I was fairly sure he never would be.
“I would be happy just to have a place,” he finished, and let go of my hand.
I took a deep breath, bending to gather my clothes from the floor. I felt his eyes on me as I dressed, and as I turned to get my things, I felt his hand on mine once again. I turned, and he pulled me to him, his hand going to my cheek as he leaned in to kiss me once more.
“Don’t let this be the last time I see you, Ravenna,” he whispered. His bright green eyes were dimmed and sad, and I reached out to touch him in return, my fingers skimming over his jaw. “I’ll do my best,” I said, my voice a low, regretful whisper. “But I can’t make any promises.”
I turned then, grabbing my bag, and the last thing I heard as I opened the door and slipped outside was his quiet whisper behind me.
“I know.”
---
The second the cab came to a stop at the end of my street, I dug in my wallet, tossing two twenty dollar bills at the driver as I jumped out and began to jog down the road, my heavy bag bouncing against my ribs. I half expected to see smoke rising from our house, but when I made it to the end of the gravel driveway, I only saw Kavi standing on the porch, the door ajar, his face thunderous.
“What happened?” I asked, letting my bag fall to the porch with a heavy thud, and then I saw the shattered glass spread across the dirt of the flowerbed beneath the large living room window.
“Someone tried to break in,” Kavi growled. “I was in the shower when I heard the glass break. I came running out, and saw someone standing in the living room, but it was dark, and I couldn’t quite make them out. They had tried to pick the lock on the door, then break in around the doorjamb, and when that failed, they broke the window. He yanked the door open and ran back outside before I could stop him.”
I frowned. “How do you know it was a ‘he’?”
Kavi frowned. “Because I’m almost certain I know who it was.”
I stared at him. “Someone you know?”
“No,” he corrected. “Someone you know. That man you met at the bar a few weeks ago, the one that Isa tried to warn away. Toven, I think his name is.”
For a moment, I was entirely speechless. There were too many things to unpack in that one sentence—the fact that Isa had ignored me and told Kavi about the meeting, the fact that Kavi had somehow found out his name, and beyond that, the fact that they had kept all of this from me. My heart sank as I realized my feeling had been right all along. They had been keeping something from me. I thought of Isa’s assurances just a few nights ago in bed and felt sick.
“It wasn’t him,” I said coldly. “But what I want to know is, how do you know his name? What did Isa tell you?” I swallowed hard, trying not to let my temper rise up too far. “I told him not to say anything! He lied to me, and you both kept it from me that you knew!”
“How do you know it wasn’t him?” Kavi countered, his tone sharp. “And you should never have kept that from me in the first place!” His voice was rising, angrier than I had ever heard it directed at me. “Do you not think that’s something I should know? That a stranger is interested in you, in us, in a new town where we are trying to make a home? You think that, of all things, is something you should keep from me?”
“Yes!” I snapped, “because you’d only worry, and make it out to be more than it is, exactly as you’re doing right now! Not everyone is out to get us, Kavi! The whole world isn’t hunting us! He was just a man, who was interested in me, and Isa got his fur ruffled. He’s no danger to us.”
“Except he isn’t just a man,” Kavi said, his tone grim. “And I think you know that, too, Ravenna, which makes you trying to keep it a secret even worse.” He looked suddenly tired, as if he had aged. “We have never kept secrets from one another, Ravenna. This wasn’t the time to begin.”
“I could have handled this myself,” I said sharply. “I don’t need you and Isa to watch my back every second. I’ve lived twice what a normal woman does and more, I can take care of myself!”
“Oh?” Kavi raised an eyebrow. “And where were you tonight, Ravenna? What friend were you visiting?”
“Oh don’t be jealous,” I hissed. “It doesn’t suit you.”
He laughed then, a sharp sound that pierced the air between us. “Jealous? No, Ravenna, I’m not jealous. If I were a jealous man, Isa wouldn’t be here, sharing a bed and a life with us.”
He took a step closer to me, anger emanating from him, visible in every rigid muscle and in the clench of his jaw. “I have never wanted any woman but you, from the moment that I saw you in that meadow, Ravenna, nor any other man but Isa, but I would never begrudge you a diversion, if you needed it. I know what we have together cannot be broken by anyone else, and that it is altogether different from what you might share with another.” He reached out, his fingers hovering an inch from my face, as if he wanted to touch me, and then his hand dropped to his side, and he took a step back. “It’s not that you were with another man tonight that angers me, Ravenna.” His voice was low, and exhausted. “It’s that there is a man who poses a danger to us, and you never even thought it was important to tell me when the two of you met. Instead, you asked Isa to keep secrets with you.” He shrugged. “At least I still know Isa can be trusted.” His voice was cutting, and he turned away, his expression impossible to see in the dark. “If this is what it means to have a normal life, Ravenna, it’s certainly not what I had hoped for.”
I felt my heart sink further at that, my throat tightening. But I wasn’t the only one in the wrong. “I’m not the only person who lied, Kavi.” I began to say.
