan leaned forward. ‘What makes you say that?’ he said.
‘Because he told me so himself. I was holding a knife under his chin at the time. I’m inclined to believe him.’