“No, Ravenna, you weren’t. But it was your lie which started all of this.” He shook his head in disgust. “Over a century of running, of learning to hide in plain sight, of caution and starting over again and again, of sharing with one another and you didn’t think to share that this Toven might be a danger to us. I know you are not that foolish, and that means you were blinded by what you wanted, or you chose to ignore it. I don’t know which is worse. But I am certain he is at fault here.”
He made good points, but that simply made it worse for me.
“He can’t be,” I said flatly. “I was with him tonight.”
Kavi didn’t turn, but I saw the muscles in his back tense when I spoke. “Then he had someone else do it. But I am sure he is behind it.”
“Why?” I demanded. “Why are you so sure it wasn’t just a break-in? People have their houses robbed all the time, Kavi. It doesn’t have to be anything more than that.”
“If you don’t feel you have to tell me everything, then neither do I.” Kavi did turn then, stalking past me down the steps.
“Where are you going?” I fought to keep the quiver out of my voice. “Kavi!”
He didn’t answer, and I sank down onto the steps as I watched his silhouette, walking further and further away down the driveway until he turned the corner and was gone.
19
Ravenna
I was still there, on the steps, when Isa came home. He ran up the driveway the moment he saw me, in long loping strides, coming to an abrupt halt in front of the porch.
“Ravenna, what’s wrong?” I glanced up to see his brow creased with worry. He took in the broken window, the still-open door, and I saw his face pale slightly. “Where’s Kavi? What happened? I texted you back, and called. Why didn’t you answer?”
My phone was still in my bag, and I didn’t know why I hadn’t heard it. Maybe the battery had died, or perhaps I had just been too mired in my misery after Kavi left to pay attention. I shrugged in response. “Someone broke in,” I said tiredly. “Kavi left.”
Isa stared at me confusedly. “What do you mean? Who broke in? Why would he leave? Did he go to the police?”
“No,” I said, my voice flat. “Isa, why did you tell Kavi about Toven? You promised you wouldn’t.”
He let out a long sigh, sinking down onto the step below me. “Because we don’t keep secrets, Ravenna. We
never have. I couldn’t keep something like that from Kavi, and you never should have asked me to.”
“But you kept a secret from me,” I insisted. “You didn’t tell me that Kavi knew, that you had told him. Why would you promise me that if you were just going to break it? And why wouldn’t you tell me that you had, if you’re so worried about secrets between us?”
“I didn’t want to fight with you,” Isa said tiredly. “Not when we were just trying to settle in here. I knew you wouldn’t let it go. I didn’t tell you that I had said something to Kavi because I thought we could just keep an eye on the situation, from a distance, and let you handle it on your own. We wouldn’t do anything unless you were in danger.” He sighed again. “I don’t know why Kavi said anything about it now.”
“Because he thinks Toven is the one who broke into the house,” I said sharply. “And he wasn’t.”
“How do you know that?”
I could tell from the wariness in Isa’s tone that he knew already how I knew. “I was with him tonight,” I said, not looking away. “Are you going to be mad at me for that, too?”
“No, Ravenna,” he said softly. “I’m not angry with you. But gods, I wish you’d chosen anyone else.”
“He’s not a danger to us,” I insisted. “I won’t tell him anything about us, or why we came here. He’s just…”
“Just a diversion?” Isa shook his head. “Ravenna, you have never been a woman for diversions, and you know that every bit as well as I do. If you want him, it’s because there is something more to it. And if you fall in love with him…”
“And what if I do?” I glared at him. “Are you jealous, too?”
“Kavi is not jealous, and neither am I,” Isa said gently. “I know it is easier to think that than to consider that you may have feelings for someone who poses a threat to us. But we have reason to think this Toven may be dangerous.”
I shook my head. “If you’re not going to tell me what those reasons are, then I don’t want to hear anymore, Isa. You can’t upbraid me for keeping a secret from Kavi when the two of you won’t tell me all you know, either.” I shrugged. “If we can’t be honest with each other anymore, then what are we doing here, Isa? What have we fought for all this time?” I felt tears glittering in my eyes, and I looked down, trying to blink them away. I refused to cry.
Isa was quiet for a long time. “I’m going to go find Kavi,” he said at last. “I’ll bring him home, Ravenna. I can’t promise more than that.” He stood, and his words hit me like a punch to the stomach, knocking the air out of me.
---
I didn’t know how long I stayed out on the porch, staring out into the darkness. It never occurred to me that whoever was behind the break-in might come back, but even if they did, I don’t think I’d have cared. In that moment, the threat of losing the most important thing in my life made everything else seem like a distant concern.
I blinked back hot tears as I sat there, knowing if I started to cry I wouldn’t stop.
There were years of unshed tears bottled up in me, a lifetime of fear and running and forcing myself to be strong and brave even when I didn’t feel the least bit like either of those things. I’d managed to make it through even the hardest, most terrifying moments of our lives because I’d known one thing for certain—Kavi and Isa were worth any amount of hardship.
A new, terrifying thought occurred to me as I sat there. What if it’s only lasted as long as it has because you were all too busy looking outward at what could hurt you to really look inward? What if trying to have some semblance of a normal, domestic life means finding out that you weren’t really meant to be together at all?
I tried to push the thoughts away, but the fear lingered. How many mortals managed to make relationships last a lifetime? How many truly found good, equitable partners, and kept them for all of their lives? And here we were, trying to make something last much, much longer.
Maybe we were foolish to believe that we could truly make love last an eternity, I thought, the first of the tears slipping down my cheeks. I brushed them away angrily, but they kept coming, faster and faster, and I heard myself make a small, choked sob. I huddled against the porch railing, feeling small and weak, and hating myself for it. How had things spiraled out of control so quickly?
I heard my phone ringing, the cheery tone cutting through the air, and I jumped up, grabbing my purse and digging for it. Please be Kavi, I thought. Or Isa, calling to tell me that all is forgiven and they’re on their way home.
I saw Toven’s name on the screen, and I didn’t know how to feel. Disappointment that I still didn’t know when Kavi and Isa would be back, anxiety about where they were and what was happening, and a spark of excitement that Toven was calling all warred together, making me feel even more confused than I had a moment ago.
I sniffed back the tears and tapped the screen, trying not to sound as if I’d been crying. “Hello?”
“Ravenna?” Toven’s voice came over the line, instantly worried. I felt a warmth deep in my belly at the way he said my name, his unfamiliar accent rolling over the letters. “Are you alright?”
I nodded without thinking, and then felt instantly foolish. “Yes,” I managed. “Just a little trouble here at the house, but nothing important.”
“You’re safe then?” he pressed. “And the others, your…men, they’re safe too?”
I wanted to laugh at the way he’d referred to Kavi and Isa. I supposed ‘boyfriends’ sounded a bit juvenile when you’d lived as long as we had. And he had no idea that Kavi and I were married in every way that mattered. “Yes,” I repeated. “We’re all just fine. A little break-in is all it was, someone looking for something they could steal, I’m sure.”
“You’re sure that’s all it was?” He was quiet for a moment. “You said…Ravenna, I know you can’t tell me your secrets. But if you’re in danger, I can help you. I’m sure that I can.”
“There’s no danger,” I said, trying to sound more sure than I felt. “It was just an ordinary crime, that’s all. I’ve called the police.” I hadn’t, but there was no point in telling Toven that. He’d only worry more.
“The police here stay busy,” Toven said. “Just because those who stay here are safe from the outside world doesn’t mean that they’re safe from those already here. There are the laws, of course, but,” he let out a long breath that I could hear on the other side of the phone. “Laws are often broken.”
“You don’t have to worry,” I said, gripping the phone hard. “But Toven, I don’t know when I can see you again.” I should tell him that Kavi believes he was behind it, I thought. After all, wasn’t it keeping secrets that had gotten us into this mess so far? But then I thought of the silence of the dark hotel room, so far away from all the fears and anxieties that plagued us every day. If I told him, if I brought him into this, whatever it was, I could no longer escape there. I could no longer pretend that whatever connected he and I was something else, something outside of my life.
The thought hit me hard, sending a fresh lump into my throat. When had I started to feel that my life was something I had to escape from?
“Ravenna?” Toven’s voice broke through my thoughts, and I shook my head. “What do you mean?”
“I just…it’s that…I need to be home for a while,” I said, stumbling over my words. “I shouldn’t have done this in the first place, Toven. There are other people who need me.”
“I know,” he said gently, almost soothingly. “Ravenna, don’t worry. Whatever is happening, I’ll be here when it’s done. You know where I am.”
A vivid image of him standing nude in the hotel room flashed into my mind, coupled with the memory of his hands moving over my body, the way he’d kissed me as if he’d been thinking of nothing but what it would be like to feel his lips on mine since the moment we’d met.
Maybe that was true. But it didn’t change anything.
“I know,” I whispered.
It was a long moment before I hung up withou
t saying another word. I sat on the steps, my phone clenched in my hands, and I waited.
20
Kavi
I stalked down the driveway and into the darkness without the slightest idea of where I was going or what I planned to do. I just walked, fast enough that no one bothered me, my head down and my eyes fixed on the sidewalk, my thoughts spinning furiously.
Under the anger was a deep sense of betrayal that I’d never expected to feel. Contrary to what Ravenna thought, it wasn’t jealousy. It was a more foolish man than I that expected her to live hundreds of years and never meet any other man who sparked her interest—or her emotions. I knew the bond and vows between us were inviolable and unbreakable, just as Isa knew the ones between she and I and him were.
I didn’t want her to spend the night in another man’s bed, but if she had, I would have let her, and understood. I had had a thousand and more of them with her already, and I would have thousands more—I hoped.
Tonight had thrown that fear into sharp relief. I knew that logically, it could have been anyone. Vegas was no safer than any other city in terms of petty crime. And on the surface, her meeting with this man, Toven, and the incident could have been nothing more than a coincidence.
If it wasn’t for what I knew—that he was a god—I might have believed that. But with that bit of information thrown into the mix, there was too much there for it to just be a coincidence. The small, rational part of my mind that was still functioning said that perhaps I was wrong—after all, hadn’t Ravenna said she’d been with him tonight?
Pursued by the Gods Page 11